The whistle reverberated so loudly I could feel it in my teeth. The whole offensive line took off toward the end line, sprinting hard enough that nobody was capable of thinking.
Coach was pissed at something or another and was running us into the ground for it. We had three days before our game on Saturday and, by the looks of things, we'd barely have a team that could stand on the sidelines. Most of the guys, me included, had shucked our shirts and were sweating bullets the size of our body weight.
Winston and Darius looked pissed as we hit the line and jogged back. On any normal day, my expression would match theirs.
Repeats were satan's way of shitting on football players. Each repeat was a full field sprint in under 25 seconds and then a jog back to the other end line for the remaining minute. When the minute was up, you repeated it. Nobody said the name was clever.
Today, I welcomed the burn. The burn in my throat, in my legs. When I was burning, my thoughts could focus on how much it sucked and nothing else came in. It was just what I needed after the week I had.
A retching sound came from somewhere down the line and I glanced to my side. Hayden was throwing up somewhere behind the goal post and missed the deadline for the next sprint.
Okay, so I lied. I could also think some other smug thoughts while I ran. But even those were dangerous because they inevitably led to thoughts I didn't want.
Finally, after 18 repeats, coach relented and blew the whistle that signaled the end of practice. My legs were on fire and sweat dripped into my eyes, but my chest didn't feel as tight as it had before practice.
Winston glanced at me as we made our way back to the locker rooms, both of us still drenched in sweat. I hit my fist against his and he shifted his gaze away from me. Anxiety rolled off of him in waves and I frowned as I felt it wash over me.
"You good?"
My best friend shrugged. "I kind of forgot to tell you something, but I'm not sure... well, I was gonna tell you after practice but it's kind of fucked up to tell you right after we got our asses handed to us. But I also think that at least this way you can't chase after me and beat me."
At that, I laughed. His rambling made little to no sense to me now, but I was used to it. Around everybody else Winston was always contained and quiet. I, however, expected that he was quiet around other people because he saved all of his random thoughts and weird shit for me.
"Spit it out," I said.
"So, the other day while you went to talk to coach, someone came by the room to talk to you. But you weren't there so I said you weren't there—"
He was starting to ramble again and I contemplated cutting him off, but I didn't need to. Both of us stopped walking as we spotted the girl standing a few feet from the locker room door. In a sea of tall, sweaty, and shirtless guys it was kind of hard not to notice her.
And, if I was honest, it was always hard for me not to notice her.
Even when she pissed me off.
"Can we talk?" Josie asked, her sea colored eyes were wide as she looked up at me.
For a moment, her eyes flickered down. I was sweaty, I was shirtless, and I'd been playing football since I could walk, so I assumed the blush on her cheeks had nothing to do with the slight breeze in the air. Call me arrogant, but I didn't mind if she wanted to look.
A few of the guys glanced over as they walked past us. I imagine they were wondering how someone not on the team managed to get into the practice stadium while we were having a closed practice. Coach typically locked the gates and I couldn't picture little miss perfect climbing the fences in a dress. Though, it wasn't a bad picture.
I debated saying no. For like half a second. It was the sundress she was wearing that wore me down.
"Or maybe I don't need to tell you at all," Winston muttered beside me and I glanced at him confused. "Nevermind. I'll catch up with you tonight."
My best friend walked ahead into the locker room giving Josie a friendly nod hello before leaving. The rest of the guys were still filtering in and I didn't really want them hearing her yell at me so I nudged her over a little further on the wall, away from the door.
I leaned against the brick, my legs were noodles under me after those sprints and I needed some support if we were going to go four rounds again.
"I'm sorry, okay!" She burst out, "For... whatever I said. It was mean and I'm sorry."
I couldn't help it, and I knew that it infuriated her, but her apologies always made me laugh. It was something about the way her bottom lip pouted and her eyes looked crazed— as if she was rejecting the apology the moment it came out.
Before coming to school here I could count on one hand how many apologies she had given me in her life. Now that I was here, it felt like I was getting one every other week.
I tried very hard not to laugh because I owed her one too. Josie bit her lip and suddenly I didn't feel like laughing anymore. Her long hair was pulled back away from her face, but there were still light colored tendrils falling into her eyes.
"I'm sorry too." I said, "I should have called or texted before my phone died to let you know what was up."
She fiddled with her thumbs, scratching at the nail, something she only did when she was nervous.
"What was up?" she asked and then in a hushed whisper, "you're not actually doing drugs are you? I just said that to be a dick but—"
"Are you worried about me, Fish?"
I couldn't help the smirk that crossed my face, but when she crossed her arms with that annoyed expression on her face, I almost regretted it.
"No. I just..." she sighed a little, "I mean, yeah. Kind of."
Kind of? Kind of. Kind. Of.
It was a strange thing to think, and I couldn't totally explain why, but 'kind of' just became my favorite phrase.
"I'm okay, Josie," I told her, trying to hide my surprise at her admission the best that I could, "promise."
Her green eyes softened when she looked up at me.
"That's the first time you've called me by my name since you started here."
I chuckled, rubbing my hand through my sweat-slicked hair a little nervously. Was that true? Figures. I usually tried to avoid saying or thinking her name as much as possible.
"Don't get used to it or anything," I told her. She shook her head.
"Don't get used to me apologizing," she said. I glanced down at her, and her expression didn't match her words. She was smiling. At me.
I let out a laugh that I hoped didn't sound breathless or forced. "Already am, Fish. You're apologizing to me at least once a week. Gonna go to a guy's head eventually."
She groaned, shaking her head.
"I know... you honestly just..." her green eyes widened and she clamped her mouth shut, "never mind."
Some of the guys had already started trickling out of the locker room, heading to their cars to go home. I should've been with them, but I much preferred trying to figure out the words she wanted to say but wouldn't.
"Nah uh," I adjusted the bag on my shoulder, "fess up. 'I honestly just' what? Don't hold back now."
She rolled her eyes, but there was laughter in them. "I'm trying not to ruin the apology."
I wanted her to ruin the apology. Whether that was by offending me some more or her angry ranting. I'd let her ruin anything, especially when she smiled.
"Ruin it," I told her.
My voice sounded strange, even to me. She blinked a little, confused at the shift and off kilter. Enough so that she answered me.
"You looked really hurt this time," she mumbled, glancing at the toe on her shoe, "it freaked me out."
My chest tightened painfully, and not from the wind sprints. If only she knew the extent of it.
She wasn't wrong. The words did hurt, and I knew that she didn't mean for them to have that effect. There had only ever been one time where she meant to hurt me and actually did.
I swallowed down the memory of both the words she said when we were young and the words she said the other day. Her guilty expression and my lightheadedness from the sprints were probably to blame for the next words out of my mouth.
"Do you want to do something tonight?"
"Wh-what?" She blinked at me.
I scratched the back of my neck, her eyes tracked the movement.
"Do you actually want me to repeat it or do you just want a second to process it?"
"Um both?"
I chuckled at the confused expression she wore on her face. She hadn't immediately thrown up at the idea so I figured that was progress and continued.
"We can work on the play scene— you picked Our Town, right?" She nodded but didn't agree, so I continued, "or we can go get some food. I still don't really know the good spots."
Again, no sign from her.
"Or see a movie."
Nothing.
"Or do literally anything that will get you to stop looking at me like I've grown legs out of my head."
Josie spluttered a laugh.
"Sorry, I just— what do you mean do something?" she asked.
"Seriously, Fish? You're the smartest person I know and you get tripped up by me asking you to do something?"
She flushed at the compliment I'd accidentally given her. It was true, but I hadn't meant to say it. Not really, anyways. Although, I really wished I could be done with constantly censoring myself around her.
If I could've paid money to know what she was thinking I would've gone broke in that moment. While she was thinking, the cheerleading team started to walk past us into the women's locker room and I nodded hello at one of them who was in my Chemistry lab. Then at a familiar redhead.
"Hey Donovan," Sabrina said, shooting me a smile and walking backward toward the door to the locker room.
"What's up, Bri," I greeted.
"Practice was ass, per usual. Coach made us do planks for like half an hour."
"Sorry to hear that. We had wind sprints."
I chuckled, glancing down at the short blonde who was picking at her nails and running her tongue over her teeth. Was she irritated at the conversation? She still hadn't accepted my invitation, but I wondered if she made up her mind.
"Sorry to hear that," Sabrina winced, "well, if you're sore tomorrow you're more than welcome to share my ice bath."
"Generous of you," I said dryly to her, but my eyes flickered to Josie's face. What did that expression mean? Was it wrong to be pleased that she looked annoyed? Probably.
Sabrina sent me one last grin before walking into her locker room. Josie was looking up at me when I turned back to her.
"Do you think she'll mind?" she asked.
"Huh? Who?"
"Sabrina? Do you think she'll mind if we went and got food?" she asked. "I'm hungry."
I hid my grin the best that I could.
"C'mon, Fish," I said by way of answer, "let's go get you some food. But first, let me shower because..." I trailed off gesturing to my general sweatiness.
"Because gross?" She finished for me.
I grinned. "Exactly."
I was in and out of the shower faster than I'd probably ever been and was only half way surprised that Josie was still waiting for me when I returned.
I led her to my car, because she apparently walked to the practice field from a study session at the library. She spent the drive giving me directions to a sports bar on the popular college street downtown. I spent the drive trying my best to focus on the road, but couldn't help being surprised that she actually went for my idea.
Though, some part of me knew that Sabrina's appearance may have helped just a little. Whether or not Josie would admit to it, that was a different story.
Eventually, we rolled up to Hawk House. It was a large sprawling space with a bar in the middle and TVs plastered on every free inch of wall space. Each one was displaying some sports game.
"Don't you hate sports?" I asked her as a hostess led us to a table.
"I don't hate sports. They hate me."
"Do they give you a discount because you work here?" I asked.
Her eyes narrowed on me. "Do I want to know how you know that?"
"You were wearing your work shirt when you came and picked up your brother."
She shot me a look that said she didn't believe me. I laughed, knowing that she would jump to whatever conclusion she wanted. If she thought I was stalking her, I wouldn't change her mind with anything I said. Truth was, I spent most of my life learning how to notice the little things about Josie Troutman, and it was a habit that seemed to come back in full force now that we were seeing more of each other.
"I've been working here for a few years. They've got good food and yes I do get a discount when I come to eat."
She gave a pleased smile to herself and handed me a menu. As I scanned it, I could feel her eyes on me. When I looked up, her expression was a little puzzled.
"What?"
"When you said 'do something'... were you asking me on a date?"
I raised a brow.
"Would you have said yes?" I asked.
She didn't answer. Figures.
"It's not a date, Fish. Don't worry." I glanced back down at the menu. "If I ask you out on a date, you'll know."
———————
Hi friends :)
Stay safe and be kind. Just in case nobody's told ya this in a little while: I'm proud of you and how far you've made it.