"are you sure you didn't see him?"
sunghoon sighs, stopping his paperwork to look at sunoo.
"sun, it's been days since i saw riki come here." he stared at him, "why don't you call him? ask him if he forgot that he still has duties here?"
sunoo didn't answer. it's been almost a week since riki told him that he's busy, and they haven't talked again after that. no messages, no calls. he doesn't even see him around the campus anymore.
maybe he's just busy.... maybe...
"he's just probably busy with his studies."
"sure he is, midterms just ended and it's nearly christmas break soon. last time i heard he's not a nerd."
sunoo rolled his eyes. "then how about you call him instead? you're the chief here."
"i don't contact the members personally." sunghoon defends quickly.
"really, now? i don't think that's the truth. what about j—" sunoo stops talking when chenle gets inside the headquarters, followed by yuna.
chenle looks at them with suspicion. "why did you two stop talking? are you talking about me behind my back?!"
sunghoon scoffs. "nothing in your life is entertaining enough for us to talk about you."
"that's true, not as entertaining as compared to yours, am i right?" chenle winked at sunghoon and laughed.
"i'm a boring person."
"ah-huh, very boring indeed." chenle glanced at sunoo, "how about yours, sunoo? any juicy details on what's going on in your life?"
nothing, just me trying not to chase someone who seems to have given up on his words.
"shut up chenle, stop bothering sunoo." yuna shoves chenle out of the way to sit on the sofa.
"bitch, no wonder you can't get any guy to date."
"it's not like i want to date your species anyways, gross."
+++++++++
[ wonwon ]
wonwon:
yo
are you sure you still won't go to the hq today?
sunghoon told me you have a lot to do
riki:
nah
i'll pass
maybe i'll leave the org
idk
wonwon:
what? you idiot
you don't want to see sunoo hyung anymore?
he's worried
he's been looking for you
riki:
ofc i still want to see him
but i can't
not yet
i'm not ready to talk to him
wonwon:
then.. are you giving up on him?
make up your decision, rik
if this gets any longer it will hurt the both of you
riki:
what will i say to him? that i want him to make me his priority?
i don't want to beg for his love
so what can i do?
wonwon:
you have to be honest to him
if he still doesn't want you, then that's his problem
you're worth more than that and you know it
riki:
but my worth means nothing if he doesn't love me back, won.
++++++++++
[ riki 💫 ]
sunoo:
hey riki!
i think you're still busy, but can i meet you later? just for a couple of minutes
please?
i just need to say something.
riki 💫:
hi hyung!
sorry, i can't today.
i'm not in the campus bc we have to do some activity outside the uni
sunoo:
oh
okay
no problem 😊
have a great day :)
++++++++++
sunoo walks outside of the building after sending a reply to ni-ki. it was almost 7 in the evening and there are a few students left in the campus.
he was disappointed that he still can't meet him, but he's also glad that he finally replied to him.
but the relief that he feels got replaced by confusion when he sees riki walking just right on the alleyway towards the stone lane.
but he said he's not here today, so why did he lie?
he breathes sharply, his fingers tapping on his phone to call him. he needs a confirmation. maybe it wasn't him, right?
"hello, hyung?"
sunoo hears riki's voice as he watches the guy stop walking.
"hi. sorry for the sudden call, i clicked it by mistake. are you busy right now?"
"y-yes hyung. i'm still inside the incheon library, we're uh, researching."
huh. "okay, goodluck on your research." he ends the call with no hesitation.
why? did i do something wrong? sunoo feels like it's happening again. how do i fix this?
he didn't think hard. he rushed to where ni-ki is— walking fast to catch up to him.
"riki," sunoo grabs his wrist suddenly.
ni-ki abruptly stops walking, staring in shock as he realizes that sunoo saw him. he's been hiding in the corners of the university so he wouldn't cross paths with sunoo, but here he is now.
"hyung—"
"why did you lie to me?" sunoo's voice sounded like a whisper.
"hyung, i didn't... it's not like that." ni-ki finds it hard to explain. he wasn't ready to face sunoo yet, and he doesn't know what to say to him.
"why are you avoiding me?" sunoo holds his hand. "did i do something? or did you realize that you don't like me anymore?"
"i'm not avoiding you, i just needed some time." riki stares at sunoo's worried face. "i like you so much, hyung. i've said that many times now, but how come you're still doubting it?"
because i'm scared, riki.
sunoo hated the word change.
he didn't like it when his favorite mug is nowhere to be found, or when he can't take his coffee in the morning. he follows a routine— a habit, that he religiously does everyday.
seems boring, doesn't it? when someone does the same thing over and over again, they look for something new.
sunoo? he prefers the stability. change scares him.
but then he came to realize that change comes to people easily, especially when it comes to their emotions.
people can say they love you today, and then they hate you tomorrow. it's not unchanging. people come and go, they stay and they leave.
and i didn't want to see that happen.
"what about you, hyung? can you say the same to me?"
"i.. that's what i've been wanting to tell you all this time." sunoo feels his mouth run dry, his heart pounding loudly.
"i like you too, ni-ki."
the younger stills, his eyes widening a bit after hearing sunoo's words. he wanted to shout in glee and to hug him right there and then, but he stopped himself.
is that really what he feels for me?
"is that... true?"
"what?" sunoo chuckles in disbelief. "you think i'm joking? i like you."
ni-ki's eyes met his. "then, would you choose me over heeseung?"
what...?
"of course i'll choose you, why would you ask that—"
"because i know, hyung. i saw how you panicked when heeseung got hospitalized— i saw it in your eyes." riki takes a deep breath.
"when you almost drove your car past the speeding limit just so you could run fast to check on him, when you had to cancel our date just for him... i knew, hyung. how could i ever compete with that?"
"every time you look at him, i ask myself; would you ever look at me the same way too?"
sunoo shakes his head. "no, no... you're wrong— completely wrong. heeseung hyung is a friend, he's important to me but i don't like him anymore."
"then pick one— me or him?" he knew he sounded childish, but riki is desperate.
"i..."
as sunoo struggled to find the answer, ni-ki's heart breaks again. why did i even ask? i already expected that he won't choose me, but to see it with my own eyes... it's torture.
"i already know the answer, hyung." he forced a smile at him. he stepped backwards, but the older held on to the hem of his shirt.
"it's not like that," sunoo tries to hold his tears from falling.
"h-heeseung hyung... he's family. no matter what happens, i can't let him go... i'm all that he's got..."
"and you— i like you, sincerely." he watched in pain as ni-ki's expression remained the same. he doesn't believe me.
"however, i can't force you to believe me since it was my fault... i made you suffer, i was selfish. i'm sorry, i really am." he wipes the tears on his cheeks.
i deserve this, i hurt him.
i was trying to fix myself first because i didn't want to give him a broken version of me— but i failed. i was the one who broke him.
his hand finally lets go of riki's shirt. the freshman did not say a thing, he's just looking at the ground, his head down.
"hyung, you know how i love you right?" ni-ki speaks softly, putting his left hand to caress sunoo's cheek.
"but right now... i can't. i'm sorry, but this time i need to choose myself."
if i choose sunoo every time, there will be nothing left of me. for once, i want to be selfish.
++++++++
3 (?) chapters left before we end book 1!
and btw, i haven't said who will be the main characters in book 2, and i won't spoil anything about it 🤐 (not until i finish this one first lol)
let's just say that omym is just the tip of the iceberg, we'll discover more of the other characters in the next book ☺️
talk/ask me smth about omym (or anything else lmao) on my cc:
https://curiouscat.me/bubblyksn