Small talks
Jordan-Ella
It had been two weeks since Evan broke up with Regulus. The break up resulted in Evan crashing in Sterling and Sevrus' room, while Barty and Regulus still shared. They wouldn't sit near each other during meals and when we would study, Evan always said he would rather study alone than with someone.
I tried multiple times to speak to Regulus on the matter, but everytime he walked away from me. It wasn't hard to see that he was angry with himself for his choices on how to handle the matter. I would be lying to say I wasn't angry with him.
Recently, I had more free time since James was strict about his quidditch schedule. They had the house tournament in two days and the winner would get the house cup. He wanted to win the house cup for Gryffindor since it was his last year.
Tonight was different though. James was practicing late, so I opted to spend time with Lyra and the others in the Slytheirn common room. Ever since Evan's party, I found it easier to be around Barty, Belle, and Sterling. Their marks were irritated, meaning they both were rejecting the mark. They still felt like it was their fault we had the marks.
It wasn't though. They thought we were just meeting him. Even Tom didn't have it in his plans to brand us.
What made tonight so different was the fact that Regulus and Evan were in the same room. Willingly in the same room. When the boys came back in from quidditch practice, Evan sat down and Regulus sat two seats away from him. Evan didn't even move when he noticed Regulus. It was weird.
"Reggie?" I asked. Everyone looked up from their work and looked at Regulus, then at me. "May I speak to you privately? It will only take a few seconds."
Regulus agreed and I led the way to the outside of the common room where the staircase stood. We sat on a bench near a window where the Black Lake was still in our sight. "Have the two of you spoken yet?" I asked.
"Not about us. We spoke today about quidditch, classes, homework, but never about us." Regulus looked down at his feet and ran his hand through his hair. "I know I fucked up. I can't tell you why I pretended to be drunk or why I didn't trust him. If anything I trust him more than anyone in this world. I trust him with my life. I don't know why when it came to a chance of losing him, I couldn't trust him." He confessed.
I let Regulus words sink in and replayed them in my head. "Maybe it had nothing to do with trust. Maybe you got being scared was confused with trust. Clearly, you trust him. It's obvious when we would train or go out on missions. You trust him. Maybe you were scared of losing him. Maybe it had nothing to do with it being Barty who fancied him. You didn't like the idea of losing him."
Regulus turned his head and I could see his eyes begin to water. "I was scared. I'm scared of losing him in any type of way. Even before we were together, Evan was my soul. He still is my soul. I lost my soul when I lost him. Now, I have no idea how I'm going to get him back. He will speak about everything, but us."
"Well," I began, shifting in my seat to wrap my arm around Regulus. "If anyone knows my brother, it's me. When Evan is hurt he shuts down. If he's willing to speak to you about quidditch, don't take it for granted. At least he's speaking to you. Just let him breathe. I know Evan can't last long without you there beside him. He'll come back."
Regulus nodded as he raised his hand to wipe the few tears that began to fall down his cheeks. I pulled him into an embrace and he wrapped his arms around me. "Thank you for being my rock, Jordan. I don't want to live without Evan, but I know that between you and I, I hope I die first, so I don't have to live without you."
I pulled Regulus even closer as the words slipped out of his mouth. Regulus Black would always amaze me. Who knew the boy who hated emotions could express so much with a few sentences.
We pulled apart as a few seconds passed and I saw Belle exit the common room. "Hey, Reg, I'm going to go speak with Belle for a moment. Are you okay to go back there by yourself?"
Regulus nodded and I gave him a quick kiss on the head, before running up to catch Belle. "Belle, wait!" I spoke loud enough for her to hear. She stopped in her tracks and turned around to face me. "Is there any chance we could speak? We haven't properly spoken in almost a year."
Belle seemed unsure, but nodded. "Yeah, I was going out to the lake to get some fresh air anyway. You can join me. I think it will be nice to finally talk."
A small smile formed on my lips and I joined her side as we walked to the Black Lake. On our way, we passed the Gryffindor team returning to the castle. James raised his brow when he saw me, but I mouthed "It's okay." and he nodded.
I summoned a blanket for us to sit on and we both sat down watching the stars appear in the night sky. I spotted Sirius and Regulus easily. Both shined the brightest in their constellation.
"So you wanted to speak?" Belle asked.
My eyes were drawn to the Black Lake, while I answered Belle. "I know it wasn't really you who killed my parents." I turned to see Belle begin to open her mouth, but I stopped her. "I know it was physically you, but not mentally. Theodore put you under the imperius curse because you rejected the idea of killing Drake and Eve."
Belle shook her head in disbelief. "How in Merlin's name do you know that?"
"Your guard naturally falls when you are around Lyra and I. Sometimes the gift of reading the human mind isn't a gift. I could hear you screaming inside your head. Begging for help." I explained.
"Jordan-Ella, I cannot even begin to explain how sorry I am and how much it still haunts me that I did that. I don't care that it wasn't my choice, I still did it. I still deserve to pay the price for it when we all go to trial." Belle expressed to me.
My eyes widened when I heard the word "trial". Now it was my turn to look at Belle in disbelief. "What do you mean trials?"
"The Dark Lord will not win this war. He doesn't think every step through. He just acts. I also know he has a weakness. Everyone does." Belle began to explain. "Theodore is still on the inside of the ministry. Everyone who bears a mark when the war is over will face a trial. For those of us who have the mark, but haven't committed crimes willingly, we will face at least six months in Azkaban. There's no way around it. We will all pay the price at the end of the day for crimes we didn't want to do."
I guess the look on my face told Belle my next question. "Yes, Jordan-Ella. All of us are going. Even the three of you who are slowly becoming one of us. No one can save us. No one wants to save us."
Pulling out my cigarettes I handed one to Belle and we lit them together. "Lyra can be saved. She doesn't bear anything and hasn't been involved on either side. She's innocent in it all. The least we can do is protect her, before we are all thrown into Azkaban."
Belle only nodded. I blew out a puff of smoke and turned to look at the castle. The Head Boy and Girl's tower was in perfect view. My thoughts all went to James. What would happen when this war was over and I went to trial? "I want to say I'm shocked that my joy is being sucked away from me, but I'm not. Nothing joyful ever seems to stay in my life. Too much miserable shit takes up all the space."
"I'm glad you chose James." Belle spoke quietly. "If anyone would wait for you, it would be him. If he can wait for over a year, six months will pass quickly. Everyone sees how much he loves you. You two have a love that is worth waiting for."
------
"Are you mad that I beat Evan and Regulus in the final round." James asked, deeply staring at the quidditch trophy. "They played wonderfully. I never knew Evan would be such a good chaser. He really challenged me."
I shook my head, laughing because James had not looked away from the trophy for ten minutes. "I would only be mad if this was their last year. They have next year to win." I scooted closer to James and rested my chin on his shoulder as we both looked at the trophy. "I'm happy that you won, though! You played amazing today, James."
James turned around and I backed away from his shoulder. He sat there looking at me, like he had the words he wanted to say on the tip of his tongue. Finally, he spit them out. "I want to get married in August!"
"Of this year?" I asked in surprise.
"Of course!" James replied with a smile on his face. He crawled on top of me, which now had us where he was lying on top of me on the couch. "Jo-Ella, I don't know if you know this or not, but I picked out your ring when we went to Hogsmeade the day you met Tom. I wasn't buying anything for my mum. I was buying the ring for you. I knew then that if you hadn't made a choice by the end of June, I was proposing either way."
My eyes widened in shock, but my heart fluttered thinking about how James was so sure of me. "You got the ring before Barty and I broke up? What if we had fallen madly in love?"
James rolled his eyes, while his playful smirk stayed on his lips. "I knew you two were not madly in love and that's why I showed up to the ball that night. To prove myself. So yes, I want to get married in August. I want to spend forever with you, however long forever is."
I knew I should have mentioned what would happen to me when the war was over, but I didn't. He looked like a young wizard when they picked out their wand. I couldn't ruin this for him. "Well, since you want the wedding to come quickly, you can do most of the planning."
James pulled himself closer to me and kissed me passionately on the lips one time. "I will do anything as long as it means I have you in my arms at the end of the day." He kissed me again. "Jordan-Ella Potter. I love that name."
"What about James Rosier? Why can't you take mine?" I joked.
"First off, I have no problem with it, but I know that Evan and Regulus will get married." I raised my brow at James' assumption. James smirked."They will be back together by the end of our term. I just know it. Anyway, Regulus will take Evan's last name. Just like Sirius will take Remus'. They don't want the Black name to be carried on. Regulus will become Regulus Rosier. Besides, I like the way my last name sounds with your first name."
I pulled James closer, if even possible, and kissed his nose. "Fine. Wedding in August and I will become Jordan-Ella Potter."
James' smirk grew. "Two J.Potters. Minnie will have a heart attack!"