"Alright Miss, that's about everything, then."
Being forced back into the present moment, I turned to the man who was in charge of packing up all of our things. My vision was slightly blurred as I smiled and nodded in confirmation, thanking him for all his help.
With my thumbnail between my teeth, staring at the empty bedroom, I heard his footsteps creaking on the stairs before he spoke with Harry in the living room. I could hear Harry then confirming the storage unit that all our old furniture would be taken to while we figure out what to do with it all, but I didn't want to think about that right now.
I did honestly expect to get emotional when Harry asked me to move in just two weeks into our new relationship, but I didn't know it would feel like this even after a week of preparing for it. I could swear to you that it was just yesterday that we were both drenched in early summer sweat, moving into our first flat and putting together all of our dirt-cheap furniture by ourselves. I remember feeling so grown up, so excited for our future with no idea what it would hold.
Yes, some of the most painful memories that I carried with me came from this apartment, but in the same respect, all of my favorite memories happened here too. All the times Harry and I have stumbled up those creaking stairs drunk or high, laughing uncontrollably as we'd fall onto the mattress and sleep in our clothes. All the songs he had written in his journal, unbeknownst to me, while I was reading next to him. All the lazy days in bed, the deep conversations, the teasing arguments, the meals made, the movies watched, the music listened to. It all happened here.
I knew we were about to start what would potentially be the most exciting journey our relationship has ever seen, and I was so excited and ready for the three of us to be a family under the same roof, but I didn't think it would be so hard to say goodbye to all of this. I felt like I was giving up a piece of myself, whether that was overdramatic or not. This was Charlie's first home as much as it was mine and Harry's. It was a special place.
"K, Stella I think..." Harry trailed off as he walked in to see me facing the empty space where our bed and two nightstands used to be. I had my hand over my mouth to keep from sobbing too loudly, but it was obvious enough that I was crying, I guess.
The hardwood creaked quietly under every step he made toward me, holding Charlie on his hip. I wanted to apologize for crying, but I was afraid if I opened my mouth then I wouldn't be able to keep it under control. Charlie never really saw me cry, and I didn't want to scare her now.
"Hey," Harry let her slide down to the floor, then gently held the back of my neck to bring me into his chest. "I know it's hard, huh?"
His confirmation only made me cry harder, muffling the sob into his jumper. Charlie tugged at my jeans with a puppy dog pout of her own, clutching Ellie in her free hand. I laughed through my cries at that point, apologizing to her as I crouched down to pick her up. She looked so sad for me, understanding that crying meant sadness in most cases.
"Why you cry, mama?" She tilted her head at me. "You sad?"
For fucks sake, neither of these two people were helping me.
"Yeah, mama's just a little sad, baby," I sniffled and pressed a kiss to her cheek despite the tears streaming down my own. She hugged my neck the same way I hug her when she was upset, forcing me to shake my head as I rubbed her back and sort of bounced her a little.
"You...I mean, you wanted this right?" Harry asked, a look of concern on his face as though maybe he thought he pressured me into moving out. I guess he did a little bit, but that was just because he was eager to have us all be together, and I wanted that too.
"Of course," I nodded in confidence. "I'm so excited to live with you again, and I don't even care where that place is, but it's just...there's so many memories here, y'know? Like, this was both of our first ever apartment in general, let alone our first place together. Everything happened here."
A soft, sentimental look washed over his face as he started glancing around the room. It was like I could see the memories coming back to him as his eyes shifted up to the ceiling. He wrinkled his nose with a sniffle. "Shit, now you're gonna get me started."
"Sorry," I chuckled, holding the side of his neck to brush my thumb under his jaw. "What I do know, is that 'home' isn't a place, but the people who make it that way. You and Charlie are my home...I just wish we could take the place with us too. I want it all."
He laughed as he pulled me in to bring his lips to my forehead. "We can make memories in a new place, though, yeah? Just think of all the rooms we still need to fu–"
"Harry," I scolded with a laugh, but I know he wouldn't have finished that sentence in front of Charlie anyway. He just wanted to make me smile, and it worked.
"But really," he chuckled softly. "This new house...it's gonna be great in its own way, Stella. We'll get to be a family, all three of us. You two will be safe and won't have to worry about paparazzi or even fans potentially showing up here to try and get a photograph for some stupid article, we can take walks around the neighborhood, and we can teach Charlie to swim in the summer when it's time, she'll have a yard to run around in, and we can be together. That's the most important part, and I just wanna take care of you both, y'know?"
His little speech only brought a fresh round of tears as I reached up to kiss him. At the smacking sound, Charlie turned her head and pursed her lips to have one in return. Harry laughed as he complied, earning a cheesy little smile from her until we were both laughing.
"You're right," I nodded, smiling at the space. "I'm gonna miss it so much, but I just wanna be wherever you are. If that's a Hampstead mansion, I guess I can suffer through it."
He laughed at me, stealing two more kisses from my lips. "Good, I'm glad."
With a heavy, humming sigh, I turned to Charlie. "Are you ready to go home, baby?"
"Ready," she confirmed, and that only further proved my point about "home" being more than just a house. For her, home was wherever Harry and I were, and now she got to have us in the same one. Soon enough, she'd come to realize just how special that is.
"Let's go, then," I nodded, taking the first step back toward the stairs. My emotions were too high to pay the other rooms the same amount of attention, but I had already taken pictures before and after the movers came and left. Not to mention the thousands that resided in my camera roll, starting with the first move-in day. Somewhere, I still had that picture of a shirtless, sweaty Harry carrying our first shared mattress up the stairs.
Harry locked up after us and followed Charlie and me toward the car. I was sad to find that Mrs. Sykes was out of town, but I texted her my goodbye and promised that I would bring Charlie around to see her every once in a while, and saved her address so that we could send her letters in the mail. Being an elderly woman and all, she was fond of those.
"Say bye-bye house," I said to Charlie.
"Bye-bye house!" She waved and kicked her little legs in her car seat, and her optimism made me feel better as Harry took my hand to hold over the center consul. He gave me a reassuring squeeze, followed by a kiss on the back of my hand as he started to drive us to our new home.
I think what would really help, was the fact that all of our friends were coming over tonight to not only celebrate the move, but my birthday as well. In retrospect, I suppose receiving a bought and paid-for mansion for a 24th birthday present wasn't the worst thing in the world, and certainly not what I was expecting at this age.
"Did you want me to send Christian to the shops to get everything we need for dinner tonight?" Harry asked, inching to a stop at a red light.
"No, I think I actually wanted to go myself," I said. "You guys can come too if you want, but I wanna get used to the store that I'll be going to more regularly now."
"What do you think, babe?" Harry glanced over to Charlie in the rearview. "Wanna go to the store with mum?"
"Yeah!"
"Alright," he pushed forward as the light turned green, and the string of shops was just about half a mile past our neighborhood entrance. From what I could see, there was a local cafe, a juice and smoothie shop, some kind of upscale specialized pilates place, and the grocery store.
As Harry parked my car, I realized this would be the first time we were casually going out in public since we started seeing each other again. He had been busy working on his album with Mitch and Sarah, doing all the legwork before they'd get into the studio, and I was booking new clients or doing last-minute photoshoots. The process of moving out of the flat also took up a lot of our time, and someone obviously needed to be home with Charlie.
But now that there was no confusion as to where Harry and I stood with each other, and we were no longer co-parents while I was in a relationship with someone else, I wasn't quite so weary about being out with him. Derek was no longer on my mind in the sense that if any pictures got out, I would have to feel guilty for being seen with my ex-boyfriend so soon after our relationship ended.
I guess the only sad thing about that, was that he was now in the same position as I was when I had to watch Harry publicly move on. Maybe it was worse for Derek, seeing as he had to watch me publicly move on with the man he was expecting to be the cause of the end of our relationship this whole time. He got to say "I told you so", and he was right.
"Do you have a list?" Harry asked, pulling me out of my own head as he placed Charlie in the cart.
I looked up at him with a soft smile, pleased just to hear his voice right beside me. "Yeah, we shouldn't be here too long."
"Okay," he simply folded his arms on the cart handle bar, hunching over as he pushed it along just like he did when we would do our grocery shopping just the two of us.
He wore a hoodie today so his tattoos were covered, but with his sunglasses up in his hair, his face was vulnerable to be noticed. And it was. I thought it was funny how middle-aged people would make double-takes at him like they knew they recognized him from somewhere, but anyone under the age of about 25 didn't have to wonder. They knew instantly who he was, and it showed in the way their eyes would widen, their lips would part, and their cheeks would flush.
Harry, I noticed, would either avoid eye contact at all costs, or he would smile tightly at them the way you do when you meet someone's gaze. But now with Charlie in front of him, he kept his attention on her as he asked her random questions and tried to understand her babbling answers. Just like at Abbey Road, I think he figured that if he was with her, people would respect his space.
"So we just decided on a big Italian dinner, right?" I double-checked to confirm with him before I could grab a few boxes of pasta.
"Whatever you want," he nodded. "It's your birthday, but that sounds really good to me."
"Okay, yeah," I grabbed three boxes of spaghetti, and two penne just in case I changed my mind at the last second.
Following the recipe for both the tomato and cream sauces, I picked out the ingredients accordingly until our cart was filled with what would obviously be an Italian-themed dinner. Harry really wanted to take me out to a restaurant so that I wouldn't have to cook, but I wanted to be comfortable with all our friends in what was now our new house. I didn't want to be glancing over my shoulder to see if anyone was taking pictures of us.
Along with what we had, I restocked us on the basics of what we ate every day and added a few impulse buys, like the marshmallow chocolate chip cookie dough, and fresh chocolate croissants from the bakery. Charlie was no longer able to fit in the cart at that point, so Harry had her in his arms while I started unloading everything onto the conveyer belt.
Harry used his phone to pay for everything, which only reminded me that we needed to have a conversation about finances. If we were married, I would assume that all of my money would belong to him and vice versa, but that wasn't the case. Despite how well we knew and trusted each other, I didn't know how comfortable I felt letting him pay for everything we did. Like, if I wanted to go shopping for clothes, I wouldn't expect him to hand his credit card over for me to go crazy with.
"So that wasn't so bad, right?" I sighed, tapping the button to let the trunk close on its own.
"Not at all," he assured me as he shut Charlie's door to climb into the driver's seat.
"I think Charlie is like the magic charm. I don't think they wanna bother you if you're with her."
"Guess not," he chuckled. "Might just have to carry her around everywhere I go now, like a little human shield."
I smiled as I spared a glance back at her, so unaware of anything other than the stuffed elephant in her lap. It was absolutely wild to think that someday she'd be a teenager, and she'd really understand what it meant for Harry to be her dad. Along with just the people who knew Harry before all of this, she'd be the only one out of a few that didn't give a shit if he was famous or not. He was simply just her dad before he was anything else.
When we arrived back home, it felt a little different walking through the front door. Not that I ever viewed the flat as a backup plan in case living together didn't work out, but this was all I had now. There was nowhere else to go. That couch was now my couch to sit on, the kitchen was now my kitchen to cook in, and the bed upstairs was now mine to sleep in. It wasn't just Harry's house anymore, even if I still had a hard time correcting myself when referring to it.
"Have to go potty!" Charlie suddenly yelled from the living room, holding her pants with her little puffer jacket still on.
"Okay, let's hurry!" Harry matched her urgency and ran over to snatch her up so he could take her to the closest guest bathroom downstairs.
"I gonna pee!" She screeched.
"No, no, no, no, no," Harry rounded the hallway, leaving me laughing in the kitchen as I started to unload our groceries.
I already had a large saucepan filled with olive oil to heat on the stove when Hazel texted me and asked when was the earliest they were allowed to come. We planned for 6:00 and it was only 4:30 now, but before I could even type up a response she said that she was already on her way with Zayn, Niall, and Alice. Everyone loved being at the house for as long as they were allowed to be, and I couldn't blame them for that.
"Did you make it?" I asked as Charlie came bolting from down that same hallway.
"Made it!"
I exhaled a dramatic sigh of relief as Harry returned with an exhausted look on his face. If only he knew how lucky he was not to experience all the moments she didn't quite make it. I don't know how many pairs of pants, shorts, and underwear have been lost to her potty training era.
"Everyone but Louis and Audrey are on their way," I explained as he came in to join me in the kitchen, "but I'm guessing once they realize everyone is here then they'll come early too."
"Thought we said six," he unwrapped one of the two long French baguettes to cut himself a slice.
"We did," I chuckled. "They just wanna be here."
Popping the bread in his mouth, his jaw flexed with every bite as he nodded indifferently. "Fine with me–also, did you want your present now? Or later?"
I paused on squishing garlic in the press to narrow my eyes at him. "I thought I said no actual presents? You paying for the move was a present, and letting me move into your mansion for free was a second present."
"You did say that, but I never agreed," he reminded me with a little smirk. "Also, enough with the 'your' mansion. This is our house. It was our house when I bought it myself before you even agreed to move in."
"Okay, well still," I grunted as I clamped the press together and scraped the garlic into the pan. "I don't need any more gifts from you, H."
"I think you'll change your mind when you see it," he came over to look at the recipe on my phone from over my shoulder but hesitated on helping me just yet. His hands were occupied on my hips for the time being.
"Can you give me a hint?"
"Uh-uh," he slipped his arms around my waist as I added a few more cloves of garlic.
"Is it clothes?"
He laughed then, releasing me to start chopping the shallots. "What did I just say?"
While we made the sauce together, he let me make guess after guess about what kind of gift he could've picked out for me but kept his mouth happily shut. By the time I ran out of ideas, the doorbell was ringing and he was jogging out of the kitchen to let our friends in. Charlie screamed at the sound of a loud roar that I'm sure came from Zayn.
I dumped all three boxes of spaghetti into the boiling water and watched as Zayn appeared with Charlie's ankles clutched in his fists, hanging her upside down. Her face was bright red and her giggles went silent from just how hard she was laughing. Even Zayn was losing it as he finally set her gently on the rug, giving her a break for just a second before he was tickling her underarms and belly.
"Happy birthday, Stella," Alice said first, greeting me with a dimpled smile and half hug.
"Thank you," I stopped cutting the baguette to give her a full embrace.
"Hazel said you and Charlie are officially moved out of the flat now?"
"Mhm," I mimicked her pout. "It's sad, but I'm obviously more than happy to be here."
She nodded sympathetically, watching as I stopped my timer for the pasta to strain the water out in the sink. "I'm sure it'll be a small adjustment, but I mean...I'd give up just about anything to live here."
"Right," I laughed with her. "I think having a housekeeper come once a week will be my favorite thing about it...other than, y'know, being with Harry and Charlie all the time."
She laughed at the tight smile I offered for not giving that reason first, and Hazel came in to squeal a "Happy birthday" out to me. I hugged her in return and took both girls up on their offer to help me get started on the second sauce.
In the living room, I could hear Charlie saying "daddy" over and over again while he was trying to have a conversation with Niall about how the pub was doing. I curiously looked over to see what his reaction would be to that, knowing he wasn't the most patient man on the planet, but he picked her right up to smother her cheeks in kisses while still listening to what Niall was saying. That was a good sign.
Maybe a half hour later, Louis and Audrey showed up just in time for the garlic bread to be coming out of the oven, and half of the pasta to be divided evenly into the separate sauces. Alice was already finished with the salad, and Hazel was setting the kitchen table for me however she saw fit.
Casually, everyone grabbed a plate to serve themselves from the island, but Harry made Charlie's plate up before piecing together his own. Her highchair and toys were really the only things we brought over from the flat, and I will say that it felt more like home now that she had a proper place to sit at the table.
"Wait! Nobody eat yet!" Hazel scooted her chair back and raised her glass of wine, effectively silencing all the conversations. "I just wanna say something."
"Oh, God," I muttered, already feeling emotional enough about today.
"Shut up," she laughed at me. "First of all, I just wanna say that as much as I did like Derek, thank God you two are back together. We honestly all knew it was only a matter of time, but I think I can also speak for all of us when I say that we're so happy to have you under the same roof, and like...I don't know. Everything feels like it was supposed to be all along, even if it took a little time."
I shared a look with Harry, only smiling when I saw him fighting his own by running his hand across his jaw. "Thanks, Haze. I agree."
"And also, happy birthday, Stella," she tilted her head at me with a little smirk, and I thanked everyone as they repeated after her with our glasses clinking together. Harry nudged his glass to Charlie's sippy cup where she sat beside him across from me.
As we ate, all of us talking over each other to hold separate conversations or join in on another, I remember thinking that this is what home is supposed to be.
This is what home was when Harry and I lived in the flat and we did dinners like this, and without knowing it, this is what home was when we were all crowded around in that diner booth as 18 and 19-year-olds. It was the same feeling I had on Thanksgiving and Christmas growing up back home. It was family.
The table was still cluttered even after we all finished and sat around to keep talking, but Harry took it upon himself to start taking all the plates and dishes back to the sink and island to make room for the birthday cake he bought me. I think all of us were still full, but it was nearing Charlie's bedtime and I didn't want her to miss out on it.
I pulled her from her high chair to sit her in my lap as Harry set the chocolate cake in front of me, which just so happened to be a replica of the cake he made me for my 20th birthday. It said Love, H, but in cursive icing writing, and the ganache had this ridiculous shine that I think only professional bakers could really achieve.
"That's hilarious, thank you," I chuckled to him as I took a picture, seeing it for the first time.
"Mhm," he stood behind me to light the candles surrounding the round top, leaning over to kiss the top of my head as Hazel killed the lights.
As they sang to me, I had to keep Charlie from touching the candles when she kept reaching out with her little pointer finger. She knew the words to the song, simply because it was the same one we sang when we washed our hands for the suggested 20 seconds, but it was funny to hear her try and sing louder than everyone else.
"Okay, we have to close our eyes and make a wish now," I instructed her, and she complied by squeezing her eyes shut as she started to blow air with puffed cheeks.
I used to take birthday wishes annoyingly seriously. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew it was a hoax, but I still wished for something every single year depending on what was going on in my life. This time, I was only laughing as I helped Charlie blow out all the little flames. I had nothing to wish for, not when I had everything I wanted right in front of me.
Harry tipped my head back for me to press a kiss to my lips, then another to my cheek before the lights came back on. Alice was the one who offered to cut the cake into more or less perfect slices, offering the thinnest one to Charlie per my request. I hoped that the sugar wouldn't stimulate her too much so close to bedtime, but she was slowly passing out with a chocolate mustache and beard in my lap.
"You wanna say nightnight to everyone?" I stood with her on my hip after wiping her mouth clean.
"Night-night," she flapped her wrist for a wave, but still obediently gave kisses to everyone who asked...which was everyone. Harry followed me upstairs to her bedroom, where I changed her into a warm onesie and he brushed her teeth.
"Love you," he murmured into her cheek after me, pressing a kiss there as she let me set her down in the crib.
We were lucky enough that she didn't fuss once I turned her sound machine on, but having everyone over like this usually did the trick. The more excited she is throughout the day, the easier it is for her to pass out on time.
"Hey, so I wanna take you somewhere," Harry whispered as we closed her bedroom door.
"What? Where?"
"It's a surprise," he cupped my face to peck my lips. "Hazel and Zayn already said they wouldn't mind sticking around here until we got back, but it shouldn't take too long anyway. Besides, I think they're all happy to stay."
"Okay, but where–"
"C'mon," he took my hand to pull me along downstairs where everyone was still enjoying their cake and whatever was in their glasses at this point. Nobody else seemed to know where he was taking me when he announced that we would be back in an hour and a half, give or take, and I couldn't even begin to think of where we might be going.
As we settled into his car this time, I asked, "It's not like a public place, right? I'm not even really dressed."
"Yes you are," he laughed, glancing at my jeans and jumper of an outfit. "But no, it's not technically a public place in the sense that we won't be seeing anyone else."
I gave up on guessing and just paid attention to the road like he was. Soon enough, I started to recognize the path as the same one I would take to get from between the house and the flat, but I thought there was no way he was taking me there. What would the point be? It was completely empty, and the electricity was most likely already shut off by now. But that's where we stopped anyway.
"Harry, what are we doing here?"
"Just come on," he smiled to himself, and I followed suit to get out of the car when he did.
I trailed behind him up to the front door, folding my arms over my chest as he used his key to let us in. Once again, I asked him why we were there as he tried turning on the lights with no luck. It was freezing with no heater to ignite, and we now had to use our phone flashlights to guide us up the stairs.
"Okay, listen," he turned to me once we were in our old bedroom, "I know this is really kind of stupid, or cliche, or whatever, but I was thinking about it last night when you were getting all emotional about moving out today."
I shook my head, "Thinking about what?"
He laughed like he knew whatever he was about to say was completely ridiculous. "Well, I was really sad about it too, but I didn't want to tell you that and make you feel worse about the whole thing. And I was thinking about what you said a while back about how you miss being irresponsible."
At that point, I was smiling without knowing the reason yet. "Okay, so...what are we doing here?"
Juggling his phone and keys, he opened up the small pocket knife he's always had on his keyring. I watched him cross the room to where our bed used to be up against the wall, and he took a seat with his flashlight pointing up to the ceiling.
"This was our place first, and I want it to keep being our place even when someone else moves in, so..."
With a dropped jaw, I laughed as he started to carve into the black hardwood floors. Now I understood what he meant about stupid and cliche. "Are you etching our initials into the actual floorboards?"
"Yes," he chuckled at himself as I walked over to join him on my knees. "It'll be small enough that I don't think anyone will notice at first look, but we'll know it's here."
I held my phone to keep the spot illuminated for him, catching the dimple in his cheek while he kept making careful marks into the wood. As for me, I couldn't stop smiling either when this is absolutely something he would have done a few years ago. And even then, I would have told him he was crazy while loving every single second of it.
"I like how it's still just your initials," I laughed at the little H+S he had so far.
"You're right," he tsk'd. "Better add a J just to be safe."
I shifted to sit closer to him on the other side, resting my cheek on his arm that wasn't carving. He was concentrating so deeply with a little pout on his lips, and it was the same face Charlie would always make when she was trying to color in the lines or build a tower of blocks.
"I would say we could add a 'C', but then I'll feel bad for the rest of our three kids that get left out of it."
Despite his seriousness, I laughed. "Right, I forgot we're having three more."
"Yeah, we should get started on that soon," he smirked, brows still furrowed as he swept away the wood dust with his fingers. "Here, you add something."
He handed me the knife, and we switched spots so I could be closer to the engraving. It was a no-brainer for me to add a small heart underneath the three letters, but it certainly wasn't as easy as he made it look. The symbol ended up being a little more angled than I would have liked, but unmistakably a heart, nonetheless.
"There," I smiled and held my light up to the finished product after taking a picture. "It's perfect."
"Completely," he agreed with a curt nod, glancing around the room.
"Was this my present? Because I love it if it is."
As if we were here to stay, he shook his head and shifted to lean up against the wall, next to the new mark we left. "No, but I guess I can tell you what it is now. You just have to come sit on my lap. That's the condition."
I rolled my eyes as if that was such a hardship, and crawled over to straddle his waist with his legs stretched out in front of him. "Okay. What is it?"
After a dramatic pause, he said, "I wanna take you to Italy, but just us. Hazel and Zayn agreed to stay at the house with Charlie for the four days that we'll be gone, and I know you're going to say that you don't wanna leave her and neither do I, but we've never taken a trip just you and me before unless it was to see family. I spent two whole years traveling for the band, and I just remember thinking that I wished you could have been with me."
The idea did immediately excite me, but he was right about me not being overly anxious to leave Charlie for four straight days. I don't think I've been away from her for longer than eight hours, if I was having a long shoot somewhere a little further from home.
"If it's an absolute deal breaker to not leave without her, then we can take her with us," he added. "I just thought it'd be nice for you to not have to worry or stress about anything."
I nodded at his chest, sweeping my thumb back and forth over the side of his neck. "When would we go?"
"Next week. Sort of already have the plane tickets and the hotel booked."
I hung my head to laugh at his somewhat guilty expression. "That does sound really nice, and I would love to, I just don't know how she's going to do without either of us for four days in a row."
"Yeah, but parents take trips sometimes, y'know?" He reminded me. "I think after everything, it just feels important that we spend some time together alone, and that doesn't include just after she goes to bed and before she wakes up."
"Mhm," I started to zone out thinking about how great it would actually be to just have a small break after two and a half years of being a full-time mom, more or less just by myself. And maybe it was important for us to focus on our relationship before he'd have to leave for LA soon, if that's still where he wanted to record his album.
"Looks like you're leaning toward yes," he smirked, lifting my chin until I met his gaze.
"Okay," I smiled. "I think we should."
"Yeah?"
I nodded, staying in place as he pushed forward to kiss me. His skin was so warm in comparison to my icy fingertips, but he didn't complain as I held his neck and leaned my body into his. Somehow, even his hands were warm as he slipped them under the back of my jumper to slide up my spine and back again, squeezing my hips over my jeans.
"Maybe we should go home," I breathed out in the cold as he dragged his lips to my neck instead, widening his mouth to let his tongue roll out.
"How about just one more time here?" He mumbled, his fingers already prying apart the button on my jeans.
"Here?" I scoffed. "It's freezing, and...there's no bed, and..." I trailed off as he wedged his hand into my jeans sucking sloppy kisses to the front of my throat as I swallowed.
"Do you really care right now?"
I opened my eyes to the ceiling, recalling the time he asked me that when we were in the backseat of his car at Regent's Park. A smile grew across my lips as I held the back of his neck, keeping his mouth in place there.
"No. Not really."