Me every 24 hours: TIME TO UPDATE AGAIN WOOOOO
Eat food, drink water, and get 5+ hours of sleep today or the coffee gets it ☕️ 🔫
"It's really crazy how ever single day I wake up, AGAINST MY FUCKING WILL." Killua greeted.
"You good?" Shalnark asked.
"Actually, you won't wake up if you don't go to sleep." I corrected.
"Goddamnit. Are you good?" Shalnark asked.
"Yes. Definitely. Okay. That is what I am. I am okay. Yes." I replied.
"Mhm. I believe you. Believe. That is what I am doing. Believing you. Yes." Shalnark mocked.
"Whatever. I'm bored." I complained.
"Weird, it almost seems like that's a personal problem." Shalnark replied.
"Killuaaaaa, I'm boreddddd." I whined.
"And I broke eighteen of my bones and ended up fainting due to blood loss yesterday. Now we both have personal problems to solve."
"Rude."
"Killua, how the fuck did you break eighteen bones?" Shalnark asked.
"Defenestrated myself to get away from a certain pedophile." Killua answered.
"I- I'm going to kill that fucking pedophile."
"It's not that big of deal. We were only on the fiftieth floor."
"The fiftieth what!? How is that not a big deal!?"
"I had my yo-yo on me."
"How the fuck does that change anything!?"
"Stop being so worried. It was only eighteen bones."
"You are going to give me a fucking heart attack one of these days."
"Mhm. Fucking old man."
"I'm only, like, twenty."
"That's what they all say."
"I feel like this a perfect time to say: I didn't know she was twelve!" I said.
"Can you literally only talk in vine references?" Shalnark asked.
"I may not be fluent in English, but I'm fucking fluent in vine!" I replied.
"What is wrong with you..." Shalnark mumbled. Would you like that in alphabetical order or-
"Do not answer that. I don't want to know." Shalnark added. Oh. Sad. I had a list and everything. (Sad autocorrected to Dad and I was like "Well yes, but actually no.")
"Aw man, I got my list out and everything." Killua complained.
"Creeper, Aww man."
"So we back in the mine, got our pick axe swinging from side to side."
"Side, side to side."
"This task a grueling one, hope to find some diamonds tonight, night, night."
"Diamonds tonight."
"Heads up, you hear a sound, turn around and look up, total shock fills your body."
"Oh no it's you again."
"I could never forget those eyes, eyes, eyes."
"Eyes, eyes, eyes."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again."
"'Cause baby tonight, you grab your pick, shovel and bolt again."
"And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn'."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again."
"Just when you think you're safe, overhear some hissing from right behind."
"Right, right behind."
"That's a nice life you have, shame it's gotta end at this time, time, time."
"Time, time, time, time."
"Blows up, then your health bar drops, you could use a 1-up, get inside don't be tardy."
"So now you're stuck in there, half a heart is left but don't die, die, die."
"Die, die, die, die."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all your stuff again."
"'Cause baby tonight, you grab your pick, shovel and bolt again."
"And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn'."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all your stuff again."
"Creepers, you're mine."
"Dig up diamonds, and craft those diamonds and make some armor."
"Get it baby, go and forge that like you so, MLG pro."
"The sword's made of diamonds, so come at me bro."
"Training in your room under the torch light."
"Hone that form to get you ready for the big fight."
"Every single day and the whole night,
Creeper's out prowlin' - alright."
"Look at me, look at you."
"Take my revenge that's what I'm gonna do."
"I'm a warrior baby, what else is new."
"And my blade's gonna tear through you."
"Bring it."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again."
"Yeah baby tonight, grab your sword, armor and gold, take your revenge."
"So fight, fight like it's the last, last night of your life, life, show them your bite."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creeper's trying to steal all our stuff again."
"'Cause baby tonight, you grab your pick, shovel and bolt again."
"And run, run until it's done, done, until the sun comes up in the morn'."
"'Cause baby tonight, the creepers tried to steal all our stuff again."
"...Well now I want to play Minecraft." I said.
"Oh yeah, because that always works out well." Shalnark scoffed. I'll have you know that Jinx has never died once... Jinx has never died twice in any of our Minecraft worlds. Fucking Killua. You can't give a cat a chocolate chip cookie. It's murder, not 'increasing its poison immunity'.
"The chaos makes it even better." Killua stated.
"Exactly! Now, who's creating the world?" I asked.
______
"Y/n your cat is cute." Killua complimented. You think every cat is cute. And Jinx prefers not to be called cute. He is a god of chaos. He causes despair wherever he goes. ...I swear I'm not emo guys. Source: Trust me bro.
"And wanted for tax fraud." I informed.
"How does a Minecraft cat even become wanted for tax fraud?" Shalnark asked.
"By committing tax fraud." I explained.
"Yeah I walked straight into that one."
"You can't walk straight. Your married to a male. Do you need-"
"Killua, if you ask if I need marriage counseling one more time I will ground you for life."
"Okay, I won't ask if you need marriage counseling again."
"Thank you."
"You need marriage counseling."
"I'm going to kill myself."
"And leave your husband all alone, to fend for himself? I think you need-" I said.
"Finish that fucking sentence. I dare you." Shalnark threatened. I'm not scared of you. Im not scared of anything. ...I take that back, I'm scared of being grounded from coffee and energy drinks.
"Marriage counseling." I finished.
"I will tear your family members apart piece by fucking piece and you to watch."
"Cool. Are you gonna get me popcorn or should I bring some?" I asked.
"Don't worry. I'll handle getting snacks." Killua said.
"Aww. Thanks. This will be the best movie-night ever. ...Technically not a movie though."
"I hate both of you."
Shalnark has left the call
About thirty minutes later
Shalnark has joined the call
"I'm just saying, if god didn't want us to snort worms he wouldn't have made them cylindrical." I stated.
"Exactly!"
"I'm not even confused at this point. Both of you are the reason shampoo has instructions."
"To be fair, we are seven." Killua said.
"Yeah, yeah. Fucking five year olds.
Y/n has sent a photo
"Did you just have that saved?" Shalnark asked.
"Yes. My only skill is finding memes in my phone before we switch topics in a conversation." I replied.
"I- ...how do I acquire such skill?"
"Practice. ...Or drugs. Both work."
"How does drugs- I'm not going to question it."
"So, Shalnark... what's your opinion on marriage counseling?"
"I swear to fucking god."
Word count: 1284
Fun Facts:
• Woooo Jinx! ...Also have any of you not read my other book? Cuz if you haven't pls tell me if this book doesn't make sense because of all the references 😭😭😭
• Me: *Puts #Drugs cuz I'm bored*
*It becomes the most impressive ranking*
Me: wtf?
• Do I like this chapter? No. Am I going to rewrite it? Also no. Why? Because I'm a lazy fuck.