CHAPTER FOUR.
The corridors felt like they were falling out from underneath Elly. The anxiety ate her up as she rushed through the Jedi Temple. It felt like her entire world was tilting and her lungs were being crushed as she rushed through to her room. The door whooshed shut behind her as the anxiety squeezed her throat.
Her heart was pounding as she sat down on the bed's edge. Her breathing quickly became heavier but she grabbed a hold of the sheets. Her feet pressed down onto the floor as she tried to gain control of herself again. She knew she could. She had brought herself down from panic attacks before and she wouldn't let this one start.
She forced herself to breathe slowly, trying to get her heartbeat down. It had risen so rapidly, so quickly and she hated when she lost control of herself. It made her feel like she'd lost even more control. It was exhausting. Her body fell backwards against the bed as she managed to slowly bring herself down from the edge of a panic attack.
Her room was quiet. It was large which sometimes made her feel so lonely but it was how she wanted it. Her bed took up most of the space but she had a wardrobe and dresser. They were both made of dura-wood with drawers that - in intervals - got stuck in place, which frustrated Elly to no end but she liked them.
Her whole room had a naturalistic theme to it. Green sheets covered her bed, every corner was covered in plants that she tended to. Her desk had more plants on it than books and looked disused but Elly merely took long breaks between studies. Usually, study helped her calm down but she didn't have the energy to get up from her bed.
Then she heard a knock at the door. She shot upright and then the door whooshed open and Obi-Wan walked in hastily. His face was covered in concern and the door closed behind him as he looked over at her. She sent him a small smile and he sighed, gently shaking his head.
"I should have been here," He said. Elly shrugged and rubbed her eyes, removing any trace of the tears.
"Thank you," She responded. He nodded and moved to sit beside her on the bed. He was facing the wall as the two of them stayed in silence for a few moments. Elly knew what she wanted to say but she knew she couldn't. She couldn't go against the Council but she wanted to. She desperately wanted to.
"Obi-Wan," she began but he could already sense her words. He shook his head as he turned to look at her, "I understand that it is my duty but you understand why I can't do this, don't you?" She asked. Obi-Wan nodded his head but she could tell that it had changed nothing. She could feel it. She had always been able to tell with him.
"The Council is right. You need to join the fight," He responded. The seriousness of his tone made Elly frown. She stood up, pacing across to her wardrobe. She then pulled her cloak off and discarded it over the wardrobe door as she picked out robes to change into. She didn't feel like walking around in her formal robes for the rest of the day.
"I would love to but I can't. I can't hold that responsibility." Obi-Wan watched her as she searched through her wardrobe. Even if she hadn't trained for three years, they needed everyone they could and that included Elly.
"Elly." His words made her turn around and she looked at him. The curtains were open and he was bathed in sunlight. He looked gorgeous but she buried that thought before she ever allowed it to grow. Attachments were forbidden, "You need to move on." His words felt like a kick to the gut and she turned to face the wardrobe again.
"It's not that easy," She snapped as she grabbed a new set. She threw them over her arm before she closed the wardrobe as much as she could with her outer robe still on there.
"It's not going to happen again, " Obi-Wan retorted. Elly rolled her eyes as she walked behind the screen. She then took her outer layers off until she was stood in just her bra and underwear, out of his sight. She hated these conversations especially with Obi-Wan because some part of her knew that he was right.
"I can't risk it." She stared at the clothes she had brought with her and then slowly began to pull them on. She quickly realised that she didn't even want to leave her room but she knew she had to. Obi-Wan would not allow her to isolate herself.
"You're not risking anything if I'm beside you. I won't let it happen," He responded. His words were stern and Elly nearly believed him. She pulled her pants up, buttoning them before she walked out from behind the screen. She was in only her bra as she grabbed the outer robe from the wardrobe door and she went back behind the screen.
"I won't do it, Obi-Wan. I was taken off active duty for a very good reason and I won't come back to it." Elly was stubborn. She always had been and Obi-Wan knew that. He knew a lot about her and he hated that he knew so much about it because she made everything hard. She made just knowing her so incredibly difficult.
"The Council have made their decision and if you don't follow what they tell you, you are directly violating their orders. You will lose their trust and they will send you to the battlefield with no training whatsoever," Obi-Wan knew it was the harsh route but he was getting nowhere. It was the simple facts. He had heard Windu's discussions and Elly was already in dangerous waters. She had become too defiant.
"A Padawan died because of me. I am not putting anyone else at risk of being killed due to my foolish and reckless decisions that will only satisfy my own ego." She hated talking about it and she hated that she had to use it to defend her own actions but what she did wasn't for herself, it was to keep everyone else safe from her.
"You don't have a choice," He retorted. Elly pulled her outer robes on and walked out from behind the screen. He had been waiting for her to come out, meeting her gaze. He looked so awkward sitting there. He didn't know what to do but Elly didn't say anything. She instead moved and sat next to him again.
There was silence between the pair for a moment before Elly pulled her legs up to be crossed in front of her. She knew that Obi-Wan was right. She didn't have a choice but she couldn't do it. She just couldn't.
"When does your Battalion leave again?" She asked. Obi-Wan's face seemed to brighten at her words and the frown lines vanished as the hint of a smile returned.
"Not for a few weeks." Elly nodded and Obi-Wan stood up from the bed. He put his hands in his pockets as he walked towards the door, "But we will begin training tomorrow. I will find you at breakfast." Elly closed her eyes as she let her head fall forward but she hummed, reopening her eyes and acknowledging that she heard. He nodded and then left the room.
But all Elly wanted to do was scream. She felt like screaming and as much as she tried to keep her annoyance in check she needed to kick something. So, she stood up and threw her foot into the side of her dresser. It hurt like hell but it made the anger go away as she collapsed to the floor again. It was a childish show of her anger but she had no other outlet.
-
Ahsoka seemed happier when she found Elly just after dinner. A grin on her face as she bounded towards the blonde. Elly could only assume that she had heard the news, heard that Elly would be training again. She would have to give Ahsoka that lesson at some point especially if she was going to get the disc drive back from Anakin.
"Skyguy told me the news," Ahsoka grinned. Elly nodded and put her hands in the pockets of her robes as she began to walk alongside Ahsoka, "I know the war is hard but at least you'll get to spend time with Obi-Wan." The comment seemed out of pocket and Elly's eyebrows shot up. Ahsoka smirked mischievously and Elly crossed her arms over her chest.
"What has Anakin been saying about me and Master Kenobi?" She asked, stopping in the middle of the corridor. Ahsoka, however, did little to react and continued walking onward. Elly sighed and jogged to catch up to the girl, "Ahsoka, I'm serious." The Togruta girl shrugged and Elly stared at her, disbelieving.
"He's not said anything," Ahsoka retorted but Elly could tell that was a lie. She could sense it, Ahsoka had always been easy to read for Elly.
"So, Anakin has never said anything about mine and Master Kenobi's relationship. Nothing?" Elly asked, stepping closer. It was an attempt to intimidate her but Ahsoka held her head up defiantly, her face completely neutral, "Where is Skyguy anyway?" Elly asked. The nickname felt wrong on her tongue and she quickly realised that she would not be saying that again.
"In his room." Elly nodded and grinned, turning off to head back to the bedrooms. Ahsoka's jaw dropped and she ran after Elly, grabbing the older woman's arms.
"If you tell on me," Ahsoka left it as an empty threat and Elly chuckled in response.
"Ahsoka, I promise you I won't snitch. I need to talk to Anakin about some droid issues. Now go and do whatever you're supposed to be doing," Elly said, turning the girl around and pushing her away. The girl crossed her arms over her chest but walked off anyway, a pout on her lips. Elly then turned back around and headed towards Anakin's room.
She knocked on his door, waiting patiently for it to open. She knew that he rarely answered his door but she needed to talk to him. Hopefully, he could sense that. The door suddenly swooshed open and Anakin stood on the other side. He had stripped down to only the bottom layer of his robes, he looked comfortable
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked, cocking an eyebrow as he gestured for her to come inside. Elly walked in and was struck by how different Anakin's room was from hers. His was made mostly of dura-concrete and other metallic materials. The back half of his room was a mess of droid parts but Elly didn't comment.
"I had a very interesting conversation with your Padawan," Elly said as she crossed over to the other side of the room. Anakin's face briefly dropped as he closed the door behind them both. He then turned to face her, crossing his arms over his chest. It was only then that she realised he wasn't wearing his prosthetic arm. It was odd to see him without it and a rare occurrence.
"About?" Anakin asked as he crossed his room again. He then sat down at his desk where he was looking at the wiring on his hand. Elly followed after him, leaning against the wall as he began to mess with the wiring again.
"A few things," Elly began and she watched as the wires sparked up at him. Anakin didn't even flinch, "What have you been saying in regard to my relationship with Master Kenobi?" Elly asked, raising an eyebrow. Anakin did react to Elly's words, much more so than to the hand sparking up again.
"Nothing that isn't already known." Lie. "Whatever Snips is implying is her own thoughts." Another lie. Elly could feel that he was lying and she gently shook her head.
"Anakin, I understand that Master Kenobi and I have a different friendship compared to many other Jedis but we are merely friends. It is strictly against the Code to form attachments that could hinder our ability to make decisions. What you and Ahsoka are implying is forbidden and implying any Jedi has done something of that nature is a dangerous accusation," Elly felt like she was scolding a child. Everything she said, Anakin already knew but it would never stop him. It hadn't before and Elly would not pretend that she hadn't seen him break this very rule.
"It's good that I never made such an accusation then, isn't it?" He responded as he turned to look up at her. Her eyes narrowed as she looked down at him before she crossed her arms over her chest.
"Attachments are strictly forbidden." There was a sternness to her tone almost as if she was trying to convince herself of that fact. Anakin hummed in response.
"Might need to remind Obi-Wan of that fact." Elly scoffed as she pushed off the wall. Her and Obi-Wan's relationship was not even the reason she was here so she put it to one side.
"I need the software drive for the gardening droids. I am to begin training with Obi-Wan and can't take care of the Garden." Anakin paused in his wiring and turned to look up at her, waiting for her to finish but she didn't.
"You still have to uphold your end of the bargain," He retorted. Elly pushed her fingers through her hair as she watched the man return back to his wiring. She couldn't believe him but this was also exactly what Anakin would do.
"I can't give her a training lesson but she can watch me and Obi-Wan train tomorrow? It's the best I can do right now." Elly couldn't believe she was bending to his will but here she was. She felt idiotic but she had no other choice. She needed the software.
"That is not what she's asking for..." Anakin trailed off. Elly stared at him, her eyes narrowing. She knew that Anakin was stubborn but this was asking too much.
"Anakin..." Elly's tone was warning as he put his hand back on. He then stood up and turned to look at her, a smirk appearing on his lips. Elly looked unimpressed and slightly annoyed at the man.
"You know what I want," He shrugged. The blonde gently shook her head but rather than reacting, she turned on her heel and exited his room. She wasn't sure why she had expected any of that to be easy. It was Anakin and he was nothing if not a stubborn bastard.
-