*crank*
A loud sound rang through my ears as i flinched and woke up still feeling the pain on my back i got up getting out of my bed and making my way to upstairs.
As i reached the living room from the basement i saw the whole place was a mess, the glass coffee table which was in the centre of the small room was now shattered into pieces by the small flower vase that was kept on it.
Dad.
As i moved towards the kitchen in search of him. There he was sitting by the countertops with a glass bottle in his hand. I stared at him in horror. Just one question was there roaming in my mind.
Why....
He looked at me and then took a sip then spoke with his slippery voice. "Anna.... You are still crying! Didn't i told you already i don't like to see you cry!!" He said and i didn't even realized what he meant by that until i touched my cheek and felt my tears already betraying me.
I wiped them up all and got near him. "Dad that's enough! You are literally so drunk in this early morning! Stop it please!" I said while trying to snatch the bottle from his grip but he just jerked me off and stood up.
"Bullshit! You- don't get to tell me...what i do- *hiccup* you just know how to cry and cry and just cry! You are just like your bloody mother! Just pathetic! *Hiccup*" he spat his venomous words at me and it hurted me more than anything. I still tried to not breakdown.
"Dad... Why? Why did you drank again? You promised me last week that you will never drink again and it was going fine but what happened now? Why dad why!?" I asked him being done with his personality disorders.
*Slap*
I fell on the ground as his belt hit my upper arm. "Dad....stop..." I tried making up words but he again hit me and i just couldn't do anything other that curling up myself in a ball and waiting for him to stop by himself. I suppressed my every groan because i will not give him the satisfaction to adress me as he said pathetic.
After several minutes passed he finally walked away from the kitchen and out the house slamming the door hard leaving me all by myself and the mess he made. I took deep breaths and recalled the last moment with my mom.
-"you are my strong daughter . You will never let me down right." My mom said while taking deep breaths. She took my small hands in hers as i spoke with my trembling voice.
"Mom you will not leave m-me right?" I asked with desperation in my voice. She gave me a sad smile wiping my tears that were uncontrollably falling and said.
" no my dear. I will always be with you. Watching you from heaven with god hm?"
I let out a soft cry again and asked her.
" But why can't you stay here with me why do you have to go to god?" She chuckled sadly as she placed a kiss on my hand.
"You know my dear.... Sometimes God loves a person so much that he thinks that they would be better in heaven with him than at Earth." Said my dad as he came behind me and kissed my head.
"And i am lucky that God chose me to be with him aren't I'm?" She said trying to cheer me up. But failed horribly.
"Anyways let's go hm? Let's leave mom for a while so she can rest?" My dad asked trying to break the silence as he took my hands trying to take me with him out the door.
"Mom. Dad please let me be with mom for some more time? Please...." I said trying not to cry anymore but i just can't.
"Come here..Anna.." my mom said and i swiftly sat beside her bed on the stool close to her. She cupped my face than kissed my forehead and then took my hands in her and asked.
"Promise me you will not cry after i leave with god." I widened my eyes as i stared at her .
"Mom- you aren't going anywhere! I will not let you!!-" she cut me off as her monitor started beeping suddenly. I glanced at the monitor in horror as my father tried taking me away.
"Anna! Pr-promise me.... You will only smile when you remember me! I don't want to be the reason you ever cry or be-" she started breathing heavily as the doctors came beside me and started saying some statement to the nurse , while dad trying to take me out. But i just focused on what she was trying to say....
"Promise me ..... Yo-you will always remember me in good memories only......promise me Anna....." I cried out loudly but managed to spoke out my words...
"I promise you mom..." And just like that everything became silent. The sound of beeping turned into a single *teee* sound...... The doctor and the nurses just stood their with their heads down . And my dad.... He was on the wall leaning while hiding his face in his hands..... silently .
I looked at my mom . She was still. Eyes half closed as i looked at her and caressed her face. A tear dropped by her cheeks. I wiped my tears and hid in her arm.
"I love you mom.." i muffled out as i said those words but as soon as I got up from near her and looked around the room everything started spinning. My head. The room. The ground. My eyeballs too. And then i couldn't breathe properly . Suddenly everything went black .
I got up trying my best to not cause myself any pain but it did felt not because of the belt hits.
Because of his words .
That really stung in my heart deep.
And have cause real damage.
That can't be ever heal.
As i took the support of the countertop i slowly walked towards the bathroom. And got near the shower as i slowly removed all my clothing and looked myself in the mirror.
Disgust.
That was the one word that popped up in my head when i looked at my body....
I had an indeed beautiful body.....but now it was all just skins and bones with some ugly scars...
There was a big scar near my upper arm..... There were scars near my shoulder.
One scar that was my biggest scar i have ever gotten was near my belly button. When my father pushed me to the sharp edge of the stairs... It did cause me to spend 2 nights in the hospital...... And my father? He didn't even remembered he did that.
Chuckling to myself as i got into the shower slowly and turned on the cold water to run down my wounds. It burned. I just stood there for i don't know how long until finally i decided to clean myself properly. So i took the body wash , shampoo and washed myself thoroughly.
I wore one of my old tshirt that was a little lose but who cares it will hurt less with it having so much extra space for my scars and new wounds.
With that i just wore some sweats tied my hair up in a bun and walked towards the living room to clean the mess....
After cleaning i sat on my bed and looked at the time.
3:40.p.m.
I sighed as i remembered i had an assignment on pending. So i took my laptop and tried turning it on......shit.....i groaned as it was not working properly...... I felt frustrated so i threw it in my bagpack and then walked out the house to get it repaired.... And i also felt hungry so.....
After leaving my laptop at the shop i walked towards the closest cafe to eat something...cheap? I didn't had much money with me so that was the only option.
I placed my hands in my sweatpants pocket as i walked in the cafe and suddenly someone came straight bumping into my shoulder which caused a little burn on my chest...... I looked at my tshirt and saw there was a big coffee stain.
Oh that's why I was feeling the burn.
I looked at the person infront of me and saw him cursing himself? He took out his handkerchief from his jeans and started wiping away the coffee stain... While constantly repeating sorry-sorry.
"I am really sorry . I wasn't in my right mind and just happened to bump into you.... Please i am really sorry.-" he stopped as he saw me staring into his soul.
"Hey?.....you okay?....." He said as he just tried to snap me back out of my staring to the world..
Looking at his dark brown eyes that looked so deep almost reminded me of my mom..... She also had brown eyes..... I had blue eyes from my father.....
He nudged my arm softly and a groan escaped my mouth as i felt a stinging pain as his hand came on contact with my wound.
He looked at me with an expression i couldn't describe but the suddenly he pulled me to one of the tables inside the cafe and sat me on one of the as he settled infront of me....
"Listen.... I am sorry to stain your tshirt.. are you okay tho?" He asked and i just still can't get words out my mouth...
"Not to offend you or anything but are you deaf or mute? Hm?" He asked after noticing my silence and i smiled slowly.
"No- i mean i am not deaf or mute....i was just thinking something......" I replied.
He nodded but still looked at me like he wanted me to say something more than i realized.
"And about your....." He pointed at my tshirt.
"Oh- yeah no problem i am totally fine.... It's much better than what I got this morning..."
I mumbled the last part and i guess hopefully he didn't heard me because he just frowned.
"I- sorry it was my fault... But i can make it up for you!" He said cheerfully and now only i did noticed that this guy right here was wearing a grey tshirt with a green flannel on top of it.... a blue washed jeans and i didn't got to see his shoes..
Surely will observe them once he walk out of here.
"Excuse me... Rachel" he called someone and suddenly a girl came infront of us with a perfect smile on her face .......she looked probably a teen around 17 something .
"Hello good evening! How may I help you!" She greeted as politely and the guy infront me just chuckled .
"Rachel i told ya just don't get formal with me.. btw can i get some chicken wings with a Greek salad." He said to the girl- Rachel.
"Yeah sure! And what would you like to have gorgeous?" She asked and i looked at her astonished.....
Me? Gorgeous? Like for real?
I pointed a finger at myself and she nodded with a smile. As i was about to speak the guy spoke.
"Um- if you don't mind can you please just try what i have ordered for you? I promise it will be the best chicken wings you have ever ate!" The said with a nervousness in his voice.
I looked at my phone..... It was already 4:25p.m and i had to pick up my laptop from the shop and reach home by 6p.m otherwise.......
I brushed off my thoughts.
"Yeah sure.... You don't really have to but..... I guess......" I said awkwardly.
"Okay! So anything in drinks?" Rachel asked and he looked at me like permission to order for me too and i nodded so he did.
"We'll have an Espresso and a macha latte. That's all thanks" he said and Rachel clapped her hands together .
"Thanks for the order ! It will be ready in 15mins! Call me of you need anything else okay jack and and my beautiful lady!" She said and winked at me i just shut my head down while a smile crept on my face.
" So........ I know it was not a great meet! But i am jack! Jack Logan Brooke! What's your name? If you're comfortable telling me....?" Jack asked as i thought for a while .
"Asselina Avianna Irez.... But you can call me just Anna." I said as he made an oh with his mouth and nodded.
"You have such a beautiful name! Just like you!" I blushed at his words.
Tch. That same old line- i have read that in so many books. But i felt good as i heard it for the second time in my life ever...... First? I said it to myself while talking to the mirror....
"Thanks but i need to-" as i was about say Rachel came with our order.
"Here you go guys! Enjoy your meal!" She said as she placed the food infront of us and left.
I looked at the food infront of me. Jack glanced at my direction and motioned me to try the wings.
As i was about to pick it up suddenly my phone rang.
"Sorry i need to pick this up" he nodded in acknowledgement. I got up and went towards the window and picked up the call.
"Hello?- wait what!- I'm coming- just 5mins! Okay!" My heart sank after the call ended i suddenly felt wet on my cheek i looked at my reflection in the window. My tears.
But something else caught my eye there on the other side of the window.
Patrick-
With a girl...
His arm was around her waist and she had her around his neck.... They were literally making out in the middle of the street.
Many people passed by them with a disgusting look , some just ignored them and some teenage girls were hyping and clicking their pictures for don't know what fucking reason.
So this is why he had been so busy lately.....
Fuck! I gotta leave.
I kept the Patrick matter aside and ran outside the cafè. I ran as much as i can and i finally reached the big grey building.
As the door of the lift opened i dashed towards the OT ward and searched for that one room.
"Sorry.." escaped from my mouth as i bumped into someone but without looking behind i kept walking and finally as i opened the door of the room i was searching for the scene hit me like a bullet train.
My grandma was laying on the bed with her face pale and eyes shut. An oxygen mask.
So many wires attached to her arm and her chest. The doctors standing and giving the nurse instructions as the nurse filled a syringe with some chemical medication and pumped it on my grandma's arm.
I ran up to her and saw my bestfriend near her already. Melanie. She must have felt my presence cause she turned to look at me with her teary eyes.
"Anna....." She hugged me and i just stared at my grandma.
"Excuse me miss please you need to get out." The nurse told us as the doctor looked at the heart rate monitor.
It was showing below 60bpm.
The doctor took out the defibrillators and rubbed those together.
Melanie dragged me out the room as the nurse was constantly repeating her words to get us out.
She sat me down on one of the bench and stood near the door peeping inside from the small window.
"Melon...." I called out her name as she looked at me and came infront of me on her knees.
"Anna......" She nodded at me. She wasn't crying. Or more like she was trying hard not to cry. Me. I wasn't crying too.
"Grandma.... She is leaving me right? She is just like mom.... Leaving me here all alone....." She cupped my face and looked straight in my eyes.
"Stop. You are not alone." She said and attached my forehead with her, but didn't responded to the leaving question..... One thing about her. She doesn't lie. She hate liars. Maybe that's why.
"Mam..." The nurse suddenly called out and Melanie stood up and held my hands as we walked inside the room.
The doctors stood around my her bed. The room was silent. Pin drop silence. No sound.
The doctors slowly moved away as we came closer to the bed. And i saw my granny there so sweet just as always. She had a smile on her face. Eyes fully closed . I slowly went beside her and removed the oxygen mask from her face.
"Grandma... I am hungry.... And i know you are too let's go. I will make you some lasagna... We will eat that together right? And then watch your favourite movie ....... And at last we will crochet a pink sweater together for you." I said as i held her hand in mine and kissed it.
"Anna..." Melanie called out as she kept her hand on my shoulder. I jerked it away softly.
"I am talking to my granny don't disturb us melon.!" I said with gritting teeths.
"So grandma... Tell me.... Shall we go?"
But no reply...
"Anna!...." Melanie tried to get me up.
"Melanie! I will not repeat myself twice." I said and as i saw my grandma the nurse came and tried keeping a white cloth on her face.
"What the hell? Don't do this! She will have a hard time breathing if you do that!! Stop!" But she continued and suddenly i was being pulled away from her.
"Ah! Leave me! Melanie! Stop!" I shouted but she just dragged me away and suddenly i was having flashback.
Melanie released me and i walked to the doctor. He had a clipboard in his hand.
"May i check her report.? I need to know how she's doing." The doctor just looked at me with a sympathetic look and handed me that.
Death certificate.
"I think you gave me wrong reports." I said but as i read all the way down....
Victoria Vince Roseline.
Date:- 6th of November.
Time:- 5:34p.m.
And i dropped it.
A littel sob escaped my mouth.
I tried managing my balance as i went towards the door and went out of it.
I ran as fast as i could. To where? Don't know. But i just ran. I just wanted to escape the reality. So i ran.
"Fuck..." I cursed as i fell off by spraining my ankle.
I was in some street don't really know but i was the only one here i guess.... I sat leaning on the wall behind me closed my eyes and cried. Letting all my emotions out i cried.
After sometime i heard some shuffling near me.
"Are you okay now?" I heard a manly voice from beside me but being too tired i didn't gave a fuck to who ever was there. I just sat with my eyes closed and still tears flowing down my chin.
"Lost a loved one? I can understand...... But can we do something about it? No... This world's reality is so cruel.... It will eat you inside out. Will leave nothing inside you but you are the one to decide if you are going to allow it to do so... You know you are strong." He said and i sniffed and opened my eyes to look at the sky.
"But i just cry cry and cry.... I try to be strong but i am really not. I am just a pathetic weak girl." I said with a sad chuckle.
"Crying actually represent how strong you are.... Because you aren't afraid to show or let out your emotions or what you are feeling inside. Its a sign of how strong you are. I will just say one thing You can Cry all you want but get up after you are done and go back to the people that are still waiting for you... "
He said and patted my head then stood up brushing his pants .
"Best of luck.... You can do this cause i Believe in you." He said and left....... I didn't get to see his face...... But his words left a very good virtual image of him behind......
___________
Word count 3434-
"And just like the moon we must go to the phases of emotions to feel full again"-
꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡
Thankyou.