"God Ethan, won't you just leave it alone?" I heard Erin yell from upstairs as I was in the kitchen getting a snack.
"No, I'm not going to leave it alone. It's clearly bothering you. Why won't you just tell me who it is?" I heard Ethan yell and footsteps run down the stairs.
"It's none of your damn business. I told you I don't want to tell you. I can deal with it on my own," she yelled and walked out of the door, slamming it in the process.
I walked out of the kitchen and leaned against the wall. Ethan sighed and ran a hand through his hair. He turned around and caught sight of me. I took a bite of my sandwich and looked at the kid. He looked like a wreck, not a huge wreck maybe just a fender bender.
"Trouble in paradise?" I asked.
He rolled his eyes at me. "Don't start with me, Jackass," he stormed off.
I followed after him and continued to eat my sandwich. "Hold up. I was just joking," I called after him. I caught him in the living room. "What happened?"
He sighed and took a seat on the couch. "We got into a fight," He started.
"That much is obvious," I said with a straight face. He glared at me. I put my hands up in defense. "Okay okay, please continue."
"We got into a fight because she wouldn't tell me who is coming to her house for Thanksgiving next week. She was so uncomfortable about it, but she wouldn't tell me who it was. I'm worried because I could tell she was uncomfortable about it. It's just that we're not gonna be here over Thanksgiving break and I don't want something to happen to her when I'm gone. Now she's mad at me."
I shrugged. "Maybe you shouldn't have pushed it," I offered.
"Are you kidding me? You can't say shit about not pushing things. You push shit all the time with everyone. You never let anything be, for example, right now. You couldn't leave me alone to deal with my own shit," He stood up from the couch angrily.
"Are you really putting this on me?" I asked in disbelief. "Just because your girlfriend is mad at you, doesn't give you the right to be mad at me."
"Yeah, I do because it's your fault I'm like this. You wonder where I get it from? It's you," He yelled at me. He tried to push past me to go back upstairs. I put a hand on his chest and pushed him back into the living room.
"Okay, so I'm not the best role model when it comes to this kind of stuff, but I do know that you should apologize to Erin. It doesn't have to be right now, but you need to apologize. That's the price of being like me," I said.
He rolled his eyes at me again. "I know I have to apologize. I'm just gonna leave her alone for today. Or I might go over for dinner or something."
I nodded. "Great, now what do you want to do today? I'm bored as hell."
He shrugged. "Beats me," he flopped on the couch and we decided to watch a movie or something. He fell asleep in the middle of it.
"Hey lover boy, you're going to Erin's house right?" I threw some pillows at him. He practically shot out of his seat.
"You're a jackass, you know that?" He asked and threw a pillow back at me.
I rested my hands behind my head. "Yep and you're an asshole, yet the world still spins."
He ran upstairs and came back a couple of minutes later with his keys and wallet and his hair slightly done. It was a mess but that was Ethan.
"What're you gonna do? Get her flowers and show up at her doorstep?" I questioned.
"Nope. She hates getting flowers as a gift. I'm getting her extra dark chocolate truffles, which are her favorite by the way, and showing up at her doorstep," He corrected me. "Later, Jackass," he called as he left the house.
I was left alone with nothing to do. I couldn't go on another run to pass time. I was bored with the TV. I didn't feel like doing anything and my phone is almost dead.
The doorbell rang, giving me something to do. I stood up and opened the door. Mason was standing there looking serious.
"Hey Mason," I greeted. "You good?"
"We need to talk," he said straightforwardly and seriously. He pushed through me and walked into the house.
Fuck. What did I do wrong? I ran through my recent events. I can't think of anything I did wrong. Was this about Ash getting drunk and staying the night?
I followed him to the dining room. Shit, this was serious.
"Look Mason, I'm sorry I let Ash get drunk. I made sure she was safe and she definitely didn't drive anywhere," I said quickly before he started yelling at me. He doesn't yell often. He's a very calm guy, but when it comes to Ashtyn there's no telling what he would do.
"What? Ash was drunk?"
"Hm? I don't know what you're talking about," I scratched the back of my head nervously. He obviously wasn't here about that. "What's this about then?"
He sighed and I could tell dad mode was on. I sat down slowly and looked at him. "Look, I know you haven't exactly had the best life. I know especially these past two years have been tough on you," he started.
My body immediately went rigid. Why was he bringing this up? "Mason," I growled.
He put his hand up calmly to stop me. "Hear me out, East. I'm not gonna sugarcoat this, your life has been hell and I understand that it's a lot to take for an eighteen-year-old. I need you to be completely honest with me. No bullshit, alright?"
I nodded in comprehension. I was unsure where this was going.
"Are you okay?" He asked. "Now, I don't want a bullshit answer like I'm fine. I want you to be brutally honest."
"I am fine, Mason," I said.
"That's bullshit. I know you've been having attacks, okay? I know that you use running as an escape from it."
I opened my mouth to speak, but he beat me to it.
"Yes, Ashtyn did tell me about it, but I had my suspicions. And don't get mad at her for it, she was scared and didn't know what to do."
"Okay, yeah, I do have attacks and I do run to help it, but honest to God Mason, I'm okay. I'm fine. I promise."
"What happens when you can't run, Easton? When you already ran or God forbid get hurt? It's not healthy to just sit there and let it happen."
"What else do you want me to do, Mason? I can't just stop them from happening," I raised my voice unknowingly.
Mason stayed calm. Sometimes I hated how he stayed so calm in conversations like these when I'm all fired up. Sometimes I wished he would stand up and yell in my face or punch me or something.
"I want you to consider going to a therapist. I was talking to a friend of mine and there's a plan for someone like you, who has childhood trauma, and I think it would be beneficial for you."
I stood up from my seat, heated. "What the hell, Mason? You want me to sit in front of a fucking shrink. No thank you, I'll pass," I yelled.
He stood up and placed a hand on my chest, grounding me to him. "I want you to get better, Easton. I think this is a good opportunity for you."
"Well think again, because I sure as hell ain't doing that shit!"
"Easton, just think about it, please. I sent you an email containing everything you need to know. Let me know if you have questions and I'll talk to my friend."
"I have a question. What the fuck are you thinking?"
I don't open up to people I've known most of my life and he thinks I'll open up to a fucking shrink. Ashtyn is the closest I've been to someone in years and even she doesn't know all the darkness that consumes my life and my childhood.
"Think about it," were his last words before leaving the house.
I wanted to scream. I wanted to punch something. How could he think sitting in front of a shirk would help me? How could he think I, of all people, needed that? I've been without help for the past two years and I'm perfectly fine without it.
I've already had this fight with Ethan and it didn't pan out so well.
I went up to my room and threw myself on my bed. My laptop was open with the email from Mason waiting to be clicked and read. I picked it up expecting nothing from it and I started reading.
***
"How'd it go with Erin yesterday?" I asked Ethan as I took a swig of the orange juice.
He sighed. "It went. I apologized. She forgave me. I think she's still a little mad about the whole situation though."
I clapped him on the back. "Sometimes it's just like that."
"How would you know? The only relationship you've been in for more than two days was Megan and you treated each other like shit."
"Yeah, and I learned to never get into a relationship with a she-devil ever again," I chuckled. "Oh yeah Ash is coming over soon, so put pants on before she gets here," I said as I grabbed an apple and tossed it over his head before catching it and taking a bite.
"Now there's a relationship that would last more than two days," he said under his breath but I heard him.
"Shut up, Asshole," I pushed his head.
"Make me, Jackass," he challenged.
I rolled my eyes and walked up to my room until Ash got there. My phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. It was Tyler.
"Hey man, what's up?" He asked me.
"Nothing much, what about you?" I answered and flopped on my bed.
It was weird for Tyler to call me out of the blue like this, but I didn't mind. I missed being his friend.
"Listen, what are your plans tonight?" He asked.
"Ashtyn is gonna come over for a while, but after she leaves I don't have any plans. You're not throwing another party are you?"
"Perfect dude. And there's no party, but there's this club and I know someone who can get us in. My cousin, Rico, said it was gonna be sick tonight. You gotta come and hang like we used to."
I took a deep breath and ran a hand through my hair. "I don't know, man, that's not my scene anymore. I'm done with clubs and shit."
"Come on, East. You're a senior. Your life after you graduate will be all serious and shit after you go pro in track. Live your life while you still can. What happened to the Easton that knew how to live in the present?"
"He died. I told you Tyler, it's not my scene anymore," I sighed.
He sighed. "Okay whatever man, just think about it okay? You don't have to drink or anything. Just hang. Remember the old Easton," he said before he hung up.
That's the whole point. I don't want to remember the old me. The old me was a shit show and a dick who didn't care about anyone but himself. I made some dumbass decisions and I don't want to go back.
My door opening pulled me out of my thoughts and Ash walked in. "Hey," she chirped. "You okay?" She asked as she walked closer.
I forced a smile on my face. "Yeah, just lost in my thoughts. Wanna head downstairs for a movie?"
"Yeah, sounds good," She smiled and we went back downstairs together.
"Hey Ash," Ethan said as he walked into the living room. "Are you going to Hawaii with us this year?" He asked randomly.
"Hawaii?" She asked.
"With Mason and Julia?" He said, trying to spark something.
"What are you talking about?" She asked again.
"For Thanksgiving. We go every year with Mason and Julia. I figured you'd be going too," He shrugged and plopped a candy in his mouth.
"Mason never told me about Hawaii."