"So she's basically free. I mean, she's not going to jail," Dinah explained to Lauren as they walked back to the truck. "She's required to start seeing a therapist and some other special doctor, but that's about it. They said from her uncle's autopsy it was obvious that the gun had misfired. She must've been trying to get it away from him and pulled the trigger by accident."
"Damn," Lauren bit her lip, sliding into the back of the truck.
"Lolo," Camila hummed happily, crawling into the back of Dinah's truck and scooting right up next to Lauren. The five girls had decided to go out to dinner to celebrate Camila's acquittal. Lauren was on cloud nine.
Normani slid into the back of the car next to Camila, with Ally and Dinah in the front. Dinah winked at Lauren in the rear view mirror, making the green eyed girl's cheeks flush red when she realized Camila was practically sitting in her lap.
"Hi," Camila smiled widely, her face inches away from Lauren's. She didn't seem to mind that there were three other people in the car watching them.
"Hi," Lauren giggled, feeling the now-familiar feeling of butterflies in her stomach. Camila abruptly leaned in, kissing Lauren quickly and then turning around to make sure everyone had seen them.
"My Lolo," she announced proudly. Lauren was taken aback by the kiss, and moments later Camila's lips were against hers again. This time Lauren caught up, and kissed her back gently. She felt Camila smiling against her lips and couldn't help but do the same. When the kiss pulled away, Lauren's face grew red as she felt everyone's eyes on her.
"Gross," Normani mumbled under her breath, sending Lauren a playful smirk through the mirror. Lauren shoved her playfully, which caused Camila to giggle. Normani moved to push Lauren back, but Camila threw herself inbetween them to stop her.
"Be nice," Camila nodded once, taking Normani's hands and moving them away. The dark skinned girl raised an eyebrow.
"So Lauren can hit me but I can't hit her back?" her and Lauren exchanged glances. The green eyed girl burst into laughter.
"Yes. Be nice," Camila let go of Normani's hands and scooted into Lauren's side. Normani rolled her eyes playfully.
Once they made it to the pizza place, Camila tugged Lauren out of the car and practically dragged her inside the restaurant. They were taken to a large booth in the back, where Camila insisted that she sit next to Lauren. As if the girls would allow them to sit apart from each other.
"What're we getting?" Ally asked, turning the menu over to continue reading it. Camila furrowed her eyebrows and reached across the table, taking Ally's menu away from her and placing it on top of her own.
"Pizza," she nodded once, pointing to the picture on the menu and smiling proudly. The other four girls exchanged glances and shrugged, figuring pizza would be all they needed. The waitress came and took their order, paying extra attention to Lauren the entire time.
Now Camila may be pretty special, but she wasn't stupid. She saw the waitress wink at Lauren and immediately scooted closer to the girl. By the time the waitress collected their menus and left the table, Camila was practically in Lauren's lap.
"What are you doing?" Lauren giggled, wrapping an arm around Camila. The smaller girl glared at the waitress across the restaurant and Lauren followed her line of vision, realizing what she was alluding to.
"Her?" Lauren asked, raising an eyebrow. Camila looked at her, concern evident in her features. This only made Lauren laugh and shake her head.
"Why would I want her when I've got you?"
Camila smiled shyly. Meanwhile, Dinah and Normani were making gagging noises while Ally looked at the other two girls affectionately. Lauren stuck her tongue out at them, which only made Dinah flick water off of her straw at them.
"Hey!" Camila crossed her arms and glared at Dinah across the table. "Be nice."
"Wait, Camila, didn't you have those clothes on when you left our apartment?" Ally spoke up, interrupting their conversation. Camila looked at her sleeves, thinking for a moment before nodding slowly. Lauren raised an eyebrow.
"You've been wearing those clothes the entire time?" she asked, turning to look at the girl next to her. Camila suddenly grew ashamed, but nodded her head.
"They didn't give you a change of clothes?" Lauren bit her lip, fighting the urge to get up and give the people who had been taking care of Camila piece of her mind.
"Mean," Camila shook her head, leaning into Lauren's side. The older girl looked at her roommates questioningly, wrapping a protective arm around Camila and holding her close.
"How were they mean?" Lauren asked, running a hand through Camila's hair to loosen her curls. Camila thought for a moment.
"They did not understand me," she replied slowly, tracing circles in the material of her jeans. Lauren took a deep breath to calm herself down. Camila noticed Lauren's agitation and turned to the other girl. "But I am here now, right?"
"Exactly," Dinah spoke up, reaching across the table and squeezing Camila's hand. "And I don't think you're gonna leave anytime soon."
Camila nodded confidently, turning back to Lauren and kissing her cheek. "I stay with you, yes?" Lauren felt herself comforted by Camila's touch and she nodded slowly.
"Of course," she smiled, kissing Camila's forehead and earning more gagging noises from Dinah's side of the booth. She kicked the Polynesian girl under the table, causing Dinah to reel backwards, tipping her chair over and landing on the ground with a thud.
"Ouch," Camila giggled from her side of the table, knowing what Lauren had done. Dinah groaned, standing back up and brushing off her backside.
"Nice one, Jauregui," she joked, sitting back down. Normani and Ally both struggled to hold in their laughter, but the moment Dinah looked over at them questioningly, they both lost it.
Dinah was about to rebut their laughter with a sarcastic comment, but their pizza was brought to the table before she could. Camila squealed excitedly, which earned a few questioning glances from the tables around them. The moment Lauren glared back at them, though, they averted their eyes.
"Woah," Lauren grabbed Camila's hand just as the girl reached for the entire pizza. She giggled and shook her head, grabbing a knife and beginning to cut the pizza. "Sharing is caring, Camz."
"Oh," Camila watched intently as Lauren cut her a slice, holding up her plate when Lauren asked her to. She giggled in anticipation when Lauren slid the pizza onto her plate, and immediately took a bite.
"I like pizza," Camila smiled widely. Lauren giggled and cut herself a slice, passing the knife across the table to the other girls.
"I can tell," Lauren raised an eyebrow at Camila, who was already halfway done her slice before Lauren had even taken a bite.
"But I like Lolo better," Camila added, setting down her food and reaching up to press her fingers to Lauren's cheek. Lauren shivered. Giggling, Camila withdrew her fingers and leaned up to kiss the same spot on Lauren's cheek.
"Damn, Laur, she chose you over pizza," Dinah grinned from across the table. Lauren bit the inside of her cheek to hide her smile. Camila turned her attention back to her pizza, taking another bite and giving Normani a thumbs up from across the table.
A little over an hour later, the girls all arrived back at the apartment. Camila stood hesitantly in the hallway, biting her lip when everyone else went inside. Noticing this, Lauren turned around and stood in the doorway.
"Are you coming?" she asked softly, tilting her head to the side. Camila took a step forward but still remained quiet. Growing concerned, Lauren took a step out into the hallway and took Camila's hand. "What's wrong?"
The smaller girl held onto Lauren's hand tightly, peering into the apartment and looking down at her feet. "It is scary," she nodded towards the doorway.
"Scary?" Lauren turned to glance back into the apartment, trying to figure out what could possibly scare the younger girl. "What's scary?"
"I do not want to leave again," Camila proceeded to free her hands, clapping her wrists together behind her back and looking at Lauren pleadingly. Lauren's heart dropped when she realized the smaller girl was referring to the handcuffs that had been put on her when she was taken from the apartment.
"Hey, no, that's not going to happen again," Lauren shook her head, stressing her words to make sure Camila believed her. She took a step forward, taking both of Camila's hands in her own and meeting her eyes.
"There's no more bad guys," she said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Camila's ear. "I'm going to make sure of that."
Camila opened her mouth to speak, but Lauren already knew what she was going to say. She beat her to it, lifting her pinky finger. "I promise, Camz," she giggled. Camila crinkled her nose when Lauren took the words out of her mouth, but proceeded to lock their fingers together.
"Can I ask you something?" Lauren questioned, figuring now was a good of a time as any. Camila nodded softly, allowing Lauren to continue.
"How did you end up coming to New York? How'd you find us?" she asked, running a hand through her hair nervously. She watched as Camila furrowed her eyebrows, biting her lip in concentration and looking down at the ground. Lauren allowed her time to think.
"I..." Camila looked at Lauren nervously. "I remembered you."
Lauren brought her hand up to her lip, toying with her bottom lip nervously. "You what?"
"I remembered you," Camila said more confidently, reaching up and cupping Lauren's cheek with her hand. "Lolo was in New York. I needed a friend."
Biting her lip, Lauren nodded and looked down at the ground. "Are you happy here, Camila?" she asked, wondering if maybe she wasn't enough for the girl.
"Yes!" Camila smiled widely, taking Lauren's hands in her own and swinging them gently. "I have you. I am happy." She thought for a moment before meeting Lauren's eyes. "Are you?"
Lauren giggled, feeling relieved from Camila's response. "Of course I am," she crinkled her nose playfully. "I have you, I am happy," she repeated what Camila had just said. Camila realized this and giggled.
"Thank you for being my friend, Lolo," Camila pulled Lauren into a tight hug, taking the older girl by surprise. Lauren felt her heart melt right then and there, and she wrapped her arms around Camila gently.
"Thank you for being my friend, Camz," Lauren smiled as they pulled away from the hug. "Are you going to come inside now?"
Camila nodded softly. "We will watch Friends," she declared, shuffling past Lauren and into the apartment. Laughing, Lauren followed her into the living room, where Camila was already picking out an episode.
The other girls joined them halfway through the first episode. Halfway through their third episode, Ally fell asleep. By the time their sixth episode ended, Lauren and Camila were the only ones awake.
"Camz," Lauren giggled quietly when she saw Camila grab the remote to pick another episode. "We've watched six episodes already, I think it's time for bed."
Camila furrowed her eyebrows and set the remote back down.
"Do you think you can take a shower first?" Lauren asked, realizing that if Camila hadn't been given a change of clothes, she most likely hadn't been given an opportunity to shower, either. Camila nodded softly.
"Lolo's pajamas?" she asked, tilting her head to the side with a hopeful smile on her face. Lauren giggled.
"Sure," Lauren got up quietly and held her hand out for Camila, who took it gently and pulled Lauren up the stairs. Once they reached the bathroom, Lauren handed Camila a towel and left a change of clothes on the sink.
"I'll be right across the hall, okay?" she said, squeezing Camila's hand. The smaller girl nodded in understanding, and Lauren closed the bathroom door quietly before slipping into her bedroom.
She heard the squeaking sound that indicated the shower was turned on just as she lay back on her bed. Having a moment alone made her realize how relieved she truly was. And just how painful losing Camila had been.
It scared her tremendously, knowing how much control one person could have over her emotions. But she trusted Camila.
Before Camila, Lauren had been considerably closed off. Her parents had always told her that she was in too much of a rush to grow up. Maybe Camila was exactly what she needed. The girl made her do things she never imagined she'd ever do. And surprisingly, she liked it.
About fifteen minutes later, she was brought out of her thoughts when her door slowly creaked open.
"Knock knock," Camila whispered, standing in the doorway. Lauren lifted her head, feeling her breath catch in her throat when she saw Camila. The smaller girl had on one of Lauren's oversized band shirts, and a pair of boxer shorts underneath.
"Who's there?" Lauren giggled. Camila smiled widely, padding into the room and closing the door quietly so she wouldn't wake the other girls. Walking over to the bed, Camila handed Lauren a hairbrush, which caused the older girl to raise an eyebrow.
"Braid, please?" Camila crawled up onto the bed, sitting cross legged. Lauren couldn't help but smile and she nodded softly. Patting the spot in front of her, Lauren began brushing through Camila's hair gently once she scooted backwards.
"Lolo?" Camila said softly, keeping her head still as Lauren began to section off her hair.
"Yeah?" The green eyed girl asked.
"Am I bad?"
Lauren sat up straighter, pausing what she was doing and tilting her head to the side. "What?"
Biting her lip, Camila turned around to look at Lauren and looked down at her hands. "They think I am bad," she said softly, lacing her fingers together.
"Who does?" Lauren asked, reaching out and placing her hands around Camila's. She could tell the younger girl was feeling ashamed of something, and she intended on finding out what.
"Everyone."
"I don't," Lauren said softly. She shook her head and laced their fingers together. "Out of everyone I've ever met in my entire life, you are the furthest from bad. I promise." She held out her pinkie, but Camila didn't move.
"I killed him," Camila shook her head, sending droplets of water flying around them. "I am bad."
"Your uncle?" Lauren asked carefully. She'd never exactly addressed the topic with Camila. The smaller girl looked up and met Lauren's eyes, nodding hesitantly.
"C'mere," Lauren whispered, pulling Camila into her side and ignoring her wet hair. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" she asked cautiously. She felt Camila take a deep breath.
"He hurt me, Lolo," she said quietly, looking up at Lauren with a look in her eyes that begged for forgiveness.
"I know, baby," Lauren nodded softly and ran her fingers up and down Camila's arm to soothe her. "What happened?"
"I was bad. And he was angry," Camila clenched her hands into fists and pressed them into the bed. "There was a gun. I was scared, and I tried to stop him." The smaller girl took a deep breath and Lauren squeezed her shoulder reassuringly.
"I did not mean to hurt him. I do not like hurt," Camila shook her head quickly, and Lauren reached out, cupping her cheeks to stop her.
"It is not your fault, Camila, do you hear me?" she pressed her forehead against the smaller girl's and looked her straight in the eyes. Camila nodded slowly, shocked by Lauren's reaction.
"All of that stuff that happened to you, that is not your fault. I promise. I'll promise a million fucking times if it will help you realize that," Lauren shook her head, pulling Camila into a hug and holding her tightly.
"And I'm so sorry I couldn't keep you from going through all of that. But I'm going to do everything I can to keep you safe from now on, I swear," Lauren took a deep breath, trying to calm herself down.
"Thank you," Camila whispered, resting her head on Lauren's shoulder. For some reason, Camila's words reminded Lauren of the Camila she'd known in high school, and she shivered.
"I have something for you," Lauren remembered, jogging across the room to grab her backpack. Camila watched her questioningly from the bed.
The moment Lauren pulled the stuffed dog from her backpack, Camila's face lit up. She scrambled off the bed, taking the yellow toy into her own hands and smiling widely.
"Sunny!" she hugged it to her chest and looked up at Lauren. "You saved him."
Lauren giggled and walked back over to the bed. Camila crawled up as well, sitting down to Lauren and holding the stuffed animal in her lap.
"You remember it?" Lauren asked, pointing to the toy. Camila nodded.
"Yes. He was mine," she held the dog up for Lauren to see, before setting it down at the foot of the bed. "How did you find him?"
"I, uh," Lauren swallowed hard and pulled her bag up on the bed next to them. "I had to go back to your house... while you were gone." She pulled Camila's old journal out and sat it in front of her. Camila stared at it blankly.
"What is that?" she asked, running her fingers over the leather cover.
"You don't remember this?" Lauren asked, flipping the journal open and pointing to one of the many pages with writing on it. "This was your journal. At least, before the car accident."
"I do not remember," Camila hung her head down.
"Hey, you don't have to be ashamed," Lauren reached out and tilted Camila's chin up so she wasn't looking down. "I don't expect you to remember anything. What's past is past, right? It doesn't matter." She tossed the journal off of the bed.
Camila gazed up at Lauren and smiled softly before yawning. Lauren giggled and raised an eyebrow. "Tired?"
Camila nodded, and burrowed under the blankets without another words. Laughing, Lauren leaned over to turn off the lights and pulled the blankets over both of them. As always, the moment her head hit the pillow, Camila curled up at her side.
"Goodnight, Camz," Lauren whispered. In response, Camila yawned and nodded before pulling Lauren closer to her. Giggling softly, Lauren laid her head on her pillow, falling asleep shortly after. This was the first time she'd gotten much of any sleep in the past week. Now that she was comforted by the fact that Camila was safe, she soon faced the reality of her exhaustion.
She slept soundly for a fraction of the night, but was awoken by a set of nails digging into her arm. She rolled away groggily, lifting her head to see what was going on. The small whimpers from beside her quickly made her realize that Camila was having another nightmare.
"Camz," she whispered, tapping the sleeping girl. No response.
"Camila," she said louder, this time sitting up and shaking Camila's shoulders. The girl continued to cry out, but she was fully asleep. Unsure of what to do, Lauren lay back down and pulled Camila next to her. The small girl's hands immediately clung onto her shirt.
Steal my heart and hold my tongue.
I feel my time, my time has come.
Let me in, unlock the door.
I've never felt this way before.
The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummer begins to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know which way I've come.
Hold my head inside your hands,
I need someone who understands.
I need someone, someone who hears,
For you, I've waited all these years.
For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come.
Until my day, my day is done.
And say you'll come, and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Lauren held her breath when she felt Camila stir. The smaller girl's eyes fluttered open and she gazed up at Lauren, a worried look on her face. Instantly, Lauren reached down and wiped the tears from her eyes.
"Are you okay?" she asked softly, pulling Camila closer to her. The smaller girl nodded and felt around under the covers until she found Lauren's hands, lacing their fingers together.
"More," she whispered, resting her head on Lauren's chest. A soft smile spread across Lauren's face and she nodded softly.
In your tears and in your blood,
In your fire and in your flood,
I hear you laugh, I heard you sing,
"I wouldn't change a single thing."
The wheels just keep on turning,
The drummers begin to drum,
I don't know which way I'm going,
I don't know what I've become.
For you, I'd wait 'til kingdom come,
Until my days, my days are done.
Say you'll come and set me free,
Just say you'll wait, you'll wait for me.
Lauren bit her lip to hide her smile when she realized Camila had fallen back asleep. Taking a deep breath, she pulled the covers back over them and allowed sleep to overtake her for the second time that night.
—
a/n: hopefully this chapter will help alleviate a lil bit of the frustration going on w management right now, lol.
in other news.... #12 on wattpad?!?!?! that's insane. i'm so overwhelmed. thank for you reading and commenting and being adorable. i love you all endlessly.
also, if you didn't catch it yesterday, there's definitely going to be a sequel. it's called 'blue' ;) let me know what you want to see!
- lena (@lenajfc on twitter, txrches on tumblr)