❝ If it's all in our head, maybe it's just an illusion. An illusion of non-existent space & lies. ❞
. . .
With each blood drop, oozing out yellowish discharge; my head made a collision with a hard knock; which might be a wooden desk— I really don't remember anything after that. The throbbing pain was anguishing, and was blocking my vision. Slowly it surfaced through my whole body; and I met with the darkness.
It's maybe middle of the night, when slowly I started to get my consciousness. The peripheral vision was hard to avoid; but surprisingly there's no pain in my body. I'm feeling light instead. Am I dead? Is it the end?
I touched my head, no— there's no sign of blood or anything. What's happening? And this room; isn't mine. Where am I? There is a staircase in the middle of the room. And the walls of this room; is oddly painted with pink, blue— making a hard wreck in between with the plain white lines.
Who the heck has this kind of room? Even if it's midnight as I thought it would be, since I fainted around the evening. But there's no room for any windshield; or window to see the view outside. Hours have passed; yet it feels like no time has passed.
Without any choice; I decided to ascend the staircase. As I ascend the stairs one by one; nostalgia is clicking back in my spine. Albeit I have never been in this room before, right?
Surprise gasp escapes from my mouth, the upstairs room is nothing like the previous place, where I regain my consciousness. I couldn't conclude anything —this room is oddly familiar. Despite having a shiny white floor; it has a wooden floor. And an earthy smell, woodenhead aroma filled up; with diligent light curtains enclosing the slight touch of monolith.
Despite being in the room for the first time, it feels like I am familiar with each side of this room, as I glance from the walls— I notice there's a bed, comforting enough. There's a table in the bedside corner; and some toys, which are probably for any child, are scattered in the corner.
I'm loitering, it's not a lie— I am clueless, these aren't making any sense; yet I am at ease, like this is where I have always been. While frantically looking for any sign of existence, a huge shrinking voice pulls me to look at the destination. There's a girl —about 6/7 years old, and she's looking at me with so much fondness. I would have thought she'd be my other piece if I didn't know better.
I cease to break the silence, so I start to walk over there. She smiled at my direction.
"How are you doing, Eli?" she asked & gestured to me to sit beside her.
"I— how do you know me?" I couldn't hide my mortifying voice. What's with this girl, making skin crawled with fear yet my better judgement says she couldn't do any harm, can she?
"Come on, you're my friend. You'd hit your head. Quite happens," she murmured, "Will you play with me?"
Just when I opt to say, loud footsteps are echoing. It takes a few seconds before; she says, "You should hide. Mom can't see you. Yeah, she can't —"
"But—" before I could utter anything, I was suddenly in a light state, like a feather and I was slowly sinking into. . her head. What just happened? There's a lady in her thirties. She is looking elegant, she's wearing a navy blue dress which is hugging her body like another skin— yikes! Isn't she feeling suffocated?
"Why are you still awake, Liv? You should be asleep now. Besides, you have school tomorrow," she said while ushering her towards bed.
The girl has a morbid face now, "But mom! I don't have school tomorrow. It's a holiday. Can you please tell a bedtime story? I promise to sleep after that," she said with a hopeful tone.
"Ah! Sorry, darling. Your vacation has slipped out of my mind. And no, I can't recite anything. Just go to bed. I gotta go to a party now," the lady is in urgency now.
"But, mom —"
"Hush! Sleep now."
And the lady went away, with her polished boots. Strange, how can a parent be so neglectful? Can't she see Liv's dull mood? Slowly my form started to appear again in front of her. Describing this haunted event, seems frenzy now but whatever!
So, "Your name is Liv," I said. She turned her back; I thought she's ignoring —"Olivia," she corrected. "How do you know me?" This isn't something to negotiate here. I'm sure this ridiculous thing has more depth than it seems.
This time, she turned out & confounded something —which was enough to shake this wooden floor. "Because I've created you," she answered. "Wha-t do you mean, you've created me?" I stuttered.
"Just like Fay did, in her life. You know, with pretty brown eyes; a messy bun. You are just like her. A friend that I have always wanted," she enthusiastically said while clapping her hands together.
How can a six years old create me? This is impossible yet I feel like I have always had this conversation with her. My head is shaking. "You mean, you have created me; out of curiosity —by a television series?" I asked her.
She hums in response, and gestures to me to sit in the bed. "Yeah, I have always wanted a friend. But I have always said that you seem like you have a pretty bad memory Eli," she wrinkled her nose.
"And don't you think you have a pretty big mouth, considering your age?" I retorted.
"Ha-ha! Funny you're! Just like always. I have never liked the kids around me. They always want to play some dumb robotic game. I don't want to. I want to have a thrill in my life; just like Jackson —he does action, to save people. Isn't it fun?" she said.
What kind of a girl is she? Isn't she supposed to play with dolls now? Like those beyblades? And having to watch Disney movies? "Liv—" Yeah, even her name, it doesn't feel like it's rolling out in my tongue for the first time. I have said this name but how? My mind is getting filled with clouds now. "Olivia, shouldn't you watch Disney movies, like Cinderella & castle?" I said.
"Eww, no. This is for kids. And I am not a kid. Mom & Dad can watch it, they said I can watch whatever they want but they always have no time for me," her tone is saddest now.
"Aww!" Come here, I am here for you, Liv. You shouldn't be worried. "Yes, I know. That's why I have made you, you're my friend. Yeah, I know they said I shouldn't befriend adults. But I know, you're good for me. Besides no one can see you," she gives a cheeky smile.
And that's when the bell starts to ring. All memories started to rush; they're forcing their way into my mind. I have been in this room before, my collision — Olivia asked me to bring her favourite beyblades from downstairs. And I slipped.
"I know what you're thinking. After all, you always forget. Don't know why you always forget; everytime you slip. I'd like to revive you back. You're my only friend, Eli," she added.
"Am I not dead?" Of course, not. How can I die, when I am just in someone's head?
She shakes her head. "I can always revive you, just like Fay did to bring her friend," she proudly said. "Will you help me to sleep? I'm feeling tired, Eli."
Then I started to lure her to sleep, it's not long enough when her eyes started to doze off. And I got up, gazing through the paints of the wall. True enough, I remembered my first time here. I eluded my place through her brain, and she gave me a name Eli.
Her daily life is pretty much boring, she did tell me about her school days where her friends teased her & bullied her for racism. And her parents don't really care about her.
With no certainty friends, and having no one to care about her, my birth happened. She created me, a friend to always be with her. And I always stay by her side to protect her. I always play beyblades to her & sometimes make action.
Today was one of those days, when I collided & forgot momentarily. Just like this, our days go on. But I have no existence, right? I'm just residing in her mind.
What if Olivia doesn't need me one day? [. . .] Although I won't let this happen. Since my existence is only alive because of her imagination.
And I turned off her bedside lamp & slowly this wooden floor isn't shaking anymore but a silent avails in.
"Sleep, Olivia. You won't have to worry, because I will always be with you," I said viciously.
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Makes sense or doesn't make sense at all?