****
A few days later
I have decided I want to continue my education, I'm going to do online fashion classes to be able to open my own brand one day. Cause also everyday being at home, not really doing anything is boring.
I haven't told Jimin yet tho, I'm scared he might think it's stupid.
I grab my laptop and search for a good online school. There are a few I'm interested in, but one catches my eyes.
"A fashion school that will first learn you all the basics about drawing your designes, colouring and layering. Then we let you make your own clothes and designes, we will help you with our love until you are able to do it yourself."
Is the description on there website, and the reviews are all positive and tell me to try it out.
It doesn't cost a lot, not that that would matter.
I think I want to tell Jimin before signing up....
But how and when?
I kinda wanna start already, but Jimin is now still at work, he will probably get home around 7 PM. So over 4 hours...
I don't think I can wait that long, I have never been very patient with thing. Every time I wanted to do something I just did it, it was not like my father really cared. He was always busy working, if I ask him he just says "sure." Or something like that. But if I know he wouldn't allow it I wouldn't ask, it's not like he had ever notice me not being home.
If something was really dangerous the maids would stop me, they kinda took care of me and raised me when my father didn't.
Even tho I don't think I ever did something that was really stupid or dangerous it was nice to know if it was really a bad idea the maids would care, something my father never did. Or showed me.
I make my way downstairs and make myself a lunch, a salad with a boring class of water. Sitting at the table alone makes me remember how me and my father used to eat together, it always felt like your alone even tho he was there. I haven't heard anything from my father since the wedding, from the maids I have gotten often texts if everything okay is with me and how things are going between me and Jimin.
I grab my phone from my pocket and play a YouTube video that doesn't really interest me, but I need some sounds. When I'm all done with my lunch I go to take a shower and wait for Jimin to return from his work.
****
The door opens and Jimin comes in. I run to him being quite excited to tell him about the fashion thing. He looks happy to see me running towards him with a big smile on my face. Jimin looks kinda tired but never to tired to let me down.
"What are you so excited about?" He says with a big smile while putting his jacked away.
"Jimin, I have found a really good online school over fashion. It's one of my biggest dreams to own a new brand or something.
Can I please sign up!!"
I say jumping up and down like a little kid excited with a big smile.
Jimin laughs at me while coming closer.
I can feel my cheeks getting more red by his action.
"Sure, but I wanna see what school."
He says while a smile grows on his face.
Jimin takes my hand and drags me to the living room.
We sit down on the couch and I place my laptop on the coffee table so I can show him the school. Jimin looks happy for me,
with a sweet smile that makes me feel some kind of butterflies in my stomach.
The butterflies are probably cause I'm just excited for the fashion school. Right...?
Yeah I'm pretty sure.
I sign up and it starts in a week so I have to wait a bit, but I can use this time to buy the stuff I need and maybe create a little working place with Jimin.
Me and Jimin discuss it for a bit and because Jimin has his own little office for his work I can also have one, there are still plenty empty rooms in the house.
Cause it's already late and we are both not in the mood to cook we decide to go out. And also to celebrate that I got into the fashion school.
We both get ready.
(This is what we are wearing)
We decide to go to a fancy restaurant, so we also need to dress up fancy for it.
I actually like to do that cause else I also wouldn't have many opportunities to dress up like this.... Maybe I also like it cause I can see how Jimin looks in a expensive/ fancy outfit. I think he really looks good.
In the car the ride was silent, I don't think I have ever felt awkward with Jimin but it's just hard to be 'friends' while we are married.
But Jimin is a good person, not only good but also handsome. His eyes are dreamy, his smile is sweet, his body is perfect and his mind is a big mystery to me.
When we arrive at the restaurant, we immediately get a table with a window view of the busy, late evening in Seoul.
The sky is beautifully dark without any clouds, the streetlights light up only the places directly under it on the ground. Cars are riding everywhere, with a few taxi here and there. Parked cars on the side of the street and people walking everywhere to get to there location. Some are dressed fancy, for a dinner date or maybe even a party. Some are dressed in easy simple clothes, like in sweat pants and a hoodie. I love to look at the people outside, looking at what there wearing and thinking by myself how I would style them and the clothing pieces that their wearing.
I look outside to see everything that's happening, I am completely in love the view I'm getting.
I can feel Jimin's eyes on my and then move away. I look over at him and now he's the one staring out for the window, admiring the beautiful view.
"It's a beautiful night, isn't it?" He speaks, with a deeper voice then usual. I nod my head "Yeah, it definitely is." We look at each other, make eye contact and look away again quickly.
We hear footsteps coming our way and we both look over to see a waitress holing the menus and a little notebook and a pen in her hand.
"Hello, here are our menus. Can I get you something to drink already?" She says giving us the menus and holding her pen in front of the notebook.
"Yes I would like to get a coke please."
Says Jimin.
"For me a 7up please."
I say.
The waitress writes it down on her notebook and leaves.
"7up huh? Hobi would kill you, he's a big sprite fan." He says chuckling, covering his mouth with his hand a bit.
"I think sprite is the gross version of 7up." I say
With a braver tone in my voice.
"Wait.... Don't tell me you actually think they taste different?!" He says in disbelief opening his eyes wider.
"Yes of course there different, 7up is amazing and sprite is gross. You really think they taste the same?!"
I say in more disbelief, looking at him in his eyes smiling.
Then the waitress comes with our drinks and Jimin asks her opinion. In disbelief he hears that she also thinks that there different and that 7up is better. When she walks away again I do a not needed hair flip. Just to make Jimin clear that I'm right.
Arguing about it more we start to kinda joke about it. It's a funny conversation about something simple. After a while Jimin gives up and looks down at the menu, flipping the pages. I do the same, looking for a dish that I may like.
The waitress comes back and asks what we would like to order.
Jimin orders the kimchi Jjigea and I order sushi.
When we get our meals we are both every hungry and we immediately start to eat.
"Don't eat to fast." Says Jimin looking at me with a smile.
"But I'm so hungry." I say laughing, putting down my chopsticks for a second.
"So what actually got you into fashion?"
Asks Jimin continue eating.
"I don't know... back alone at my fathers house there was not much to do for me so I just started to shop a lot and look for cute unique outfits. But sadly my father didn't allow me to wear most outfits, cause they were 'too baggy' or 'not the style he liked' or sometimes 'not too girly'. And when I was done doing my homework and stuff I began to draw outfit ideas I had. I guess it all started when I was young. My mother was really good in her clothing choices. She was always dressed lovely."
I say with Jimin listening carefully, when I start to talk about my mother my eyes get teary. I can flashbacks at how the funeral went and how cold my father was to me after. How he basically stopped raising me.
"That's wonderful, Y/N I can see you have a amazing taste in fashion. Your outfits are always fun and cute, I really think this fashion this is good for you." He says with a tone in his voice that makes it sound to true, like he really cares?
It makes my cheeks get a bit red, noticing how I'm blushing to his comment I put my head down a bit. Covering my face with my hair.
I slowly pick up my chopsticks again and begin to eat my sushi in silent, while still smiling.
After dinner in the car we talk about how crazy it was our first time going out to eat. With the fire. Lucky I didn't get a trauma because of it but Jimin did feel a bit worried.
It just happened so fast, I can't even remember it clearly anymore.
When we get home we both go to bed. In my room I'm staring at my ceiling, thinking about Jimin's comment.
He was just being nice I guess.
I don't know what to believe...
My feelings for Jimin or myself that I don't want to love him....
I don't wat to be in love with him cause that would mean my father was right maybe, he always thought that I was to soft. Letting people get to me to easily. Being to trustworthy to people.
My father was right maybe....
I close my eyes and turn my head to the side, getting followed by my whole body. My hair caresses the pillow and my big oversized shirt wraps a bit tighter to my body.
My head feels empty but also overwhelmed at the same time. I don't know what to do.