!! (gn! reader) !!
In a time of grievance, the reader falls into a deep depression and loses the ability to take care of themselves. Leo helps them out by volunteering to take care of their needs.
[TW: mentions of mental illnesses (depression) and mental breakdowns, death, blood, and violence]
(Also, a small amount of angst but it's literally nothing)
- vani
-
It had been weeks since their passing, so why couldn't you get over it?
You repeatedly reminded yourself to get out of the terrible depression you had fallen into. The days turned into weeks and eventually those weeks will turn into months, then years, and what comes after that? To you, it was pointless to think about it. You couldn't see see yourself that far into the future.
Since the passing, you've been trapping yourself in your home, scared of going back to a normal life as if nothing had happened. Everyone else around had moved on and you were stuck in your bubble, ready to self destruct. But that didn't mean that people were worried about you. Family and friends had visited you often, always bringing some sort of comfort whether it'd be a hug or condolences. And everyone has been telling you the same thing without saying these actual words; Get out of here and take care of yourself, (Y/N).
Thoughts of getting out of your comfort zone was terrifying to say the least.
But it's the little things that make it count, right (Y/N)?
You sighed heavily, pushing off the mountain of blankets that suffocated you. Now sitting up right, you reached for your phone that was laying on the ground, wondering to yourself how it got there. You turned on the device to see a generous amount of unread messages from your friends. Most were from the mutant brothers and April. And Leonardo Hamato was the one who mostly blew up your phone. Your brightly lit screen turned off and your reflection became visible on screen. You were stuck facing a void of nothingness.
You managed to read a few of the messages that were left of your friends. April came by everyday, always bringing some type of snack and comfort. And on the days she couldn't visit, she would always send you a message of encouraging words. But she made her visits short, knowing you needed personal space. The turtle brothers would text you almost everyday as well. You had all created a group chat full of stupid nonsense that you all texted. They would send you updates of their everyday activities, even if you didn't see the messages.
Leo didn't text in the group chat, instead he would text you individually. And it was almost the same thing everyday. He would text you about his day, how he was feeling, what he ate that day, and even throws in a couple of his jokes. Sometimes, Leo would ask how your day had been, even if you didn't respond to him back. He would ask you if you ate or got dressed. On a couple of occasions, he had invited you over for dinner or movie nights. You never responded.
It was as if Leonardo was talking to a ghost.
As of recently though, you had noticed small items being left just outside of your window. Last night, a pile of comics were laid out with a sticky note reading; These are some of my most prized possessions. I'm hoping to get them back so please enjoy! btw: movie night tomorrow so don't forget!!
No doubt, Leo was getting impatient with your isolation. His written sentence was stuck in your head and gave you a clue as to why. "I'm hoping to get them back."
You placed your hands in your palms, trying your best to bury yourself in them. These little daily reminders from everyone made you feel more guilty. You find it hard to take it step by step. Hell, it was difficult enough to shower properly, so you couldn't imagine your life going back to normal when all you wanted to do was see them again.
You blinked up, suddenly shutting your eyes to fight the tears that threatened to spill. Wincing at the pain in your chest, you got up from your bed, making your way to the bathroom. You hadn't realized that it was a little past noon when you finally had the urge to get out of bed. Trudging your feet on the floor lazily, you slowly opened the door to your bathroom.
The bathroom was the second room you spent most of your time in. If you weren't crying in your bedroom, you were certainly in the bathroom. Your family worried you spending time in there. They were afraid that you might be doing God knows what with the items that were located in the bathroom. You remembered the conversation you had last time you talked with them.
"Don't you dare scold me for staying in there for a long time! It's not like I'm a suicidal psycho tearing my body open just so I can feel something! So stop treating me like so!"
You cringed at your words of the past. That conversation was the final straw for everyone and they've just decided to leave you alone. Which, of course, was fine with you.
Since doing simple tasks were a challenge for you, you decided to simplify those tasks. You tried to wash your face on a daily and brush your teeth. You would spray dry shampoo in your hair and brushed it out at least once a day.
But, today was more difficult than ever. As soon as you walked into the bathroom, you were met with a different version of yourself. You didn't liked what you saw, it even scared you a little. You stared long and hard at your reflection, wondering if it was going to pop out at you and destroy you even more. But before your other self could even think, you let out a raging yell as your fists made contact with the glass, creating a sense of urgency in your mind. Glass is beautiful but it's too precious for your own bitterness to yourself.
You could've sworn you saw your other half's expression as fear crossed their face. Oh the horrors they saw.
"Why can't I do stupid normal things like other stupid normal people can?" You sobbed as trickles of blood rushes down your forearms.
Dammit. Even more damage done.
You thanked the universe that no one was home to rush to your side. Instead of dealing with the trauma that was caused to both the mirror and fists, you backed yourself up against the wall and slid down cautiously. You snapped yourself back to reality as a short whimper left your lips. Bringing your knees to your chest, you stared into nothing as your eyes grew wider.
"Hello? Anyone home?" A voice brought you out of head. April's irregular visits couldn't wait for your breakdown. You knew you couldn't cover anything up and a sense of panic struck you.
To make matters even worse, small shards of glass tumbled down from the doors that April was opening and closing. They were loud enough to be heard outside. "(Y/N)? Don't tell me you're in the bathroom again..." April groaned. "I'm coming in, and I don't care if you're naked!"
"April, don't-!" You cried but it was already to late. April's eyes were round as she dropped whatever it was she brought you. Both of you stared intensely into each others eyes until you noticed April's eyes gleam brightly. "I'm- I'm sorry. I told you not to come in..." April knew you weren't genuine.
Her mouth gaped open. "(Y/N)? C-Can you get up for me please?" You did what you were told and wiped your tears, forgetting that you had bloody palms. April gasped at the amount of blood and looked away, placing a hand on her hip as the other was gently hovering over her mouth. "Okay, it's getting worse. You have no other options but either come with me or let yourself bleed to death of your dirty bathroom floor. Your pick."
April sounded angry in her words, this caused you to feel angered as well. You snarled at the ground with your jaw locked shut. Though April had given you options, you knew she would just force you to go with her. Your glossy eyes looked up to her with a quivering lip. April understood your response and dragged you gently out of the bathroom. She quickly grabbed two old shirts that were laying around your bedroom floor and wrapped them around each fist.
"I'm leaving a note at the door, just in case your family wonders where you are. Know when they're coming back?" April hoped that you'd verbally respond to her but you just shook your head side to side. She sighs. "Well, come on, let's not waste time."
-
Before dragging you out of your apartment, you had already known where April was going to take you. The familiar route to the Hamato's sewer home felt short with April desperation for help. She let you borrow her jacket out in the cold crisp air, constantly rubbing your back.
As you both reached the lair's entrance, April spent no time calling for help. "Hey! Anyone! I need help ASAP!" Instead of waiting for a response, April pulled you in the middle of the skating ramp. It had been a while since you've been in the lair. You careful looked around you, noticing small details like new graffiti on the walls or new fairy lights. You remembered how much Raph liked to put up the glowing lights around the lair because of Mikey's slight fear of the dark. You smile sadly until you heard a voice walking towards you and April.
"(Y/N)? Is that really you?" Of course Raph was the first one to hear April, his instincts were always on point. The eldest brother gawked at your shirt wrapped fists. "Guys, what happened?" He asked nervously.
"(Y/N) got hurt. We need Donnie's help right now where is he?" Right after April said that, you slightly felt yourself losing balance as the room around you was spinning. Raph caught you in time and carried you to Donnie's lab.
"Hey, Dee? We've got a problem and it's not looking good!" Raph placed carefully you on a bed. Donatello spun his chair around at the sudden entrance and gasped at your image. "Jesus, (Y/N). What were you doing this whole time?" He examined you as he unwrapped the shirts from your hands. Dried blood covered your arms and the shirt was absolutely drenched. "Okay, good news is, they haven't lost a lot of blood." He said nervously to both April and Raph. April shot him a look, basically say, They are literally bleeding out right now and you're telling me they haven't lost a lot of blood?!
Then, as if they heard your low groans, Leonardo and Mikey had rushed into the room. "I heard (Y/N)! Is everything okay?!" Mikey rushed at Raph's side.
Leo slowly walked forward, trying to process the scene in front of him. He stood besides April, staring down at your wounds. Everyone understood how scared he was and nervously waited for a word to come out of his mouth.
April was the first the talk. "Don't worry Leo. (Y/N)'s gonna be fine. Donnie said so." Leo turned to his purple masked brother for reassurance. Donnie nodded his head shortly. He turned his attention back to you finishing up with your newly bandaged hands. "(Y/N)'s just malnourished. They need rest for now." Donnie stood up and wiped his hands, cleaning up his work space.
Leo hated seeing you pale in the face. It was like he was truly seeing his ghost for the first time. He swallowed his worries and went over to you and carefully tucked a blanket over your cold body. Leo noticed your blood dried clothes and dirty face. He sighed, sitting himself in a chair next to you, squeezing your hand. "Donnie said your gonna be okay, (Y/N). So promise me that okay?"
You slightly opened your eyes, wincing at the pain of your head. "I'm not dying Leo. I'm just fine." You growled as you pulled your hand away from his. Leo's heart panicked and he got up from the chair. "Fine, don't promise me anything. But I can promise you that you are gonna get better whether you like it or not." He rushed out of the room, bumping shoulders with Mikey and April.
Everyone in the room didn't know whether Leo was angered or determined. If one looked at him, they might even say desperate. "C'mon guys. (Y/N) needs their rest." Raph spoke up as everyone swiftly walked away from your crippling body.
-
"Leo, I'm not gonna tell you again. I don't need you to feed me."
Leo huffed. "If I leave this here for you, you won't even eat any of it! I'm doing you a favor." He pushed the spoon in front of you again and you defeatedly took a bite. "Atta girl! See? That wasn't so bad? Mikey's soup today is real good. I ate three bowls myself!" Leo rambled on.
It had been the next morning and Leo's attitude from yesterday had completely changed. He volunteered himself to help you around 24/7. Or at least, that's what April had told you. You still weren't exactly thrilled with the fact that you were being taken care of. You felt guilty for making your friends and family worry, you were like space that could easily be removed. You could really use the company from them.
You were too caught up in your head to not realize that you had finished the bowl. "Yes! Improvement! You're getting better and better already." Leo grins widely at you. That bowl had been the first full meal you had eaten in a while. With no reaction, you pulled the blanket off of you and sat on the edge of the bed. The sudden movement made Leo jump back a bit. "Woah. What's wrong?"
You gave him a glare and prepared yourself to get up. Seeing you struggle made Leo cringe but he knew that you would just get mad if he helped. "I'm assuming you don't want help?" This earned him another glare from you and he flinched once again. You sighed and placed your hand in his. Leo immediately stood up and helped you out of the bed.
"Whew. So where do you wanna go?" Leo stood next to you.
"I have to talk to April. I know she won't let me leave the lair unless she says so." You limped towards the doorway.
"Uh, (Y/N)? April's not here today." Leo fidgeted with his fingers. "She specifically instructed me to keep you in here until Donnie tells you it's okay to leave." He confidently pointed a finger in the air. He walked over to you and examined your clothes. "Besides, don't you wanna look and feel clean before heading home?"
You looked down at your disgusting clothes, embarrassed that you arrived looking how you did. "I don't got clothes."
Leo laughs loudly. "Lucky for you, sweetheart, I have the perfect outfit for you. Also I planned the rest of the day so you don't have to lay in bed all day!" He flops an arm around your shoulders.
"I dunno Leo. I don't think it's worth it to spend your day taking care of me." Blush had spread across your face from the turtle's action. Leo gasps dramatically and turns you around to face him directly in the eyes.
"(Y/N) (L/N). Do not think that you are a waste of my time. I will happily spend time with you over any day if it means seeing you happy. Don't forget it." His tone was softer than usual and had caught you off guard. You bite your lip nervously. "Alright, well, where do we start then?" You asked.
"Let's get you cleaned up, kay?"
-
"Alright, so Donnie said to change the bandages everyday or sooner if the bandages get wet. I think we'll just leave them on!" Leo was helping you get cleaned up and he started with giving you a bath, although you had told him that it wasn't necessary. He had given you his swim shorts and tank top so you wouldn't feel uncomfortable. You were sitting in the tub with the warm water soothing your skin. You didn't want to admit it but it was relaxing to say the least. It had been a while since you had a proper bath.
Leo sat himself on a stool next to the tub. He grabbed a shampoo bottle and squeezed some out. He rubbed his hands together and with caution, he began to gently rub your head and play with your hair. "Lemme know if it hurts, kay?" You hummed at his words and closed your eyes. His touch was gentle and it comforted you. You felt yourself sink into the lukewarm water as Leo continued his work. He rubbed circles all over your scalp and gently combed your hair with his fingers.
As you were drifting off to sleep, you heard Leo's voice. He had been awfully quiet and serious the whole time. "Close your eyes and lean back a little." You did so and he carefully rinsed the bubbles out of your hair. You caught his eyes and stared into him for a while. He notices this and chuckles. "Come here often?" You slightly laugh at his smug look and once he was done rinsing, you sat back into a comfortable position.
"Want me to do anything else? Do I need to shave something or...?" Leo jokes and you send him a small splash. He was mesmerized with your small smiles. To Leo, that was enough to make his heart flutter.
"You jerk!" You scoffed. "Leo, I..." You said as you shifted to a more serious tone. "...thanks for this. I have been working hard enough to take care of myself. I'm sorry for being a pain earlier. I appreciate you."
Leo is an absolute awe of your ability to thank him for such a task. He smiled softly. "Anytime, (Y/N). Now let's get you outta here and into some comfortable clothes!" Leo stood up and helped you out of the tub, handing you a towel and some clothes. He left the bathroom to give you privacy as you got yourself ready.
-
"I knew you'd look good in that hoodie." Leo stood by the bathroom doorway, admiring you in his clothes. Faint blush was visible across your cheeks.
"It's really comfortable, thanks." You managed to make out.
"I'd even say you look better than me in it." He continued showering you with compliments.
"Wow. Is that a back handed compliment or was it genuine?" You teased him. Leo was happy to see you finally come back.
"Nah, it was genuine. Now let's do something fun! What can we do in this boring space?!" He jokingly groaned out.
"How about you show me some new moves that you learned on your skateboard? I'm sure you learned a lot." You suggested. Leo's eyes widen at the idea.
"Ohoho, you're gonna love what I learned while you were gone!" He dragged you to the skating ramp and sat you in a beanbag. He made his way up to the ramp and skated down gracefully with a promised new move. You clapped at his trick as he continued to show off. Suddenly, you were sent into a daze, remembering of their passing. You felt a pain in your chest as tears threatened to spill.
You shut your eyes and shook your head, hoping that would make the memories disappear.
"Hey (Y/N)! You still watching?" Leo exclaimed from the top of the ramp as he saw you zone out. He quickly got down and rushed by your side. "Hey, you with me?" He caressed your cheek, wiping away a small tear that left your right eye.
You sniffled and snapped back into your reality, facing Leo. "I'm sorry. I'm fine now. Are you done with your tricks?" You tilted your head to the side.
Leo shook his head. "Nah. I got bored. Wanna...talk about it (Y/N)? We can totally just head back to bed if you need to rest." He sounded concerned, and that made you feel guilty.
"I don't know if I need rest, I couldn't sleep much last night, I'm scared I'll disappear." You sighed. "Sorry for making you worried."
Leo scoffs. "Stop apologizing! You don't have to do anything, you've done enough." He stood up and helped you up as well. "I'm the caretaker so I say we head to bed! Vámonos!" He grabbed your hand once again and walked with you to his room. It was dimly lit with bright yellow toned fairy lights. It looked exactly like how you remembered.
Leo laid in his bed and patted the spot next to him, signaling you to do the same. You laid in the soft mattress as Leo pulled the blankets up on both of you. Now facing each other, you sighed heavily into the bed.
"I forgot how comfy your bed is compared to mine." You chuckled.
"Well that means you gotta sleepover more often." Leo teases. You smile and it soon faded into a small pout.
Leo's face relaxes but his brows furrowed with concern. "(Y/N), why don't you want to talk about them?" He hit you right away with it. The dreadful question that you have been avoiding. "Sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable! I just wanted to let you know that I'm here to listen." He quickly said, noticing your troubled eyes.
You exhaled deeply. "I didn't really want to talk about it but I thought I moved on like everyone else. It's weird being the only one mourning right now. It seems as of though no one really cared for them." You paused, unsure if you had bored Leo, but, he was staring right you, waiting for you to continue. "I had never dealt with this sort of situation. So I guess it's harder. But, I know that whatever direction I'm going towards, they wouldn't be proud."
You stopped, knowing you reached your limit when you felt small tears drip from you eyes. Leo quickly wiped the tears away and spoke up. "I don't know if they're proud of you (Y/N). No one does. But I know that they would want the absolute best for you and send you the support and happiness you need and deserve."
You smiled at his words of encouragement, trying your best to not let any tears come out. "Yeah. Sounds like something they would do."
You grabbed Leo's hand and placed his palm on your cheek, slightly nuzzling in his hand. "I don't know how you managed to turn my life around Hamato Leonardo, but I seriously can't thank you enough." Leo was taken back by your sudden affection but had no complaints. He rubbed your cheek over with his thumb gently as he took in every image of you.
"Sometimes, we all need is a little push to get started. It's okay to ask for help. Just know that your Prince Charming will always be there for you!" Leo exclaimed with pride. You laugh at his well timed joke and leaned in close to his lips.
Leo got nervous at this but confidently leaned forward to closed the gap that separated the two of you. The kiss was sweet and short. You pulled away, leaving Leo with the desire of your lips.
"That was totally worth the wait, let's do it again!" He managed out.
You rolled your eyes as you got closer to him and gave him another kiss, this time, lasting a bit longer. Leo grunted softly on your lips as the two of you desperately were getting needy of each others touch. Leo found his way to your waist and rested his hands on there. You snaked your arms around his neck, tugging slight at his blue mask tails. The two of you finally broke apart, gasping softly for air. You stared lovingly into each others eyes for what seemed like forever.
"God, I hope you visit like this all the time!" Leo slightly slurred his sentence.
"Leo..." You started.
"Promise me that (Y/N)." Leo's voice got quieter as he waited for your response.
You pecked his beak softly and smiled. "I promise."
-
boy was this a longer chapter! I feel like I kind of vented a bit into this one :,)
I hope you enjoy this chapter and continue to support my work <3
- vani