Girl, I've always loved you, but something's changed. Blame it on time, the road, or the ride, but it ain't the same. It's a different kind of feeling, not the one I knew. From the sweet on your lips to how your hand in mine fits. Girl, I've always loved you, but I don't love you like I used to. This gets better every time you kiss me like this, it's stronger the longer I'm with you, yeah. More than every single day before, didn't know I could ever love vou more than I did. But baby, I do. I don't love you like I used to.
Love You Like I Used To x Russell Dickerson
Beckham
Jake grabs us each a drink and immediately sheds his shirt while dropping into a lounge chair, and I'm 99% sure I have drool leaking out of the corner of my mouth. I pull my flimsy coverup over my head, toss it into onto the deck next to Jake's shirt, then I park myself between his knees and lean back against his chest.
"Are you a beaver with kids? Because DAM DADDY!" I exclaim, anticipating his response. He doesn't disappoint and doubles over in laughter, his arms wrapping around my waist as he buries his face in my shoulder.
"You really are something else! That was a good one, Angel," he compliments me with a kiss on my temple.
"Thank you, thank you! I'll be here all night, tips are always welcome," I tease
With his head tucked into my neck, he mumbles "Oh sweetheart, do I have a tip for you!" I cackle at his obvious innuendo as a shadow falls over us.
"I'm afraid to ask what you're laughing about, so I'm not gonna. Where is y'all's room?" Nat asks.
"Next to the woman of the weekend, apparently," I reply with an eye roll.
"Ohhhh I bet she just wants you to hear how vocal she is in bed when she's drunk!" Nat whisper shouts.
"That's what I said too! Awful bitch," I mutter the last part under my breath. "Speaking of, who the actual fuck can afford this boujee ass shit?? There's something off about them." I say, mostly to myself.
"Babes, you're letting your distaste for her hitting on your man cloud your judgement. Let's focus on the mission, ok?" Nat soothes. For her to say something definitely means I'm overreacting, so I'll lay off it.
Our eyes land on Kate and Jensen, so we rise from our chair and join them with Nat and Bradley right behind us. Soon, everyone that is coming has boarded and we set sail, so to speak. Within a few hours, we've snacked on overpriced hors d'oeuvres and have downed a minimum of 4 fruity cocktails each. Kate and Jensen have loosened up quite a bit and are being super affectionate with each other. I find it adorable, then quickly remind myself we're dealing with two menaces to international society. Karrrrrrrrrie drops by a few times, making sure to rub her hands over Jake, Jensen, and Bradley as much as possible. God, I hate that woman. After she walks away to mingle with other overpaid assholes, Kate giggles and spills a lesser known fact about the Jones couple.
"You know they're totally swingers, right? Like, when we first moved in a few years ago, they invited us over to dinner to 'get to know us better' and then boom! Between dinner and dessert, Karrie breaks out an NDA!" Kate exclaims. Jensen chuckles and warns her to keep the volume down before encouraging his wife to continue with her story. "Jens and I looked at each other, completely confused as to what's going on, and she says 'Our group is both close knit and confidential, so signatures are required before I explain any further' like we have any idea about what's going on! We refused to sign anything without more information, and they refused to provide it without a signature. That's when I noticed the setting that included red wine, oysters, dim lighting, and mood music. I called Jens' phone from my watch and he pretended it was a work emergency! I swear I've never moved so quick in my life. It was never confirmed, but I absolutely believe that was an NDA for a swinger club," Kate finishes in hysterics and we all join in on the laughter. Jake pipes in with a "note to self, never accept a dinner invite where we're the only guests!" and shudders. Next thing we know, birthday cake is served, happy birthday is sung, and the six of us have found a relatively hidden corner to camp out in until bedtime. The guys talk shop, discussing everything from who they think will take the World Series, to sports cars, to Glock vs Sig Sauer. While the boys animatedly argue over which of the latter is best, the girls talk about all the things, covertly including our sex lives.
The last topic lands us on the current subject of trying to get pregnant. Apparently, there are different positions that are rumored to help with conception, who knew?! Kate, apparently. She eventually opens up about their trouble getting pregnant and reveals they're currently in the midst of fertility testing to find out what's been causing their problems. They've each done multitudes of labs and nothing has been discovered so far. Nat takes this opportunity to slip in some questions about how it could cause some financial problems. "Isn't that super expensive? I've had friends go through IVF and it cost them a small fortune!" A soft look crosses Kate's face. "It definitely can get expensive. We've been so blessed with fantastic insurance from our company and it's been almost completely covered up to this point. The dollar signs attached to future treatments if needed makes me sick, but both mine and Jensen's families have offered to help contribute if we come to that point." She replies, love dripping from her words. The boys rejoin the conversation and it turns from the more somber subject to lighter ones full of laughter.
We finally drop off the passengers that aren't staying the night and tuck into our cabins for the night. Thankfully, Krazy Karrie was shitfaced and Todd had to tote her to bed. Surely she'll be tanked and go straight to sleep tonight. I wash my face, cleansing it from the sea salt and makeup that coated it, then climb into bed with Jake. We talk about our earlier conversations and both agree that Kate and Jensen have a real love for each other despite their current illegal dealings. Since I was laying on my stomach, my (Jake's) shirt had ridden up my back, and the tattoo down my spine peeked out. Jake pushes the shirt up further, revealing the entirety of the words, and traces the letters that are permanently etched into my skin and my soul.
"I've always loved this, you know that? Number one, it's sexy as hell. Number two, knowing the meaning of it makes it beautiful. Your strength has always impressed me. Hell, it intimidated me at first which is why I needled you so much. That and I never outgrew the elementary school ideal of picking on the girl you're crushing on," he says with a boyish grin.
"Your opinion of me is far too high, I'm worried I'm gonna disappoint one day when I break down and shatter," I reply with a sad smile, my eyes fluttering closed as he continues to rub his fingertips up and down my back.
"Angel, you could never disappoint me. We're all human and have our limits, vulnerability is what gives us strength. I promise, I'll hold you while you put yourself back together when you do shatter. You don't need anyone to do it for you, you're far too incredible for that, and I'm just glad I get to be the one next to you for it all. You amaze me every day, tiny." He takes a deep breath, wraps his arms around me, and pulls my chest to his before locking his eyes on mine.
"I love you, Beckham Emory Teague. I'm pretty sure I have since I found you in the locker room that day, but I was too dumb to see it. I think you're it for me."
My breath catches in my chest and my eyes well with tears. I haven't felt this cared for since I lost my parents and raw emotion floods my heart.
"I love you, Jacob Tyler Seresin. Your cocky attitude, your fierce protectiveness of me, and your giant heart that you hide from everyone but me. I think you might be it for me, too."
We seal our declarations with a deep, tender, soul searing kiss as my tears drip onto his chest. I snuggle closer, breathing in the comfort that I can only find with him, and bask in the moment as he plays with my hair until I fall asleep.
I'm half tempted to slide something heavy in front of our door just to make sure Karrie doesn't break in and ruin it for us. I listen close and hear someone vomiting on the other side of the wall. I would have never expected the sound of someone puking to make me as happy as it just did, but here I am.
"Goodnight, cowboy. I love you," I whisper.
"I love you too, goodnight my angel," Jake replies. I'm once again lulled to sleep by the sound of his heartbeat, happily drifting off with a smile on my face.
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Hi my loves! We're getting close to the finale of book 1! I'm super excited for what I have planned and will probably be tying it up with a very tangled bow in the next few chapters 😉. Leave me any predictions you might have!
As always, thanks for reading and loving this as much as I do!
Xoxo 💋