✮
˗ˏˋ LEILANI 'ˎ˗
━━━ DEC. 10, 1993
BURBANK, CALIFORNIA
"I'VE COME BEARING gifts," Jane sang off key as she welcomed herself inside of my bedroom. "Here you go, a fresh bowl of açaí with extra granola."
"Hmm, you only buy my favorite breakfast dish when something goes completely wrong or when you need a favor," I lifted a brow. "Which one is it?"
"Whaatt? Pft, no. I don't need a favor nor do I need you to do anything for me-"
"She's lying."
My eyes roamed to the source of a voice that I hadn't heard in a little under a week. After my performance in Chicago, Rodney didn't utter a single word. Our living arrangement made it easy for me to physically see him but even then, these past few days have been filled with intolerable silence.
As he stood against the door frame with his head slightly tilted toward us, he lit a cigarette before continuing.
"Label wants to have a meeting with all of us, you included."
"No," I shook my head in refusal. "If Paul is planning to do what I think he's doing then I'm not participating in his mess. He's trying to get rid of you, y'know."
"I'm well aware," he snickered sardonically. "But that doesn't mean you can't show up. They aren't getting rid of me that easily."
"Oh bloody hell, I don't have to go if I don't want to," I voiced with a hint of annoyance laced within my tone. Rodney's arrogance toward his status at the label infuriated me like no other, especially when he knew that the decision was out of his hands. "And how can you be so sure that they won't drop you? You're blacklisted in the industry and you don't even have the fuckin' balls to tell anyone why."
"Okay now Xena, let's just calm down here-"
"No, please let her speak," Rodney cut off Jane's anxious attempt at diffusing our soon to be argument. "Let the little girl speak on shit she doesn't know about, the hell if I care."
"Little- little girl?! Oh right, because you still fuckin' treat me like one. This isn't the fuckin' mid 80's Rod, I'm not the same eighteen year old girl you met back then. I don't know what goes on in that cigarette smokin' head of yours but I know for certain that you have a problem and it's not with me."
"Hmph, baby all my problems lead back to you. All of them. So don't think for a second that you're a saint when you've been nothin' but a pain in my ass," he growled before exhaling the toxic fumes of his cigarette. "You think that just because you're Xena I'm supposed to worship the floor you walk on? I told you time and time again that I'm not a fuckin' fan of you, I'm your manager and that's all there is to it."
"Rodney that's enough-"
"Oh no Jane," I said while raising my hand to cease her speaking. "Let the little ungrateful white bastard speak. This isn't even grazing the surface of what he said to me before we left London. You think that just because I wanna know the truth about you being blacklisted, I'm tellin' you to worship the floor I walk on? How self-centered can you be? I'm trying to help your dumb ass-"
"I don't need your help," he gruffly voiced.
"And I don't need your fuckin' attitude," I said while standing up and walking toward him. Our height difference was laughable in this situation. I was only five foot three and his staggering height of six foot two forced my head to look up at him. "Fuck you!"
"Fuck you!"
"OKAY ENOUGH!" Jane shouted while walking up to us. "You," she pointed at me. "You have to go to this damn meeting. No matter what happens, it's mandatory and I'll be damned if I have you damage your career by doing something as stupid as skipping it. "And you," she pointed at Rodney. "Leilani's right, you need to start being honest with the both of us."
There was a eerie silence between the three of us, my eyes not daring to look away from Rodney's gaze. I could feel my blood boiling at the sight of an a imperious smirk creeping upon his lips. The way he knew just how to get me riled up bothered the living hell out of me and it always worked in his favor.
"I'm outta here," I mumbled before purposefully bumping Rodney's arm as I passed by him.
"The meeting is tonight at seven, you can't miss this Leilani!" Jane shouted as she followed me to the entrance of the penthouse. "And hey—you better have Theo escort you anywhere you decide to go!"
Without saying a word I slammed the door behind me and angrily stomped toward my car. My hands were shaky as I tried to insert my key into the ignition.
"Shit," I whispered while the keys on my keychain fumbled against one another. After a few seconds of frustration, I had successfully put the key into the ignition and started the car.
I didn't have a destination. In truth, I had nothing planned but the displeasure of staying within the same vicinity of Rodney increased by the millisecond. It was obvious; he was spiraling. The man that always seemed to have a firm grip on reality was slowly but surely fading and turning into someone more... dejected.
He made it seem as if everything was fine by going through the motions but it was his heart that snitched on him. Never being one to wear his heart on his sleeve, he did exactly that today. I had seen him this upset once before and it was just before returning to the Americas. Something triggered him, something that was beyond his control.
Much like his status at Death Valley.
With it being midday in Los Angeles, there weren't many places that a celebrity could go without being hounded by fans. My only option was to go to a secluded area, one that I knew would be off-limits to the public.
I turned in the direction to my new destination, arriving shortly after. I placed an old baseball cap on top of my straight black tresses and put on a pair of black aviators before opening my car door. The fresh scent of sea salt immediately made contact with my nostrils. With each step I took toward the secluded area of Venice Beach, my mind kept replaying the argument I had just had with Rodney.
"...all my problems lead back to you."
I didn't believe his words, obviously. But they did cut like a knife. If he truly meant it, I knew he would've removed himself from the equation long before I even became Xena. It was true, wherever I went trouble wasn't too far to follow but that was only because I had what a lot of people wanted.
I sat down at a nearby bench, avoiding the worn out construction tape that had been poorly propped around it. I let out a small sigh before I felt the presence of someone near me.
"You shouldn't be out here by yourself young lady," a familiar voice stated from behind me. "And if I didn't know any better, I would say that you look an awful lot like that famous rock singer."
"Hmph," I smirked without turning to acknowledge the voice. "Well, if I didn't know any better I would say you sound an awful lot like that cookie cutter pop star everyone loves."
"Hey," he nudged me, which caused me to turn around. He was in one of his usual disguises, a cap with prosthetics to alter the look and shape of his face. Lucky for me, I knew this disguise all too well. "I'm not a cookie cutter anything."
"Yeah, yeah," I playfully rolled my eyes. "How long have you been out here?"
"Long enough to see you sneak your way through the main beach and sit on this bench," he snickered. "You suck at sneaking around, by the way."
"Oh-I'm sorry that I'm not mischievous like you," I teased which earned me another nudge. He took a seat next to me, the feeling of butterflies fluttering within my stomach taking its toll on me. "W-What are you doing here, Michael?"
"Can I be honest?"
I nodded and as I turned to face him, his doe eyes were already locked onto me. His eyes always put my weakhearted self into a trance, leaving no room for me to even let out a small peep. Those eyes of his danced around each and every crevice of my being. It was hard to mask my emotions because he always found a way to pry them out of me.
"I had a feeling you'd come here. You've been avoiding me, Xe."
"I-I have not," I shook my head in denial, knowing good and well that I have been. Since I called him the other night, my heart ached at the sound of his fiancée's voice being on the other end. I could say that it even shattered. My voice was strained and at that point, I had to hang up as quickly as I could.
"You have," he whispered while slowly removing the aviators from my face. Normally, it would be hard to face Michael while in disguise due to how ridiculous it looked but in this moment, I saw straight through it. "I fucking miss you. I've been callin' your phone like crazy, girl."
"I-I'm sorry," I rasped out before looking down. "I haven't really been in the best of moods lately. When I came back from Chicago, I kind of just... distanced myself from everyone-"
"Everyone except Rodney I assume," he interrupted.
"Don't say it like that," I rolled my eyes. "Me and him haven't even been on the greatest of terms lately. Hell, that's why I'm out here now."
"What happened?"
"Well, long story short Death Valley is trying to release him as my manager. We have this so called 'meeting' tonight and I think it's about that. He's all nonchalant about it but I know Rodney better than anyone. When he's calm about something, that means he's spiraling."
"I don't like him but you do so... I'll support whatever you decide. Although he used to he a pain in my ass, I knew that he was always good to you when it came down to your career."
"And he has always had my best interest," I noted.
"I've always had your best interest, too. I still do," he said while removing his prosthetics, exposing his beautiful face.
The wind picked up, giving stray leaves the freedom to roam within our vicinity. The air was cool due to the cold front California had recently gotten some days ago, giving it a chance to feel like winter in a hot climate. Michael placed his large hand on top of mine and weaved our fingers together. My heart felt as if it was slipping into a series of palpitations as my body shivered at his gentle touch.
"I know," I managed to let out as the wind dialed down.
"So why are you distancing yourself? Lani, if I did something-"
"You didn't."
"Then why-"
"What if I lose you again Michael?" I questioned with passion, eluding to his soon to be marriage. "My heart can't bear that again. It-It just can't."
"You're never and I mean never going to lose me again Leilani. Over my dead body. I swear that I'll make it my mission to go any and all lengths to be in your life. I'd even sail the seven seas if I had to."
"Okay now you're just being corny," I smirked slightly before it quickly faded. I knew that if Michael married Lisa, his time would be invested solely into his marriage. He always talked of having a wife and children and heavily devoted his life to making that happen.
What if he has children with Lisa?
Before my thoughts could go any further, Michael forced me to face his direction by grabbing my face with both of his large hands. His eyes candidly studied mine and our faces were inches apart. The scent of aftershave mixed with a fresh hibiscus musk favored my senses.
"Get outta that pretty little head of yours, hm?" his soft voice snapped me out of my negative premonitions. His eyes darted down toward the lower half of my face. Confusion pooled within me as he licked his pink tinted lips and slowly leaned forward. He completely avoided my face and placed his forehead onto my shoulder, a small chuckle escaping his mouth.
He mumbled a few inaudible words until he raised his head and caressed my cheek with a slight tilt to his head. There was never a time Michael failed to give me looks of admiration, even after all these years of being out of touch. It was endearing.
"Are you busy today?" he asked after a few quiet moments of gazing at me.
"Hm, well I have that meeting at seven in the evening. Other than that, I believe I'm free."
"Spend the day with me," he stated rather than questioned. "Just like old times."
"Are you sure you don't have other obligations to tend to?" I probed slyly, referring to his fiancée that I knew would miss him throughout the day. Michael easily read through my demeanor and smiled sheepishly.
"I don't have any other obligations I want to tend to," he expressed while closing the slight gap between our bodies. "Other than this one right here."
There was something about his words that made it impossible to reject his offer. However, there was a lingering feeling of doubt swarming within my heart. I knew just how destructive it would be to spend more time with Michael but I missed my best friend.
Although my heart knew I desired much more.
"Okay..."