Tw: alcohol/drug use, abuse, transphobia, overstimulation, other triggering topics
Jared's legs felt like they were going to give out from exhaustion, every other step he took felt like hell. He was pushed back and forth through the crowd of highschoolers pouring out the doors to leave for home. There were too many things touching him at once and everything was far too loud, his skin crawled uncomfortably and his head felt fuzzy.
He was this close to falling over and collapsing when he got to his car, an old broken down Honda that was probably like 10 years older than he was and had a mile count higher than he could count if given a weeks time.
When he turned his key into the hole, the rumbling noise of the rusty engine rang in his ears. He felt like his brain was shaking inside of his skull.
He ran a hand through his hair, letting out a sharp but slow exhale as his fingers gripped tightly against the steering wheel. He drove home silently, his radio had been busted since freshman year. Not that he had any crazy story of how, it just stopped working one day and it's not like he had enough money to fix it.
He would listen to music with his earbuds while he drove but... well he couldn't charge them in the morning anymore since his mom hadn't payed the electricity bill in a while.
He slowly opened the front door, it was pitch black. He let out a small sigh as he began to walk upsta-
"ELI !"
Goddammit.
Jared paused, before turning around and walking over to the kitchen. Bud-light cans were overflowing in the garbage cans and there were bottles of various things both strawn across the counter and shattered on the floor.
"You didn't finish your chores last night." his mom hissed. Jared nervously shoved his hands into his pockets. "I did though..?" He mumbled.
"You didn't unload the dishwasher or clean out the kitchen, look at how disgusting it is in here!" She motioned around them with her hand, glaring daggers into the shorter boy. "Wh- but- but you didn't ask me to!"
"You should fucking know better!" She took a step toward him. He was frozen in place. "It's your fucking job, Eli." "That's not-" "-sometimes I question if you're even my daugh-" "-BECAUSE IM NOT! IM NOT!" As soon as Jared shouted that, regret flooded inside of him faster than it ever has in his life.
She grabbed his arm tightly, her nails digging down into his flesh. A whimper of pain escaped his lips.
"Talk like that to me one more goddamn time I fucking dare you." She snapped, breathing heavily with rage.
Jared said nothing.
"That's what I thought." She let go. He stumbled backwards, his shoulders shaking. "Go finish your chores, and pay the bills while you're at it."
And then she walked out of the room, and Jared was reminded that he was completely and utterly alone.
Tears began to prick in his eyes for the first time in years. He wanted to scream, he wanted to sob, he wanted to claw out his own heart with the shattered pieces of glass littering the floor to get rid of the feeling of hopeless that built and built and built inside of his chest with no sign of slowing or stopping.
He listened anyways though, of course. Sure, in public he's rude and brash and oh so stubborn. You'd think he wouldn't bend over for anyone, that no one could command him.
Not here though.
Here? He's nothing but weak. He's nothing but weak and pathetic, undeserving and ungrateful.
Alone.
Here, he's alone.
He doesn't have anyone to help him out of this dark pit he'd been in for his entire life.
He grabbed a garbage bag out of the cabinet underneath the sink, and began scooping in all the scraps left behind by his parents.
It took him about 15 minutes to get everything cleaned up, but he still had to scrub the countertops.
He leaned against the wall for a second, closing his eyes. He needed a break, even if it was just for 5 minutes. It hadn't been that much work if he was honest but he already had a shitty day and he was on the verge of snapping, he just needed a few seconds of rest.
A small noise from below made him open his eyes, a small tiny grin made its way onto his face. Standing right by his legs, staring up at him with wide eyes, was his cat.
She meowed, nuzzling against his jeans. He bent over to pet her, gently dragging his hand against her fur before picking her up.
"Hey there Nacho !" He smiled, watching as the small orange creature rubbed against his shirt. He glanced around the kitchen for a second, before beginning to step out.
"I can finish the rest in here later so you can sit with me for a little while, alright?" Nacho stared up at him as if she understood, even though Jared knew she had no fucking clue what he was talking about.
He went upstairs into his dads office, sitting down in the chair in front of the family computer. He logged onto PG&E's website, what drove him crazy wasn't even the fact he had to do it, it was actually the opposite. It was so fucking easy, you just have to click a few buttons and that's it. She could've just asked him to do it in the first place and then they'd actually have power, or better yet just do it herself.
He turned off the computer after he was finished as he gently pet Nacho. The power would turn back on in a day or two, which wasn't quick enough for his laptop or his phone to last.
Jared rubbed his eyes, god he was so fucking tired. It wasn't even late, it was like 4 something, but he still had more things to do. He stood up, much to his pet's dismay. She let out an annoyed meow, her tail flicking back and fourth as she stared at him. He gave a quick apology before reentering the kitchen.
He bent down, digging through the cabinet underneath the sink. Grabbing a few bottles of cleaning spray, he then grabbed the sponge next to the sink. He looked at it for a second, it... felt weird.
He moved his hand, a blueish green substance coating the spot of the sponge where he was holding it.
"Fuck-! god- gross-!" Jared set it down back by the sink, rinsing his hands of any mold that might've rubbed off onto them. Not like it would've actually gotten it off though, the kitchen sink had the worlds shittiest water pressure.
He then grabbed a rag, guess he'd have to use it instead. He began spraying a bottle of cleaning spray onto the countertops that were stained and sticky, bits of rotten food and liquids caked into the surface. After letting the cleaner sit for a bit he wiped it off, sure some of the gunk came off but no where near all of it.
It took him nearly 3 hours to completely get the kitchen clean, including doing the dishes, and after that he still had other chores like laundry and sweeping and he's pretty sure he's supposed to clean his room but he doesn't remember, he'll do it anyways just in case.
It took until midnight to finish all his chores and he still had homework to do. Jared sat down at the desk in his room, he pulled out a few worksheets. He (sadly) couldn't bother Evan while he did his work considering he needed to save his battery up for the rest of the night at least.
He was planning skipping most of his classes tomorrow, he just really needed a break from literally everything, at least for a few hours.
Jared sighs, finally actually beginning to work. He didn't trust himself to get anything right considering how tired he was, but he was gonna try anyways. At least put something in the answer slots, he could fix his answers up another day. Maybe he should just do them a different day? No, his mom would probably be mad.
The next morning, when Jared got to school, he went straight to his spot. He didn't stop to talk to Evan, or play snake on his laptop, or anything at all.
His spot was a room near the back of the school that no adult ever went into, Jared didn't really know what it was meant for. It was pretty much completely empty, it was too big to be a closet and too small for a classroom, maybe an office? But it was in too weird of a spot for that.
It was freezing when he entered, there was no heater so it made sense but it was still uncomfortable. However, there was an outlet. He took out his phone and laptop chargers, plugging them both into the wall and then attaching his electronics.
The bell rang, he flinched but he didn't move from his place on the floor. He slumped back against the wall, he was shivering slightly. If only there were enough plugs to charge his earbuds too.
He heard the doorknob twist, his head moving up, his attention now fixated on the door. Connor Murphy, of all people, stepped inside, he was digging inside his messenger bag for something, grumbling. He didn't notice Jared at first, until he took two small plastic bags out and sat down, that's when he saw him.
His eyes widened the tiniest bit, before he sighed and looked to the side. Jared fidgeted nervously, to be honest? Completely honest? Connor scared him. And what did he do when he was scared of people? Make dumb jokes to try and lighten the mood.
"Yo." Jared greeted simply, trying his best not to waver. Or piss him off, that would also be bad. Right now all Jared was thinking about was the time he threw a printer at his teacher because he didn't get to be line leader. He didn't feel like getting his face smashed in today.
"Kleinman." Connor returned the greeting, not really looking him in the eyes other than a quick glance. He opened the plastic bags, the other inspected the contents, and after about 5 seconds he deduced the bags had leaves and paper.
Ah, so that's why the room smelled like pot half the time.
He adjusted his glasses, briefly trying to think of something to say. Nothing popped into his head that he didn't think would aggravate the taller. Jared simply watched as he pulled a lighter out of his pocket and rolled a blunt, lighting it directly after. As he breathed out the smoke tickled his nose, he wasn't really complaining because it provided at least a minimal amount of warmth to the room and he was pretty sure his hands were beginning to go numb.
He began to drift off in thought, which to be fair he did a lot. Sometimes he thought about his family, his problems, his friends.. well.. friend. Sometimes he'd just think about nothing. Didn't really matter, no one listened to his actual thoughts no matter how much he wanted to share them.
He was snapped out of it by the others voice. "You're shaking." Connor observed, staring at him. Jared blinked, before looking down at his hands. Oh, he was. Not like he was gonna admit it though.
"You need to get your eyes checked, asshole." He snapped back, not aggressively, closer to irritated. Connor exhaled, smoke pouring from his lips. He rolls his eyes, before holding the blunt out to the shorter. "Chill, you look like you need a hit."
"How come you never ask things?" Jared questioned, Connor tilted his head. "Like- it's never "are you shaking?" Or "do you need a hit?" It's like you think you know me better than me." He elaborated.
"Kleinman, do you want me to be completely honest?" Was his response, Jared raised an eyebrow. "I don't think you know a single fuckin' thing about yourself."
"Gee, thanks" Jared scoffed sarcastically, he took the roll anyways of course, I mean who was he to pass up free weed? "I'm just being honest." Connor shrugged.
It fell silent for a few moments, Jared passes back over to Connor, who takes another huff. "You want me to ask questions? Alright, why're you here? Wouldn't expect mr straight A's teachers pet to just skip class for no reason" he leaned a bit closer to him in questioning.
Jared's face scrunched up. "Just because I'm smarter than you doesn't make me a teachers pet! Anyways, needed to chill and charge my laptop." He shrugs, slumping back against the wall.
"Chill from what exactly? School work? That Hansen kid I always see hovering over you?" "My parents."
Connor looks intrigued at that, almost sympathetic, maybe. "Oh.. yeah I get that man, parent's suck."
Jared stares at him. "Aren't you rich?" Connor simply responds with a "That doesn't mean my parents are awesome or anything." Jared bites down on the side of his cheek, hard. "Yeah, at least you don't have to pay your own fucking bills, at least your room isn't constantly infested with bugs, or your kitchen isn't always moldy or-"
He went quiet, clenching his fists.
"Damn dude... I didn't like- wait. Why are you admitting this stuff to me?" Connor actually has a nervous glint in his eyes, huh. "I'm gonna regret it the minute I'm sober." Was Jared's simple answer, and it was definitely accurate.
Connor pulled out a piece of paper, scribbling something on it before handing it to the other. "Here, you can like- call me if it gets bad and stay over at my place for a while or whatever."
That was the first time Jared felt cared about in a long long time. He took the paper, ever so carefully slipping it into his pocket. "How do I know you're not just gonna take that offer back? We're both fucking stoned right now." He observed, Connor stayed dead faced. "Look, I may be an asshole, but I'm not that much of an asshole."