After a bit of pressing, Kent agreed to a three-dollar bomb-pop at the snack shack. I got my usual fudgsicle (also three dollars, ugh), then followed Kent as he walked back towards the table we'd left our stuff at. And all the while, I fiddled with the packaging on my dessert to avoid looking at Kent.
Not sure why I did, avoiding Kent had been what got me into this mess in the first place. One missed summer from a freak cold and suddenly I was afraid to meet him up at the water park again. I knew it was childish, but I couldn't bear to face him until today.
I made the mistake of taking a quick peek at Kent and whished I hadn't. He wasn't aware of it, but he'd grown almost a foot over high school, and his shoulders had become wide and powerful. I tried to erase the split-second image of his deep back muscles flexing beneath his curly brown mane, but my hormones refused to comply.
"We can sit here, Majesty." Kent said glumly as he sat down at our table.
"Y-yeah." I managed as I took the spot opposite him.
Stupid, stupid, stupid. I was so stupid to miss the last two summers with Kent. What did I expect to happen? That he'd come to my house in tears saying that he was lonely? Did I really think we'd be anything more than friends? Margaret was right, I didn't deserve him. I had no one to blame but myself.
I opened my fudgsicle in the usual neat way, sliding it out as Kent took small bites of his bomb-pop. I popped my dessert in my mouth, but the hum of icy-cool chocolate did little to soothe the burning in my heart.
"Thanks. F-for trying, I mean." Kent said.
"Mmf?" I said.
Kent sighed. "I-I mean, I appreciate you trying to cheer me up, but... but I've got some real problems right now. Finals and... college applications. Y'know."
I nodded, trying to keep my face neutral even as my heart plummeted. I'd known this was coming ever since I backed out of going to senior prom with Kent. Even though he'd made it clear to everyone we were going as friends, I endured so much teasing and gossip that I couldn't bear to go through with it. I hadn't even had the courtesy to tell him the bad news in person, I'd just sent him a text.
I sent the boy I loved more than anything in the world a text saying I didn't feel like going to a night we'd never get back.
Kent finished the cherry layer and began on the vanilla, and I snuck another glance at him. He thought he was good at hiding it, but I could tell he was in turmoil, and the cause wasn't hard to guess. I had no right to suddenly re-enter his life when he was on the verge of going on to bigger and better things. And yet here I was, too afraid to let go to a man who could have any woman he desired.
Really, if it weren't for finals and college prep, Kent would probably already be going out with someone else. He was just working up the courage to give me a long overdue farewell, a feat I hadn't made easier with my reckless flirting.
I bit down until my teeth met wood. I'd waffled back and forth between my old swimsuit and something that actually fit me; why did I go with the one that made me look desperate? Was I really fooling anyone with my inner pep talk about a reset button when I knew I just wanted to show off to Kent? And then I threw Angela under the bus when I'd deliberately forgotten to notify her about this outing to get Kent alone.
I chewed on melted fudge as I looked down in shame. I was never like this before. I'd never deceived my friends or used underhanded tricks to get a guy to notice me. I'd even lied to Kent by pretending I'd never gone on the Vortex in the hopes that he'd take me in his muscular arms and hold me all the way down.
And the fact that it actually happened just made me feel worse.
"So... have you decided?" Kent asked. "On a college?"
I shook my head, letting my puffs settled as Kent went "oh." The truth was, junior me expected me and Kent to be dating by the time I reached this point, at which time I would naturally follow him to whatever college he chose. My grades edged his out, so it wasn't as if he'd be at risk of going somewhere I couldn't. The problem lay in my own lack of proper planning and will to carry it out.
I would be the first to admit I'm not the most outgoing girl. My parents thought I was mute until I suddenly spoke at four-years-old, and even then, I rarely opened up to others. But somehow, someway, Kent had gotten through to me on that very first day of second grade. I still felt immense pride at the way I'd gone up to him in front of the whole class and asked if he'd be my friend.
My legs shook as I contemplated asking Kent out for the umpteenth time. It was hard enough defying social norms to ask him instead of the other way around, but the real issue lay with his likely answer. I'd gone back and forth from my deliriously happy "yes, of course I'll go out with you!" to the cold but far more realistic, "I'm sorry, Majesty, but I think we should just stay friends."
I took another bite as I fought back tears, knowing we wouldn't be able to stay friends with that hanging between us. I couldn't risk it. I couldn't.
But as I watched Kent finish the vanilla layer and proceed to blueberry, I knew I couldn't afford to let him go either. I'd tried to get to know other guys, and some of them were even nice like Kent. But they never had that same spark, that same feeling of comfort I had whenever I was around him. When I was with Kent, I never felt like I had to be another person. I was free to be myself.
"Have... have you decided on a college?" I asked awkwardly late.
"Not sure." Kent mumbled before going back to his pop.
I couldn't take this anymore. I had to say something, anything, or my heart would burst from anticipation. I was tired of picturing myself as lonely aging novelist, tired of imaging Kent with another woman and children, our children, by her side. I treasured Kent like nothing else, but I was too afraid to tell him how much I treasured him. If Kent knew how broken up I was about him inside, he'd think I was pathetic.
Kent stopped halfway through the blueberry layer, pulling the stick out of is mouth to regard it with a melancholy look. Even with his lips smeared blue, he was breathtakingly beautiful, and it tore me up to see him with such pain in his green eyes. I wanted to hold him, to press that sorrowful face tight against my chest and take his troubles away.
Oh, how I wanted to be the one to take his troubles away.
"H-hey, Majesty?" Kent said hesitantly. "There's something I need to tell you..."
My heart went from threatening to burst to cold and deflated all at once. I'd trained myself for this moment innumerable times, but actually facing it was so much worse.
"Y-yeah?" I asked.
Part of me was aware of the bit of fudge stuck to the corner of my mouth, or the way my bottoms were riding up again. I tried to focus on these details, but the slowing rhythm of my heart overshadowed all other sensations. Judgment day was at hand, and nothing I could do would halt its terrible arrival.
"You know how everyone... thinks we're... going out?" Kent asked. "Maybe..."
He stared at the remnants of his bomb-pop for the longest time, and my heart warmed to life as it began to beat faster. This didn't sound like a rejection at all, in fact...
"Actually, never mind, forget I said anything. I'm going home."
He got up before I could respond, tossing his stick into a nearby wastebasket as he shouldered his duffel bag. I sat there like an idiot for ten whole seconds, then leapt to my feet like I'd been electrocuted.
"Kent, wait! What were you going to say to me?" I asked.
I had to jog to keep up with Kent's loping strides, which was probably a sight to behold when combined with my skimpy swimsuit. Kent's annoying friend Derrick flashed a thumbs-up from between a sandwich of college girls, but for once in my life, I wasn't thinking about how I appeared to other people. All that mattered was Kent.
"Look, Majesty, it's nothing. Just... just leave me alone, okay?"
He turned to walk towards the gate out, only to stop as my arms closed around one of his. I felt fudge stick to his tanned skin as I pulled him tight.
"Not until you tell me what you have to say, Kent. Whatever it is, I'll listen."
A single green eye peeked out from Kent's gorgeous curls, which bored into my own as my mouth went dry. As difficult as it was, I'd follow through with what I said... no matter what that meant for our respective tomorrows.
Kent looked at the people around us. "I-I'm not sure I want to do it in front of-"
"Th-then do you want me to say it?" I asked.
I was trembling now, unable to let go of Kent for fear I'd fall down and never get back up. I felt deliriously sick, down to my very heart. And yet, I was more alive than I'd ever been in my entire life. If this was the end for us, it was a glorious one.
"Ilubou." I said.
The words came as a tinny squeak, and the onlooker leaned forward in their chairs to strain for a follow-up that never came. My face felt like it was on fire, my throat clenched tight. I couldn't confess if I wanted to.
"Did she just say she loves him?" asked one of the college girls.
"Nah, Kent and Majesty are just friends. Right Kent?" Derrick said.
Kent shot his friend a glare, shedding his duffel bag as he did. Then Kent's powerful arms were around my waist, and the next thing I knew a medley of cherry, vanilla, and blueberry were dancing on my tongue as Kent pulled me in for a kiss.
For a moment, I was too stunned to think. Then my hands where on Kent's face as I pulled him in tighter, fighting for air as my chocolate joined in. It was most intense feeling of relief I had ever known, a weightlessness that seemed to go on forever. But all good things had to end, and we surfaced to whoops and catcalls from the onlookers.
"Like I told you, they're totally going out." Derrick said.
"Shut up, Derrick." Kent said, suppressing a smile as he wiped his lips.
I shook as my adrenaline faded, and old insecurities crept in as people drew forward to give us kudos and thumps on the back. Kent thanked them politely but pulled me steadily towards the attraction near the back, and I wobbled to a sitting position behind the snack shack. I shook my head, still unsure if any of what I'd just gone through had actually happened. And by the look of it, Kent felt the same way.
"So, uh... just to clarify..." he began.
"I love you." I said, surprised by the boldness in my own voice.
"Yeah, me too." Kent said, sliding down to sit next to me.
A full minute came and went as we struggled to find the right words to say, but there was little we could do to follow up such an incredible performance. Eventually I looked over at Kent, and he began to laugh with tears in his eyes.
"What's wrong with you?" I asked as my own eyes grew wet.
"Nothing, Majesty. Nothing now." he said, wiping my tears before getting his. "I've just been so scared and... well, you probably went through the same thing too."
"Yeah." I said with a grin. "So... what do we do now?"
Kent leaned his head against the snack shack, setting his deep jaw with a look of great rumination. After a few moments, he blew hair out of his eyes and stood up.
"I dunno, go on the Vortex again?" he said. "There's only so much to do here when you really think about it. Not really worth the price."
I stood with a smile. "I dunno, I think I got my money's worth today."
I offered him my hand, and we went off to ride the Vortex another five times. Or maybe it was six, I can't remember. We were having too much fun to think of anything except each other that day, and for many days that followed it.
One thing was for sure, though. We weren't just friends anymore.