Y/N's POV:
"Sit still," you huff, trying to wipe the corner of Jimin's eye with a q-tip. "You've made me mess up twice now."
"Sorry," he chuckles, sitting back in his seat. "Are you coming tonight?"
"Maybe," you smile tightly, finally fixing up his look for the stage. BTS is performing at an awards show today and you just finished his makeup with only two minutes to spare since Jimin doesn't know how to stay in one place. As usual he looks hot as fuck, his dirty blonde hair slicked back, contrasting with his beautiful honey skin tone. He's dressed in a white button down tucked into black slacks, a simple outfit somehow making him look like a Greek god.
You've been a Hybe employee for about five years now, but you were only promoted up to one of BTS's makeup artists around six months ago — specifically Park's Jimin's makeup artist. You specialize in girl group makeup, but your style works well on Jimin's face since he's so good-looking, aesthetically rather effeminate.
His old makeup artist ended up falling in love with him and had to quit, and Jimin specifically requested you to be his new person, knowing there was no way you'd fall in love with him. And that's because you accidentally found out a huge secret about him that only the other members and a handful of staff members know.
He's gay.
You walked in on him kissing Jeonghan in his dressing room one day, thinking it was someone else's. Of course you kept it to yourself, not saying a word to anyone else. BTS is at the height of their career right now; Jimin's sexuality would damage their reputation greatly. You also want it to be his decision if he ever decides to come out.
He actually didn't find out until later that you saw him, and he apparently searched for you for a few weeks but had a hard time finding you since he didn't know your name. But he knew he could trust you since you kept quiet without any sort of incentive or bribe.
"You have to come," he frowns, cutely crossing his arms over his chest. "Kai will complain if you're not there."
"Kai is going to complain no matter what," you snort.
"Don't talk shit about me behind my back," a man says from behind, and you turn around to find the devil himself, your gorgeous best friend Nagasaki Kai.
"I'm not talking shit behind your back because I'd say it to your face," you roll your eyes, putting away your makeup brushes. The producer calls over all the members and you keep your eyes down on your supplies as they all walk past you, not wanting to bother them.
Well, one of them specifically.
"Are you really not coming tonight?" Kai asks, taking your hand in his. "You never come out with us anymore."
Your heart squeezes at how good he looks right now. Kai is half Korean, half Japanese with dyed platinum blonde hair and a beautiful smile. He's on the taller side and could honestly be an idol himself if he wanted, but his passion is modeling and fashion. He is always dressed up no matter the occasion, even if you're grabbing junk food at 2am. Right now he's decked out in all Louis Vuitton, a white sweater tucked into beige khakis and a charcoal plaid suit jacket.
When you got your promotion, you heard that one of BTS's stylists was going on maternity leave so you recommended Kai to your boss, not thinking they'd actually reach out to him. He showed up to work just a few weeks later.
"I'll think about it," you smile softly, squeezing his fingers. "I'm sorry for being such a debbie downer lately, I'm just really tired."
"Okay," he sighs, giving your cheek a quick peck. "I'm here if you ever need to talk, okay?"
"I know you are," you grin, feeling grateful to have such a wonderful friend in your life. Jimin's also quickly become someone really close to you over the last few months, but you don't want to tell anyone what's going on.
Even you don't know what's going on.
"We're going to watch, do you guys want to come?" Hana, Seokjin's makeup artist asks. She's somewhere in her mid thirties with a plain but cute face and short black hair that rests around her shoulders. You almost say yes until you see who's staring at you from behind her — more like glaring.
Aera, Yoongi's makeup artist. She's always hated you ever since you started and you didn't know why. Not until recently, that is.
She's just as good-looking as Kai; tall and slender with gorgeous teeth, but her short wavy hair is dyed a soft orange, almost like a natural redhead. Everyone else compliments her hair color but you personally think she looks like a carrot. Her eyes are almond shaped with fake eyelash extensions, which you will admit look pretty good on her. She has a small and cute nose with big beautiful lips, two little black birthmarks right under her left eyebrow that almost look like piercings.
"You guys go ahead," you say, letting go of Kai's hand. "I have to step out and call my sister." You see Aera smirk from the corner of your eye but you choose to ignore her. Just being near her makes your stomach turn, reminding you of things you're desperate to forget.
"I'll be near the back, come find me later," Kai grins, following behind Hana and Aera. He has no idea she hates you. Kai is a petty bitch and loyal to a fault. He would definitely start drama if it meant he could defend you, so you haven't told him anything.
You haven't told anyone anything.
Not about how you've been crying yourself to sleep every night for the past two months, or that you have to take a break almost every day to go throw up in the bathroom. You haven't mentioned that you haven't slept through the night in weeks, or that on your off days you can't even get out of bed.
You don't want anyone to know. You don't want to bother anyone. Kai knows something's wrong with you but he's trying not to pressure you. If you tell him, his career could be in jeopardy. So you're going to keep your mouth shut.
But in a week it won't matter anymore. You're going to put in your notice soon and forget these last six months ever happened.
Your memories from November until now weren't all bad. You actually have a lot of really good memories. But that almost makes it worse. Now you're not able to look back on them and smile anymore. Now all you can do is push them to the back of your mind, doing your best just to keep your head above the water.
Stepping outside you shiver a little from the chilly April air. Luckily it's not below freezing anymore, this past winter was miserably cold and you much prefer the hot sun. You pull out your phone and call your big sister, mostly just to pass time since you made up that excuse to get away from Aera.
"Hey, you," a familiar voice answers, immediately making your chest swell.
"Hey Unnie," you smile into the phone. "I was just calling to say hi. Haven't heard your voice in a while."
"I miss you, Nabi," she says, calling you by your old nickname. Nabi means butterfly in Korean, which is pretty ironic since you can't stand butterflies. You accidentally swallowed one when you were younger and that became your nickname as a joke, and it somehow stuck around as a term of endearment.
"I miss you too. How's Jeffrey? And Jenna?"
Jeffrey is your brother-in-law and Jenna is their four year old daughter. Your sister is Korean but Jeffrey is English, a beautiful blonde haired and blue eyed white man. Your sister rarely goes by her Korean name, Da-Som, because most people call her Sunny. She's actually adopted and your parents took her in when her mother got sick; she was twelve at the time and you were six. You were raised in Canada for most of your life but Sunny taught you Korean and all about her culture growing up. You became fascinated with it and even took extra classes through college to become fluent.
As soon as you graduated you moved to South Korea and Kai was the first person you made friends with. You'd originally planned to only stay a year or two and return home, but six months before you were supposed to head back, Hybe made you an offer. You've been here ever since.
You spend some time catching up with Sunny, getting the juicy details about Jenna's latest temper tantrum and Jeffrey's back pimple. But you're glad she's doing well. You two were attached at the hip almost your entire lives and she had a hard time when you moved, but then she met Jeffrey and her life changed for the better. He's actually a translator and that's how they met, so he's able to come visit with her sometimes.
"Thanks for calling, Nabi," Sunny says. "I really miss you. I hope you're doing well."
Tears well in your eyes as you look down at your feet, and she immediately knows something is wrong. You've never been able to hide anything from her. She's always been able to tell, and that's why it's been a few weeks since you last called her.
"Talk to me," she says sternly. "Are you not okay?"
"I'm okay," you say shakily, wiping the tear that just fell down your cheek. "Or I will be. I think I'm coming home soon."
"What? Why? I mean, you know I'd love to have you close by. But I thought you were happy. Weren't you dating someone?"
Being reminded of him sends a knife straight through your heart. You'd told Sunny you started seeing someone and haven't been able to tell her what happened yet.
"It didn't work out," you choke out as you blink up towards the sky, trying to contain yourself. "But it's for the best. Maybe this was just my calling that I need to move back."
There's a few moments of silence over the phone and that's all it takes for you to start breaking down softly. Your back leans against the wall and you slide down to the ground, clutching your knees to your chest.
"Unnie," you sob. "I want to come home."
"Then come home," she says, making your throat tighten even more. "Everything will be okay. I don't know what happened but I'm always here waiting for you. You're not alone."
"I know," you whimper, trying to dry your tears. Kai's going to come looking for you soon and he can't find you like this. "Thanks Unnie. I just needed you to remind me."
"Of course, Nabi. Call me anytime, I love hearing your voice. And if I find out who made you cry I'm kicking them straight in the crotch."
"Deal," you snort, feeling ten times better already.
Everything will be fine, you say to yourself, taking a big deep breath before slowly exhaling. I just need to get through the next week and I'm free.
You say your goodbyes and hang up the phone, standing to your feet and dusting off your black leggings.
"You're leaving?" you hear a familiar voice from your left, freezing you in place. That deep chuckle that used to make your heart flutter now makes your stomach turn over. "You really are pathetic."
Your watery eyes look over to find the last person you want to see right now. The last person you ever want to be alone with again.
Min Yoongi.
Of course he looks incredible in his all black suit, his long black hair styled back perfectly, a few waves lazily falling over his eyebrows. Just the sight of him almost makes your knees buckle, and you hate yourself for still being so attracted to him.
"I'm the pathetic one?" you hiss, balling your hands into fists. "That's rich coming from you."
"You're running away because you can't live with how embarrassing you are," he laughs, arrogantly cocking his head to the side as his hands stay in his pockets.
"Embarrassing?" you scoff, trying to fight back your nausea. "Well, I guess that's true. This situation is a bit embarrassing. But don't worry, I plan to put in my notice next week."
"It won't be much fun without you here," he pouts, making your brows furrow down in confusion. "I love seeing how uncomfortable you get around me. It's fun to watch you cry when you think I don't notice."
"Yoongi just leave me alone," you bark, tears brimming in your eyes again. "I will never figure out why you hate me so much. I've learned to just accept it after all this time. So I'll just disappear like you want me to. You'll never have to see me again."
There's an unreadable expression on his face as he stares at you, making you shift uncomfortably on your feet.
"Good, stay gone," another voice says.
Your breath hitches when Aera steps out next to him, wrapping her slender arms around his waist.
"Hey baby," he chuckles, kissing her right in front of you. She practically melts into him, the two of them sucking each other's faces off like plungers.
Don't you dare crumble, [Y/N], you scold yourself. Hold it together until you get out of here.
You're sick to your stomach and it's getting hard to breathe, but you can't let him know that. You try to storm past them but Aera grabs your wrist, jerking you backwards.
"Are you really leaving?" she asks with a smirk on her face.
"Don't fucking touch me," you grit through your teeth, yanking your hand away. "I'll get whatever disease you're carrying."
As if you'd just shot her, her eyes fill with rage and she grabs your charcoal sweater. "What did you just say bitch?"
"Get off of me," you growl, trying to push her away.
"Aera, let go," Yoongi sighs like you're a pain in the ass. "She's not worth it. If she sues you I'll be the one stuck paying to shut her up."
"Yeah," you smile tightly. "Now get your scaly lizard claws off of me."
You shove her back as hard as you can, slamming her into Yoongi, nearly causing the two of them to stumble backwards. As fast as your body will allow, you sprint inside, trying to grab your bag and get out. Luckily the only one in the dressing room is Hana but she immediately notices the drying tear stains on your face.
"[Y/N]? What's wrong?"
"I-I'm not feeling too well," you say shakily, trying to shove the rest of your supplies into your bag.
You need to get out of here. You need to be literally anywhere but here.
She shuffles over to you, trying to help pack up and says, "Okay, I'll let Mr. Song know. Do you need anything?"
"Can you just double check my work station and make sure I didn't forget anything?" you ask, already halfway out the door. "I'll just get it from you next week."
"Yeah of course," she says, her eyes filled with worry and concern. "Call me if you need anything."
"I will, thank you."
You're basically sprinting, barely holding it together and you're only two steps from the front doors when you feel someone's hand wrap around your wrist, jerking you to a stop.
"[Y/N]?"
No, god dammit, you plead, the tears already falling down your face as your throat closes so tightly you can't breathe. You claw at your chest, squatting down on the ground as you heave for air.
"Oh my god," Kai says, kneeling down to cradle you to his chest. "What the hell? What happened?" You cling to his jacket, heavy sobs ripping from your throat as the pain spreads from your chest to your back, making your head throb from the lack of oxygen.
"Breathe, Nabi," he says shakily, smoothing his hand over your hair. That familiar nickname grounds you just the tiniest bit, allowing your lungs to make a sharp inhale. Rarely ever does anyone call you that other than Kai or Sunny. "You're okay. It's okay. You're doing great sweetie, just breathe for me."
You cry into his chest for a few minutes until you realize you've drawn a small crowd. Kai helps you stand to your feet before putting his sunglasses over your face and walking you out the door. He ushers you into one of the vans outside and he pulls you into his lap, letting you finish crying it out.
He doesn't ask any questions, he just reminds you that everything's okay between a few kisses against your cheek. By the time you've calmed down his $800 jacket is now absolutely soaked from your tears and snot.
"Sorry," you mumble, resting your head against his chest.
"Don't apologize," he huffs. "Whoever made you cry like that will be the one responsible for compensating me."
"Yeah, good luck with that," you snort, feeling a little better already. He's quiet for a few moments, running his hand over your hair as you listen to the sound of his heartbeat.
"Was it Yoongi?"
Your breath hitches and you're frozen in place from his question. You'd never told Kai a thing, not even that you and Yoongi had slept together, let alone that he hates you now.
But you shouldn't be surprised. Kai has always been able to read you like a book.
Your hands press to his chest as you push yourself off of him, looking into his eyes.
"When did you find out?" you ask quietly.
"I never really found anything out," he frowns, tucking a piece of your hair behind your ear. "But I saw the way you used to look at him." More tears brim in your eyes as you grip his sweater over his chest. "And I also noticed when you stopped looking at him entirely."
"I'm sorry," you choke out, a few more tears spilling over your lashes. "I just didn't want to get you involved in my drama. You work with him."
"[Y/N], I'm filthy rich," he snorts arrogantly. "I do not need this job. Do I enjoy it? Yes. But you're my priority."
"But what about Jimin?"
"What about Jimin?"
"Well, he's your boyfriend," you frown, looking down at his chest. "You can't lose this job. It's the only reason you get to see him so often."
"You don't have to worry about that," he chuckles. "That's between me and him. My best friend isn't allowed to suffer for me, that doesn't make me happy at all."
"B-but-"
"No buts," he says angrily, making your shoulders tense as his eyes bore into yours. "Now spill. What did that bastard do to you?"
*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*•*
__________________
A/N: Chappy 1 ~
Oh me oh my
Yoongi baby wyd
How do we feel about chapter one??
Nagasaki Kai didn't get enough screen time in Catch Me so he's back
Since I am wonderful and benevolent you're getting a double update
Stay fresh, cheese bags