Prompt: Akari forgets that there's this thing called boundaries. Haru helps her with it.
Authors Note: SORRY THAT THIS IS LATE I HAD A POWER OUTAGE LAST NIGHT DUE TO A STORM! Enjoy this btw.
Akari's POV:
Red was my safe color I suppose, or at least that's what I'm told. I'm more comfortable with warm colors than cool colors. Weird isn't it. For me red reminds me of my brother Haru. His wings are usually more red than yellow. I like the color orange and yellow due to the sunshine and the color of Haru's eyes. It helps me calm down on certain days. My hero suit is even red and yellow matching with Haru. I like matching with Haru.
Blue or more of turquoise to me isn't safe.
I guess it had to start with how he died. His powerful blue flames taking over him. How his turquoise eyes begged me to help. How my quirk didn't even work... That I was basically useless during the whole thing...
Sea-green reminds me of Kaito's eyes. There's days when I look at him and get reminded that I basically abandoned him. That I left my best friend. My very first friend alone cause of the commission. How there's days when I look at him that I worry about the what ifs.
Sadly ocean blue also reminded me of ma'am. How she'd dunk me into water berating me. Yelling at me for something I did or I took the blame for. How her dark eyes glare at me as she scolded me for not being better. For something I didn't do...
Purple reminds me of the bruises and the injuries many get... Reminds me how bad hero work is at times. How life can be so cruel that it leaves a mark where if you don't hide it well... People will question. If I don't hide my bruises well enough I don't know how my classmates will think. I don't like the color purple, or turquoise, or black.
I don't like black cause it reminds me of things I rather forget. How useless I was being held prisoner by someone I thought to be like an older brother figure. I liked his white hair before it was black. I hated his eyes. It showed so much hate, guilt, fury, and regret that I had to look away. I hate the dark, terrified of not being able see Haru.
I don't like certain colors. I don't like the constant reminders of my failures.
My dorm has warm colors. I like it that way and I want to keep it that way. My bed sheets were white with a red throw blanket. My desk chair was red along with the case for my violin. I like it this way. I find it comforting. That's just how it was.
Red reminds me about the rising and setting of the sun showing it's different hues across the sky. I like red. It's my favorite color is all I know of and that's how it will be. I find the color red to be safe. Meaning that Haru is safe too.
Much better than those commission workers. They don't really care about me. They care about my progress and my status. They like how easy it is for them to do as they pleased to the older unit 5 because of me.
To me as long as I have red I'll be safe.
...
I got put into a turquoise gown made by Mina. I don't know why but I felt a bit sick to my stomach. She wanted me to help model the dress as she finished the last bit of it. I really don't like turquoise at all. It's a big no-no color but I can't say no to Mina... Right?
I mean I'm not that uncomfortable with the dress. Just the color. Maybe I can ignore the reminders of Touya flashing through my mind. The memory of his face begging me to help. Maybe I can ignore the desperation from Kaito from when we were 11. How sad his eyes reflected onto me as he kissed me before leaving.
I felt a shiver go up my spine as I got reminded all of that. I hate it when that happens.
"You failed Phoenix now look at them." My mind quipped. I felt my throat start to close up again. No- no no no not again. Why now?
"Hey are you ok? You look a bit pale?" I hear someone say. Looking around I tried to find the color red or even yellow but I can't. It isn't safe. Where's Haru?
"Haru- red- where's Haru?" I rasped out looking around. Red. Where's red? I felt an unfamiliar hands go on my shoulders. I hate it. It feels too cold to be Haru and too small to be him. I heard yelling and someone bursting through the door. Loud. It's too loud. I need to get out of here.
All the yelling reminded me of when the sirens were blaring in our ears as we were panicking over Touya's body incinerating. As his turquoise eyes stared into mine. How the light in his eyes dimmed as he died.
The hands. It's still there. Jerking it off I let my wings wack whatever is around me. That's when I heard a crash. An increase amount of yelling started and it began to hurt my head. Red where is red?
That's when I felt something touch me. It was too small but it felt like Haru. I then heard a familiar voice.
"Akari? It's alright ok your safe at UA remember? I'm sorry but I'm not there right now so Todoroki is going to fill in for me alright?" Todoroki? He's sorta red but I can't look at him in the eye. I stuttered,
"Blue- Haru red." I couldn't hear Haru. Where's red? My vision started swirling trying to find red. Todoroki's has his hand on my shoulder still I think. It's like how Touya's was before he cremated himself. Todoroki's deadpanned voice caught me off gaurd,
"He's on the way alright? Just look at me." I looked at him. Red. I see red. I let my wings relax a bit asking,
"Haru?" Todoroki just guiding me out of the room explaining to me,
"Lets get you to your dorm alright? Haru will be here soon." I nodded numbly as I felt like I was being teleported. I know it's illogical to think that but it's red. Its a safe color. It's a color that Haru is and Haru is safe.
When we got to my dorm he let me in saying,
"Change out of that. You look uncomfortable." I nodded saying,
"Alright." I watched from my bed as Todoroki grabbed a hoodie. It was a baby yellow color. From the looks of it, it was Haru's old hoodie. He must've snuck it into my luggage. I like yellow. That's a nice color to look at sometimes.
He gave me a pair of shorts to wear with it and walked to the door saying,
"Change tell me when your done alright?" I nodded again as he left. Once the door clicked I looked at the bundle of clothes. Red. I want red... I miss red. Suddenly a knock was on my balcony door. Looking over it was red! I jumped up and ran to the door opening it. It was him. It was red! He hugged me saying,
"It's alright. I'm here Aki." Aki he only uses that when we're alone and safe. He crouched down to my height asking,
"What happened?" I felt my throat close up. I opened my mouth to say something. Anything but no sound came out. Well as long as I'm aware. Haru stared at me. Yellow. He hummed a bit guiding me back into my dorm saying,
"Come on let's get you changed alright?" I nodded as he helped me out of the gown. The design was pretty but the colors were too much. Haru got me into a hoodie and then put me on the bed again wrapping a red blanket on me. He then went behind me and gave me a hug saying,
"It's alright Aki. I'm here and I'm not leaving for a while alright?" I nodded leaning against him. I miss this. I miss feeling safe and not having to watch my back. He had his wings wrapped around us. I stared at his wings. It's red and warm. Snuggling closer to him I felt like a child. Maybe I should be able to act as one every now and then. I was brought out of my thoughts as Haru started humming while running his fingers through my hair. He wasn't looking at me but at his phone. He seemed to have been texting someone.
After a while I don't know how long it was. Hours? Minutes? But there's a rule for when things go south and we're dealing with the after effect. It's that after an bit we have to make sure one of us eats.
"Did you eat dinner yet Aki?" I shook my head. My voice betraying me as I can't find the courage to talk. I hate it when that happens. I don't even know why it happens! Words just seem to go father and father away from me making it seem impossible to speak.
I heard Haru sigh then urged me to get up. I didn't want to get up. Haru kept at it until I did. The blanket still around me as he guided me out the room and into the kitchen. There stood Aizawa sensei. Oh gods what will he think of me now?!
He had this sad frown on his face as he set up 2 mugs saying,
"You do realize your trespassing private property?" Haru shrugged saying,
"I'm helping my little sister get through something... Classified information wise." Aizawa's eyes narrowed as Haru straightened up. I don't know why I copied him but I did. Aizawa took note of this and stopped glaring at Haru.
"You'll have to deal with Nezu I hope you know that." He said and left the kitchen with a hot mug of coffee. Looking at him now I realized he's getting ready for patrol. Haru sighed saying,
"Alright I'm guessing your going to be debriefed of the situation as well?" Aizawa nodded before walking away. I don't get it. I really try to but I don't get Aizawa sensei. I really want to understand what's going on and why Haru is tense. Looking up at him he seemed wary.
Once he saw me looking he sighed putting a hand on top of my hair ruffling it. He had this small smile as he explained to me,
"He's going to help us with the commission alright?" I nodded numbly as he pointed at a chair saying,
"I'm going to make us something to eat. You stay there and I'll be right here alright?" I nodded sitting down at the bar stool. Putting my head down on the countertop watching as Haru looks around the kitchen getting himself acquainted with it. After a bit he started pulling out different things to make udon noodles.
He hummed moms song as he went. He looked relaxed as he cooked. The ease showing in his wings as if he's in his own world. I'm sorta jealous of that. That he can create his own world where he's safe and bring others to it putting them at ease. I guess that's why his optimism. I wondered if I should be more optimistic at times even now. Then maybe everything would be fine.
That peace was broken as someone tripped letting out a yelp. Whipping around frozen we looked at Mina who had her phone out. Raising an eyebrow she sheepishly asked me,
"Uhm you good?" I just nodded my throat feeling like it closed up on me again. Haru sent her a princely smile that made her turn redish-pink. He explained,
"Yeah she's going to be ok. Do you want some udon? I think I made too much for just us two." Mina nodded as she sat next to me as Haru set up the three bowls. I don't know why I allowed myself to zone out but I did relaxing into the comfortable atmosphere. That was until I heard,
"Why did Sora-San react that way? I wanna know so that I know how to help her next time." I looked at Haru frozen. He looked at me uncertainly. Then back at Mina and back at me. I sighed nodding knowing that if it does happen again they'll need to get Haru to snap me out of it. Haru let out a sigh before looking back at a confused Mina explaining,
"Akari doesn't do well with certain colors. More of the cool colors. It's due to how the commission program is. If anything like today happens again please get me. I know how to deal with it best if not get Hawks." Mina wanted to question further as Haru looked at me up and down then said,
"I'm calling it an early night Akari lets get you to bed alright?" I nodded as Haru put the dishes in the sink before ushering me to my dorm room. Once in there he tucked me into bed turning on a tiny lamp as he went towards the balcony door. I let out the most feeble noise of,
"Stay please?" Gods I'm pathetic. I mean I'm 16 for Kami sake! I should be fine not feeling like this! Haru looked at me with a small smile and nodded closing the curtains to the balcony. He sat down next to me a hand on my shoulder explaining to me as if I'm 5 all over again,
"Alright I'll stay Aki. Just until you fall asleep. I'm going to talk to Aizawa-San about the commission afterwards and be right back here. Ok?" I nodded as I felt my eye lids go heavy as Haru hummed moms song. I let myself fall asleep letting my body go lax.
I didn't like the darkness that welcomed me. It wasn't comforting. It was terrifying. It was all in 3rd point perspective. Everything in black and white except certain colors. Looking around I saw the blue flames and the turquoise eyes losing their shine. When I turned around I saw the desperate sea green eyes I love go sad. The scenes shifting again and again reminding me of what I had done.
Oh gods please when can this end? I hate it when flashbacks happen. How the past is now catching up to me cause I can relax. How the constant reminders of my failures is causing a lot of problems. I didn't even realize my breathing started picking up. How shallow my breaths were until I felt someone's hand shaking my shoulder causing me to jolt awake and grab my feathers. Using it like a sword.
I heard Haru squeak a bit his hands in the air as if he's surrendering. Letting out a shuddering breath I asked,
"What?" I didn't like how raspy my voice sounded. Putting my flight feather back on me I watched as Haru's eyes were analyzing me. I could tell he was questioning on what to say. In defeat I sighed mumbling a feeble sorry. He spooked me in all honesty waking me up like that. He put his hand on my shoulder and gave me a comforting smile understanding that right now I just need physical contact. With me nodding to him we went behind me and pulled me in close.
I didn't understand how I felt safe with him acting as a cocoon. My body though relaxed and let me fall back asleep.