Chapter 32: See Me Now
Victoria Abbel Stanislaski's Point of View
"Why are you all looking at me like that?" I clutched my chest. I can feel my whole body shaking from madness. Kahit ngayon ay nahihirapan na rin akong huminga.
My brothers' faces are all blurry because of the tears.
"Cainn, I don't understand you." Whenever Cainn looked at me, it was always annoyed. Na para bang konti na lang ay magkakasalubong na ang kilay niya. Pero ngayon, iba ang paraan nang pagtingin niya sa akin. It was soft. He's giving me a pitying look and I almost want to smack his face with my fist.
"Our family wasn't ruined, Victoria. You are the only one thinking that way! I'm so tired of you always blaming us." Cainn glanced at me and turned to Damien.
I tried to squeeze my eyes shut and try not to let it sink in.
"I still don't understand." Nanghihinang sabi ko sa kanila habang umiiling. Napahawak na rin ako sa may sofa dahil kahit ang ay bumibigay na rin.
The tears begun to slip out of my eyes, no matter how I tried not to let them go. Naguunahan silang pumatak sa mukha ko na para bang nagmamadali dahil may mga luha pa akong isusunod.
My bottom lips began to tremble and I almost clap at myself for still managing to speak. I still don't know what they are trying to say. I don't know why it is such news that I can still see Dad now.
"You don't know? Okay, then let me make it clear for you."
"Cainn, don't do it." Damien hissed.
"But she has to know!" Cainn just raised his voice and this is actually the first time that I heard him like that.
"I'm tired of always tiptoeing around the house while Victoria is around. That's why if you have the chance Damien, hindi ka umuuwi dito." The horror on Damien's face made me realize that it was true.
"No raising of your voice, please. Cainn, calm down. And Damien, I think this is the right time." My father said and he looked at Clevon.
"Clevon, go and get a glass of water." Walang sabi-sabi na umalis si Clevon at pumunta sa kusina. Then his attention focus on me.
"And you Tori,"
"No. Don't talk to me." And I still refuse to talk to him. Dahil hanggang ngayon ay naguguluhan pa rin ako. And when Clevon come back with a glass of water in his hand, hindi ko ito kinuha.
The tension in the living room is thick that I want to get out because it was suffocating. My breath felt heavy. I want to run away from this place.
"It all started when we came here. You were devastated." Paninimula ni Cainn.
"Near to ruin, I may add," Clevon interjected. Cainn looked at Clevon before diverting his eyes on me. I sucked on my breath and tried my best to understand Cainn.
"I don't get it. We migrated here for our own safety but you were so focused on yourself because you don't want to be away from Trevor." I know. I know that time when we just arrived here. It was so difficult.
"Ohh, silly me. I forgot something." Cainn laughed at himself. He was shaking his head.
"You,"
"What did I do?" Nanginginig na tanong ko sa kanya. My voice trembled in shock and I was too focused to my emotion. Sobrang lakas ng kabog ng dibdib ko na kahit boses ni Cainn ay hindi ko masyadong naririnig.
"It was partly your fault that's why we're here," Damien said.
"Sa dami ng ginawa mo Tori ay hindi ko na alam kung saan magsisimula." Napatingin naman ako kung saan nakatayo sa Damien, naguguluhan pa rin sa sinabi niya. All of them are talking in riddles and my head started throbbing. As if someone is splitting them into two.
"Dad and Mom just let you pursue Trevor because they thought it was just a harmless crush! But little did they know it wasn't." Cainn continued. He was the only one talking.
"Now that we're here, you didn't even left your room. But you keep on blaming Dad for trying to enter politics, kaya tayo nag migrate dito. That idea consumed you. One year had passed, you decided to go back. Mom tried to stop your silliness." And then Cainn stopped. Tears are building on his eyes. Kita ko kung paano pumula ang mata ni Cainn na parang pinipigilan na lang niya ang sarili niyang umiyak.
"I was there, goodness." The horror on Cainn's face feels like he's still in that place. He can't move on.
"Why what happened?"
"You were shouting at Mom. Pababa ka ng hagdan habang dala ang suitcase mo. Mom tried to stop you and begged you to stop. You didn't listen. You insisted Tori. And I know something snapped inside you, you..."
Cainn Stanislaski's Point of View
"... pushed mom on the staircase." There I said it. Tori looked horrified as if she doesn't remember that day. Pero sa akin, parang kahapon lang ito nangyari. Hindi ko makakalimutan ang gabi na 'yon. That was the first day that I got scared of my own little sister.
Who in the right mind will push your own mother in the a fucking staircase? Dahil lang hindi ka pinapayagan sa gusto mong mangyari? Dad started to blame himself for Victoria's behavior. She was spoiled, no one can refute that. Pero sa tuwing hindi niya nakukuha ang gusto niya ay may ginagawa itong kakaiba.
When Victoria pushed our mom in the staircase, buong akala ko ay magpapanic ito at tatakbo agad pababa ng hagdan para tingnan ang kalagay ni Mom. I was glued in my place when Tori laughed! She was laughing while walking slowly to our mom's place. At nang makababa ito ng hagdan ay agad itong umupo sa sahig, she was just staring at our unconscious mother! I was numb and my body felt heavy. I just couldn't shake this feeling as if my soul had been ripped inside my body.
"Mom, you know that stopping me is futile. I just want you to stopped nagging at me." She whispered while stroking our mother's face. May dugo na dumadaloy mula sa kanyang noo pero kahit gustohin ko mang lumapit sa kanilang dalawa ay parang napapako ang paa ko.
"Mom, wake up. I'm just kidding." She was poking our mother's face while still sitting on the floor next to her.
The expression on Tori's face is so foreign to me. Too foreign that I don't think she was my sister. Wala pang ilang minuto ay bigla siyang napatingin sa aking pwesto.
"Cainn, I don't think our mom is breathing." She knew I was there! She fucking knew but she still pushed mom?
"Mom slipped on the staircase." And she started crying. Oh god! And from that moment, I realized that there was something wrong with her.
I had no recollection of running towards them, but somehow here I was in the hospital waiting for the doctor to confirm that mother is all right. Dumating naman agad si Dad at ang dalawa ko pang mga kapatid. Dad looks so worried to the point na gusto pa niyang pumasok sa operating room makita lang ang kalagayan ng kanyang asawa.
"What happened Cainn?" Parang wala ako sa aking sarili na mapaupo sa sahig at napasandal sa pader. I put my hands on my face and breath loudly. Napasabunot na rin ako sa aking buhok nang paulit-ulit nagpi-play na parang sirang plaka ang nakita ko kanina.
I'm still too shocked by what happened. And when I finally found my voice, I finally told them what I'd witnessed. Dad started to blame himself. Damien cursed. Clevon pursed his lips.
And I was traumatized.
She'll do that just for a man!? I can't believe it. Tori is so much in love with Trevor that she is willing to give up her whole family! It poisoned her whole body and now she's losing her sense of reality. God! I hate my sister.
"You are living for one purpose and that is to be with Trevor." Binasag ni Clevon ang katahimikan ng hindi na ako nagsalita. I'm still too shocked by what happened and that's when I started looking at Victoria differently.
I'm not kidding when Tori and I used to be close. Dahil siguro sa edad naming dalawa na hindi naman nagkalayo. I always have her back and we've always been together through thick and thin. I let her play with my toys when we used to be kids and I play with her when she wants to play with her barbie. And when we grew up, Tori had been my comrade when it comes to shooing girls away. When they tried to be all clingy to me, Tori is the one who pretended to be my girlfriend so they'll stop pursuing me. And in return, I will treat her to her favorite ice cream parlor. And she didn't ask much but she will always request for some chocolates. And I miss our bond. I'll take her to the restaurant of her choice if she wanted to eat outside. Because I know how lonely she was alone. But since that day happened, we rarely have conversation. Ni hindi na nga ako makatingin ng diretso sa kanya. And we ended up always bickering and arguing. Hindi matatapos ang araw na hindi kami nagaaway.
And now, I want to blame her.
That time Tori is also in the hospital. She was worried and when Dad tried to talk to her, ay parang hindi niya ito napapansin o nakikita.
"This is because of Dad," Tori started while looking at the room where our mother was being treated.
"He cheated on mom."
"What? I will never do that to your mother, Victoria. You know that. I love your mother more than I love myself." Dad gasped but Tori doesn't seem to hear him. And when we consulted the doctor, Tori was making her own reality. She refused to admit that she was in the wrong so she just blame it on our dad. And so she refused to see him and she succeeded. She vanished our Dad in her world! And whenever she's in mom's room, she was changing her medicine so she won't talk about how she ended up like that! Tori and her weirdness.
Dad has been living with us all along and tending to our sick mother who got a major injury from her fall to the staircase.
And I am stuck living with Tori, afraid that she'll do something to me, too.
Since then, our family is always careful around Victoria. Because she'll do something crazy when she's upset.
"Then why is Trevor here? Bakit siya nagstay dito sa atin?"
"I asked him if he could stay in the house and help you, Victoria. Dahil si Trevor lang naman ang halos nakikita mo. And he approved, maybe because he wants to ease his guiltiness." Damien said. The doctor said we should try to be patient and help her. No, we didn't blame Trevor. We feel sorry for him. Dahil masyado siyang hinahabol ni Tori, even his personal space is being compromised.
Tori wants everything to be in her way. And when Trevor refuses, Tori view it as a challenge.
"Why is he guilty? From not liking me back?" Tori asked, looking at Damien with huge, stricken eyes.
"No, from kissing your friend." Bumaling ang tingin sa akin ni Damien. Napahawak na naman ako sa aking ulo. The memories are still vivid inside my head. Memories that I want to forget.
"Georginna?" Tori's muffled cry almost want me to go to her place and give her a comforting hug.
"Why? Why is he guilty!?" She screamed. And then she whimpered.
"As far as I remember, he told Nikos that it was only his way to annoy you. Thinking that you will stop liking him when he kissed someone in front of you." Clevon said and looked at me. They all looked at me, waiting for me to talk. And I swallowed hard because I don't think I can tell them what exactly happen.
"Remember when we go to Mid North University when we get all of our things?" I saw her nod.
"I told you to be quick because I hate waiting." Another nod came from her. I look at our Dad who is now quietly sitting on the sofa, but he just gave me a go signal as if telling me to continue.
"Natapos ko na agad ang dapat kong gawin kaya hinanap kita kaagad Tori. But I saw you talking to someone in the corridor. I thought it was just a harmless conversation but someone screamed loudly. I thought it was you. Kaya agad akong tumakbo malapit sa pwesto niyo."
"What did I do, Cainn?" Tori asked when I stopped talking. Her voice was quite daring.
"I saw you slitting down your friend's face using a cutter. Mula sa kanyang bibig hanggang sa kanyang pisngi. And when you're done, you just left." Shit, I want to remove that memory from my head. I saw the girl whimpering and crying but she can't make a noise because Tori just slit her face using a fucking cutter! Nang maabutan ko silang dalawa ay nagkalat na ang dugo ni Georginna sa sahig. I hurriedly went to her direction and brought her to the hospital. I was there!
My sister is really insane.
"That's why the reason that we migrated was partly your fault," Clevon added. I know such revelation will break her. But we have to do this. Binayaran na lang namin ang pamilya ni Georginna at dinala dito sa Tori. Poor girl, she got twelve inches of stitches on her face. I wonder if that girl wants to see her face in the mirror. I doubt that. I saw Georginna's face having fresh stitches and I couldn't even look at her. Victoria really ruined her.
And because of Tori, MidNorth University made some changes to the Student Handbook. In section 7, all students are prohibited to bring any pointy objects. And that includes a knife, cutter, scissors in all sizes and even a toothpick! Tori is behind that amendment! She just get away from trouble because the owner of the school was our Uncle.
"Is this the reason why Trevor hates me? Ito ba ang dapat niyang sabihin sa akin?" We all become silent because we didn't know what she was talking about. We can't speak on Trevor's behalf.
There were times that I feel bad about Tori. But she's really scary. And it was only Nikos who can make some sense to her. Nikos is the reason why Tori stayed in this country. Nikos got his own ways, too. I think we're being cursed. Yes, we are filthy rich but we're all paying the price of being one.
But it was Damien's idea na pagstayin si Trevor dito.
I thought he will not agree. Trevor and Tori living in the same house? I don't think so. Trevor is such a busy man pero agad naman niyang pinaunlakan ang pagimbita ni Damien.
And now she can finally see Dad, I know our father is somewhat happy since his own daughter can recognize him but deep down he's blaming himself for what Tori becomes. Dad always wants the best for us. He tried to give us all the love we deserve but it's too much.
"Ohh," she sobbed as if everything is coming now to her. I stared sightlessly at her.
"Victoria!" We all mumbled when she started to run outside the house.
***
Hoping na matapos na ito. Enjoy reading. Thank you so much for reaching this chapter.