Iris
I need to see Aaron.
I need to see him now. Quickly I change out of my comfy clothes for something much cuter. I don't even process what I'm doing. I wash my face, brush my teeth, comb through my hair and tie it up. I slap on concealer to try and hide the puffiness of my eyes, I add a little more makeup to my face and then I'm rushing on to put my Docs at the speed of light.
Out the apartment door, I go running, out the university complex and onto the campus streets. Hopefully, he's at his place. The air is cold and the streets are illuminated by the streetlights. I run and run, until I can't feel my legs anymore, his place isn't that far anyway. My body is buzzing from both nerves and excitement just to see him.
I wonder how he's doing, what he's doing. I'm wondering about a lot of things right now. My head races with questions, with a thousand what-ifs. All of them had tied with Aaron somehow.
Without looking where I'm going I collided with someone. This person is much bigger and taller than me 'cause I'm the one who faces the brunt of the collision. "Shit," I mumble when I fall on my ass embarrassingly.
The stranger doesn't laugh at this, which automatically means morally they're a much better person than I am. Mainly because if the roles were swapped I would've fucking bellowed at this scene.
I take a split second to register what the fuck is going on when a hand reaches out to help me up.
This hand is nice as fuck, veiny with long fingers. And those fingers are decorated with expensive silver rings. So expensive that I couldn't even dream of being able to afford them. I know those hands and my breath has stopped short.
I peer up to find a frustratingly handsome face staring back at me, his body frozen, eyes wide like he doesn't know what's going to happen next. Yet his hand is still reaching for mine. It feels like it's been an eternity since I've seen Aaron, where we've both grown older but look entirely the same.
I take it hastily pulling myself up, I watch the way his eyes fly over every single point of my body like he can't believe I'm even here right now.
There are so many things I want to say. But I settle with a simple, "Hey," I send him a grateful smile just because he's right in front of me.
His eyes soften and it's illuminated by the streetlight we're standing under. He swallowed, then shakily responded. "Hi."
Silence overtakes us as each of us grapples with what the fuck we should say next. Speak, Iris. I've got to say something to him. Just tell him, that's all you got to do.
" Uh...I wanna talk to you about something."
"I would like to talk to you."
We both utter at the same time. Then a silent pause at just how awkward that was. Aaron grimaces while I let out a small laugh.
"You go first," I tell him. I can wait, I can be patient for once in my life.
"Are you sure?" His eyes flicker from one eye to another, a seriousness taking over his voice.
I nod, and he lets out a deep breath. He looks down at the ground and then I watch him almost have to force himself to look at me.
"Look, I'm so sorry. If you don't want to be friends with me anymore, even though it hurts I understand that. I truly hope that I never felt like I pressured you from being friends into something more. I do... I do like you a lot Iris. And I never want you to feel like I'm expecting all these things. I love being friends with you... I love just being with you. I like you so much it drives me crazy, even if you want to just be friends it's enough to satisfy me. If you don't want to be friends though—the thought makes me miserable but a friendship goes two ways after all."
He takes a deep breath before continuing, "I like you, I wouldn't mind it being more than friends. In fact, I would probably love it. If you regretted the kiss between us I'm sorry. But to be honest, I didn't regret it, not one bit because being close to you like that was the most enthralling thing I've ever experienced. And I'm sorry about that—"
He doesn't get to finish his little speech because I cut in. My heart is heavy and it's pounding wildly. I said I'd be patient and wait, but I couldn't even wait for him to finish.
"Aaron, listen. I said you could go first but I just need to talk. I fucked up and I'm sorry. I'm sorry I blew up at you, I didn't mean what back then in San Bernardino. I don't want you to leave me alone." I clarify, "In fact quite the fucking opposite, I don't regret the kiss, it was the best I've ever had. I promise." I take a deep breath before I continue, "Sometimes... it feels like I'm not good enough. Or I get scared that people are going to leave me because they'll realize that I'm not good enough. I got scared that you would realize I wasn't good enough and I pushed you away before you could do it yourself."
"I would never—"
I cut him off, "I know, I know. Shit... I don't know how to do this properly. I... I like you. I like you a lot. And more than like in a friendly way."
I'm trying to appear as confident as possible, but this is all new to me. I'm trying to show that I know what I'm doing, and I tried to prepare what I wanted to say in my head. But when it came to the real thing, of fucking course it came out like a jumbly incoherent mess.
I should've added more or communicated better but this is the best I could fucking do at the moment.
There's a silence between us after my words. He's frozen in place, his eyes widened and his mouth slightly parts.
I don't know whether that's a good reaction or bad.
"You... like me?" His tone drips with disbelief. Somehow it makes me feel a bit better that it seems like he's just as bad at this kind of confession shit as I am.
"Why wouldn't I?" I shrug.
I watch red blotchy spots creep up his neck, blossoming on his face, over the tiny few freckles. Even though it's dark I can still see his blush from the streetlight.
He's still the same Aaron.
He peers up at me, his beautiful face perfectly in view.
My hands twitch, an impulse taking me over and without a second thought, I clasp my arms around his neck and pull him close.
He lowers his head on my shoulder.
"You know I've missed you." It's not a question, he says it as a statement.
My heart feels so full, when he touches me, I'm overcome by the scent of his expensive cologne. The way he slowly and places his hands on my waist so gently like he thinks that I could break.
My fingers trickle up the back of his neck while hundreds of tiny goosebumps erupt from his skin. He raises his head from my shoulder, tilting his head to the side.
My lips twitch at how focused he seems. His eyes fixate on mine and I have the urge to playfully tease him about it to lighten the mood.
"You're—"
Before I could even finish, his lips caught mine. For a split second, I'm frozen in shock that Aaron is kissing me. My instincts kick in and I kiss him back.
This kiss is much different than the first one we shared, it was sweeter and slower taking our time to just let it happen.
This one feels faster, a frenzy of small touches, and heated. It's like it's been years since I'm kissing him and we both feel starved.
His once gentle grasp on my waist turns rough when he pulls me closer. My fingers intertwined with his dark waves, gaining a groan from him.
His body was on fire with how hot his fingers felt pressed against my skin. I sucked on his lips before my tongue swept into Aaron's mouth. My fingers traced down the back of his head, down to his neck, my hand laying flat on this side of his neck, his pulse going crazy.
I tried to slow down, a bit taking our time. Before breaking the kiss, leaving a quick kiss on his cheek after.
I watch the way his eyes flutter open, his skin flushed red. My eyes fall to his full lips, swollen.
"Thank you." That's the first thing Aaron tells me after the kiss.
I have to physically stop myself from wanting to fold over laughing.
"You want to thank me for kissing you?" I chuckle.
He nods sweetly and I might've melted a bit from it.
I wonder how many girls he's kissed? A weird question to think about, but I wonder how experienced he is. He's told me he's inexperienced. I know that. But honestly, I could barely tell and I don't give a fuck what he is.
My head is on a swivel as I observe some cars passing by and some people crossing the road ahead of us.
I forgot we were in public and I wanted to grind on him so badly like nobody was watching. At least they would have enjoyed the show.
Aaron catches onto my thoughts and looks around on the street where it's not very busy but it's not exactly empty either.
His expression is mixed with mortification and the tiniest bit of amusement that makes me feel smug as fuck.
A cold wind rushes through us, a shiver running up my spine from the chilly bite.
"Do you want to go back with me?" Aaron asks quickly.
I nod rapidly, I just don't want to stay out 'cause damn it's getting a little cold at night. At least cold in 'L.A' terms which means not very cold at all.
We go in the direction Aaron is walking from, we stand side by side. I take the time to try and sneak a glance at Aaron.
Just one glance, it's like an eternity has passed and I just want to look at his beautiful side profile.
But when I do, as sneakily as possible, he's already fucking looking at me. He has a soft look in his eyes.
"Would you mind if I held your hand?" His voice is in a whisper tone, just for us only to hear when we pass by others.
Something about the way he asks makes me chuckle. We've held hands dozens of times before when we were just friends. At that time, he didn't ask or look as nervous as he does now.
"No, I don't mind at all." I send him a smile when I slip my hand into his. His hand is so warm compared to the chilly nighttime wind.
His hand completely encloses mine, his hands make mine feel so small. Yet they fit perfectly together.
Everything feels so right, I don't even know how to explain it. I'm content, don't get me wrong I still feel shitty about what I did. It makes my chest tighten, and I try not to let this eat me alive on the walk back.
"You're so gorgeous, you know that?" Aaron murmurs. It breaks me out of my thoughts, and my eyes lock with his. I observe the way his eyes watch every movement of mine. They cascade across my face with a tenderness I've never known.
I lean into his body, letting myself melt into him. He's so warm, and his body is firm too. "I know." It's more of an instinctual thing to say, not in a cocky way. I couldn't help myself, it was more of an urge than anything else.
He chuckles, his perfect smile so wide and happy. I can feel the way his thumb rubs over my knuckle gently.
"Why didn't you drive to my apartment, why did you choose to walk instead?" I ask, our collision was completely unplanned.
He shakes his head, "Honestly, I don't know. My thoughts were unhinged and I just wanted to see you. So..." He shrugs.
"I make you unhinged." I tease him.
"At the highest possible caliber too." Amusement is evident in Aaron's voice. I don't know if it's possible to hear someone's smile without looking at it. But I swear I can hear it in his.
We reach his apartment complex, way more luxurious than mine. You can tell it's a way more expensive dormitory apartment. Nice facilities and everything, I'm pretty sure they share it with the other athletes who don't live in those big sports houses together.
Inside, the place is empty. Jadon's out, so it's just us. I kick off my Doc's, surveying every little thing like I haven't been here in years.
As soon as I get into his room I run and jump on his bed, so nice with an expensive mattress. His room is too clean, books perfectly stacked and on shelves.
"Excited to get into my bed already, huh?" The innuendo flies straight past his head. I just stare at him with a smirk and a raised eyebrow.
He then pauses, rewinding what he just said out loud a few times before his face flushes with redness.
I laugh when he shakes his head, he plops down next to me. I push his hair back, his brunette waves are tangled into my fingers. I lean forward to kiss him, my lips catching his.
I climb on top of his lap not breaking the kiss, his hand reaches my cheeks caressing them with his thumb.
I take my time working down his neck with kisses, starting from his jaw to pushing back the collar of his shirt to get access to his collarbone. He lets out a shaky breath when my hand sneaks under his shirt, my palm flat on his abs.
My other hand checks his pulse under his jaw, it's racing like crazy.
That's right. This is all new to him.
Though I'd love to go far with him right now, I shouldn't.
I pull back, much to his disappointment.
"Why'd you stop?" His voice is breathless as hell. His head tilted confused about why I had the sudden change of mind.
"If I took off your shirt and went any farther, I don't think I'd have been able to control myself," I tell him earnestly.
My body is a million degrees hot and we didn't even take off each other's tops. It's this feeling, I've never had to be with anyone else. This complete desire I have is so easily turned on.
He nods in an understanding tone, and we both lay back on his bed. Though he gets up a second later rummaging through his dressers and placing a pair of neatly folded t-shirts and shorts beside me.
I watch him strip out of his shirt, his glorious back muscles look like they were sculpted by the gods above. He slips a worn t-shirt over his head. He turns his head around to look at me, a smug smile plastered on his face, "So I believe I make you unhinged too." He refers back to my last sentence.
He seems so smug from that little one-liner, he just threw it out. I'll give it to him, it was pretty smooth. A wicked thought erupts in my head, one that makes me bite my lips. I slipped out of my tight top into his t-shirt.
My hand finds the back of my bra, and I unsnap it. I pull it out through each arm, fold it nicely, and put it on top of my shorts. I wiggle out of my pants while Aaron changes into loose basketball shorts.
Aaron wants to act all smooth with me?
Let's see how he acts when I'm braless, no shorts, and only in his tee. I wonder how smooth he'll be then.
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