Life is a tapestry woven with uncertainties, yet never did I imagine I would find myself trapped within the pages of a disdainful novel, cast as a despised character. Once an assassin, my days were consumed by hardship, pain, and isolation. The art of killing, the sight of blood, and the perpetration of heinous crimes had rendered me numb to the tender caress of love. As a daughter now, adored by her father, I am a noblewoman with wealth and status in high society, but cursed with an unrequited love life.
But do matters of the heart hold any significance for me? If I refrain from falling for the male lead, perhaps I can carve out a blissful existence. Prince Albert Walter—avoiding him will ensure my liberation from the torments of the original narrative. It seems as though God relishes playing mind games with me, or so it feels. Nevertheless, being a prosperous noble does have its merits. I can revel in a life of indulgence, freely dating multiple suitors, and luxuriating in my newfound opulence. As the Death Queen, I never had a moment to spare for myself. This second chance at life must be seized to nurture self-love and pursue my desires.
Lost in contemplation of the carefree life that lay ahead, I inadvertently burst into laughter. "Heehee, hoo, it would be splendid to simply sleep, eat, and revel in leisure."
"Daughter, my precious," my father interjected, concern furrowing his brow as he beheld my unusual mirth. As a noblewoman, Helen had always been adept at concealing her emotions, so it must have been a novel sight for him to witness such a smile.
I held no blame for him; his worry was only natural. I had resolved to live for myself, unburdened by the expectations that Helen would have carried. This was my life now, and I would embrace it to the fullest.
"There's nothing to worry about, Father. I am free from all concerns. I know you will always be there to keep me safe," I reassured him, my smile unwavering. I did not wish to see this man, the first to show me kindness, burdened with worry.
"Booohooo... Booohoooo... my baby calls me 'father' instead of 'DADDY,'" he wailed, eyes welling with tears.
"Daddy, daddy, is that what you prefer?" I hastily queried, perplexed by this grown man reduced to tears over a trivial matter.
A smile broke across his face as he responded, "Yes, my baby, that is more than alright. I am here for you."
I sighed in relief. Calling my father "daddy" felt somewhat embarrassing, reminiscent of lovers in more modern times. But he cared for me, and this was the first time I had experienced the presence of a loving father.
"I'm rather exhausted. May I freshen up now?" I inquired, hoping to gather my thoughts in solitude.
"Oh, of course. We shall speak later. I have a meeting at the palace, and I will ensure the Crown Prince treats you with the utmost respect this time," my father declared, his expression growing serious as he made his way towards the door.
"The Crown Prince? Treat me well? Daddy, what do you mean?" I pressed, aware of Helen's turbulent relationship with the Crown Prince, but puzzled as to why my father felt compelled to intervene directly.
"Fear not, my baby. I will see to it that he never dares to act rudely again," he assured me before swiftly departing.
"Wait!" I cried out, but my father had already vanished beyond the threshold.
The young girl, clad in a maid's uniform, fixated her gaze upon me. A nervous and worried expression adorned her face, as if she bore a burden I was yet to comprehend. Breaking the silence, I spoke, my voice tinged with uncertainty, "Who are you? It appears that I have lost some of my memories."
"I am Jannat, Young Miss. Your exclusive maid," she replied, her voice humble and gentle.
"I see," I nodded, attempting to absorb this newfound information.
"Do not let anyone discover my memory loss. Only my father and you should be aware. Additionally, assist me when others approach, whispering their identities in my ear," I instructed Jannat.
"Yes, Miss," she dutifully affirmed.
With Jannat's assistance, I freshened up and changed into a new dress, aided by the other maids who had entered the room. Presenting an array of shiny and extravagant dresses adorned with countless laces, Jannat inquired, "Young Miss, which dress would you like to wear today?"
Observing the dazzling assortment of orange, pink, yellow, purple, and dark green, I found myself yearning for a more modest elegance. "Do you not have something less ostentatious?" I questioned.
"Miss, we did, but..." Jannat hesitated, her nerves evident.
"Speak plainly. I have little patience for dawdling," I demanded, casting a stern gaze upon her. Her trembling demeanor only served to further irritate me. I could now comprehend why she feared Helen, the supposed villain who meets her demise at the hands of the Crown Prince's guard.
"We burned all those plain dresses, as you had expressed a disinterest in having them in your wardrobe," Jannat revealed hesitantly.
"Huhh! Did my taste truly plummet to such depths? In both men and fashion?" I muttered to myself. I understood that the real Helen must have employed such attire to captivate the attention of the Crown Prince, her desperate attempts to seduce Albert coming to naught.
"Fetch me the plainest dress you currently possess," I commanded.
"Yes, Young Miss," Jannat complied, making her way to the closet to retrieve the requested item. Soon enough, she presented me with a dark blue dress, adorned solely with a solitary white jewel upon its belt. The garment perfectly matched the aloof and cold aura Helen exuded.
With Jannat's skilled hands, my hair was carefully combed and elegantly styled. Standing before the mirror, I couldn't help but acknowledge my own beauty and grace. "Ah, I must engage in physical training and exercise. This body is far too frail," I murmured to myself, contemplating the need to strengthen myself. Moreover, I realized the importance of meticulously documenting my recollections of the novel before they faded from memory, ensuring I didn't miss any crucial details or significant events.