800 years ago, my life turned upside down, I never realized that the heaven that I was so aware of turned out to be the unbearable cold of the hell, just because of him I lost everyone and everything, but now I stand here today just like how he wanted, i became him in every sense. Now i realize nobody is never the enemy of any person ,the other simply teaches us to be our own enemy. You truly lose everything when you lose yourself.
63 days, 63 unbearable days, unbearable screams of agony, their blood has been imprinted not only on my pale attire but on my soul, my consciousness, my humanity. In true sense i have become worse than any demon or ghost, I chose to destroy these innocent' loved ones while i mercilessly finished them off. I swore to protect these very people i've murdered just to satisfy my own interests. Humans are not the only selfish, desperate or maniac folks but we gods are worse ,we not only have the power to play with them as puppets but also throw them away like trash whenever and when we please.
Every single second is unbearable, intolerable, I can't seem to breathe, I can't seem to walk, I can't seem to speak, I can't seem to feel.
Every day i inflict an injury onto me just to feel something or anything, the amalgamation of my desperation and helplessness give birth to monochrome emotions. I can only feel one emotion only once. I don't know how to smile anymore, how can I when I demolished the happiness of millions?
Some days I break into tears, but only when I let myself get distracted by his memory. On those moonless nights I scream,"San Lang how come you didn't even try to reach to me? DO YOU REALLY HATE ME NOW?". But those questions will never be answered.
Now it doesn't matter whether it's the heavens or San Lang, everything will end with me.