"Easton, wake up sweetie," A soft voice called, waking me from my sleep.
I opened my eyes, but I wasn't at the house. I was back home and my mom was sitting at the edge of my bed. Everything was exactly as I remembered it. My mom sat with a soft smile and her chestnut brown hair, the same as mine, was thrown into a messy bun at the base of her head.
I knew this scene. I knew what happened next.
"Momma? What time is it?" I asked as I sat up and rubbed my eyes. It was still dark outside.
"Never mind that, baby. Momma has to go away for a little while, okay? She won't see you for a long time," she explained as her eyes glistened with tears.
"Are you coming back?" I asked sadly.
I could see the tears rolling down her face. I crawled over to her and sat on her lap. "Yes, baby, Momma will come back. I promise you, Easton, I'll be back. Happy birthday, baby. I'm going to miss you so much," She cried. "You take care of Ethan, okay? Will you do that for Momma?"
I nodded my head. She hugged me and squeezed me tight. "I love you, my baby boy. I will always love you," She kissed my head and laid me back in my bed.
"I love you too, Momma," I said as she walked out of my bedroom door before shutting it behind her.
What I didn't know then was that I'd never see her again. When she walked out of that door, she walked out of my life, forever.
I woke up in a sweat. My shirt stuck to my body. My heart pounded in my chest, my hands shook violently, and my breathing was quick and shallow. I couldn't get control of myself. The thoughts of everything that has happened since Mom left raced through my brain. I ran my hand through my sweat-soaked hair.
I couldn't handle it anymore. I grabbed a hoodie and threw on my running shoes. I ran out of my room and out of the house, without even realizing what time it was. The sun hasn't risen, so it had to be before six. I assumed it was around five. I didn't bring my phone with me to confirm my suspicions. I ran around the neighborhood until I stopped by a pond at a park to catch my breath.
The sun had just begun to rise and it shone right on the water. Everything was calm here. I couldn't hear the poisonous traffic. I couldn't see the trash being thrown on the streets. I couldn't smell the morning coffee and bagels in the air mixing with the other smells of the city.
It was peaceful.
I took a seat and watched the scene in front of me for a good thirty minutes. I couldn't take my eyes off of it, even with the sun in full, blazing everything. Leaves began to fall as the air got chilly.
A family walked in the grass behind me. It was a man and wife with a little girl around six and a baby in a stroller. The little girl was dancing and playing. She noticed me watching and smiled. She picked something off the ground and ran over to me. She handed me a dandelion.
"You looked like you needed this," She told me with a smile. I smiled back at her.
"Hazel, come on" the mom called with a smile.
"Bye-bye," She said before skipping away happily.
I looked back at the dandelion. I twirled it around in my hand. It was a delicate little flower, but the urban legend is that it grants wishes. I made a wish before taking a breath and blowing the dandelion in the air to release my wish into the world.
I ran back home and the sun was up in the sky. I guessed it was almost eight by now.
"Easton?" Ethan called from the kitchen.
"I'm here," I said. I bet he was worried about me. I left pretty fucking early and I was gone for hours. Knowing what day it was, didn't help.
"Thank fucking God because you scared the shit out of me," He breathed in relief when I walked into the kitchen.
"Sorry," I apologized quietly. I grabbed my protein shake from Demi, with a kiss on her cheek.
No one mentioned the words happy birthday and for that I was glad. I jumped in the shower and rinsed off all of the grime and sweat, from the run and this morning. I pretended that everything was okay and that it was a normal day. I knew that wouldn't work eventually, but for now, it was fine.
"Easton? Are we going to school?" Ethan asked me.
"You're going to school no matter what, but yeah. I think we'll go" I answered.
We made a deal last year. If I didn't go to school on my birthday, he wouldn't go either. That was a different time. I was a different person. I was still depressed and getting into fights with Sam. It was only one year after, but after that day I decided to move on with my life.
He looked at me in shock. "You want to go?" He asked me.
I nodded. "Don't make me rethink this decision, Eth. I'm trying, okay? No guarantees I'm not going to get up and walk out or beat the shit out of someone. Bring your car," I told him before kicking him out of my room, so I could get dressed.
It was almost ten by the time the two of us left the house.
"Easton?" Ash called as she saw me in the hallway. She ran up and hugged me. I hugged her back. "I wasn't sure if you were going to show up or not. Mase said you normally skipped on your birthday."
"I do," I said.
"I was going to come over if you didn't come to school," She said and we began walking in the direction of her class. I couldn't care less if I was going to be late.
Ally's words replayed in my mind. You just need to let her in.
"You should still come over. I can't guarantee I'll be in a good mood, but could you?" I asked.
I think she deserves to know why I hate my birthday so much. She is my best friend after all.
She smiled at me. "Yeah, I'll stop by," She said.
"Hey, Quincy!" Sam's voice echoed through the hall. He was behind me.
I clenched my fists and prepared for the words about to come out of his mouth. Last year, I stayed home from school and punched holes into a wall. I didn't want to deal with anyone's shit.
"Yeah?" I asked and turned around.
I could see the side of him I used to know. The side of him I used to be friends with.
"Happy birthday," he said in a normal voice.
My fists unclenched and my body relaxed. I was shocked.
"Thanks, man," I said awkwardly. I was expecting some type of insult or attempt to agitate me and make me angry. I wasn't expecting anything remotely nice coming from him, not in the past two years anyway.
He walked away and I turned back to Ash.
"Come over after school and we'll talk," I told her and walked away. She walked into her class. I reluctantly walked to mine.
***
The day went surprisingly well. I kept my mind off of anything and I mentally prepared myself for telling Ashtyn. I didn't know exactly what I was going to say to her. There was kind of a lot and I wasn't ready to let her in that deep.
"Easty?" Megan's whiny voice sounded in the parking lot.
I closed my eyes tight. I wasn't prepared for this. Maybe if I closed my eyes tight enough, she'd go away.
I opened my eyes again and she was standing right in front of me.
"Damn, it didn't work. What do you want, Megan?" I asked with a face drained of emotion, matching hers.
"It's your birthday, Easty. We should go party," She suggested with a smirk on her face as she took a step closer to me and rested a hand on my elbow.
I took a big step backward and kept her at arms-length. "I'm not interested in partying, especially with you," I sneered.
She pouted dramatically. "It's not going to happen again, Easton. I promise."
"I don't give a fuck about your empty promises. You can sleep with whoever the fuck you want, Megan. I don't care anymore. We're done. We've been done for two years," I shouted. "Go sleep with your boyfriend, cheat on your boyfriend, sleep with your fucking mailman. I don't care who the hell you sleep with. It won't have any type of effect on me whatsoever. Do both of us a favor and leave me the hell alone," I snapped and stormed off to my car.
I took a deep breath and pulled out of my parking spot violently. As soon as I got back to the house, I ran up to my room. I needed a run and a hot shower. I grabbed my running stuff and was back out the door in a couple of minutes.
I ran forever and I almost forgot that Ash was coming over. I still didn't know how much I was going to tell her. When I got back to the house, I took a quick hot shower and changed clothes. She would be here any minute.
Demi called me downstairs which meant Ash was here.
"Hey East," She greeted me with a hug. I gave her one back. It was natural and for that I was glad. She handed me an envelope. "It's from Mason and Julia. They told me to give it to you and not take no for an answer," She explained.
I took it from her. "Tell them I said thanks," I led her up to my room. I threw the card on my dresser as we walked in. She took a seat on my bed. I began pacing. It's hard to tell how long I was doing that.
"East?" Ashtyn's voice pulled me out of my head.
"Yeah?" I asked absentmindedly.
"Are you okay? You're starting to worry me. You've been really quiet and have been pacing since you brought me up here," She asked in a calm, soothing voice. She stood up and grabbed my arm lightly to stop my pacing.
I took a deep breath and prepared to tell her. I led her back to my bed and we sat together.
"There's a lot you don't know about me, Ash. About my childhood, my past, and everything I've done that made me who I am. I told you that we were adopted when I was ten, but everything before that is what is important," I started with a surprisingly steady voice.
"Easton, you don't have to tell me. I don't want you to feel pressured to tell me," She stopped me.
I shook my head. "I'm not feeling pressured to tell you, Ash. I want to tell you. If I didn't, you wouldn't know anything."
She nodded for me to continue.
"My parents fought a lot when we were growing up, but it was all verbal. It usually started with my mom, but after every fight, they apologized and made up. They were happy and we all loved each other. The night before my sixth birthday, they got into the biggest fight they ever had. When the screaming stopped, I thought it was over and everything would be okay in the morning."
I looked over at Ash. She was listening attentively. Her eyes were glazed over with tears. That's when I knew how much I was going to tell her.
"My Mom woke me up the next morning. It was really early, the sun hadn't even risen yet. She explained that she had to leave for a while and I wouldn't see her for a long time. She promised me she would come back. She told me happy birthday and that she loved me. She kissed my head and walked out of the door. It was the last time I ever saw her."
"Easton," Ash started but I shook my head to stop her. She was on the verge of tears.
"That day, my birthday, was the start of my fucked up life and that's why I hate my birthday."
"I'm sorry that happened, Easton, but your life isn't fucked up. Look around you and find the good and you'll see that. You have a brother who looks at you like you're his entire life, you have two wonderful people who want the best for you, and you have a friend who is always ready to listen. Your life isn't fucked up, you're life is beautiful," She told me and pressed a kiss to my temple.
My body stayed rigid through her speech. I almost wanted to back away when she kissed me but I didn't.
"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me."
I looked at her. "Thank you," I whispered so quietly I wasn't even sure if she could hear me.
She gave me a soft smile. "Let's watch a movie," She suggested and I agreed.
We laid back on my bed and I put on a movie. Everything was normal. Nothing changed.