(Make sure to read The North before you read this!)
My chapter lengths have gotten really long which means it's takes me twice/three times as long to edit, reread, proofread, and get ready to post. So this time round, I'm going to try posting shorter chapters like I used to, to see if that helps me keep up.
Welcome back to the north, keep an eye on the shadows...
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Chapter 1
I've often wondered what changes someone more; loss or gain.
I'd certainly been changed more by what I lost. My Alpha's death, after he defended our pack from the dark creatures roaming the land, had stolen the last of my youthful naivety about good triumphing over evil. The death of my older brother to the same creatures had crushed but a small ember of remaining hope.
Both those acts of sacrifice had gained new meaning when I found out the truth. They'd been protecting me from myself, as much as from the Blood Drinkers; creatures I'd thought to be a new creation only to find out they were older than living memory.
Mortal memory at least.
Stolen souls from Nàströnd forced into human bodies who then spread their poison to the very humans they killed. They rose again with an insatiable bloodthirst. . .
And my blood called to them stronger than any other. My blood was the reason I'd lost my packmates, my blood family; my homeland, my faith in. . .well, anything. Everything. Not even the stories of an Alpha of Alphas in the far North felt dependable. An Alpha said to have gathered packs of skinshifters under one rule to defend against the plague sweeping the land. For these days, even bands of mortals with their glinting swords, sharp arrows, and steel clothing were causing as much damage as any monster creeping in the night.
I wasn't as carefree as I once was; happy to follow the breeze and wander through lush green glens, or climb tall mountains blanketed in rich purple heather. I went from being a pup with no found direction in life, to leading my pack as an Alpha in my own right. That was a gain, was it not? That had changed me too. Hardened me. Strengthened me. But it had cut me off from trusting strangers, of trusting the wolves who'd taken my pack in when another night in the wilds of coming winter would have surely cost us another life; my own father's most likely.
Power could corrupt as easily as grief. I'd seen that too. I'd seen my new Alpha struggle between his need to be obeyed and seen as the almighty ruler of the biggest pack the world had ever known, and the need of the pack to have a side to him they could come to love as much as they feared or respected him. His own brother had been corrupted to the point he was blinded by his need for power, vengeance, his own twisted sense of justice.
I had power too. Power I didn't understand. Would it corrupt me as it would many others?
In the north, I thought we'd finally found sanctuary, and maybe we had. But our sanctuary was being threatened.
Our world was ever shifting at the moment, or so it seemed to me. Everything was on the table to be tossed aside or snatched up by whoever came out on top. Gerlac, my mentor, once said "Lives during times of war is like money during times of peace; whoever takes the most is deemed in power."
And someone had taken their chance at grabbing power tonight. Why? To strike fear? To show their strength? To seed doubt amongst the pack?
The taking of this life would change everything; I knew that as I watched Brokkr, with all his size and brawn, gently pull away his weeping mate from the body of their fallen male. She could barely stand as sobs tore from her lips, one hand fisted against her chest where I could only imagine she felt the ache of her loss. I'd never carried a pup in my womb, birthed them, raised them, and had them torn from me; how could I even begin to comprehend?
There was such a raw desperation to her pleading for her son's life, directed at Gods who wouldn't listen. I watched a female break right before my eyes and swore I could feel how her gut clawed at itself as if trying to patch up a hole that had been torn. Or a piece of her heart that had been yanked out.
Rage warred with tears, and the parchment still clenched between my fingers with the harrowing truce announcement, brought none of the relief of an agreed peace between two enemies.
The last until spring, Skoll had promised. He might have been content with only sending parchment if I had done things differently while his prisoner.
Or you and Hati might both be dead.
Or alive but still captive, I wanted to tell the voice, which was better than dead. Was it not?
The more I stared at the unseeing milky eyes staring up into a slowly brightening sky, the more panic and guilt began to weigh on me. Suddenly I couldn't cope with every breath tasting and smelling like old blood that barely hid the beginning of foul rot from a decaying body. Should it have smelled so bad if it had only been here a matter of hours?
"We will find who did this, Brokkr, Cerri," Hati rumbled, barely able to conceal the rage that deepened his voice into a near guttural growl. "And when we do, first rights will belong to you both. I will not rest until justice is yours, and you may take it from them in any way you see fit. We will show everyone what we do to enemies of the pack. All will come to understand why I am Alpha, and what happens when one of mine is harmed."
I didn't know what first right were, but the offer made Brokkr straighten up and hold his head higher, even while his lip trembled, and eyes shimmered beneath thick brows drawn down. His arm tightened around his mate's waist as he bowed his head.
"Thank you, Alpha." It was hollow gratitude however, his voice empty as he looked down at his son. "You need time with him?"
Hati glanced at his Beta, and Caldar nodded. "We will let you know when you can take him. I promise we will work quickly."
"I want him now. We can't leave him out in the cold, and I need to clean him, I have to. . .I." Cerri's whispered words cut off on a choke, and as she swayed on her feet, I worried she might collapse. Then her eyes fell to me and she wrenched free of her mate entirely.
I startled back a few steps as she bolted towards me, and even Hati seemed worried about her intent as his arm lifted to act as a barrier. But attack wasn't her intention. Falling to her knees on the sodden ground, her hands reached pleadingly out towards me.
"I've heard the stories about you. You can see him. You can tell him he needs to come back, that it's not his time."
"Cerri," Brokkr called gently, stepping towards her only to flinch back at her seething growl.
She shook her head furiously, grief dazed eyes asking too much with just a glance. I shook my head helplessly. "I can't see him. I don't hear him. I'm sorry."
"Don't Eabha," Hati murmured, sliding his hand to my wrist to tug me further behind him.
I frowned at him, but soon saw why it would have been better to say nothing at all to the mourning she-wolf. My words tipped her over the edge. Fisted hands battered the ground in her rage, and grief turned to anger in dark eyes that flashed a brilliant gold. Brokkr had his arms wrapped tight around her before she could shift, and I swore he cast me a dark look before he nipped at his mate's neck in an attempt to keep her calm.
"I think it best you return inside," Caldar advised without so much as looking at me.
A lump formed in my throat at the thought that he might blame me for this as much as I did myself before he tacked on, "Your presence might cause further distress, which is no fault of your own, but it's true nonetheless." He ignored a warning growl from Hati, finally lifting coal dark eyes to meet mine. "For yourself as much as anyone else. You still need to rest, and if sleep eludes you, then you should go and eat."
Hati's fingers brushed the back of my hand. "He's right. Go back to bed, Little Alpha. It will be a while before I can join you, but I will."
He'd promised something similar before.
Suddenly I had a sense of panic about letting him leave my sight. Our spy had proven reporting the goings on in the pack wasn't all they were capable of. They'd done well hiding their scent and tracks too; even going so far as to use a weapon rather than fang and claw, something that bothered me somewhat. A blade had taken Bruadar's life; a swift slice across his throat that would have made sure there was nothing to be heard.
That was no way for a skinshifter to go. If the perpetrator was a skinshifter too, then they were a coward, but that didn't mean they weren't capable of hurting someone else. Like Hati. What if they were the one who'd lured him away in the first place?
"Nothing else will happen, not here in the heart of the pack with everyone awake." Catching my chin, Hati cut off my inner panicked monologue. He tipped my face towards him and bowed to press his forehead to mine. My eyes fluttered shut as I breathed in his scent, some of the tension melting from my body. "Wait for me in our bed."
"Our bed?" I murmured.
I opened my eyes to see a half-smile tugging at his lip, but it didn't reach his eyes in the way it would have should our day not have been tainted by yet more death.
Stretching on tiptoe, I pressed a quick feather kiss to his lips. "Do not leave me this time."
"Never."
That would have to be promise enough.
I turned to leave, but couldn't help cast on more glance over the nightmarish scene. That alone was enough to make my stomach churn again, and I needed no further cajoling to get me to leave. I turned and fled like hounds were on my heels, feeling the wall I'd built up to keep me calm come crumbling down once I was out of sight. I could cry as I needed to in Hati's den. Rage and scream. Pace and study the blame lying at my feet.
I barely took note of anyone I passed in the hallways but I was aware of the whispers. Caldar may have managed to keep things quiet, but the pack knew something had happened. And I feared anyone who saw me would indeed take note of my tight-lipped frown and far away gaze, and use it to fan the flames of rumour. Not that it would matter. Hati would probably announce what happened later today; but how much would he say?
Would he have to tell the pack the truth of everything? His heritage, the war we were on the brink of with beings from campfire tales and private prayers. What about what I was, the trouble I would bring, the trouble I'd ready brought. . .
What I was capable of was better understood than I believed if Cerri had thought to request what she did from me. How many others had figured out I really could, on occasion, see the dead?
Stumbling over my own tired feet, I caught myself on the wall and barely felt the scratch of uneven stone against my palm. My stomach twisted and my hand flew to cover my mouth as bile burned my throat as much as the image of Bruadar lying dead seared my mind.
I should have been able to offer Cerri comfort.
Why did I hear and see nothing of the dead at a time when it might have been helpful?
I fisted my hand and smashed it against the wall, gripping onto the pain like a lifeline when doubt was so heavy on my shoulders, my knees buckled beneath me. If it weren't for the fact I didn't want anyone to see me crumble, I might have slid to the ground and sobbed until I could no longer.
As it was, someone did see me.
Astrid and Farrin came round the corner, startled when they spotted me clinging to the wall while fast breaths rasped past my lips. They were at my side within seconds.
"We heard what happened," Astrid murmured, reaching out her hand to cup my cheek and wipe escaped tears away with her thumb. "Oh, Eabha. I'm sorry. It's not your fault. Come, do you want us to take you to Hati's rooms?"
Did I want company? I didn't know. And the flurry of my had going from shaking to nodding, to shaking no again didn't make my friend relax any.
Farrin stepped past his mate, concern creasing around moss green eyes as he took in the state of me. Before I realised what he was doing, his arm came behind my legs and my world tilted as he scooped me up. I wanted to protest but Astrid stopped me with a bell-like laugh.
"He let you out of his sights last night, let him make it up to you. Besides." Her smile turned to a frown. "You don't look steady on your feet. I was going to get food, I shall get some for you too and bring it back. We can eat with you. You won't be alone. If you want us to stay while you sleep, we can do that too. But you will be sleeping, you've no choice in that."
The care and warmth I found in her expression, and in the steady arms offering comforting contact that settled my fur, made my chest swell. I was worried Farrin hadn't forgiven me for leaving him behind, and while I didn't feel he had anything to make up for, my lids were already drooping.
Maybe I could close my eyes until we arrived . . .
"Thank you. Both of you."
It was Farrin who rumbled a quiet reply. "You're welcome. If you drool on me, I will drop you."
I managed a sleepy chuckle. By the time he'd taken a few swaying steps, I lost my fight to stay awake.