"Hey," Joe says softly, grabbing my wrist gently, as I walk by on my way to clean off the makeup from todays scene.
I give him a grin, as I look up into his eyes.
"Do you want to do something tonight?" He asks me.
I tilt my head to the side, and half smile.
"We're doing something tomorrow," I tell him, reminding him of Dacres going-away-bowling-event.
Joe rolls his eyes.
"I meant something with just us," He explains, as if it was obvious, "Then, I can pick you up tomorrow, or..." He pulls me by the wrist closer to him.
I laugh at him implying he could stay over. We've only spent two nights away from each other this week, and that was very reluctantly.
I lick my lips, as I look up into his brown, puppy dog eyes.
"Let's do something," I agree.
Joe smiles, and I spy his dimples that I just want to kiss.
"I was thinking a restaurant, or something?" He offers.
My smile falls, and a feeling of dread settles in my stomach, replacing the feeling of warmth that sat there a moment ago.
"What?" He asks.
"Like, in public?" I ask him.
His eyes search mine, trying to find the problem, when he realises.
"You worried about being seen with me?" Joe asks me.
"We just haven't really talked about going public yet, and I know when it does come out that people will say stuff about me, you and Gemma, and the show, and I just don't know if I can handle that right now," I tell him.
Joe chews on his lip thoughtfully, as he watches me.
"We've been out in public together though," He tells me, "We were holding hands at the cafe just the other day,"
I sigh. I had been thinking about that. What if someone saw us? Nothing had showed up on Twitter or Instagram as far as I can tell, but I just know if it did, it would bring new drama into our freshly reunited relationship.
"We've been lucky. But, a date at a restaurant is going to be pretty obvious. Someone is bound to see us. We'll probably end up on Deuxmoi, or something," I explain.
"I understand how you feel, and it's a valid worry. But, are you sure you're not looking for reasons for things to go wrong?" He asks me.
I knew he'd think that. I'd told him about going to therapy, and me catastrophizing things and self sabotaging is one thing we'd talked about this week. I know he's just trying to help, but I'd like my concerns taken seriously too.
"I'm just scared of all the hate putting a damper on all the good we're feeling right now," I tell him.
"I'm in love, Charlee. I don't want to have to hide that. Not after hiding it for so long already," Joe says, his eyes burrowing into mine.
Sometimes I forget it's been longer for him. That he'd loved me first.
I bring my hands up to his shoulders, and rub them reassuringly. The electricity that still flows between us actually making my fingertips tingle.
"I've just been so worried about how the fans, and everyone else is going to react," I tell him.
"What if, instead of stressing about when it's going to happen, when we get caught together and who will catch us, we just ripped the bandaid off and did it ourselves? We can limit our comments on our social media, and detox the internet for a week or so, and not have to have this hanging over us, not knowing when and how its coming," Joe propositions with a shrug.
I bite my lip, and my stomach starts swirling with anxiety at the thought. My psychologist does say that the majority of fear, is actually anticipation. There is some merit in ripping the bandaid off, so to speak. Plus, at least this way it's on our terms.
My mouth goes dry, but I give Joe some small nods to indicate I'm considering it.
"You'll do it?" He asks, taking my nods as agreement.
My eyes grow wide, and I try to reason with him.
"What, now? It's only been a week!" I exclaim.
Joe shrugs again.
"One week out of thousands, and more to come," He says matter-of-factly.
I laugh in disbelief. You would think after being in a long term relationship, he'd be weary of starting a new serious one. But, one thing I've learned about Joe, is that he's very serious about us.
"So, when should we do it?" I ask, beginning to come around to the idea.
"Now, right now. Before we lose our nerve, and so we don't worry about it happening on our date," He says with conviction.
I nod again.
"Okay... How do we do it?" I ask him.
Joe opens his mouth to answer, but is interrupted.
"Insta!" Millie shouts.
Joe and I both turn our heads, looking over at Millie, who is playing a game of chess with Noah.
"What?" Millie asks with a shrug, "You two are very loud, and beating Noah is getting quite boring,"
Noah rolls his eyes, and motions to the board.
"I'm literally winning," He says.
"That might be how it looks right now," Millie says, raising an eyebrow and smirking.
Noah shakes his head at her.
"You're not allowed to watch The Queen's Gambit again. I'm banning you," He tells her sternly, but his smile gives away the humour in his words.
"So, Insta?" Joe interrupts.
"Yup, just post a selfie together or something," Millie says, looking at the chess board.
Joe gets his phone out of his pocket, and stands next to me, holding the phone up and smiling awkwardly. Millie glances at us, and frowns, before letting out a frustrated sounding sigh, standing up and walking over to us.
She snatches the phone from Joe's hands.
"I see I have to do everything for you," She mutters, holding the phone up and backing away from us.
I look at the camera, and give a smile, when a thought goes through my mind.
"Wait! We should tell Gemma first. So she can be prepared if people start commenting stuff on her posts," I say, worrying this could end up a headache for her.
Joe nods in agreement and reaches for his phone, which Millie hands over.
Millie and I stand by awkwardly, as Joe dials her number, and explains our plans to her. The phone call is quick, but seems pleasant.
"She said she's cool, thanked you for thinking of her and said congratulations," Joe tells me with a smile.
Okay. Everything is going ahead. I feel anxious pins needling me inside my chest.
"You okay?" Joe asks me.
"Let's rip the bandaid off," I tell him as I nod.
"So romantic," Joe chuckles.
Millie holds her hand out for the phone, and Joe gives it to her.
She backs up as we smile at her, and moves the phone to get a good angle.
"Look at each other!" She shouts out.
I look into Joe's eyes and smile. He has such a big grin on his face, and he really seems happy. After everything we've been through, it almost feels surreal what we're doing right now; posing for a picture to announce our relationship.
"Kiss!" Noah shouts out, and Millie laughs and then agrees with him.
I glance at Joe, and he lets out a small laugh and moves forward a little hesitantly.
"You okay with this?" He asks me, as if I hadn't made it clear that I'd been apprehensive about the whole thing.
I nod to him, and move in closer, closing the gap and giving him a soft peck on the lips. When we move away from each other, Joe gives me another smile and it makes my heart sing to know he's happy too.
"Okay, all done," Millie said.
"Awesome, thanks Mill. Which picture should we post?" Joe asks Millie as he gets his phone back from her.
"Oh I already chose the caption and posted them," Millie says with a nonchalant shrug.
Joe raises his eyebrows and opens his Instagram app, as I pull out my phone to see what she's posted.
As I go onto his profile, I see she's posted two pictures. One where we are looking into each others eyes and smiling, and the one of us kissing. They are really nice pictures. She's captioned it with "You heard it hear first".
I look at the comments that are already beginning, and see Gemma was one of the first comments.
She commented: "Finally! So glad you found each other <3".
I shake my head at how ridiculously sweet she is, and silently thank her for showing her support publicly. We honestly do not deserve her.
"Thanks for this Millie," I tell her, and she gives me a hug.
"Why didn't anyone ask for my input?" Noah pouts.
"If they need help with a tiktok, I'm sure they'll ask you," Millie says, walking over to the chess table and sitting down.
*****
I tuck my hair behind my ears as I peer into the mirror. I'm wearing minimal makeup, with a light lipgloss on. My hair is tied up into a bun, with two strands of curls framing my face. I'm wearing a light blue, long, cotton slip dress. I hope this outfit works, he didn't tell me what kind of restaurant we would be going to.
I check my phone to see if Joe has texted me yet. He's picking me up soon. But, there's nothing there.
I walk into the kitchen, and grab a glass of water. I'm not sure if it will actually help with my nerves, but it will distract me for a moments.
It's not the date I'm nervous about. We've been on enough dates now, that I'm not nervous about being alone with him. I'm actually excited. It's just that now that we've gone official with our relationship, I'm worried people might be more inclined to take pictures and talk to us if they recognise us at the restaurant.
I don't know why that seems worse to me. At least we won't be hiding anything now. Maybe I am just catastrophizing again.
Just as I finish my glass of water, rinse it and set it on the dish rack, I receive a message from Joe saying he's here. I quickly grab my clutch, and meet him downstairs.
As I open the door to outside, I spot Joe in a grey suit, leaning against his car.
When he looks up and sees me, his beautiful grin fills his whole face, and he gives me a long slow whistle.
"Charlee, I am an extremely lucky man," Joe tells me.
I laugh lightly, and take him in too. His grey suit compliments his brown hair and eyes, and frames his strong shoulders in a flattering way.
"My luck isn't looking too bad either," I remark with a coy smile.
I walk closer to Joe, and he stands up straight, getting off of the car. He walks over to me, and wraps his hands around my waist as he leans in to give me a kiss. When he pulls away, the lip gloss from my lips shines on his in the sun. His tongue swipes across them as he tries to lick it away, and I laugh as I rub it from his top lip with my thumb.
"Worth it," He says with a smirk.
Joe opens the car door for me to get in, and as I sit, he runs around to his side.
"Where are we going?" I ask him as he starts the car.
"Italian!" Joe says with a wide grin.
I'm about to ask him where, but I would guess he's being vague on purpose. By now, I know that Joe likes to give a surprise.
On the drive, I feel my fingers itch. I pull my phone out of my clutch, and open up Twitter.
I know I shouldn't look, but the anxiety of knowing people are probably saying something and I don't know what it is they're saying, eats at me.
The first few tweets I see are supportive and sweet, some even call me pretty. There's a few that are accusing us of being a PR stunt to drum up excitement for the next season. I roll my eyes and nearly laugh. As if Stranger Things needs help with publicity.
I'm about to put my phone away, when I see another tweet. Someone has managed to find out when I started working for Stranger Things, when I switched to acting from writing and even pictures of me and Joe hanging out, and made up a timeline, trying to prove Joe cheated on Gemma with me.
My stomach drops as I read the replies. Slut, gold digger, social climber, and home wrecker are some of the names aimed at me. Nothing said about Joe, at all. I guess they envision me as some evil seductress, and Joe a hapless victim.
"What's wrong?" Joe asks me, parking the car. I didn't even realise we were here.
I look up from my phone, and into Joes eyes. I open my mouth to speak, but can't find the words. I glance back to my phone.
"You looked at Twitter didn't you," Joe says.
"You've seen it?" I ask, feeling the blood rushing from my face.
Joe shakes his head, and looks out the window.
"I don't need to. I know what Twitter is like," He tells me.
I lean back in the seat and close my eyes, and rest my head on the leather.
"I'm sorry," I whisper.
Joes hand reaches out, and rests on my thigh.
"It's not your fault," Joe tells me.
I finally look over at him again.
"You told me not to look, and I did. Now I've ruined our date," I tell him.
Joe takes my hand, and gives it a squeeze. He gives me a small smile.
"Hey. Don't worry about what they're saying. They don't know us. They don't get to experience anything half as good as what we have, and I know that for a fact, because if they did, they wouldn't be spending their time getting mad at strangers on the internet for being happy," Joe says to me.
My face softens as I listen to Joe. He leans in closer to me.
"I love you. Let's have fun," Joe says, before tilting my chin with his finger and kissing me softly.
As we walk through the doors of the restaurant, I see that all of the seating is outside, on a wooden deck on the water.
Fairy lights are strung up above the tables, and someone is playing guitar and singing on a small stage.
"Lucky it isn't raining," I joke.
Joe laughs and takes my hand, lacing his finger in mine.
"It's beautiful, Joe," I tell him.
"I thought you'd like this better than some stuck up fancy place," He says.
I squeeze his hand, and smile to myself. I was dreading fancy actually. He gets me.
We listen to the music, eat cannoli, and drink wine. At one point, Joe convinces me to get up and dance with him, and it's lovely. On the way home, I rest my head on his shoulder as he drives. He feels like home.