Silas's POV:
Music blaring, the thumps of kids my age range, or so I think, swaying along to the beat. Something so powerful about the intoxicating crowd that relishes into each other's mind, creates a sense of amenability.
I slouch back against the couch, my eyelids hazy with the ethanol that swims through my veins, poisoning my mind, my heart, my bones. The ability to move freely without care wafts me up like a blanket. Two strangers sit on either side of me, in the same predicament.
All night long, I've been sitting in a mass of despondency, hoping for some company seeing as it's my third day in this unaccustomed town. But nothing seemed to arrive for me. No deliverance of success paints my mood, only a solemn deprivation that crawls its way through, until she arrived.
Beautiful long legs, striking hazel eyes, slender build, hair that wisped down to her neck in captivating curls. But no. She was way out of my league, way too secured, I could already tell. She leaned against the wall as soon as she walked in the door, a casual demeanor, but also one that tolerated zero disrespect.
I was shameless in the way I gawked at her like a creep, it didn't matter, because right now she wasn't paying attention to me, only staring at the light that illuminated her facial features from her phone. I didn't want her to be mindful of me, but at the same time I suddenly craved that, wanted it with no indignity. But it was out of my reach, she seemed far away, billions of barriers slashed her from me.
Her head lifted, her strong gaze took in the scenery around her, salvaged in it. It was moderately obvious that she didn't want to be here, probably refused the offer to come one too many times, the visualization of her dead set on saying no easy to imagine, but here she was.
I wonder who convinced her to come. They must be someone close, someone she admired maybe. So many questions, little explanations. I wonder if I look like an absolute varlet just staring at her like this, pondering the company that aligned in her life.
She started to walk, my posture straightened, aware of her moves and actions. She wandered into the kitchen, closed off where I couldn't gaze any longer. I marvel if I should chase after her, that's what I always do anyways. It's funny. Even under the influence of alcohol, a drunken mess, I was still able to think straight for her, about her.
Fuck it. I stumbled upwards, the environment of sweat, sex, and drugs clouded my senses, surrounded it like an army from battle. But I moved through, navigated my way towards that kitchen even if my legs felt like they were going to give out on me, even if I saw maybe one or two individuals ask if I was alright. Not being able to hear them, but the movement of their mouth and their watchful gazes full of concern enough said.
I arrived, my sweaty palms gripping onto the entrance wall of the kitchen, a trickle of perspiration slid down my forehead. I was already working up a sweat for her, what had she done to me.
I blinked, and there she was. The alluring movement of her lips, what she was saying I had no collection of, but I was still entranced, was it even possible to be this obsessed with someone. Time seemed to slow as I made way to her, shoving a few people out of my way slightly, no more of a stumbling mess I once was, now a guy who was dedicated to get to know one thing about this woman tonight, even if it was how her voice sounded to the ears of others.
Her company had walked just a split minute before, now she stood alone, like once before but looking in better spirits. I swiftly trudged up towards her, planting a smile on my befuddled face.
"Hi."
My voice sounded foreign to my own ears; I had never been so nervous before. She racked her hands through her jet-black hair as her head whipped to my advancement, slightly attentive, taken aback. A twinkle in her eyes at that moment, my heart skipped a steady beat, vibrating underneath my body. What an impact she had not only one me, but my soul.
"Hello."
God. Her voice was sultry, so addictive that I wanted to have a full conversation with her, only her. "I saw you walk in, I just wanted to say hi." For Christ's sake repeating what you said in a different font Silas? This is getting pathetic.
"Oh. That's nice." She was hesitant on giving me her attention, her eyes still wandered around, not fully intact with my greeting. "You're eyes, they're beautiful." I voiced my thoughts, genuinely struck by the tales they told.
She blinked in surprise, a slight smile made way to her face, expressing the eyes I just complimented even more. I was glad she responded because if I had to continue the conversation with another statement, I'm not sure I could. A statue of a mess I would be.
"Aw, thank you, I love your hair." I could tell she was trying to find something to compliment me back on, her eyes traveling all over me before she landed on my scalp. Thanks love but I know I look like a mess right now, you on the other hand, perfection.
Not being able to help myself, I chuckled, a rare action. "You don't look like the type to party." I said, not too mindful of my words now that I had her regard. Stupid. Watching how I speak to her should be my number priority, not throwing it away because I seem to have conquered my desire of speaking with her.
She raised a full eyebrow, not offended, just curious on why I would deceive her as such. "Really, what do I look like then?" She spoke. Her confidence intimidated me, it made me rock on my feet and swaddle my sanity. So, I conjured up what I actually observed about her so far, I concluded it all into a paragraph in my head, mapping what would be said first, then later on.
"The type to maybe read or study, I bet you have straight A's. I meant no harm I just wanted to see if my assumption was right." I played with my cuticles, staring at the wall behind her intensely, scared to see her reaction to my accusations.
She laughed, it was real, a sweet melody that plagued my mind. "I didn't mean to scare you; I'm just used to people assuming the worse of me." Her honesty lured me in. But a pang of hurt sharpened my mind, sympathy for her, another should never deceive a person with cruelty.
"I'm sorry, that's horrible." I said. She gave me a soft smile, assuring me that either it's okay or she was used to it, which she shouldn't be. Her eyes strayed away from me, all her attention slipped from my fingertips and fell into a deep void. She stared behind me, lovingly.
A guy my age came up beside me, walked past, and stood beside her, sprouting a hand around her shoulder. A pang of devastation surged through me as he gave her a peck on the temple, a show of affection, and her reaction was immediately transferred, her giving him the biggest smile she let show all night.
"Hey Ondina, thought you wouldn't show." The guy spoke, taking a swig out of the red cup that was guarded in his grip. Ondina. A name so rare but holds so much beauty and knowing. She sighed, "I guess I would come for you, but only this once." Her playful tone rounded the burly guy beside her, he grinned in joy.
"Well, I appreciate it." God, he was nice. I was hoping for your typical douche, but still, she didn't seem like the type to waste her energy on a guy who didn't have his morals arranged. They smiled at each other as I stood there, a forgotten individual who only spoke a handful of words in this setting.
Feeling like a creep, I distanced myself from the two, steering towards the exit of the house, the worse thing about it is that Ondina didn't seem to notice. I mean it's not like she was expected to, we had only met a few minutes ago.
I let my feet lead myself home, they knew the way, which turns to take and which routes to memorize. Maybe it was my heart or my mind, but either one decided to travel the longest way, the hurry to arrive back to my apartment not that much intended.
Of course, she had a boyfriend, a girl as beautiful as her was opted to have a sense of love crawling through her heart. But it just pained me that I didn't get to engage more into her presence, that I didn't get to claim the title of 'Interesting conversation" that starry night. See I was always a chaser, always a person who gambled with my own heart, the prize of another's love or attention is what laid on the table.
Head held low, cigarette perched between my lips, lack of attention to my surroundings obvious, and the feeling of lost welcomed again. But I never had anything to lose, what could it be that troubled my own esteem, that indulged with my own dreadful thoughts. The temptation I desired, ruined by my own heap of adoration and admiration.
♛✧༺ ༻✧♛
A/N: Hope you guys enjoyed this first little snippet of the book, I loved writing it for you all, Love ya. <3