we accept the love we think we deserve . ⚘
" she was a tragic beauty . sadness had left fingerprints all over her face . "
- john mark green
INTERNALIZED HOMOPHOBIA, HORRIBLE FAMILY, good friends, bad ex friends, has body dysphoria, anxiety, lives in Indiana, it's the eighties.
Both a great combination to have and a horrible combination to have. In Jaydens case it was absolutely terrible.
From the get go Jayden never liked guys, never fell for them. When she met her friends, Will, Mike, Lucas, and Dustin she knew for sure she had never liked boys. She had never gained romantic feelings for any guy she's ever met.
Any boy her mom would introduce her to it was a platonic feeling. Never romantic. Now, if that boy had a sister, Jayden would never waste a minute to admire her from head-to-toe, get to know anything and everything about her, even knowing the fact she would never see them again.
No one knew this about Jayden, no one tried to get to know more about her that much. She was the care taker, not the taken care of. Her four best friends, as mentioned earlier, where four boys. Mike, Dustin, Will, and Lucas. Even then they didn't know much about the girl.
Will was her best friend. He had been stuck in the Upside Down last year. She had been worried sick about him. When they finally found him she never left his side in the hospital. Her other closest friend was Eleven. Eleven was a girl that had powers, telekinetic and psionic powers. The girls got along well, very well. Jayden will never forget the day where they sat in Nancys bedroom and she explained every single makeup product to the girl that she had to put on her, Elevens personal request.
Then El was gone and she was stuck once again with the four boys. The four boys that hadn't understood her like El had. The feeling of being weird, different, unusual.
Now Jayden delt with that alone. Alone.
Her brother, Steve, was never the best of help. He would pop in here and there. Quick greetings. They never got along fully. She wasn't the biggest fan of her brother. Her brother never put in the effort to talk to her, let alone have a solid conversation. And if they did it wasn't a good one.
Though, after the past year with all the events of Will going missing and Eleven appearing and discovering an alternate dimension, Steve had tried to be there more. Jay keeps grudges though, she would not let him in no matter how hard he tried.
Then there was their parents. Not good ones. They provided money, barley food since they were out a lot. Most of the times Joyce would come over and pick up Jayden, taking the girl to go grocery shopping with her and Will. Jayden cherished those times of having a family, as she didn't feel like she had one and sometimes the quick twenty minute shopping trips were the closest thing she could get.
Her dad wasn't much of a talker. Her mom, however, very much was. That's why she can't sit still at the table, why her instinct when someone looked at her is to sit up straight. Why when someone yells her hands shoot to cup her ears. Why when someone points out how much food is on her plate she only eats a little. Why she can't be herself.
Why she has tight shirts.
Why her room's pink.
Why she won't eat.
Why she isn't her.
Why she wants to die.
Her mom used to control who she hung out with too, setting Jayden up with pretty, prissy, perfect girls since she started school. She met the boys around second grade. Jayden would secretly hang out with them, lie saying she's going to Veras house and then navigate herself to the Wheelers front door where she was welcomed with open arms by them.
That was Jaydens life.
It was filled of fakes, body shaming, homophobia, dishonesty, bullying, scars, horrible people, friends, and lying. Lots of lying. And at this point she had to live with it because, as of now, it was the best thing she could get.
Someone needed to understand Jayden. Someone needed to. Someone needed to understand the character of depth, sadness, hurt, and trauma that was Jayden Harrington. She needed someone to, she was sick of waiting.
But, hey. At least she had The Smiths.
That was close enough.
And the little warnings in her head that have helped her cheat death. They were her best friends.
But that will make sense later.
BEST READ IN
font - georgia
size - any
color - black
" you're such a pain in the ass, max . "
" but you love me jay . "
JAYDEN ( JAY ) HARRINGTON
portrayed by young alexis bledal
< lesbian, scorpio, xiii >
MAXINE ( MAX ) MAYFIELD
portrayed by sadie sink
< bisexual, aries, xiii >
VERA JONES
portrayed by jessica sula
< in denial, taurus, xiii >
MIXTAPE !

kilby girl, the backseat lovers / sweet nothings, taylor swift / lunchbox friends, melanie martinez / supermarket, lonley god / lovefool, the cardigans / i know it's over, the smiths / evil, interpol / gilded lily, cults / orange juice, melanie martinez / friends, chase atlantic
marz speaks!
Okay, so plans have, obviously, changed!
I'm posting this story act by act, so since act one is done I made the impulsive decision to publish it. Each chapter in act one is easily about 4000-5000 words which is because I combined chapters from the original Kilby Girl. I really do hope you enjoy this and see the changes in the writing, as well as in the story.
!! TW !!
This book will have more mentions of Jaydens Eating Disorder as well as other upsetting topics which will come up later. I will not feel offended if you have to skip some parts. As always trigger warnings will be at the beginning of every chapter, funny and serious.
I do hope you enjoy this, as I might quit Wattpad when this book is finished and I would like to leave on a good note. I love you all and I do thank you for the support.
Enjoy! :]
Kilby Girl Rewritten
Act One
Enjoy ❤︎︎