Jennie is stuck to my hip tonight, which is a far cry from how she has been the last two months, but of course, I would never push her away. It had taken some convincing, but my fiancee had finally agreed to leave the house to meet Jisoo.
I had first suggested inviting her to our house, but Jennie refused to allow her into our home. I was hoping she would feel differently after today, but so far, I'm not feeling optimistic.
Jisoo approached our table with a smile, making direct eye contact with Jennie, but although Jennie returned the smile, her face was one of sour disgust which didn't compliment the faux smile too well.
An urge to scold her tugs at me but when Jisoo sits down in front of us, I feel Jennie shudder slightly, and that's when she leans into my side, in the crook of my arm, quietly seeking my protection and comfort.
"Hey, guys. Jennie, how are you?"
The silence that follows Jisoo's question is awkward but it is fleeting because several seconds later, Jennie finds her voice. "Fine." A reserved and rude response that awakens the voice in my head and prompts me to breathe out my frustration. I smile at Jisoo in an attempt to ease the tension that had settled thickly between her and the girl by my side. She smiles back knowingly.
"I'll get this round of drinks," Jennie says suddenly, scraping her chair against the floor and walking away without waiting for a response.
"You convinced me but forgot to convince your wife," Jisoo points out in a snarky voice.
"She's not my wife yet," I respond, my eyes watching carefully at every step Jennie took. I often found myself watching her when she walked away from me nowadays, but she did well not to disappear from my line of sight since that day at the mall.
"No? What are you waiting for?"
"I want you to be there." I don't see how Jisoo's expression responds to what I just told her, I'm still watching Jennie who was now talking to the bartender.
"And what does Jennie think about that?"
"It doesn't matter what she thinks. It's my decision." In my peripheral vision, I see Jisoo straighten in her seat.
"Well, I'm impressed. I was almost convinced that she had you on a tight leash."
I bark out a laugh. "Not a chance." Jennie makes her way back to us, balancing three drinks in her arms. "But maybe don't mention it to her just yet."
"She doesn't know that I'll be there?"
"She's not fond of the idea."
"So, she'll find out on the day."
"I was hoping that she got over herself today, but if she doesn't, then yes, she'll find out on the day. It won't matter. She'll marry me either way."
"You're very sure of her love for you," Jisoo points out sceptically.
It's very naive. She doesn't even love us anymore.
Before I can answer Jisoo, Jennie is back within earshot of us. I stand quickly to help her with the drinks before we both sit back down. Jennie is the first to down her drink followed by Jisoo while I leave mine untouched.
"I heard you got a job from your internship, Jennie," Jisoo makes another attempt to conversate with Jennie and once again, Jennie stares at her blankly for a few moments before bothering to reply.
"Yes." I turn to her to give her a pointed look but to my surprise, I hear Jisoo laugh. "Something funny?"
"Why do you hate me so much, Jennie? Is there a reason? I know some shit went down between us, but I have more reason to hate you than you do to hate me, so if I can get over it then why can't you? At least for Lisa's sake. I mean, it's not like I was the one who killed your mum or something."
Jennie's whole body stiffens. I quickly place a hand on her thigh which I hope is both comforting and warning. A warning not to react. She reaches over and takes my drink, downing it in one go and scrunching her face at the bitter taste. Jisoo eyes her expectantly.
"I should have killed you when I had the chance," Jennie spits the words out without emotion and it's not only Jisoo that's taken aback. She hadn't taken my warning. I pinch her thigh lightly with a more firm caution but she pinches me back twice as hard.
She doesn't listen anymore. So rude. She needs to be taught a lesson.
Jennie laughs suddenly. "But you and Lisa are right, Jisoo. What's in the past is in the past, and we can't change it, no matter how badly we may want to." It seemed two shots of vodka had loosened Jennie's tongue a little, despite them barely having a chance to kick in, and it didn't seem like she was holding back. "But do you want to know why I hate you so much, Jisoo? It's because I think you're a bad influence on Lisa."
Both Jisoo and I laugh in response to that. Jennie smiles like she expected that exact reaction.
"It's funny, isn't it? Because Lisa's the big bad monster who kills without a second thought. But you're the one who takes advantage of that, Jisoo. If you truly cared about her, you wouldn't egg her on in the way that you do."
"Is this because I told her to kill you? From what I know about Lisa already, I assumed she would have done that anyway and you had left me chained up in your rotting basement with your rotting mother." Jennie tenses again, but her smug smile remains. "I was pissed at you, and rightfully so. Lisa doesn't need me to tell her to kill people. If she wants to do that, then that's exactly what she'll do."
But we haven't killed in so long. Since Jennie, you've only managed to kill one person.
There's no reason for me to kill anyone.
You're sloppy. Weak. You couldn't even kill that dumb blonde Australian.
"I don't think Lisa enjoys killing as much as you make out," Jennie says.
"When then you clearly have no idea what kind of person you're marrying."
"I know her better than anyone," Jennie snaps, slamming her palm against the table. I snake an arm around her waist to calm her. She softens slightly.
"Why don't we ask her then?" Jisoo says and then suddenly all eyes are on me.
I laugh awkwardly, letters scrambling in my mind as I try and string a sentence together but it's hard when the voice is shattering every coherent thought.
"Excuse me," I stand and walk away from the table promptly. Probably not the best idea in hindsight, but luckily, Jennie follows steadily on my heel.
You're as weak as Jennie is. She's poisoned you. You don't listen to me anymore, only her. Look at all these people around us.
My eyes flicker around the different people in the bar. Some in groups, some in pairs and some on their own. None evoke any reaction in me.
Not long ago, you would have analysed every single person and picked out the best one to kill. On a good day, you would have followed through and killed them.
There's no reason to kill any of them. They haven't done anything.
Weak! You never needed a reason before. You didn't think about whether they deserved it or not because it doesn't matter! Weak!
By the time I get inside the single toilet, I'm finding it hard to breathe. I swing the door close behind me, but it swings back open and reminds me of Jennie who had been on my tail.
"Lisa?" I turn to face her whilst my feet back away until my back hits the sink. Even then, I lean backwards, away from Jennie, my heart rate quickening and my breaths becoming increasingly shallow and desperate.
"Hey, Lisa, it's okay," Jennie reaches her hand out despite me retreating from her touch. The voice screams and then Jennie's hand is on my cheek with her arm around my waist, her face but a couple of inches from mine as she stands on her tiptoes to be eye level with me.
There's no more space for me to escape so I have no choice but to accept her touch. The voice comes to an abrupt silence and just as quickly, Jennie pulls my head into her chest. I turn my face quickly with the intent to pull away, but when my nose finds its way to the crook of Jennie's neck, I suddenly discover an endless amount of oxygen.
I breathe in, still desperate but deeply now, and my lungs refill whilst my heartbeat calms.
"Jen," I gasp her name and she hugs me tight. I accept the embrace and return it, quickly coming to the realisation that it's exactly what I needed right now.
"Are you okay?" She asks in a gentle tone. The exact tone she used to talk to me in before everything turned sour. The one that made me want to give in to her every demand.
"I'm okay." It wasn't a lie. I was okay now.
She pulls my face from her neck to meet her eyes. She smiles warmly, but only a few seconds later, I see her eyes flicker, followed by her smile slowly fading.
"Jennie?"
"Hmm?"
"What's wrong?"
"Nothing."
Liar.
I'm tempted to press and get an answer, but if she's keeping her thoughts a secret from me, then it would be for a reason, and no matter how much I asked, she would remain tight-lipped. The only way to find answers was to look for them myself, in the right places. Where she couldn't hide or keep secrets from me.
But it wouldn't be easy to delve into her mind. My mind wanders back to Jennie's tactics. How she had gotten me drunk and found out whatever she wanted to know. I doubt it would be that easy for me. Jennie's not stupid, and it seemed that especially lately, she was always on her guard. I would need to use my own methods to change that.
For now, though, I cup her cheek and press a kiss against her lips before throwing an arm around her and leading her out of the cramped room, back to Jisoo where she was waiting for us with a curious look in her eyes. I wasn't sure how I was going to answer her questions right now.
"I got us another round," she says as Jennie and I return to our seats. Jennie downs hers once again and this time I choose to do the same. "Are you okay, Lisa?"
"Of course," I say through the bitter taste of alcohol that remained in my throat and slightly burned in my chest. I didn't drink often. Jisoo nods at me, unconvinced.
"I've invited Jisoo to our wedding," the words fall out of my mouth before I can think twice and Jisoo almost chokes on her drink whilst Jennie's head swings towards me.
"What?"
"I want her to be there."
"We talked about this."
"I know, and I decided that she'll come. It's fine now we're leaving everything in the past, right?" Jennie looks at me with a fire burning in her eyes and I know it's far from fine. To my surprise though, she says nothing more.
"I'd love to be there. Have you set a date?" Jisoo asks whilst Jennie turns her gaze to her empty shot glass.
I shake my head. "Not yet, but we will soon."
"I can't wait."
"Neither can I," Jennie mutters loud enough for my ears only.