minho had finished his two pieces far before jisung even got to his second one.
his movements were slow, drawn out and tired as he tried his hardest to stay awake and not choke.
minho would've felt bad given any other situation. but since he was only tired because he stayed up late at chan's place he didn't feel bad in the slightest.
"seriously. what were you doing that kept you up so late?" minho offhandedly asked, watching jisung much on the bread whilst resting his cheek against his hand.
seems like even when tired jisung could manage to be a little shit. he suddenly gave a lopsided smile, tainted by drowsiness as he snorted a little. "we had sex." he flatly lied, in his mind clearly joking.
however despite it being a joke, there was not an ounce of sarcasm detectable in the statement. minho stared blankly at him, eyes unmoving.
the way he said it sounded serious. it sounded like he was even taking a moment to recall the events of last night with the way he paused.
jisung continued eating, taking the final bite and putting it in his mouth, not finding a reason to sit up anymore and instantly melted back into minho's side once he was done.
however the older moved away. "you and chan are a thing?" he questioned, still staring at the younger's side profile as he chewed.
after being rejected from resting against him, jisung blinked and finally brought his eyes to open fully. it was difficult given the cold air and the sensitivity, but he swallowed down his food before using his own arms as pillows.
"no." he sighed, closing his eyes again. "we're not. but i bet if i asked him to give me a kiss he would." he thought. "well.. he'd be shy about it but still would do it."
minho found his brain slowing for a second, turning his body slightly more towards the younger. "so you two didn't actually.."
"do the nasty? no." jisung snorted to himself at how ridiculous the idea even sounded. "i was just trying to joke.. he actually fell asleep waaay before i did." he hummed.
minho rolled his eyes at the idiocy of his roommate and turned his body back to the way it was. "you're a fucking dumbass." he mumbled, bringing a hand down to jisung's arm to move him back on his arm.
jisung smiled while leaning his cheek against minho's shoulder, loving both the scent and warmth it resulted in.
ha shivered slightly before moving closer.
"why didn't you sleep then?" minho asked.
the thought of telling the truth flashed by in jisung's mind, but no amount of being tired would get him to spill that information all by himself.
so instead, he shook his head against minho's shoulder and huddled a little closer, chasing more warmth. "just couldn't." he said. "was thinking."
minho looked down at his face. "thinking about what?" he looked down at the curve of jisung's eyelashes. "of me?" the suggestion was hidden behind a little snicker.
however jisung lifted his head up a little, not pulling so far back. he was used to every tease by now. he was familiar with every time minho's voice would dip into a sly tone.
except this time it felt different. it felt slightly off with the way he said it.
especially after the revelation, the teasing did get to him this time. he no longer hated it. instead he liked it. it made him decide to play it back.
"yes." he said, sleepy eyes dipping down to the rest of minho's features.
it felt like the cold enveloped them. it made a little bubble that was hard to break out of. jisung saw something spark behind minho's eyes, and even though he was tired he could feel his heart racing harshly in his chest.
jisung may have moments of boldness in occasion. he may act like he has the upper hand- or try his best to at least prove it- but truth be told, he was weak when it came to feelings.
he was easily swayed. easily knocked off his feet and truthfully not confident at all. however if there was one thing he was good at- it was faking it.
and if faking was what he needed to do to get a confession out of minho, he'll fake it til he dies.
the odd sudden intimacy of the moment had minho withdrawing first, eyes moving off to the side with a slight tilt to his lips. as if slightly laughing at the statement.
but it was the truth.
"oh yeah?" he leaned his hand back against his chin as he looked over the younger. "what were you thinking of?" he asked. "how much you're in love with me? or our relationship of seven years?" his eyebrow raised.
this was something they do all the time. this was not new to either of them. the teasing, the taunting, the mocking. but jisung couldn't help the way his heart raced faster.
jisung tiredly smiled; smushing his cheek further against minho's forearm with a heavy sigh. "both." he sang, allowing himself to drown in the fast beating of his heart and the giddiness that came with it.
even if it was playing around, he'll take minho like this with no problem. if it would allow him even just a second more of the warmth he grew reliant on.
"ahh i see." minho absentmindedly said, bringing the hand he was resting against up to take a small piece of lint that fell on jisung's cheek. "you must really like me."
jisung felt his cheeks flush a little red as he brought his head down slightly. "i do."
he heard minho hum against him. "well in that case, we should continue with our venture." he said, and jisung felt a little twig of disappointment snap inside of him.
to minho it must've just been a game. he didn't know that he was telling the truth.
jisung just needed to find a single sliver of hope. he needed to know if there was a possibility of shared feelings or not. so bringing himself back, he sat up and loosely looped his arm around the one he was previously laying against.
"you know.. a boyfriend of seven years should carry his boyfriend around if he's sleepy. it's only the right thing to do." he said, and he looked straight into the older's eyes. "if you like me."
there was a moment of dead silence as minho took in the statement. his eyes briefly landed down to the arm looped around his own before he made eye contact again.
"if i like you?" he mimicked. "how could i be in a seven year relationship with someone and not like them. that doesn't really seem like a stable relationship to me." he said.
jisung accepted the reply. it wasn't a complete shut down and it wasn't what he wanted, but he'll take it.
"then carry me." he extended his arms outward in an admittedly confident way. "i'm too tired."
that part wasn't a lie. he really hadn't felt better after eating- if anything it made him even more tired.
however what did make him feel awake was the sudden touch of minho's hands against his arms to pull him to stand.
"you're ridiculous." he said, turning around and bringing jisung's arms up over his shoulders nonetheless.
racing wasn't even the word. jisung's heart was full on sprinting.
where his arms came around minho's neck, it was pure fire. it was tingly and his skin felt ablaze from underneath. it was all in a matter of seconds that his body reacted before his mind could.
"jump." minho then said, and jisung could've passed out right there.
he didn't expect minho to take his request seriously. never in a million years. he actually expected to be shut down or laughed at, but at least that would've given him a clear indication that minho didn't like him.
but this? he responded to it as a joke and it still wasn't clear. yet despite the sarcasm, there he was agreeing to give him a fucking piggyback ride.
jisung did was he was told, jumping up only a little but despite this, minho was able to hoist him up onto his back easily with barely any effort.
please don't feel my heart.
it occurred to him that having chest-to-back contact was not a good idea. the only saving grace was the fact that they both were wearing jackets; jisung's being thicker and possibly acting better as a shield.
he subconsciously tensed up once secure on minho's back, sucking in a breath without even realizing it.
"good?" minho stopped to ask before trying to walk, and jisung swallowed harshly and nodded his head. "okay."
and with that, they started moving.
~~~
jisung was hanging on in pure disbelief for majority of it.
not even bothering to try going to sleep again, he held on tightly to minho with slight wide eyes that were stuck to the passing ground- still in disbelief this was even happening.
part of him felt embarrassed.
he didn't understand why especially since this was at his own request. but the fact that minho seemingly did not care about carrying him around at a school event where anyone can see them made his head spin.
his chin was resting just at the crevice of minho's shoulder as they walked.
he stared down at the sparkly bits in the concrete and the frost painting the tips of grass as he tried to calm his heart.
by this point minho had passed a few stands, pausing in front some of them and looking at what they were offering. jisung would silently look too, occasionally glancing over at something if it peaked his interest with his eyes.
since it was a farmers market there of course was a lot of food, but some of the students pitched in to help with fundraising by selling items other than food. those were the ones that really caught jisung's eye.
after a few minutes, minho walked away from a stand which he stopped at briefly and continued walking. at this point, jisung was able to somewhat regulate himself.
but of course that was the moment minho decided to say something.
"you sleeping?" the question was spoken at a lower volume, as if being weary of the possibility that the boy on his back was indeed knocked out.
minho's voice was so soft. if it were to be described in any way, jisung would say it was like velvet. the volume, the texture- everything.
and the way it sounded right next to his ear left jisung's mouth unable to move. his pulse was suddenly rising despite all the time and effort he took trying to bring it down.
he didn't reply, instead keeping still and making sure not to move as minho continued his pace through the stands.
after a while he felt himself slightly slipping from minho's grip, to which the older hoisted him up and adjusted his hold on his legs- mimicking the same situation from the love competition.
except this time he felt far more.. careful.
his hands didn't grip him as hard and it appeared that he was being careful of where jisung's head was, trying not to move his own head too much in case he accidentally nudged it.
jisung looked at where minho was holding him.
those hands were the same ones he used to hate so badly.
those hands were the ones he fought with. those hands were the ones bruised with hatred and loathing.
those were the ones that often balled up in frustration
but they were also the ones that helped heal jisung's arm.
they were the ones that wiped away his tears and left soft tracks against his skin.
they were the ones that were attentive and impossibly gentle.
they were the ones that picked the pieces up from the ground and melded them together.
and now there they were, holding him securely and making sure he didn't bump into anything or anyone.
these hands couldn't possibly be apart of someone who didn't have a sweet heart. they couldn't possibly belong to someone bad.
and that's exactly why jisung liked them so much.