LEERA POV
Sitting on the settee on the swimming poor area in the backyard, I hugged the pillow and remained drowned in thoughts. It's been 2 days since that night. That night after he made me food and he dropped me to the villa when I said I wanted to come back here. We didn't talk anything more than that other than me asking him to bring me back here. And I haven't seen him since last 2 days. He didn't come home and I have no idea where he is.
I cried. I cried a lot. I did give myself to him that night but I did it just so that I could get away from it. I thought he wanted my body and once he gets it, he would care less about me and I'll get away from him.
I took in the hurt, giving myself to him. But when he confessed everything happened between us was a conspiracy of his dad, I didn't know what to think anymore. And when he said he lost his mother, the day I broke up with him it internally broke me apart seeing the pain in his eyes when he spoke and knowing how much he loved his mother.
I always wanted to meet his mother, always getting to hear about her from him. I knew his love for his mother was unconditional. It wasn't that I didn't know his mother died, I knew that from news. But news said it was from sudden heart attack cause oviously they concealed it. And the time I knew it was late and Azezal was gone. I had no idea where he was. I never tried to contact him and he never did too. But I never ever thought it would be because of me.
Yes. He's right. His mother would have been living this day if it weren't for me. I'm remoreful with pain but I'm also mad with him that he didn't tell me any of these even after he knew. It's his fault too. And I was too messed up to talk to him that night.
When I felt better, I asked Pelima about him cause he was no where to be seen, but she said she didn't know where he is. Maybe he is trying to give me space or avoid me and truly it helped me somewhat to relax and calm down to a better state but now it's agitating me so much more and I need to face him even when I'm kind of anxious to even see him.
"Hi. I'm your swimming coach, Natasha." A girl came in appearance all of a sudden breaking me apart from my thoughts. She looks young and fit. Pelima informed me Azezal hired a coach for me to help me with swimming and she was coming, so I was waiting for her here basically.
He said he would teach me himself first but now maybe he's too busy or maybe he doesn't want to bother teaching me after that. Either way maybe it's better for me that he won't be teaching me anymore cause I know how I deal with his proximity everytime he's so damn close. But it kind of hurt me.
"Hi. I'm Leera." I shook her hand which she forwarded to me for a handshake with a stiff smile.
"I know. I'm from New York Swimming Federation. Sir, hired me to coach you." She smiled at me. He bought a coach from New York just to train me?
A faint smile crossed my lips. I'm recovering my fear of water very slowly but its happening at least. And now for that I'm truly thankful to him even if I can't express my gratitude.
"Yeah I'm aware. I'll change and then we can start." I gave her a small smile and asked her to wait for me.
* * * * *
The only partner I have here is Pelima and Casper. Probably It's because of them I'm still managing to exist here anyhow. Casper runs after me the whole day and doesn't let me feel lonely.
I mostly spend my whole day with books, food and Casper probably. And Casper and my Favourite place is the backyard garden. Pelima is such a motherly figure who is so much affectionate towards me too and I love spending time with her.
"What are you making?" I asked Pelima, leaning against the kitchen counter. "Italian Soup. You haven't tasted my 'The Best Dish' I can make yet." She said in her Italian accent and I gave her a small smile watching her cook. "Eager to taste."
"Can I ask you one thing?"
"Sure" she replied consumed in stirring the soup. "Can you tell me about Azezal's mother?" She looked at me and smiled. "Why not?"
My heart ached after she was done telling me about her. She told about what a wonderful woman Azezal's mom was a lot about the past. She showed me pictures of them and Azezal's tiny self too. I laughed while holding back my tears hearing her stories of Azezal's younger self. She also told me about Elena and Azezal's bonding which reminded me of my little sister Elle and suddenly made me miss her.
"Azezal's mother was very fond of gardening and that's why there is still the botanical garden in the backyard alive she used to look after when she lived in Italy."
I knew after Azezal was 16 they moved to USA from Italy but here lies a whole damn family history. His father is Italian and his mother was American. And this mansion is so beautiful and huge but it lacked something which didn't make it feel like home.
"I always considered Azezal as my child as I saw him grow up since he was born. After his mother's death he was in Italy for 2 years. He loved his mother very much and that incident stroke him really hard. He grew up in Italy and this place is full of memories of his childhood and mother. So I knew he came back here so that he could feel everything free and gladly I was here to look after him. He really changed after that, he changed into someone who hardly talks even with me, and his anger issues were in a serious level that he also needed therapy." My heart clenched tight. It's all because of me? He suffered from a lot and the amount of guilt I'm feeling right now is indescribable. I wish I had looked back when he disappeared from my life after that night. Maybe he won't have suffered this much?
I ate dinner with Pelima and complimented her soup which was delicious on another level. I was never a soup fetish but hers was truly amazing and mouth watering.
Now as I'm lone in his room which inquired his absence and I have no idea where he has been the last 2 days. Neither I have seen him, nor heard from him.
It's almost been half of month since I have been married to Azezal. Not too long but it feels like I have been trapped here since a year.
Now that I know everything about the past, I don't know what am I supposed to do. But there are still a lot of questions which are boring into my head for long now. He could have just revealed everything to me before he married me instead of forcing me into this marriage. And maybe everything he has done to me, I'll be able to forgive him but forget? That is never.
I traced the marks he left on my body with my fingertips while changing my dress. They are fading away but these reminds me of that night he did it. He was inside me. He made love to me.
"I don't want to fuck you Leera. I want to make love to you. And that's a momentous difference." His words rang in my head as I closed my eyes.
His kisses were full of love and devotion. Love?
"For me love was you. Love is you. Love will always be you. Whether you believe it or not, nothing in this world can change it and I can't let you go this time. I'll die, Leera. I'll die." My heartbeats fastened as my brain repeated those words again. Then I slipped my sleepwear over my head, covering all those marks he left on my body which makes a shiver run down my spine everytime I see them.
I tapped the phone that he send for me after that night because I complained about being controlled and not getting to speak to my parents. It's not that type of stupid customized phone. It appeared to be a normal phone with every normal features.
I didn't go through it before. But now as I got in the contact list, I saw my parents number saved along with Elena, Pelima and his. My fingers craved to tap on his number. Should I call him and ask where is he? I'm actually worried for him now and it's been long. Is he in any trouble or anything happened to him? Should I? I kept on thinking and then ended up calling my father instead cause I was too hesitant to call him.
Tears ran down my eyes when I heard his voice after so long but I tried to speak casually. He was so much rejoiced and told me how much he missed me. I told him that I lost my old phone and couldn't contact him and Azezal was also busy.
"When are you coming back, daughter?" He asked eagerly. "Soon." I don't know.
"What about your residency? Will you shift to California for it?" Then it hit me up. My medical residency? My career? What about it?
"I think so dad. We haven't talked about that yet. Or maybe I'll do it somewhere else." I said but I'm uncertain if I'll ever be able to complete my life plans now. "Who is it? Leera? Give me the phone I want to talk to her." I heard my mother speak from the other side of the phone and smiled biting my lip.
My eyes moistened as I talked to her and then I spoke to my little sister Elle. "I miss you big bish." I could hear it in her voice. "And I miss you small bish." My heart finally felt relieved after talking to them.
Then after that his thoughts were worrying me again but I don't know whether I should call him or not. Maybe I should call Elena? She might know?
I called her number. She was also very blissful, talking to me. "Soo, what are your honeymoon plans? And when are you two coming back? Aaron is literally making me crazy for you two to come back."
"You know your brother, he's busy. Do you think he has time for honeymoon and vacations?" I fidgeted my fingers making up another excuse cause I don't know what else to say.
"Don't worry about that. I'm here." I could imagine her face winking as she said that. But the main question is where is he now?
"Where is Azezal?" She asked as if reading my mind. "Working as usual. Sometimes I think work is his wife not me." She gave out a soft laugh as I lied. "I know that brat."
"Talk to Aaron. He is dying to talk to you." She passed the phone to Aaron. "Leera. LEERA." I had to pull the phone away from my ear because his voice was excitingly loud. A small smile formed my lips talking to him.
He told me about the new games he bought and that he is eagerly waiting to play with me and his bestfriend which is Azezal.
"I miss you and bestfriend. Come back soon." He said in his adorable voice with sadness reflecting in his voice. "We'll come back real soon."
"When?" He asked again. "That will be a surprise."
* * * * *
His lips travelled down my neck, making me entirely immerse into him. I moaned out "Aze" as he nibbled on swell of my breast.
My fingers pulled his hair in agitation and desire but he's no where to stop. He smirked and kissed between the curve of my bosom. His warm breaths and the warmness in his hands and lips as he touches me feels like heaven I'm driven into.
He took my right nipple inside his mouth and sucked it until it turned sore. Entire time his eyes fixed on me, to see how I'm reacting. "You like this, don't you?" He grinned. My breathing, heartbeats and I'm an entire mess.
He took his time with my one breast and then his lips encircled around my other one as he cupped them both in his hands, watching me. I moaned out feeling myself at the peak even when he didn't touch me there yet.
I could feel his teeth against my skin marking my body as he please. When he was done kissing and nibbling onto every inch of my upper body his hand made it's way down my body, inside my panty. I gasped as he touched me there while sucking me out of breath.
He just gave me a gentle stroke and my thighs clenched together, while his hand is still inside my panty. "Do you want me suck this swollen wet sweet cunt?" He tapped upon my folds and I was forced to bit onto my lips. He talks dirty with such a face it literally curls my toes and makes me forget the breathing procedure.
"I can eat you out all day and night if you want me to."
My eyes jolted open and I woke up, sitting clenching the blanket. My breaths deep and loud that echoed the whole room, with no other presence of anyone.
I placed a hand on my chest and closed my eyes for a while. Fuck? I was dreaming those?
I breathed through my mouth and looked around the room finding it empty and silent. The hell is wrong with me?
Searching for water on the nightstand, I found the jug empty. I need to get some water from the kitchen. I sighed taking the empty jug with me as I got up from his king sized bed that lacked his presence. I don't know how am I feeling anymore that he isn't here. And every moment of that dream is still playing on my head on repeat and the thoughts are itself enough to clench my thighs and make my knees go weak.
I walked through the empty corridor. No maids and servants stay here at night except Pelima. But Pelima also stays here in the quarter far enough. As I was scared I told her to stay with me the last night but tonight she went her home for some family emergency and said she would return tomorrow early in the morning.
Well the whole mansion is well guarded with guards outside in every corner but still the feeling of being alone in this entire mansion is horrifying.
All of a sudden I felt something soft touch my feet and jolted hugging the jug to my chest. I looked down. "Ah Casper." I got down my eyes and ruffled him. "You woke up? Come will me I'm scared." I murmured to him and he followed me after barking, giving me a response.
I filled the jug from the kitchen and while climbing up the stairs I noticed someone in the slight dark sitting on the settee in the living area. Who is that? Aze?
"Hush. And stay here." I said to Casper. He didn't follow me as if he understood me. Setting the jar, I climbed down the stairs. I came closer taking silent steps.
His head leaning back and he's in a white shirt which is tucked out. His hair ruffled and his eyes closed with a cigarette burning in his hand. I watched him and then as if he could sense me he opened his eyes and stared at me.
Taking the last puff he pressed the cigarette on the ash tray and let it slip off his finger. My body didn't move.
"Come here." He said suddenly meeting my eyes. His voice deep and rasped. Hearing him speak, it felt like I haven't heard him for long.
After a while my body made movement and my feet took steps towards him. Coming near I noticed the dark little stains in his shirt which I didn't notice before as I was in distant and it's kind if dark. Then I realized it was blood. My eyes widened with anxiety. I kneed beside him and my shaking hands touched his chest looking for injury. "W-Where are you hurt?" My voice broke as I stared unbottoning his shirt.
"This blood isn't mine." My hands stopped and my eyes trailed up finding him watching me intensely. My head proceeded his words and my mind remained blank for a while as I dropped my hand from him and stood up.
"Why did you kill." My voice a mere whisper.
"He lied." He simply replied. His voice cold and stiff. I didn't say a word. I remember everything. Him taking life and killing a soul in the harshest way possible as if life is a game and he is the best player.
I stepped back from him. It's dark here but not that much that he cannot see. So he can possibly see how much disgusted I'm, in my eyes.
"Leera" He called my name when I was turning around to leave. "I don't kill anyone who is innocent. He did a sin and he lied about it to me. He dug his own grave." He said casually removing his stained shirt and tossing it on the floor.
My eyes fell down and suddenly I didn't want to face him anymore. Who should I speak to? Azezal my husband who went missing for last 2 days Or a murderer who just killed someone.
He didn't say anything else when I didn't reply to him. He just walked past me and disappeared up the stairs.
When I was composed enough, I went to the room. Coming inside, I heard the shower running which meant he is taking a shower now. I slipped inside my side of the bed and pulled the blanket over my head, clenching my eyes shut.
I know everything happened between us were complications but this side of him? All my life, I dreamed about being a person who can be helpful to another. My head works on how to save a life and his works on how to take one. We are entirely opposite like ice and fire.
I hugged my blanket tighter when I heard the slight sound of bathroom door open and close. After a while I felt the other side of the bed dip down a bit as he settled on his side of the bed.
"I wanted to give you some space so I didn't come home. I did come home every night and watched you sleep and then left. My intention was the same this night too. But Pelima took leave and I knew you would be scared." I remained silent as if pretending I'm asleep.
"If you want to ask me anything you can. I'll give answer to your every question." He stated knowing I'm not sleeping.
I have many things to ask but I'll ask only one question tonight.
"Why didn't you tell me about everything before our marriage even after you knew the truth?" I enquired still facing the other side and clenching the blanket to my body.
"Our marriage was a rush. My father set up my marriage with his business partner's daughter Carla for his own interest. I wasn't about to marry her in anyway, I was just playing along but then she got pregnant with someone else so it was even easier. And there would have been many options and my father could just get another woman for me to marry but I was consistent about marrying you. The world knew it was my marriage and it couldn't delay. If I went to you, said everything and then asked you to marry me in two days, Would you have believed me or even married me? I had no other option, so I did what I thought was right that time."
"So you thought blackmailing me, forcing me into this marriage and making me suffer hell was right enough." A lone tear escaped my eye that he couldn't see as I'm not facing him. I'm at guilt for whatever I have unknowingly caused but the pain I'm feeling is more.
"I didn't have any other way that time. And even after the marriage I didn't know how should I tell you. I thought you wouldn't believe me and everything will ruin more."
"You already ruined everything." Suddenly I felt two arms wrapping around my waist, pulling me to him. "Don't say that. Nothing is ruined. We can fix everything" He kissed my hair and I heard him take a deep breath.
"I missed you, Amore." I closed my eyes as he hugged me tighter from behind but my heart hurts. How am I supposed to accept the fact I'm sleeping with a murderer who's hands were filled with blood just an hour before? How am I supposed to accept the fact this murderer is my husband and the person I loved before? How am I supposed to stay when I'm scared of my own husband?
"Will you keep a request?" I asked in my low voice.
"What?"
"Take me back to New York."
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Not edited.
Soo What do you think? Should she forgive him or not? :))
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