One hundred-five
We enjoy the delicious dinner Jacob prepared. He had informed us earlier that it is actually a going away dinner for us and told us how much we will be missed. We will miss him as well.
We repeatedly compliment Jacob on his cooking. Southern cooking is something neither of us have ever been able to quite master, even though I was born and raised here. Jacob tells us he learned everything he knows about cooking from his mother, and since he's hasn't had anyone but himself to cook for since she died, he's had plenty of time to practice. He is happy to see us enjoying it so much.
We dine on breaded catfish, garlic potatoes, green beans flavored with bits of ham, and cornbread. Dessert is pecan pie and bread pudding. I can't help smiling as I watch my husband mentally taking notes of how everything is prepared, and I am sure he will be asking Jacob for his recipes before the night ends.
"I can't believe you've never been married," Andrea says, taking another bite of the fish. "You would make some lucky woman very happy."
Jacob smiles, his expression thoughtful. "I came close to being married once, but . . . it didn't work out. It turned out that we were more different than I'd realized, and we didn't want the same things–like me wanting to get married and her not wanting to be tied down."
"Well," Andrea says, "she didn't know how good she had it."
"Thank you," he says, smiling shyly.
"Have you lived here all your life?" I ask.
"No. My mother and I moved here when I was eight."
"Where did you move from?" Adagio asked.
"Charlotte."
"Really? I lived in Charlotte when I was young, too. I have never been back."
"I. haven't, either. I've heard it has grown a lot though."
"I'm sure it has. Of course, I thought Charlotte was big when I was young."
Jacob chuckles. "Everything seems bigger at that age."
"This is true" I say, grinning. "What made your mother decide to move here?"
"Well, actually, she never would tell me. I mean, many years later she did, but during the time it was happening, she just said she wanted to start out fresh somewhere else. So she moved us here."
"She must have been going through a rough time," Adagio says, spooning more potatoes onto his plate.
"She was. And I learned just how rough when she finally told me the real reason we left." Jacob pauses, again becoming thoughtful. "She found out that the man who fathered me was married and had a kid a little older than me. Mama knew someone who knew him and his wife. The person told her he was abusive. It was all a major shock. For years after that, Mama tried to move on in her life and forget about him, but she couldn't. Finally she decided she couldn't stay there any longer."
I shake my head sadly. "So you've never had any contact with him?"
"Naw," he drawls. "I never felt the desire to see him. Pretty sad, huh?"
"Yes, but it's also understandable. He was never a part of your life. You can't miss something you never had."
"I met him once before we moved. Even after seeing me, he didn't want anything to do with me. I guess that kind of stuck with me."
I nod, understanding. "It's sad how much we hurt others with our choices, especially when it comes to our children." Adagio takes my hand, squeezing it gently and I smile, knowing he is remembering just as I am. The years of sexual abuse I suffered at the hand of my father will never truly be forgotten, but I made my peace with him a long time ago.
"You know," Jacob continues, "his wife eventually died of a heart attack after years of alcoholism. He tried contacting Mama after that, but she would have nothing to do with him because it would've hurt too much to start things up with him again. Then years ago Mama heard he had died. I can't remember if it was from cancer or AIDS. I just remember mama crying." He shrugs his shoulders. "That's the way things go sometimes."
As he moves to another topic of conversation, for some reason my mind echoes over again the last thing he said. "I can't remember if it was from cancer or AIDS."And the wife was an alcoholic and died of a heart attack?
I lightly touch a hand to my hammering heart. I feel the squeeze of Adagio's hand and turn to find his expression mirroring mine. I chuckle inwardly. You've got to be kidding me!
It is Adagio who finally asks, "Jacob, do you by chance remember your father's name?" My grip on his hand tightens in anticipation of his answer.
"Yeah. His name was Alton Matthews."
We stare at him in silence. Only after the words have been spoken do I see it. Jacob has my father's eyes, and his smile. I can't believe I didn't see it before!
"Cisely, Adagio," Andrea says, breaking the silence, "are you all right?" She glances over at Jacob, who also looks concerned.
I am suddenly so emotional, I can't speak. I press a hand to my mouth and the tears come. Adagio puts an arm around me, holding me close.
"It is all right, amore," he whispers. Raising his teary eyes to Jacob, he says, "Forgive us. My wife felt that we needed to come back to North Carolina for some reason, but this is something we never saw coming." He chuckles emotionally. "You see, except for a couple of relatives, we thought all of Cisely's family had passed on, and now . . . we find out that you two have the same father."
I look at Jacob, and I can tell it is taking a few seconds for his mind to process what Adagio just said. Then I watch his brown eyes grow large and teary. He looks over at me, his expression turning melancholy.
"So, you're the sister I never got the chance to know."
I swallow hard, tears falling down my face. "Not until now." With that, the two of us stand and move into each other's embrace. We hold onto one another and cry.
Over Jacob's shoulder, I watch Adagio and Andrea look at each other and smile, tears streaking their faces as well. I finally move back a little, pressing a hand to my brother's face. "This is a most unexpected blessing."
"For me too," he says, squeezing my hand.
* * *
We stay with Jacob until late, talking and sharing our lives. I can't believe I actually have a brother! When I was a child, I wished for a sibling, then as I got older, I figured it had been for the best because of what the child would have been subjected to had it been a girl. And now to find out after all this time that I have a brother is more wonderful than I can possibly say. I know without a doubt, my prompting to come back to North Carolina was to bring our family together.
* * *
As Andrea listens to Adagio sharing how he and Cisely came to be together, she is amazed. They are two of the best people she has ever had the privilege of knowing.
"Yours sounds like a marriage made in heaven," Jacob says, taking of sip of hot chocolate.
Adagio looks into Cisely's eyes, pressing a kiss to her hand. "It is."
Jacob watches the two and smiles, a hint of sadness filling him. If things had gone the way he'd wanted in his life, he would be married with grown children of his own.
"Are you all right?" Cisely asks, covering his hand with hers.
"I'm fine. I just can't help wishing things would have worked out differently for me. I mean, don't get me wrong. I've had a good life. But it would have been nice to have a wife and kids."
Cisely squeezes his hand. "But as you said, you have lived a good life. You have accomplished a lot."
"I know," Jacob says with a smile. "I still can't help thinking about Brenda. She was a beautiful woman. I saw her a few times right after we broke up. After that, it was as if she'd disappeared from off the face of the earth. Sometimes I wonder how things would be now if she had married me." He chuckles. "I don't know, maybe we would have driven each other so crazy, our marriage would have fallen apart anyway. I was seventeen years older than she was. If we had gotten married, she would still be young while I'm now an old man."
"Hey," Cisely says, "I'm only a few years older than you. You're as old as you feel."
"Yes ma'am," Jacob says humbly and Adagio chuckles. "I won't make that mistake–"
"My mother's name was Brenda," Andrea interrupts softly. She looks at Jacob intently. "Brenda Anderson."
Jacob's expression changes, becoming unreadable. Except for Cisely's soft gasp and Adagio's whispered, "Mama mia!" there is silence.
"Andrea," Cisely finally says, "tell Jacob what you know about your parents."
* * *
Lifting a shaky hand, Andrea pushes her hair back from her face, then takes a deep breath, trying to steady her emotions. "Well, I only know what my grandmother told me. And she basically repeated what my mother told her, which was that my father left her pregnant and didn't want anything to do with me. That was a joke in itself considering she dumped me off on my grandmother and took off to pursue her own dreams." She pauses, looking down at her shaking hands. "My grandmother told me she didn't really believe my mother and there had to be more to it, but I figured it was all true. I mean, why would she lie?"
Jacob closes his eyes and sighs, completely overwhelmed by the knowledge that lay before him. All this time, all these many years, he's had a daughter. He's lived in the same town with her for almost twenty years and had no clue. He opens his eyes, focusing his gaze on Andrea.
"Brenda told me she didn't want me, but she never told me she was pregnant."
"Well," Andrea says, looking at him tearfully, "she was such an unhappy person, maybe she wanted us to be unhappy too. Or, maybe she was so wrapped up in herself, she just didn't care."
"Maybe," he agrees, looking at her as if he is seeing her for the first time. He now recognizes Brenda's smile. And taking in her skin coloring, he has no doubt she is his daughter. He takes her hand, watching the tears spill down her cheeks. "Now that you know the truth, how do you feel about everything?"
Andrea smiles, moving into his open arms, and soaks in his embrace. Drawing back a little, she looks into his eyes, wiping at the tears trailing down his face. "Having had the opportunity to know you, I don't think I can ask for a better father." Hugging him again, she suddenly laughs. "This is incredible!"
Adagio and Cisely dry their own tears.
"This whole day has been amazing," Cisely says. "We've discovered I have a brother and a niece! What a wonderful way to end a long vacation."
Adagio smiles at his wife, suddenly needing to be alone with her. "Jacob, would you mind giving your daughter a ride home?"
Jacob grins back, still reeling that Andrea is really is his daughter. "I don't mind at all."
Adagio and Cisely thank him again for dinner and the four share firm embraces, marveling at how wonderful the day has been for them all.
* * *
Adagio leans back against the pillows with me securely wrapped in his arms. To say the day has been a fulfilling one is an understatement. It is as if every event in my life has led me to this night, and everything has been laid out in the open before me.
"Oh, amore," Adagio whispers into my hair. "How fortunate I feel to be a part of something so incredible!"
I nod tearfully. "It's still so hard to believe. When I think of all the times I longed for a sibling as a child, it boggles my mind that . . . oh, if I had only known . . ."
He presses a gentle hand to my face. "All I can think is better late than never."
"True," I agree with a smile. "Thank you for sharing this experience with me," I say, pulling his head down to kiss him.
He smiles against my mouth. "By your side is the only place I will ever want to be."