TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDERS
Sam
I didn't know what it was, but Rory was acting differently the last couple of months. Her behaviour around me and the others was a stark contrast to what it was this time last year. She used to be so loud and bubbly but lately, her shine seemed to have dimmed. Some days she was as quiet as a mouse and anyone who knew Rory knew that wasn't her. She always brushed it off with the same excuse - 'I'm tired'. It was believable at first but as time went on, I was fooled by it less and less.
Her confidence seemed to have dropped massively but that was something I chalked up to the whole Natalie situation. It nearly killed me hearing how she talked about herself a couple of months back. I knew she didn't think of herself as beautiful, but the thought of thinking anything but was baffling, because, to me, she was the most beautiful girl on earth. I just wished she saw herself the way I did.
Her withdrawal from the world around her whenever we were together worried me and I wasn't sure how much longer I could accept her feeble excuse. Like now. The two of us had taken a trip down to the beach, making the most of the warm-ish weather before the last of the summer dissipated, but she hadn't spoken a word since we had left. I was so engrossed in the story that I was relaying to her that I didn't immediately pick up on her distant hums and half-hearted yeah's.
"Rory, what's gan on with ya?" I asked her lightly as we settled on a raised sand dune.
"Hmm?" she frowned. "What d'ya mean?"
"You're very... quiet. S'not like you at all," I sighed, pulling my knees into my chest and wrapping my arms around them tightly.
"I'm just tired, s'all," she smiled assuringly, but I wasn't assured in the slightest.
"That's the fifth time ya've said that this week," I deadpanned.
"I've been having trouble sleeping." She shrugged as her hands fiddled with the fine sand grains beside her.
"That's bullshit and ya know it," I huffed, finally fed up with her brushing it off as nothing. "If something's on your mind, ya can tell us."
"There's nowt on my mind!" she interjected loudly, before curling back into herself. "I'm fine, Sam."
"If... if it's about... Natalie-"
"It's not," she assured me with a small smile.
"Ya know I think you're fuckin' stunning, I'll tell ya every day if I have to," I told her, resting my cheek on my kneecaps to look at her, studying her reaction carefully.
"It's not that," she repeated. Anyone who didn't know her would have probably believed her, but I noticed the way her nose scrunched up ever so slightly and the transparency behind her eyes. I pursed my lips together tightly as I turned my head to rest my chin on my knees instead and let out a sigh, unsure of whether to push further. Rory, sensing this, linked her arm around mine and rested her head on my shoulder. "I mean it, Sam. I'd tell you if sommat was wrong."
"I'm worried about ya," I muttered, pressing a kiss to her head.
"Cause you're a good boyfriend," she smiled, turning to me and puckering her lips. A soft smile tugged at my own, closing the gap between us and pressing my lips to hers. She hummed contentedly as one of my hands threaded in her hair. "I'm so lucky to have ya."
"Suck up," I teased, wrapping my arm around her to pull her into my side.
"Shut up," she giggled as she poked a finger into my side.
It was getting dark by the time we finally decided to leave the beach, encouraged by our rumbling stomachs and shivering bodies. Summer truly had come and gone. Rory was staying over at mine that night and I was eager to get home, knowing my mam was cooking spaghetti bolognaise that night.
"Mmm smells lush," I hummed as we passed through the front door, the smell immediately hitting us like a bus. "C'mon, I'm starving!"
"You're always starving," my mam replied as we entered the kitchen, having heard my comment.
"I'm a growing lad," I frowned as I took a seat at the table, Rory following suit. It soon turned into a smile though as my mam placed my plate in front of me. "Cheers, mam."
"Thanks, Shirl," Rory smiled softly, accepting the plate of food gratefully. I quickly dug in, needing no encouragement as I began scoffing down the very messy pasta. "Sam, you're gan choke!"
"M'fine," I mumbled with a mouthful, earning an eye roll from my girlfriend, who pushed around the pasta on her plate cautiously with her fork. "It's not poisonous, Scarl."
"If it was, you'd be long gone," she snorted, gesturing to my plate that was already a third empty. "I'm just... not very hungry."
"You've not eaten since before we left," I pointed out.
"I don't know, I just ain't got an appetite," she muttered.
"My cooking's not that bad is it, pet?" my mam asked playfully as she joined me and Rory at the table with her own food.
"No, ya know I love your bolognaise, I'm just really not that hungry," she assured her.
"Please eat sommat," I pleaded with her. She nodded with a smile and hesitantly began twirling the pasta around her fork to eat. By the time she pushed away the plate, she had eaten around half, which I was glad of.
"I can't eat no more," she announced, pushing herself up from the table to empty her plate and put it in the sink. "It was lush, thanks, Shirl."
"No worries, love," my mam smiled.
"I'm just gan pop to the toilet," she told me.
"Alreet," I replied with a subtle frown. It seemed to be almost like a ritual how she went to the toilet after every meal. Come to think of it, it was something she did after every time she ate.
I finished the rest of my plate before discarding it in the sink, following Rory's footsteps cautiously. I paused just outside the bathroom, which was conveniently next door to my room, hearing the sound of Rory coughing through the door followed by the toilet flushing. The sound of running water from the tap echoed through the door with Rory appearing through it no more than ten seconds later.
"Sam! Fuckin' hell, ya scared us," she gasped, clutching her chest.
"Everything alreet?" I asked suspiciously. "I heard coughing."
"Yeah, everything's fine," she laughed, her words wavering slightly. "Ya know me, uh, choke on air like."
"Reet," I frowned, watching as she reached up to wipe the corner of her mouth subtly.
"Uh, we just gan stand here or...?" she questioned, the two of us staring back at each other.
"Hmm? Oh!" I replied, snapping from my thoughts.
"I think it's you I need to be asking if your alreet," she joked, earning a small, forced smile from my lips.
"Aye," I agreed half-heartedly as she tugged on my hand and pulled me into my room. I was distracted the rest of that night, my mind relaying all the evidence presented to me and repeating one question over and over again:
What's going on with you, Scarl?