Harry arrives at the cafe watching as the shop is more packed than usual. That's odd. Maybe it's a free coffee day or a free muffin day.
Harry remembers when he first started working here and gave those suggestions. He got the idea from watching 'The Office' and seeing free pretzel day. Seeing how people would line up for free items. It would definitely bring a crowd in, Harry was sure of it. Nobody would listen to him about how popular the shop would become because he was just as they used to call him 'fresh blood.' But then the manager who happened to be one of the frat boys brought it up and they ate up the idea.
Does Harry still resent them? Maybe.
But Harry knew it was his idea and look at him now, having the same frat boy beg for his attention. So, guess you could say, Harry was the true winner in the situation.
Harry sighs, sitting at the corner booth pulling out his phone deciding to scroll through some social media for the first time in a decade. Harry wasn't a huge fan of social media, he always opted to engage in conversation.
Did he have all the apps? Yes, he did but only because Niall begged him and said he needed to be seen as cool for being Harry's only real follower.
Harry was too focused on watching a chocolatier build a shark out of white chocolate that he doesn't even notice someone was sitting with him.
"Oh, sorry."
"Finally. I've been sitting here for five minutes Styles."
Harry chuckles but soon catches Zayn's disapproving nod from the corner of his eyes and he instantly shuts his lips.
"Sorry. I lost track of time."
"Can we get started? I'd rather not be here the entire night."
Harry nods being too afraid to say the wrong thing. He just has to get through the session and then he can go back to thinking about Louis.
Just one session Harry, it can't be so bad right?
And Harry was right.
Harry watches as Zayn fires through all the questions like they were muscle memory.
"You're good at this. I think you're ready."
"You think?"
"You haven't gotten a single question wrong for fifteen minutes. I think you're solid."
Harry notices Zayn's eyes light up and there it was. That spark inside Harry. The feeling that he wanted to have. The feeling of making someone happy and successful.
"Zayn, I guarantee you'll pass tomorrow and if you don't, then I will personally take the blame."
"I sure wasn't."
Harry laughs and notices how Zayn seems to be trying his hardest not to smile but he also looks a bit troubled.
"Are you okay? You look a bit confused. Is it the questions? We can work a bit more on certain topics if you don't feel completely sure."
"I have to ask you something."
"Okay."
"What's your intention?"
"With English? Well, I decided to become an English major when-"
"Not that. With Louis."
"Oh."
"Oh? That's all you have?"
"No. Sorry. You caught me a little off guard there. Why do you ask?"
"I don't know if Louis's mentioned it yet but we're best mates. Literally. We live together and he works for me. I would do anything for him and I know he would do the same. I'm asking as his lifelong mate, what are your intentions?"
And Harry doesn't know when Zayn got so close to him but he feels like the oxygen got ripped right out of him.
"Uh. I like him. I really do."
"You like him? That's not good enough Styles. I need to know you're not going to break him. He's really taken by you. It's all he ever talks about nowadays. I see the way his eyes light up when he sees you. I notice the way his breath hitches in his throat when you say something. I notice the way he admires you from across the room as if you're a foreign piece of art. But, I've seen him get hurt way too many times. He doesn't deserve that you know? He's a good lad. I can't see him get hurt again. Because I'm sure this one will end him."
Harry doesn't know how to respond. Because what was he supposed to say? He loved Louis, he knew that. But could he tell Zayn? They weren't even friends. But, would it be the worst thing if he knew?
"I-uh-look. I really like him. A lot. Wait-hold on. How do you know I'm into boys?"
"You can't be serious right? Look at you. Anybody would be stupid to think you're straight. It's crazy obvious. The way you look at Louis. The way you carry yourself. I knew from the moment I saw you walk on campus."
"Wow."
"Are you really that shocked? Did you want a proper coming out? Did I ruin the moment? Was there supposed to be song or confetti?"
"What? No. I'm actually not out yet."
"That's a problem."
"I know but-"
"I'm not one to say anything. It's not my business. But I ask one thing from you, treat him right. The way he deserves. I always said, from the moment I met Louis, he deserves the world."
"I will. I don't want to hurt him. I think I love him."
"You're a good kid Styles. But I will murder you if you hurt him. Deal?"
And Harry doesn't need to ask if he's serious because the look in Zayn's eyes tells him everything.
"Should we get back to the book?"
Harry teaches Zayn about proper grammar punctuation, the usage of verbs and nouns, and how to tell the meaning behind a story by a couple of context clues. And by the end of the session, Harry notices the smile on Zayn's face.
"Happy?"
"Happy? I'm ecstatic. You make it look so easy. I don't hate school you know? I just- I feel like I need a little bit of help sometimes. But, I don't particularly like to ask for help."
"It's not a bad thing you know? Everyone needs help once in a while. I used to require a lot of help when I was younger. I wasn't always as smart as you think. Don't be afraid to ask."
"Who knew the most popular kid in school wasn't a snob."
Harry chuckles finally being comfortable enough to call him and Zayn friends.
"Thanks, Harry. I really appreciate the help. I don't think I'll need your service anymore but I do thank you for volunteering to help me. I know I can be a little straightforward and as what people like to call mean. But-"
"I know Zayn. You don't need to explain anything. If you do ever need any help in the future, with any subject, don't hesitate to reach out. You know where to find me."
"Yeah. Down Louis's throat."
Harry tries to hold back his laugh but can't help it when Zayn is staring him down like a judgemental dad.
"Okay, fine. Yes, down Louis's throat."
"Please be good to him."
"I would never hurt him. Get home safely okay?"
"You too Harry. Thank you again. I'll tell you how I did on my quiz."
Harry waves as Zayn leaves the cafe more excited than when he got here. And Harry goes up to the counter expecting to just be able to order a coffee and wait for the blue eyed boy to show up but Niall had other plans.
"H!!! What the fuck was that? You were with Zayn? Scary Zayn?"
"That's not nice Ni. He's not scary by any means."
"You looked like you were going to shit your pants a couple of times."
"That. That is irrelevant."
"Why was he sitting with you? What were you two talking about? Was it a date? Did you move on? Kind of a low blow going for his best mate. But I won't judge."
"What? No. What are you going on about? I was his tutor. He needed some help with English and I volunteered to help. It's really nothing serious."
"Oh. Well, your lover boy thought otherwise."
And Harry feels like his head was going to fly off at that statement.
"Wait. What?"
"Louis? He came in about an hour and a half ago. He looked excited to see you. Even brought a rose but when I pointed you out, he threw the rose in the trash and left."
And Harry feels his heart drop into his chest. No, Louis couldn't possibly think that right? All Harry had to do was explain. It was a simple misunderstanding.
"It's okay. I'll explain it to him. It was a tutoring session and nothing more. Can I get my coffee please?"
"I'm just saying H. It didn't look like a tutoring session from my view."
"There were textbooks on the table, what other proof is needed? Why am I even explaining this to you? I don't need to prove anything."
"You're getting quite defensive over a tutoring session."
"You know what? Forget the coffee. I'll see you at home."
Harry walks off into the night, annoyed at his roommate. Why was he asking so many questions? Why did he care? It was a session. That was all. Why did it matter? Harry didn't owe an explanation. He knows what he was doing. All he had to do now was text Louis to make sure they were on the same page.
Louis would understand.
He always does.
Harry arrives at the dorm, sending Louis a message explaining what happened today and hoping they could talk while Harry did some homework.
But, that was almost forty minutes ago.
Harry tried to focus on his assignments but he couldn't get the nagging feeling out of his head.
What if Louis didn't understand? What if Louis believed the crazy theory like Niall? Louis couldn't really think Harry was into Zayn right?
But, the moment Harry opens his phone, his heart is sent right to the floor.
Read.
Harry types up another message because maybe Louis read it but forgot to answer him. Yeah, that had to be it. And Harry stares at his screen for what feels like hours.
And there it was again.
Read.
And Harry can feel his stomach turn but not with anticipation. With fear. So, Harry does the only logical thing he can think of at this moment, call Louis. He hears it ring and ring and ring until the voicemail comes up. So, he tries again. But, this time it's straight to voicemail.
It can't be, right? There's no way Louis is ignoring him. Why would he? Harry didn't do anything wrong. He explained that to Louis.
Okay, Harry just had to let him cool off. Maybe he was still upset about what he saw. He knew the truth. Harry just had to give him some space. Yeah, space. That would fix everything.
At least Harry hoped.
Harry stares at his computer screen feeling like he's been reading the same sentence over ten times already.
"God, Harry pull it together," Harry whispers to himself as he decides to get up and stretch.
But, as much as Harry tried to focus on the assignment staring at him or the little speckles of chipped paint on the wall.
His mind would fly back to the blue eyed boy that was clearly ignoring him. The blue eyed boy that made Harry's heart skip three beats. The blue eyed boy that Harry wanted to keep forever.
Harry shuts his laptop in frustration because he was just wasting time. He wasn't getting anything done and frankly, he was starting to lose his mind. Harry looks over at his phone, hoping and praying for some sort of reply but it was empty.
Not a single notification was in sight.
At least not from the person he wants it to be from.
Harry sighs, giving up, and decides that a good night's sleep will help him forget about this. He gets in bed, deciding that turning his phone on airplane mode will relax him a little more. He would be able to see Louis the next morning and have a proper conversation.
Things would be better.
Things would be back to the way they used to be.
Things would be happy.
But, Harry can't help but wonder what if things don't get better?
What if things stay like this?
What if Harry lost Louis in this process?
And Harry tosses and turns the entire night with the question of what if in his mind.
The question of losing someone you never had in the first place.
The question of being heartbroken when there wasn't a real love, to begin with.
The question of being so dependent on someone that wasn't ever truly yours.