Listen To: "Break My Heart" by Matt Hansen
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[Please, assume all conversations are in Korean]
"Ella," Seokjin says as he walks toward me.
"Tell me what, Namjoon-ah?" I retreat myself. I feel a shiver run down my spine.
"El," Seokjin says again as he places his hands on either side of my arms and stands in front of me, blocking my view of Namjoon.
"Seokjin, I want to know what's going on," I tell him.
"I know, but I need you to just take a deep breath and promise me that you'll listen," Seokjin tells me. "I'll step out so you two can talk and when you're ready, we will be in the living room and we can all talk about this together," he tells me. He squeezes my shoulders and then walks out of the door, leaving me in the room with Namjoon. After a few moments of silence, he finally speaks.
"Eleanor," he says quietly, looking down at his hands. I feel my chest tighten at the sound of his voice.
"Joonie," I let out as I feel the lump raise in my throat. "Please, tell me. Tell me everything is okay; that we are fine. Please just tell me," I say. He walks to me and cups my face in his hands.
"Don't cry, please don't cry," he begs me.
"Just tell me what's going on," I tell him. "Please Joon, I love you," I whisper as he lets his forehead fall onto mine.
"Okay. Okay," he says. He takes a deep breath and then brings his eyes up to look at me.
"Eleanor. I slept with Nabi," he lets out shakily and I feel like I can't breathe. My whole world stops around me. The walls close in on me and I feel my heart pounding in my ears, drowning out any and all other sounds. I feel my whole body tremble and cold courses through my veins. My vision is blurry and I feel the bile crawling up to my throat and tears streaming down my face.
I try and breathe, try and not overreact. Try to let him speak but those words alone are torture.
"Ella, please I need you to listen to me," he said as his hands cup my face, trying to bring me back to reality, out of the panic that i'm in. "El— please," he begs. I cover my mouth with my hands and run to the hallway, praying I make it to the bathroom in time. I run down the hall, my socks slipping on the hardwood. I reach the bathroom and throw myself over the toilet just in time.
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Time escapes me and I have no idea how long i'm sitting here, my cheek pressed against the cold bathroom floor. I've been trying to think of what I want to ask him, what I want to know. If I want to know. I open my eyes and my eyes meet Taehyung's; his head also on the floor in front of mine. I feel him bring his fingers up to push my hair out of my eyes.
"Are you okay? Do you need some water?" He asks me softly as he continues to stroke my hair.
"No," I croak out.
"Namjoon-hyung wants to come in to finish talking to you. Are you okay with that?" He asks me. I sit up and I close my eyes and feel like I'm about to fall over, my head feeling dizzy and pounding. Taehyung pops up and sits behind me so that I'm in between his legs. He pulls me back to lay my back against his chest and he wraps his arms around me firmly.
"Angel," he lets out softly. "Just relax," he whispers as he slowly rocks us back and forth, while we sit on the floor. I close my eyes and hear his voice flood my ears.
"Darling, I would break my heart,
If it was gonna make yours whole.
I would rip myself apart,
If it was gonna heal your soul.
Woke up and I panicked for a moment,
Forgot that you told me that you had to go,
And I'm scared but I don't wanna show it.
Feels like it's been weeks but it's only been days and
I'm slowly losing all my self-control.
There's only one thing I can say, it's
"I could spend forever always loving you
But if I let you go, would you be happier?"
I feel tears stream down my face at what he's singing, letting myself relax into his touch, the motion of his body against mine; letting my guard down. Taehyung always knows how to soothe me.
"Ella," he says into my ear. "Talk to him. Let him explain, okay?" He tells me and I feel my heart clench in my chest.
"You know," I say out loud.
"Yes, we all knew," he says. "But, it isn't like it sounds. You need to talk to him," he reiterates.
"Okay," I say. He squeezes me softly and then gets up and stands in front of me. He reaches his hands up to help me stand and I get up slowly. I face him and he leans down and kisses my forehead.
"Everything is going to be fine," he tells me. "I promise you," he finishes. As if on queue, the door knocks and I see Namjoon poke his head in the door.
"Can we talk?" He asks me. I nod at him. Taehyung kisses my cheek and makes his way out the door. He pats Namjoon on the shoulder as he walks out, closing the door behind him.
Namjoon looks up at me; his eyes are red and hurt. It breaks me apart to see him like this but that doesn't mean that i'm not also broken.
"Eleanor," he lets out softly as he walks to me. He stops in front of me and reaches out for my hands. He takes them in his and brings them up to his mouth and kisses them softly.
"Please," he mumbles against my skin. "Please," he begs. I feel my pulse slamming in my ears. I don't want to know. I want to forget this ever happened but I need to know. I pull my hands out of his and bring them up to his face and pull him up to look at me.
"When?" I ask him. He looks at me and lets out a sigh. I close my eyes and prepare for the answer that I'm not quite sure I'm ready to hear.
I don't know what my plan is. What if he slept with her while we were together? What am I going to do? Obviously, infidelity is a deal breaker for me. From the very beginning, that night in the hot tub while they were filming In The Soop, when we all decided to take our relationship to the next level, I told them. I made it very clear that I was not willing to share them with anyone else (as much as that made me feel like a hypocrite, because I obviously have all seven of them) and they agreed; it was just me for them. So, as much as I love him, I don't think I can be okay with knowing he went back on his word.
But what if it happened right before we made things official; like when I was dating just Yoongi and Jungkook? What happens then? He technically wasn't 'cheating' on me, and even though we knew we felt something for each other earlier on, that doesn't mean that he had any obligation to monogamy with me. So as much as it would hurt, I'd need to understand. He had a life before me and I know that he's slept with other people before me, so it's not like I can hold that against him. I just hate that it was her.
"After you got here," he says and my heart feels like it's literally breaking inside of my chest. "I didn't know. I couldn't know that something would come from us. I—Baby, I'm so, so, sorry," he tells me and then he falls on to his knees and wraps his arms around my hips, his head leaning on me. As soon as he says the words, it's like I've been slapped in the face.
What the fuck am I doing? This isn't his fault. He didn't do anything wrong. As much as this hurts me, there's no way he could have known; he couldn't have known that he and I would be here. I can't help that I feel anger and jealousy at the thought of him sharing such an intimate moment with her, there was no way that I could ever hold it against him. I let my fingers tangle in his hair as his arms are wrapped around me so tightly that it's hard to breathe. He doesn't deserve to feel this way; to feel guilt for something he did when we weren't even together. It may hurt me that it was her, but he doesn't deserve to torture himself for it.
God. I feel like i'm on a fucking rollercoaster ride.
"Namjoon," I let out, unable to see him continuing to beat himself up. "Joon-ah, look at me," I tell him. He pulls his head up and I look down at him; his eyes are rimmed with tears, red, and his skin blotchy.
"I don't care," I tell him and I see his face shift; probably not the response he was expecting. It's not easy for those words to come out of my mouth but I know they're the correct ones to say. I don't want him to feel guilt.
"El—" he says.
"Listen to me," I start. "What you did, who you were with before me, that's none of my business. I can't hold any of those things against you. You could never have imagined that you and I would find each other and we'd be where we are today," I continue. "So, it doesn't matter," I finish. I reach down and pull him up to stand and face me.
"But El—" he says. "I just— I feel awful. I know that it was before us but it kills me. I feel like I betrayed you, us. I wanted to tell you when she first started acting up. I knew that she was flirting with Jungkook and Yoongi because she was trying to get to you, so I knew I should have told you since then. She wanted more from me and I told her no. She asked if there was someone else and I said yes," he says. "I guess it wasn't difficult to find out that the someone else was you. The day we found her with Jungkook, in the forest, I was going to tell you but that night was our first time together and I didn't want to ruin it. Then, when we fired her, she was angry, particularly with me. She told me that our relationship would never work and that I'd be begging her to take her back soon," he confesses. "I should have told you then, but I was embarrassed. I was afraid of hurting you," he finishes.
"I mean, I'm not going to lie and say it doesn't hurt. It does but it's not your fault. You didn't do anything wrong. I just feel possessive over you and especially with her. The thought of her touching you, of being intimate with you," I feel my eyes drop. Did he treat her the same way he treats me? Did he touch her the way he touches me? Did he talk to her the way he talks to me? Call her the names he calls me? Did she make him feel the same way I do? A massive wave of insecurity hits me at the thought that maybe she was better than me.
"No," he says to me and he wraps his massive hands around my neck, using his thumbs to push my chin up so that my eyes land back on his. He kisses my cheeks, my forehead, my jaw, my lips. He's desperate and heedless as he places his mouth all over my face; using his mouth as promises to seemingly ease my apprehensive heart.
"No," he repeats and I'm certain he read my mind, knowing the inadequacy I'm feeling at the thought of his connection with her, emotionally, physically, mentally, being better than ours. "She meant nothing. It was meaningless. Sex with her was irrelevant and I know it makes me sound like an asshole, but it was just a way for me to get off easily. She was there, I was lonely. That's all. But you? Oh Sweet Thing, you are so much more than I could ever articulate. I love you Eleanor. More than I ever thought possible. More than any words I could ever phonate. The first time I had sex with you, it was as if I'd found something; discovering something I never even knew I needed before. You complete me in every way. Everything before you was inconsequential, insignificant. Before there was you, there was no me," he says to me. His poetic words shattering every wall of insecurity and fear I was holding. He presses his forehead against mine and let's out a deep exhale as his thumbs graze my cheeks. I debate asking the questions I want answers to but I know that if I don't ask them now, I'll let them fester and will only hold resentment.
"How many times?" I ask.
"3," he starts. "The first time was the day you arrived; a few hours before meeting you. The second was the day after we met you and final time was 7 days after you arrived. The first time, I was just bored but after that, I did it because I was hoping to prove to myself that I didn't want you; that what I was feeling was just infatuation, lust toward the new woman I'd just met. Then by the last time, you were already starting things with Jungkook and I knew Yoongi was feeling something so I was trying to convince myself that I didn't have a shot. But I felt something; I wasn't sure what it was but it scared me and I wanted to sleep with someone, anyone, to see if it would help make me stop thinking about you in that way. She was there and it happened but I couldn't even finish with her because I just kept thinking about you," he says.
Fuck. It finally hits me that he says AFTER. After I arrived. I feel my heart breaking in my chest. I had no right to him then. He wasn't mine so I shouldn't feel this. I shouldn't be this hurt and this jealous.
"Joon-ah," I whisper. I believe him. I trust him. I know he's telling me the truth. "You—" I start. I have to ask and be 100% sure. "You don't want to be with her, right? You don't want to take her back like she said you would want to?" I ask with a shaky voice, Ae-Cha's words ringing heavy in my mind.
"No, Ella. Not even close. I want her out of my life completely," he says to me as he leans in a kisses my lips softly, his forehead resting on mine. "You're the only person I want now and ever," he finishes. I close my eyes and let his words sink in. I know he loves me. I know he wants me. But all I can think about is his hands on her body, her lips on his skin, him fucking her. I force the thoughts out of my head. I can't do it; I can't keep thinking that way or it will ruin us.
"Okay," I say softly.
"Okay?" He repeats. "You know you can ask me anything about it, right? I'll answer any question you have. I want you to be fully understanding that she meant and continues to mean absolutely nothing to me," he reiterates. I'm not naive to know they all had relationships before me; some more than others. I know Taehyung and Jungkook aren't as experienced as Jimin, Hoseok and Yoongi; each of them having slept with people 6-12 months before I came to Seoul. I know that Seokjin slept with someone 3 months before I moved here, but it's the fact that it's Namjoon and it's Nabi. God, why did it have to be the bitch I hate more than anyone else on the planet?
"I can tell you're holding something in," he says. "Just ask me," he tells me as he pushes my hair behind my ear.
"I just— I don't want to feel this way. You weren't my boyfriend then, I know that but I still feel so angry. I hate her Namjoon-ah," I say and I can feel my heart rate rapid in my chest.
"She meant and still means nothing. You, Sweet Thing, you're it for me. You're the love of my life. I want you yesterday, today, tomorrow. I want the rest of my life to be you. I want to experience all the things life has to offer with you. End Game, baby" he says, repeating a line he has said to me before and I feel a sense of comfort fall over me. I know I can trust him. I need to stop letting other people try and fuck with what I know.
"Okay," I say to him. I believe him, I do. I just need time to process. He wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.
"I love you," he says in a way that almost alludes a question.
"I love you too," I say into his chest. I can hear his heart thumping in his chest. I feel so tired. Mentally, emotionally, physically just exhausted. We stand there with his arms wrapped around me, his fingers lacing into my hair softly for a while. I'm able to release some of the tension in my shoulders and I let out a sigh.
"Ready to go back out with the others?" He asks.
"Yeah," I say as he laces his fingers in mine and we head out to the living room. As soon as we walk into the dark room, I see them all lounging on the beds and couches, snuggling together while a drama plays on the tv. I see Jungkook get up and motions at me to go and lay next to him. I pull on Joon's hand and drag him to join me next to Jungkook. I lay down and JK's arms instantly pull me against his body. Joon lays down in front of me and we start watching the tv. I can hear Tae and Jimin's soft snores above me and I see Hoseok, Seokjin and Yoongi watch me as I settle into Jungkook. I feel his breath against my ear and it's soothing. My heart is calmer just by feeling him close to me.
"I love you," he whispers into my ear and I can't help the tears that stream down my face. Fuck. When will this get easier? Will we always have so much drama? "Look at me," he says softly and he reaches over to pull my hip so that I turn to face him and my eyes instantly find his; lost in the deep, warm brown comfort of him. I can't help but bring my hand up to let my thumb graze his cheek.
"This pain is temporary," he tells me. "Fleeting," He leans in and places his lips on mine softly, letting his tongue gently glide against the seam of my lips. He's so much wiser than his years; the Maknae, our baby, but so mature, so grown. I let myself drown in him, completely allowing myself to relax as I let down my walls. I allow myself to feel comfort and consolation in his touch. I push my body against him, needing to be closer to him; needing to feel him pressed against me, the feeling of him soothing me.
"두근두근," he whispers against my lips, his fingers lacing into mine and pressing my hands against his chest where I can feel his heart slamming in his chest. I squeeze my eyes shut, forcing the tears to stop.
I love them. I love them so much that it's painful. I will fight against anyone and everyone for them. But fuck if it's not wearing me down. I try and push that feeling aside, the feeling of not knowing how much more of me I can give. I swallow hard and smile at the man that I love, whispering back;
"두근두근,"
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The smell of coffee fills my nose and the heat on my skin sends goosebumps down my spine. I feel kisses on my shoulder, soft and sweet but hot against the coldness of my skin.
"Come take a shower with me," I hear in my ear as his breath hits my face. His fingers flutter against my arm as he continues to place kisses against my skin. I open my eyes and see Jungkook looking at me with so much fondness that my heart skips a whole beat. I reach my hands up and pull him toward me; I can't help it, I need to kiss him immediately.
"I want to help you relax," he mutters against my mouth. "Let me show you how much I love you," he finishes and my stomach is in knots. I let my fingers lace into his hair and let my nose nudge his. I smile and before I can get up, he scoops me up in his arms and starts walking us toward my room. I've never thought I had a thing with strength but every time one of these men lifts me up or over powers me in any way, it's like my whole body is on fire.
He takes us into my room and then my bathroom and he sets me down on the counter. He kisses me softly and then goes to turn on the water, the room filling with steam slowly. Jungkook turns back around and walks towards me, settling himself in between my legs. I let my fingers find the hem of his tshirt and I start pulling it up his body, my eyes taking in every inch of him. I pull the shirt off and throw it aside, and he leans forward and kisses me again. His hands tug on my shirt impatiently as he smiles against my lips.
"Off," he whines and I can't help but laugh at his eagerness. But I don't blame him, it feels like it's been an eternity since I've touched him, since I've felt the very distinct pleasure that only he can bring me. He pulls my shirt off my body and my whole body breaks into goosebumps when his fingers graze down my arms and go to my back to unclip my bra. He tosses it aside and then leans down and his mouth latches onto me immediately; his desperation and sense of urgency is evident in the way he moves. I feel the pain and let out a hiss as he continues to suck marks on to my skin. He runs his tongue across each mark, and I can't help the way my back arches at the feeling. I feel his hands come back to my face and he pulls me up to kiss me again. Desperate and deep. I feel like I can't breathe. I push off a little bit to try and catch my breath, let my brain catch up and the moment my lips come off his, his finger goes under my chin and he leans his mouth against mine again.
"I wasn't done," he says with a smirk and I feel myself clench at his dominant response.
I've lost control of myself; I feel no other emotions except bliss, happiness, love. He has a tendency of doing this, of knowing exactly when and how I need comfort and knows precisely how to help me ease any pain, any anxieties, any doubts. I let my hands fall from around his neck, a reaction from the pleasure he's wrecking my body with, as my nails rake down his back as he bites on my nipples gently. I hear him let out a low groan and I don't even realize why until I open my eyes and look down to see the red marks all down his skin.
"Oh my God. Bun, I'm so sorry," I say out loud as I start running my hands up and down his back soothing the marks I caused.
"No, -s good. I like it," he says as his mouth moves back up to my jaw and he kisses my lips hungrily. He lets out a whine and I pull away to see his eyes screwed shut, an almost pained look in his eye.
"Baby," I whisper as I pull his chin up to look at me. "What's wrong?" I ask.
"I'm just— " he sighs dramatically. "I'm so fucking addicted to you Eleanor. It's overwhelming," he says perilously.
"What? Why is it overwhelming? Am I too much? " I ask him confused. He smiles at me and runs his thumb across my lips, forcing the pout I formed at his response.
"Not in the way you are thinking babe," he says with a laugh. "I— I feel like I keep waiting to feel like I've reached the peak; the peak of loving you. Like I've found all the love I can and that's it, I'm done. But I haven't. I can't. There's no end to this, there's no end to the way I love you; the amount of love my heart holds for you. It just keeps going. Everyday it's something new. A new way to love you and I just feel overwhelmed by it," he explains and I feel my chest tighten with adoration for him. I thread my fingers through his hair and kiss him gently.
"Thank you for loving me that way Jungkookie," I say to him as I let my own lips trail their way to his jaw, kissing him over and over again, needing him to know how much love I also have for him. My hands go down to the waist band of his sweats and I start to tug down on them.
We move together like magnets, needing each other to feel complete and reading every need we have for each other. He undresses me completely and leads me under the hot water, his hands praise every inch of my body and his mouth follows, creating a feeling of chaos in my belly. He shows me he loves me by pushing himself into me torturously slow and filling me in the most transcendental way. Every roll of his hips is a praise in my ear, a reason for loving me, a plaudit of emotion. Where words falter, his body leaves no doubts. It's an out of body experience, I needed him; his body, of course, but his mind and his soul complete me.
We reach out climaxes together, panting into each other's mouthes as we confess our love for each other over and over again. I missed him, I missed this. We stay in the shower a little while longer, just wrapped up in each other. After a while, just looking at him and i'm hit with a realization. It doesn't matter who it is, Nabi or anyone else, I have the power to not allow them to make me feel inferior; especially in my relationships. Even if I can't be public about them, I have every single right to not allow others to interfere with what we have. I'm hit with a wave of anger and resentment (toward those who've tried to come between us) but also with the complete understanding that I am so fucking lucky to have these men. The ones who have stood by me through so much and understand me in every way. I should continue to work on myself everyday to be the best person I can for myself but also for them.
"I'm sorry I'm so hard on you. I'm sorry I get angry and walk away," I tell him as he reaches over to turn off the water.
"What are you talking about?" He asks me, reaching outside of the door to grab our towels, wrapping mine around me first, kissing me lightly, and then wrapping his around his waist.
"When we argue. I feel like I shut down, get angry and walk away. Most of the time, it's because I want to avoid a huge blow up and I know that we both have short fuses but I always wish that I could be different, that I could take what you say and processes it quickly and have the perfect words to say but I don't and I can't. But that doesn't mean that I don't feel awful about it. I never want to walk away from you, ever but I also don't want to say something I don't mean, you know?" I tell him. "What I do mean, though, is that I love you Jeon Jungkook. I love you in ways I can not even begin to explain to you. I can say, with 100% certainty that what you and I have is fate. It's destiny. It's all cheesy synchronisms and happenstance, and not only can I not live without you; but I refuse to. I refuse to live in a world where you are not mine. So thank you. Thank you for always being so patient and understanding. Thank you for fighting with me and for me and us. You mean absolutely everything to me," I finish. He wraps his hands around my face and looks at me with those big, doe eyes I love so much.
"Damnit," he whispers and he leans in and kisses me deeply. "When you say things like that," he says as his lips tangle with mine, his tongue gently gliding across mine. "It makes me want to do stupid, crazy things," he let's out. We hear a small rap on the door and we both look up to see Taehyung poke his head in.
"Your phone was ringing Angel, and I figured it was probably important," he says to me. I look back up to Jungkook and he gives me his adorable scrunch nose smile, kisses me softly and walks toward the door. He pinches Taehyung's throat as he passes him and they both laugh as Tae walks my way. He hands me my phone and I look down to see an email from my agent. I scrunch my eyebrows together in complete confusion.
"What's wrong El?" Tae asks, his arms winding around my waist.
"It's from my agent. I got an offer to model for Nouvelle Mariee's bridal runway collection next month. She was so impressed with me at the Vogue shoot that she wants me for the show," I tell him, still stunned.
"Angel!" He shouts as he picks me up and spins me around, my towel hanging on by a thread. He puts me down and starts kissing my face and neck wildly. "I'm so proud of you!" He says as his hands cup my face and he kisses my lips.
"Aish. I'm not even sure I want to do it," I tell him as I pull away from him.
"What do you mean? You're perfect and now everyone else gets to see how incredible you are. I'm dating a model!" He says dramatically. I roll my eyes at him.
"Taehyung, you're so dramatic" I tell him.
"I'm not— I'm just excited to watch my beautiful girlfriend on a runway, with so many people wanting you but knowing that you belong to me," he says as he looks down on me with those eyes; the eyes that burn into me. "Do you know how much that inflates my ego? Hmmm?" He says as his mouth moves down my jaw and to my neck as he gently sucks right on the pulse point and I feel my knees buckle as his breath hits my skin. Fuck. "Knowing that you're mine," he says as he emphasizes the last word. "Just think about it," he asks me
I bring my hands up and I tangle them into his hair, absentmindedly letting go of my towel. His hands instantly pull me into his body, his nails digging into my hips. His mouth moves feverishly, and I am panting beneath him. I feel like I'm running a marathon; my heart beating out of my chest. It's just the way he makes me feel; the exhilaration that courses through my veins at the feeling of him on me.
"I love you Angel," he whispers.
I'm overcome with a sense of possessiveness. They love me; just as much, if not more than I love them. The thought of Nabi or anyone taking them from me makes me want to go absolutely mental.
"I love you Tae-ah," I say to him as I kiss his lips. I pull him closer to me by the hair, knowing that he, like Jungkook, likes when I get a little rough. I hear him moan when I pull his hair and bite down on his lip.
"You're mine," I mumble into his mouth. "Only mine," I reiterate. "Do you understand?" I ask him as I tug on his hair, pulling him away to look at me.
"Fuck, yes" he stutters out. "Yours. Only yours," he tells me, between pants.
I watch him at my absolute will and subservient to me and it triggers my avariciousness even more. I decide that I'm not going to take this shit anymore. I will never allow anyone to have them in the way that I can and that's fucking final.
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"You got an offer to model?" Seokjin says as he walks into the kitchen. I am making myself a drink while everyone gets ready to do a couple of things for the afternoon.
"Yeah, but I don't think I'm going to take it," I tell him honestly. I've always been able to be really honest with him about how I feel.
"Why?" He asks as he walks toward me.
"Honestly, I feel like I'd look so stupid. I know nothing about modeling. What if I embarrass myself in front of hundreds of people? I don't know if I'll be able to handle anymore," I tell him honestly.
"Pretty," he lets out. His hands go to my hips as he pulls me tight against him. "You are an artist. You have an idea of how to pose your body in the most beautiful ways. I have no doubt that you'd do amazing. I think everyone would be just as blown away as Novelle Mariee's people are by you," he reassures me. He leans down and kisses me softly.
"You're biased because I have sex with you," I say into his mouth as a smile spreads across my face as his endearing and supportive behavior.
"I may be biased but I'm not blind. You're gorgeous and I'm willing to let the rest of the world look at you," he scoffs. I kiss him quickly and then turn around to grab my cup again.
"What are your plans for today? Do you have work?" Seokjin asks me as he leans his chest against my back as I'm leaned over on the kitchen island, drinking my coffee.
"No work. I have shoots tomorrow but I have some errands to run today," I say to him.
"What kind of errands?" He asks me. I'm not going to tell him. He will talk me out of it and I need to do it. I won't feel good until I do.
"Christmas stuff," I say to him. It's nice that December now and we are only 2 weeks from Christmas so I can use that as an excuse. And while I do have some Christmas things to finish up, today's trip is not about that.
"Mmmmm, Christmas?" He says. "Did you get me something?" He asks.
"I did," I tell him. "But it's a surprise," I finish as I turn to face him and flash him a smile. "I think it's something you'll like," I say.
"You know what I'd like?" He says to me as his hands cage me in against the counter.
"Mmm?" I sigh.
"Spend the rest of your life with me?" He says and I laugh. He's asked me the same question so many times that it doesn't even catch me off guard anymore.
"Are you sure? That's a long time," I ask him as I nudge my nose against his.
"It's not enough. Never enough," he says and kisses me softly. After a few minutes of indulging in Jin before he has to leave, I head to my room to change for my mission. I texted Daehyun-ssi and although he doesn't necessarily agree with what i'm doing, he's rather go with me than have me go alone. As I'm finishing up, I see Hoseok walk in.
"Where are you going Princess?" He asks. Jungkook, Taehyung and Seokjin left to the indoor tennis courts to play for a few hours while Namjoon, Jimin, Yooongi and Hoseok are going to the studio to do some work for a couple of hours.
"I'm going to go run some errands," I tell him. "Dae-ssi is coming with me," I add in, making sure that he knows that I'm being safe.
"Ah, okay. How long will you be out?" He asks.
"Not sure, why? Do you need something?" I ask him.
"We have plans tonight," he informs me.
"What kind of plans?" I ask him. He walks toward me and he threads his fingers through my hair gently and leans forward so his lips ghost over mine, goosebumps cascading over my entire body.
"Hot plans. Dirty plans. Very, very fun plans," he whispers and I close my eyes and can't stop the whine that leaves my mouth. "We didn't get to play last night and we are all so ready for you," he informs me.
"Fuck" I whisper. He laughs at me and kisses me slowly.
"We are going to get going. We will only be in the studio for a couple of hours, then we will pick up some dinner and be back here. We have the rest of the week off so we will be able to spend the next 4 days together," he says to me as he wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me tight. We walk to the kitchen so that I can say goodbye to Jimin, Yoongi and Namjoon before they go.
I embrace Joon and kiss him, tell him I love him and always will. I feel his body relax under my touch and know that he needed to be reassured of that. Yoongi kisses me and tells me he is cooking my favorite meal when he gets home and I can't help but feel so endeared by him.
Jimin reaches out for my hand and I follow him toward the foyer or the house while the other three grab their bags. He catches me off guard when he pushes me against the wall and kisses me deeply. Taking things from sweet and romantic to rough and hot very, very quickly. We hear a knock on the door and I'm sure it's just Daehyun, letting me know he's here. Yoongi, Hoseok and Namjoon have also joined us, so I pull away from Jimin and he wraps his arms around my waist, his lips latching onto my neck as I go to open the door and let Daehyun in. I'm not 100% comfortable with showing physical affection in front of our security but it's our home, I think they'd understand.
"No marks, Jimin-ah," I whine out as I feel him suck gently on my neck. He smiles against my skin and I feel him wrap his arms tighter around me as he follow me to the door and I reach out to open it. I pull it toward me and look at the person standing in front of me. He looks familiar but I can't put my finger on who he is. I feel Joon, Hobi and Yoongi standing around me and a curse falters from Joon's lips. I look at him and I'm confused. What is going on?
"Jimin-hyung?" I hear the guy say and Jimin brings his face up and I watch every ounce of color drain from his face.
Hyung?
"씨발 [Fuck]" I hear him whisper in my ear.
This can't be good.