From the flourishing depths of singing roses,
The thorns protruding, a delightful sting,
Too close an embrace will hurt to touch,
Still the choice made is the song they sing,
From the agnosing walls of the fires blaze,
Embers burning and twisting in flare,
Scars left behind once engulfed and ensnared,
Still the comfort of its warmth chosen to share,
Beauty created by the divine in the heavens,
Blessing one in a thousand souls,
Entrancing and alluring all into a snare,
The missing piece inside the heart to become what once was whole
A Poem by Levi Ackerman
This was disastrous. In less than a few hours Levi would be face to face with the man that runs for miles inside his mind all day and night. Rehearsing lines seems easy. You just say them and repeat them on end until eventually saying those exact words aloud come naturally. Then, of course, there are the actual movements that go alongside the words to portray the emotions and feelings, breathing life into the role the actor plays. The disastrous part is that when he offered to help Eren with his lines, he had no idea what that actually entailed. Now that Friday has arrived, he has recently been informed that helping someone rehearse lines means that he must also read lines, only the characters Eren isn't playing, which means most of the entire script!
Curse Levi's lack of knowledge in theatrical arts! What is he to do? How should he read them? Is Eren going to ask him to act as well? Fuck, Levi hopes not! He's not a good actor at all, heck, his voice only has a range of three monotonous notes, there's no way he can express any excitable emotions even if it was to save his life! All this time thinking about sitting across from Eren in the auditorium, alone, with no one else there, just him and Eren... staring face to face, talking to each other as other characters...
Levi is beginning to have severe doubts. Nervous is one thing, this is one step closer to having an official meltdown! Levi never should have offered to rehearse. Part of him thinks his feelings for Eren are too much. Not only do they push him to make out-of-character decisions, but also place him in situations he never dreamed of being in.
'Okay, Ackerman. Just breathe. It's going to be fine!' Levi attempts to give himself the pep talk. He sits alone in his English class, pencil clenched tightly in his hand as he tries listening to whatever bullshit his teacher is spouting and taking notes as best as he can. No matter what he does, his mind continues to drift to his after-school activities spitting out line after line while Eren reads out his part. He shudders.
'I'm doing this for Eren... Doing this for Eren...'
That sentence chants in his mind like a sacred mantra and he tries so incredibly hard to shift his focus back to the task at hand; writing an essay. Levi frowns. As he looks down at his requirements, he begins thinking that procrastinating about the rehearsals is much better than participating in a persuasive argument about climate change.
Sighing in both stress and annoyance, Levi averts his attention elsewhere. His work is certainly not going to keep his mind occupied and running around like a headless chook inside his mind isn't helping the time go faster. The only other thing he can think to do is to whip out his trusty black leather book and bust out some poetry while there's still time. It'll at least give him a chance to think the situation out more clearly and narrow in on how he truly feels about the matter. Is he excited? Yes. He will get to be alone with his crush which is something that has been long overdue. Is he nervous? Thousand times yes. When he's managed to be by himself alongside Eren it always seem to be the times he makes the biggest fool of himself. Whether it's skipping a few words in a rushed slur or sometimes forgetting how to speak. Embarrassing. Is he scared? Well, no. Levi wouldn't say he's scared, yet he does feel as if he's being quite courageous in taking this bold step forward. What else is going through Levi's head beside the screams of distress begging him to pull out?
"Ymir, I told you to knock it off already!"
Levi perks up as the high-pitched whine of Historia makes it's way to his ears. Only a few seats away from him he spots Ymir sliding her hands over Historia's desk space and stealing the workbook the poor girl was working out of. Historia huffs and goes to lunge for it, but Ymir, that sly little bitch, manages to yank it out of Historia's reach.
"Nuh-uh, you're not getting this back yet until you promise me you're not gonna kiss that Jaeger kid."
Ymir's words have Levi frozen. His pencil hovers over the lined pages of his journal and slowly he rests his hand flat on the desk, losing the interest to write. Something much more interesting has caught his eye.
"Ymir, you're well aware that it's part of a play, and that the kiss won't even mean anything!" Historia pouts and stands up from her chair to reach her notebook. Ymir only stands up to meet her, her height trumping Historia's ridiculously. Levi grumbles under his breath knowing damn well even he would struggle to reach the book with how tall Ymir is.
"Won't mean anything or not, I'm not allowing my darling Historia's lips to fall into the hands of that gross idiot," Ymir holds the book way above her head, poor Historia having to jump now to try and reach it.
"He's not a gross idiot," The kind girl sighs and Levi finds himself humming in agreement. He's the total opposite of gross. Mouldy stains in a shower are gross. Eren is like a freshly cleaned pane of glass used with the most exquisite of cleaning supplies. Beautiful and a work of art. Historia finally resigns her attempts in retrieving her book, seating herself back into her chair once more. "I'm sure he's just as hesitant about the kiss as I am, Ymir. Petra isn't going to change the play around just because you don't like how it ends."
"Oh yeah?" Ymir smirks and drops Historia's book back onto the desk with a loud bang. The other students around them all gasp startled before they briefly glance at Ymir. "We'll see about that. No cretin is going to be stealing you away from me!"
"Ymir, your lesbianism is oozing," Connie Springer, another student in the class points their finger at the freckled woman. Ymir glares harshly at the boy before crossing her arms and huffing at the state of the class.
"I'm not letting that kiss happen, Historia. I don't care who I have to fight to make it so."
"For once, Ymir, can you stop being this overprotective mother and just be happy for me?" Historia whines and Ymir takes only a second to consider the option of faking happiness for the golden angel in front of her. Then she smirks and shakes her head.
"I'll cut you a deal. Marry me and maybe then I'll try and be happy."
Levi rolls his eyes as Ymir continues to harrass Historia, poking and prodding the poor girl to try and make her submit to Ymir's plans. Levi has considered having the conversation with Eren of whether he really wants this lead role. Surely there are many other roles he would suit just fine! Heck, he could do a much better job at the energetic old man ,Roy, that Eren so rudely claimed was perfect for Levi. The boy has never seen Levi's acting abilities and somehow he thinks Levi would be perfect taking the second lead role. Levi thinks not, yet Eren might be able to pull it off.
The bell rings signalling for the next class and the raven loner wastes no time in packing up his things to leave. His mind still races with millions of thoughts circling his time alone with Eren later that afternoon. He would love to open up to Eren and tell him how he feels and how this kiss nonsense has got him losing sleep and freaking the fuck out. Another part of him thinks admitting this would come off as desperate. Most of himself agrees that telling Eren he wants him to quit due to the desire for his first kiss is a recipe for tragedy. There's no way Eren would be happy to go along with Levi's intentions. The theatre is his passion after all. Nothing would stop Eren from achieving his dream.
Levi shrugs his backpack over his shoulder and walks out of the classroom doors. He feels a hand grab his shoulder and he doesn't even have a chance to look who it is before he's yanked back into the classroom by none other than Ymir. She glares down at Levi, eyes analysing his defensive attitude when she lets go. Levi runs his eyes over her as well. Unsure why Ymir has decided to literally push Levi back into the room he's trying to escape from.
"Can I help you?" Levi asks none too politely. His question does nothing to change Ymir's expression, stone cold and calculating. The fierce woman raises an eyebrow before clicking her teeth together and suddenly laughing. Not exactly the kind of greeting Levi had expected, but then again he wasn't expecting to be dragged into a classroom today either.
"Damn, sorry buddy, you're gonna have to go looking elsewhere," Ymir cackles wildly. Levi tilts his head, not understanding. Where is Levi looking and what is he looking for? Levi definitely missed something. "There's no way in hell your Historia's type!"
Levi furrows his eyebrows even more confused. When exactly did he give the impression he was after Historia? Sure, the girl is sweet and angelic, he's heard rumours of people comparing her to a literal goddess because of her kind heart. Levi won't lie, the times he's seen her stand up for herself and her spouts of cut-throat attitude towards others have always intrigued him. Like two sides of a coin making the one person, her nice side, and her badass side. It's appealing, but certainly not enough to gain Levi's full and undivided attention. He is very much occupied trying to sort out this business with Eren.
"I think you're mistaken," Levis says rather bluntly, readjusting the shoulder strap of his bag with a fidgeting pull. He's uncomfortable. His next class is going to start soon and he still has to walk halfway across the school to reach the music room. The discomfort only grows when Ymir scoffs. His words don't seem to deter Ymir from her assumption and she crosses her arms rather defiantly.
"I saw you looking at her in class. You can't deny that."
No, Levi can't deny it, nor is he wanting to. "You were being loud, it's only natural I look over to find the source of the noise. Your loudmouth attracts a lot of attention."
"Watch it, small fry," Ymir spits and Levi finds himself stiffening at the insult. The one thing that people always circle back to is his height.
"Is there something you're trying to get at here?" Levi asks, bored. He never signed up for an unnecessary banter with the feisty and overprotective Ymir. The energy he's spending talking to her was meant to be reserved and used for after-school lines with his crush.
"Yeah, stay away from my Historia. I don't know what gives you the right to eavesdrop on our conversation but I'm not letting you lay a finger on her perfect little head. Clear?"
"Crystal," Levi sighs out with a roll of his eyes. "You can have your little goddess all to yourself. It's not you two that I was focused on. Your conversation topic caught my attention."
"The kiss?" Ymir almost laughs at the realisation. "Even more reason for me to think you're in love with my Historia. Seriously, Levi, stay away from her."
"Count on it," Levi assures. "It's not her side I'm concerned about." He mumbles the last part under his breath as he turns to leave. He was certain the words never reached the other, but one step out of the door and he's yanked back into the classroom, door closed behind him. He huffs. Now it's the second time he's been shoved into the same damn room by the same person, and Levi is not at all pleased by this advancement.
"For fuck sake, don't touch me," Levi scowls. Ymir only stares at him in interest, her eyes widening to the size of dinner plates.
"Holy shit!" She gasps. "Eren!"
Levi immediately whips his head around to the classroom windows, eyes searching through the panes to spot the Jaeger brat Ymir has exclaimed out loud. He sees no one.
"No, he's not here, you idiot! I mean, it's Eren you like, right?!"
'Ah, fuck.'
"I don't know what gives you that impression," Levi calmly replies. He's not keen at all on letting Ymir know one of his biggest secrets. Ymir is cunning, very daring, and at times can be incredibly manipulative. That calculating look in her is a warning sign to all that she's scheming some elaborate plan, which in most cases leads to her success and the parties involved are either left with a small sliver of dignity or nothing at all. In short, there's nothing to like about the way Ymir's eyes glaze over and stare at Levi with a light smile.
"You're just as worried about letting Eren's first kiss be on stage, am I right?"
Levi says nothing. Once again his feelings for Eren leave him speechless, rendering him useless to even defend himself against Ymir's logic. He's only ever admitted his feelings for Eren to Isabel and Farlan, and the housemates he lives with.
"It's not a very comforting thought," Levi manages to speak and Ymir sighs with a nod of her head, almost in understanding.
"Historia seems keen on the kiss, and I want that for myself," She admits, and Levi can relate, but is taken aback that it's Ymir of all people he's relating to.
"You two are dating though, so it should be easy for you," Levi comments and Ymir immediately laughs hysterically.
"Oh fuck! I wish that were the case! All my attempts at wooing her come off as a joke so she never thinks I'm being serious! But don't worry, I'm slowly working on it. You know what we need to do, don't you."
"Come again?" Levi has no idea what Ymir is insinuating, and he's a little more than uncertain he wants to find out.
"We can't let their first kiss be wasted! Their scene must never happen. We have to sabotage the play! Tell everyone to go on strike until the scene is either changed or removed from the script entirely!"
"I highly doubt anyone is going to agree with that."
"I'll go talk to Historia and see if I can get her to pull out from the play. You work on Eren. Make sure he doesn't play Lewis! I'm counting on you!"
"Ymir. That's not fair on either of them."
"I leave it up to you. Come find me when you've made progress."
"What?! Hey. Wait you, fucker!"
Just as quickly as he was pulled into this mess he is pushed aside and left alone in the classroom. It takes Levi's mind a few seconds to fully register what it is Ymir is asking of him. Ruin Eren's chances of playing the lead role? That seems incredibly harsh, especially if Eren is perfect for the part! Levi hates that he has to give away his virgin lips and it infuriates Levi to the core that he's kissing not only one but two girls. Mikasa is way too excited to be participating in such a vulgar act. At the very least Historia is thinking rationally about the whole thing. It's just a play, it's not real.
That's what she had said. Many other students have been discussing the end scenes and the lip action. It's frustrating. It feels as if he can't get away from it! At school, the news has spread further than black beard sailed the fucking seven seas! Each direction Levi turns all he can hear is kiss, kiss, kiss! Even at home, he isn't safe, because Hange is peering around every wall with that stupid psychotic grin harassing Levi if he's grown some balls or not to ask Eren out. It's incredibly annoying and he is just about ready to pull out every strand of his hair from the amount of anxiety and pressure he feels from trying to accomplish this shitty goal of getting Eren's kiss. He wishes he could just leave it and forget about it... but that first kiss is so desirable it would be ludicrous to ignore the opportunity. To savour Eren Jaeger's lips in a sweet, tender moment where it's just him and Levi, sharing a moment of pure bliss as they're swept away in the romantic dance of tongues.
The bell goes to signal the start of the next class, and Levi hangs his head low in shame, knowing he has to do something he'll probably regret in order to achieve this fairytale ending he's hellbent on having.
~~°•○●○•°~~
The last class of the day had finally passed, and the swirl of emotions residing inside Levi's chest have escalated beyond what he thought possible. Amongst the array of fluttering butterflies at the idea of spending time with Eren, there's also crippling anxiety that threatens to break him down into a puny little pulp. Being alone with Eren isn't the cause. As much as Levi's feelings have played a part in him becoming practically useless, it has never beaten him down, only stunted his speech capabilities.
It's Ymir. Her damn words are echoing inside his head, and now Levi has to somehow convince Eren to either back out of the play or exchange his lead role for a lesser part.
Levi had a maths class today, and Eren was speaking non-stop about how he's going to show everyone how he's grown by standing in the spotlight. There's no way Levi can take that away from him. That's not going to bring Eren closer, it'll turn Levi into the brat's enemy, which is the last thing Levi ever wants to do.
Students had packed their stationery and filed out of the classroom long before Levi made a move to clear his desk. Even the teacher had been dismissed, leaving behind the mess of a man scraping his pens and pencils back into its case. There was only one other person in the room with him, and that was the boy he would be assisting this evening. Eren, despite all of his friends leaving and urging him to come along, had stayed behind to wait for Levi to pack things up. It is undecided whether Levi is happy about the thoughtfulness or hating it, because that only makes his goal in all this ten times harder. He hasn't had time to prepare, hell, he still is unsure what Eren expects him to do to help.
"I'm really surprised you offered to help rehearse my lines, Levi," Eren tells him once they're on their way to the auditorium. When asked why they were staying on school grounds for rehearsals, Eren had noted it'd be easier without Mikasa hovering over their shoulders and gawking at Eren's acting. Apparently, since the kiss scenes had been revealed Mikasa had one focus only, which had creeped Eren out. Levi doesn't blame him. He, too, would be holding up a cross against the hungry demon that is Mikasa.
"I have nothing better to do. Figured if you needed help without having Mikasa breathing down your neck I'm probably your best bet," Levi shrugs. He leaves out the fact that literally anyone else could have been in Levi's place and how he is just as surprised he raised his hand to assist. Impulse actions are dangerous, Levi is beginning to realise. He is still unsure whether the decision to be alone with Eren is a wise one.
"It's just that, in class you're always so quiet and scary-looking."
"Scary looking?" Levi raises an eyebrow at Eren who chuckles rather shyly and then rephrases his words.
"Like, you seem very unapproachable."
"Because I usually don't like to be approached," Levi remarks.
"Exactly. Your offer to help almost feels like a privilege."
Levi snorts in amusement. A privilege? To be with Levi? Please. Eren fails to realise that privilege is all Levi's. Standing next to such a tall angel, having him all to himself, it's an incredibly intense dream Levi has wanted for a while. Eren shouldn't feel lucky, but Levi has never felt luckier.
The doors to the auditorium open up to the two students and the darkness that greets them is daunting but somewhat comforting. Eren flciks on the lights and immediately gestures for them to sit closer to the stage. Eren explained to Levi that the entire cast has had one script reading where everyone read through their lines to get a feel for the kind of things they would be doing and what they should prepare for. Eren hands Levi an extra script he had stored in his bag. Why the hell Eren had two scripts is beyond Levi, but considering his hype to perform, it wouldn't surprise him if Eren just wanted to be super prepared.
Eren hauls himself up onto the stage and sits on the edge with his legs hanging loosely and Levi joins him, separated only by a meter's distance. Levi flicks through the first few pages of the script, while Eren sorts himself out before he finally asks.
"Eren, what do you need me to do?"
"It's very easy!" Eren says with a bright grin. The more he smiles the more Levi feels his insides turn to mush. "We'll just do a normal script read first, and then we might focus on some parts I struggle with and go from there."
"Script reading... as in I will have to read lines?"
"Yes, that is what script reading means, Levi.'
"Read aloud?"
"How else will I be able to follow along?"
"Oh boy..."
"Come on, Levi, you'll do fine! You might even realise you have a natural talent for this thing!"
"Doubtful," Levi sighs and this only causes Eren to laugh. That's one of the many things Levi likes about Eren. He is very accepting of almost everyone. Unless you look like a horse, you can become Eren's friend in an instant. Levi has never considered himself to be Eren's friend, nor has he ever considered Eren to be his. They've spoken to each other, but not much of a friendship had grown from the few instances and it's always been Levi watching Eren from afar. But, the few times they have interacted, Eren has never taken to heart Levi's bad attitude, and in most instances finds Levi's lack of enthusiasm toward things amusing rather than offensive.
"Alright! Start from page one!"
The reading begins. Eren reads his lines like a pro while Levi does his best to accompany him with the other characters. Eren speaks his lines with such clarity and clear emotions. A few times he stumbled on some words, some he had trouble saying which Levi had helped him pronounce correctly, but other than that, the delivery had been portrayed the way Eren had intended. He read so beautifully that Levi didn't care if Eren mispronounced some words or got stuck. Eren didn't bat an eyelash when everything Levi read out was blunt and lacking of every emotion out there, even putting up with the many comments Levi made about all this being stupid. Eren was gorgeous and everytime he spoke for his lines he would do so with purpose. He cares so much about the role he is playing, how on earth is Levi going to convince him to drop out?
"Lets take five?" Eren suggests and Levi nods in agreement. They managed to read all of scene one, going over a few parts that Eren struggled with, as they had planned, and already Eren's confidence is growing. He is more sure of himself, and Levi can tell with how Eren grins like a maniac to himself as he opens his school bag once more. He pulls out a bottle of water and gulps several long mouthfuls.
Levi feels his throat tighten, eyes focused on Eren's adam apple bobbing up and down. He suddenly feels thirsty and reaches for his own wattle bottle and begins drinking, eyes still trained on Eren. The brunet gasps in satisfaction and Levi glances away quickly before Eren can realise he's being stared at.
"I really appreciate you doing this," Eren says after he places his water away. "You're unexpectedly nice."
"Is that a compliment or should I be offended by that?" Levi asks with a hint of a smirk. Eren snorts and shakes his head before he lies back, laying down on the stage, hands behind his head.
"I only realised this when you began reading the lines for the other roles, but I don't really know much about you."
"It's not like you've shown any interest in getting to know me," Levi shrugs. He plays it off nonchalantly. It's never bothered Levi before that Eren has made no attempts to understand the real Levi. Eren put it best when he said Levi was unapproachable. If people did want to know Levi better, it would be highly unlikely they would get the chance because Levi has very strict barriers put in place. He prefers it that way unless it's to do with Eren. Then things change remarkably.
"I would like to," Eren says with a sigh, his eyes closing as he relaxes on the stage. "To get to know you. You seem like an interesting character."
"Tch," Levi clicks his tongue together and turns his head away from the boy. It's not a big deal. No one really wants to know Levi because of his edgy demeanour and his foul attitude. The only people who have a high tolerance for his attitude are the ones befriending Levi, and those who have managed to remain friends with him are entirely different species of people. Hange, for example. There is no way that woman is normal, and nothing Levi says could ever offend her simply because she does not care. About anything. Not even about personal boundaries. But Eren... Levi is highly concentrated on trying to keep his face cool as Eren's comment stirred up his body with a burst of warmth.
This is Levi's chance. If he wants to ask Eren on a date, now would be the perfect opportunity, especially since the guy just admitted he wants to know Levi better! What finer way to segway into a lunch date proposal? Levi clears his throat and turns his entire body to where Eren lies. His soft lashes rest perfectly against his face as he breathes in and out in calming breaths, not even trying to allure Levi and yet the way Eren's shirt is gently raised showing off the waistband of his jeans and the top of his underwear is a temptation that only pushes Levi to make his move.
"Well, if you really want to get to know me, there's something we could do," Levi once again tries to lay it all down smoothly. There's a fine art when it comes to asking out one's crush. Can't be too pushy, can't be too desperate, but also can't be too soft. Let the love interest in question know the desire for them. Let them know they are wanted.
When Eren opens his eyes and perks up in interest, Levi feels the nervousness settling in again. The soft smile Eren gives him would be comforting if Levi wasn't so afraid of being rejected by this wonderful man.
"Oh yeah? What's that? If you're offering more script readings I won't say no!"
"Not that," Levi shakes his head and leans all his weight on one arm as he stares Eren down, giving him a once over look as he thinks about his next words. Eren's interest seems piqued as he sits himself up cross-legged, beautiful teal eyes staring into Levi's. There's no one around to take Eren away unexpectedly, or anyone to make Levi feel insignificant or place doubt in his head.
"Eren, would you like to-"
"Levipoo! Are you in here? Aha! I found him!"
Hange's god-damn fucking annoying ass, shit-faced voice echoes into the auditorium. Levi's eye twitches. Eren's attention shifts from Levi to the open auditorium door where Levi's fucking nightmare stands there, glasses shining in the dim light from the stage. Hange is looking like a nice punching bag right about now, and Levi feels this with every fibre of his being as he clenches his fists so hard his knuckles crack.
"What the fuck are you doing here?" Levi pushes himself off of the stage with his bag thrown over his shoulder. He marches down the aisle in quick steps not looking back once toward the boy who remains on stage. "You're not supposed to be on school property!"
"Oh, please, Levi! The science teachers love me here! I basically walked in without so much as a glance my way!" Hange grins "Anyway, you weren't answering Erwin's calls so we got worried about you."
"Since when have you ever cared where I am?" Levi snaps in a hushed voice. "I'm fucking busy."
Hange blinks in confusion at Levi, then slowly she pans her head to the stage, spying Eren who sits over the edge watching from afar. Her eyes widen and then, just as slowly, she crouches down to Levi's level to whisper in his ear.
"Are you on a date with Eren?"
"No, shit face. You ruined my chances of asking him out!"
"Ah," Hange nods in understanding and for a moment, Levi believes she'll turn around and let Levi carry on doing whatever he needs to do with his love interest. That's what he had hoped. But of course, Hange being Hange means that nothing is ever as simple as Levi hopes things to be.
"Hi, Eren! I'm Levi's roommate! Nice to meet ya!"
"Hange!" Levi hisses but the woman ignores him before gripping his arm and pulling him to the exit.
"Sorry to cut your date short, but this little guy has to come with me! Little Levipoo is home late for his little dinner!"
'Are you fucking kidding me? She's treating me like a child!'
Levi has wanted to hurt Hange in the past. Sometimes she's clumsy enough to hurt herself, but this... this has sparked a sudden desire for murder! Just wait until Levi has a minute alone with her. She isn't going to survive this time!
He turns his head to Eren who just sits doing nothing but watching. Is he fucking smiling?
"Wittle Wevi gets very cwanky when he doesn't eat pwoperly, so I'll be taking him home to make sure he's fed and ready to tackle the night! Bye Eren!"
Erens snorts and stands up with a wave. "Bye Hange! See ya later, Levipoo!"
"What?" Levi gasps as he is pulled out of the auditorium by Hange, Eren's voice echoing his farewell only just reaching them as the door slams shut. That, and the sound of laughter which only fuels the desire to bodyslam Hange into the ground and threaten her existence. Whatever possessed her to do that embarrassing display, Levi will make sure it never dares cross her mind again! He feels sick. That was his one chance and Hange fucking ruined it!
He glares hard ahead of him as Hange steers them both to the school gates and nothing is said between them. Levi is so incredibly angry that his entire body is shaking. One word from Hange and Levi's body would move on its own. Choosing to keep quiet is a wise move for Hange.
Levi knew she was insane, but this? Complete and utter humiliation. Above all else, why did she have to call him little? Why did she have to call him Levipoo?