🎶 Pyar Ho (Redux)
Published on 10.11.2022
❝ lakeeron se juda karke,
haath kyu choda;
socha nahi tha samandar ko dhokha,
de dega ye saahil. ❞
🥀
"You look eerily calm after that rough showdown and that's very..... uncharacteristic of you," Maya says cautiously as she sat with her back against the headboard, her legs stretched in front of her.
Beside her, Inaaya laid on her stomach, her face pressed against the pillow, not looking at Maya. "I'm fine." She mumbles.
"That's not the question I asked..... "
Inaaya sighs. "I just remembered something and then, I couldn't help but think about it the whole time I was on my way back."
"What?"
"Years back, I'd met someone who said a very beautiful thing to me." She turns around, gazing at Maya with an impassive face in the shadow of the dim lamp light. "He had said to me something on the lines of about how there are people who are going through the same thing as us, who might be suffering equally as us or maybe worse but they're still holding on, clinging onto the hope that things will get better." She snuggles more into the comforter, a soft smile turning the corner of her lips up.
Maya let's out a small chuckle of amusement. "That's.... very optimistic."
"His words were the thing that picked me up when I was at my lowest." She confesses in a small voice, looking up at the ceiling as her heart squeezes at the memory.
"Sweet," Maya comments, "I would actually like to meet this mysterious guy."
"Me too, even if I know it's impossible. Me too." She adds.
An eccentric silence falls over them as Maya lies down, trying to sleep and Inaaya struggles to sleep.
"Maybe tomorrow, there will be stars and the moon too. Maybe tomorrow, you can see the light and the hope too. Maybe tomorrow, the despair would fade away."
If a stranger's words of hope were nothing but comforting, like a warm hug absorbing all your stress then Ayansh's words having an undertone of wishful dreams and frail promises were like a hand outstretched towards you, begging you to hold it, wanting to lead you to a beautiful place, so inviting yet so perilous.
"He said he loves me." Inaaya says, demanding Maya's attention.
"Yeah, you told me." She responds. "You- you trust him?"
"No." She replies after a beat.
Maya didn't judge Inaaya for not trusting Ayansh. But she would be damned if she accepted that there was no truth behind his words. "I think he cares for you. He does."
Inaaya stays silent; empty mind, steadily beating heart, the natural cold nibbing at her skin being curbed the heater.
"He wouldn't have called me to check upon you if he didn't care. He wouldn't have had that crestfallen look on his face seeing you with Josh if there was not even a tinge of truth behind his words. He wouldn't have given you chocolates, saved you only to be nursing a broken wrist if you weren't important to him." Maya breathes out.
Inaaya allows the words to sink into her as if they hadn't crossed her mind. "Two years and eight months," her voice comes out strained, longing and pain laced together. "I had nothing to do with him this whole time and suddenly he shows up and says he's sorry and he- he- ," her voice breaks and she purses her lips before whispering, "he loves me. Am I really suppose to believe that? Every day, I've spent convincing myself that he was a freaking liar who never loved me, who just used me for a selfish reason, played with my emotions and now, he's asking me to undo everything?" She questions as a lone tear slips from the corner of her eyes.
"Is it always going to be like that? Everything on his terms and conditions?" She chuckles bitterly and sniffles. "I don't trust him. I don't and I can't." She shakes her head and pulls the comforter over her head, ending the conversation.
-
" Our school had taken us to an old-age home today. It was a fulfilling, gratifying and an extremely humbling experience. But I learnt something today and I can't stop thinking about it. Everyone there was so lovely that I couldn't help but wonder who in their right senses would leave their parents and cut all ties with them and even though, many people seem to justify this act by saying how elderly people are a burden, how because of work they can't pay the necessary attention towards them, how they've their own family to take care of (as if their own parents are all of a sudden materialistic things which come with an expiry date), it all just feels so shallow, so unconvincing. Maybe it was curiosity or maybe the thought was disturbing but I ended up voicing it out to Sneha, oblivious that an elderly couple sitting near us actually heard me. I really need to be more conscious about what I speak but that's a topic for another day. The man chuckled and I felt horribly embarassed. I really wanted to disappear from the face of the earth to say such a sensitive thing at the wrong place but the elderly uncle simply called me towards him, a warm smile planted over his wrinkled face. He told how maybe one day, I would do the same and I blatantly refused that I'm never going to be one of those ungrateful kids. Sneha passed a comment about how I wouldn't even be needing to do it since I'll marry off to someone and leave my place and before I could give some snarky reply, the elderly woman beside the uncle shushed her playfully making all of us giggle. I got to know how two months after their son left them here, he came to take them back. He apparently felt sorry for his actions too. Amused and confused, I asked why didn't they go back. I mean, isn't it better to live the rest of your life with your children whom you love so dearly rather than practically living with strangers? In my view, they actually took a wrong decision by not going back. And all he replied was, "you don't get to hurt someone and then decide how they should react."
I think this will stay with me for a very long time. "
🥀
The next morning, before heading for work, Ayansh visited Mr Stevens, clearly upset by the happenings of yesterday's.
"Why did you tell her?" He asks as soon as the door opens, revealing Maria who frowns, a question mark hanging on her face.
Ayansh makes a tsk sound. "Not you," he grumbles, shaking his head and making his way in, looking wildly for Mr Stevens.
"Sir!" He shouts, calling out for him.
Mr Stevens who was in study comes out, walking briskly, looking worried, his spectacles loosely balanced over the slope of his nose, the book still in his hand. "What happened?"
"Don't pretend as if you don't know." Ayansh heaves a sigh. "You had no business telling her that."
It takes a moment for his brain to catch up and then, his face blooms up. "Oh, I see, you too had a meaningful conversation." He says brightly. "Come, have a seat." He invites, walking to the couch and sliding upon it.
Ayansh's eyes follow his movements with an incredulous expression etched on his face. "Why did you tell her?" He repeats, his voice croaking.
"Come-on mate," he throws his hands up and huffs, "I thought you must have told her. When were you planning to tell her? After she gets married to someone and have kids? Atleast, I sped up the process and instead of being grateful, you're throwing tantrums." He adds, disappointedly.
"Sir- "
Mr Stevens cuts his off. "And where are your manners young boy? Is this the way you enter someone's house?"
"You should be grateful that I wasn't at your door in the middle of the night." He retorts spontaneously and immediately regrets how rude and callous he sounded. "I'm sorry." He mumbles, looking down.
Mr Stevens simply smiles at him warmly and beckons him to sit.
Ayansh follows.
"You didn't tell her about that, right?" Ayansh inquires sceptically, even though he knew the answer.
"I didn't." He leans back. "Thought I should keep something for you too."
Ayansh let's out a small sigh and his shoulders slump as he clasps his hands, letting them dangle over his knees.
"You should tell her."
His head snap up. "No," he says firmly. "It's not a big deal and it doesn't matter if she knows or not."
"That's for her to decide, not you." Mr Stevens reprimands him politely.
Ayansh shakes his head. "I don't think she'll take it well. And I'm done hurting her again and again. Let this be the last thing that I'm hiding from her." He pleads, desperately hoping Mr Stevens would understand where he's coming from.
Reluctantly, he nods. "I won't. By the way, what happened yesterday?"
Ayansh idly looks down while twiddling his fingers. "She doesn't trust me. I apologized, atleast I tried and she..... ," he trails off. "I- I confessed to her and she hated me the most for it." He swallows the lump formed in his throat.
"What's next?"
A sad smile comes over his face. "I'm not going to give up. I want- want to see her happy and I want her to know that the moments we lived and the memories we created were never tainted by dishonesty. I want her forgiveness. I can't live with her hating we the entire time." His hand comes up to his chest as he felt a burning sensation at the mere thought of her looking at him with nothing but betrayal, sadness and pain.
"And.... what if it doesn't work out?" He voices out his doubts. "It's been a month and I don't think you've done anything that would make her sceptical about your intentions. I get when you say you don't want to hurt her but isn't she hurting you now- "
A baffled chuckle leaves his lips. "What are you trying to imply? Are you trying to blame her because she can't bring herself to trust me?"
Mr Stevens doesn't deny. He quietly stares at him with a blank face.
"I can never blame her," Ayansh whispers. "Whatever happened or is happening, she isn't at fault, never was. And I'm not going to be petty and hold on a grudge against her because things aren't going the way I would want." He shakes his head and straightens up, his back against the fabric of the couch. "You don't get to hurt someone and then decide how they should react." He murmurs softly as if the mere words written by a stranger where nothing less than a prayer to him.
A small smile grazes over Myles Stevens lips as he gazes at Ayansh amusedly who had his eyes brimmed with adoration. "Profound," he remarks, impressed. "Keep trying loverboy." He laughs hoarsely making Ayansh scoff. "I'm glad to know that you think so highly of her."
Ayansh squints his eyes. "Were you just..... playing with me?"
"Little bit." He admits in his gruff voice.
Ayansh looks pointedly before giving up the facade.
"Moving on, I really want you two to get together." He smiles.
"Not happening, Sir." Ayansh is quick to dismiss the misconception. "Never."
"Why?" He almost let out a shriek.
"She deserves better than me," Ayansh says sternly. "She doesn't deserve to be with someone like me who's confused and scared and keeps making wrong decisions, not to forget a coward too." He chuckles dryly to lighten up the atmosphere only to find Mr Stevens looking at him with intrigue.
"So who do you think is best for her?" He asks, genuinely curious. "Josh?"
"No," he jerks back, frowning and then a silly smile stretches across his face. "By the way, she broke up with him." He admits, unabashedly.
"What!?" He laughs heartily and Ayansh chortles. "Okay then who?"
He shrugs, not knowing the answer, neither wanting to think about it.
"It's not Josh and just the thought of some other man with her gives you the ick." Mr Stevens says in a bored tone.
"Time will tell." He replies lamely and gets up as his eyes fall on the clock ahead of him. "I guess I should leave now."
"Ayansh," Mr Stevens calls out softly as he walked to him. "You keep saying she deserves better but then you don't know who that person is or how they should be."
Ayansh's brows knit together as she struggles to comprehend the meaning behind his words.
"Maybe you can be the better she deserves. Maybe instead of looking around for better options, why don't you simply work on yourself? If you believe she deserves better, why can't you be better?" He arches an brow and Ayansh looks at him in thought.
—
Inaaya came across him in the lobby area when she arrived. But his presence wasn't that what made her stall and caused a butterfly to flutter in her stomach, something she thought wasn't capable of happening again. It was the way he looked at her as if she hadn't dismissed his efforts just the other night, the way he had a softness swirling in his gaze, the way he slowly blinked at her, making her know about his unbridled resolution.
She tears her eyes off him and makes her way to the elevator. Ayansh walks behind her and slyly steps in beside her and before she could press for the thrid floor, he blocks her way, selecting the button for fifth floor and letting the door glide close.
She looks at him, confused and taken aback. "Third floor."
"I need to tell you something." He says, a little more earnestly.
Inaaya looks around. "By locking me in an elevator?" She raises a brow, staring at him in disbelief.
Ayansh takes an instinctive step back, plastering himself against the metal. "I've no wrong intentions," he clarifies, raising his palms.
She grits her teeth. "Listen- ," she stops when the elevator halts at the fifth floor and opens. She presses for the third floor but Ayansh stands in the middle, his half body inside the elevator and half outside, preventing it from closing. "This is so damn childish!"
"Ina- "
"Listen to me," she takes a threatening step ahead, glaring at him. "Just for your information lemme remind you that last night wasn't a dream. You can't do this. Stop acting as if nothing happened."
"I know," he urges in a small murmur, contrast to her furious self. "That's why I'm telling you that what I said wasn't a lie either. It was the truth."
"And what part of I don't trust you do you not understand?" She snaps.
"That doesn't mean I'll give up." He replies gingerly and she stares at him with a conflicted look.
"What has gotten inside you this morning?" She inquires, confused. "I get your hand isn't healed but has that affected your brain?"
Ayansh blinks. "Sorry?"
Inaaya takes a couple of steps forward and then she leans near him, sniffing. Surprised and equally shocked by her action, he almost stumbles back, his heart thumping loudly in his chest, his breath getting hitched.
A frown etches itself on her forehead as she steps back. "It doesn't seem you're drunk but still... are you?"
Ayansh flutters his eyelashes, too caught up in the previous moment. His face warms up and he shakes his head in a daze. "I'm- I'm not drunk." He replies in a slur.
She shoves her hands in her blazer pockets and he couldn't help but follow her movements as if he was a puppet at her mercy, all his previous determination and confidence taking a backseat.
"Ayansh!" She snaps her fingers at him. "Where are you lost? And do you keep forgetting that this is a workplace and I'm nothing more than an employee to you? I don't care about you but I would very well like to keep my personal and professional life separate." She states. "And right now it's office hours."
Ayansh parts his lips to speak only to close them and drags his fingers over his brows in mild annoyance. "I'm sorry." He mumbles and exhales. "I just wanted to tell you that I didn't lie about anything last night." He speaks solemnly, not beating around the bush, knowing very well that he was misusing his position. "I get that you don't believe me but please- "
"I've work." She cuts him off, looking at him disappointedly.
With reluctance, he steps in and presses for the fourth and third floor.
Inaaya crosses her arms and stares ahead as the door closes.
When the elevator opens at the fourth floor, Ayansh steps outside only to get caught by Sameer and a few other people on the floor who looked at the two apprehensively.
"The elevator isn't working." The lie spills smoothly from his lips. "Took us to the fifth floor when he clicked for the third and fourth. Glad it didn't stop somewhere in the middle or else we would've been suffocating ourselves to death." He spares a last glance at Inaaya who had her eyes squinted at him, amazed and ridiculed at how convincing he sounded. "Sameer," he addresses still looking at Inaaya, the barrier closing between them, "get the elevators repaired."
***
I was dying to use this quote for Inayansh since I ever started writing "lost" because I don't think there's something more perfect than this to describe them 🤧❤️ kind of a filler chapter but hope y'all liked it nonetheless. Don't forget to vote and comment. They really mean a lot to me.
• Thank you for reading •