EJ WASN'T LOOKING FORWARD to the few weeks ahead. Every week that passed brought him closer to graduation, and to the day he would have to leave school. EJ already told his dad that he wasn't going to graduate early, without telling him why. So, every day closer to graduation meant a day closer to running out of time.
He would have to choose.
The choice was between staying in Salt Lake and taking a gap year━with his dad and his expectations, knowing he wasn't meeting them, or he could go to St. Louis and be everything his father had ever dreamed of. If he didn't go, he was condemning himself to uncertainty. He didn't know what he wanted to do, and he knew that his dad's input would only try and help influence his decisions.
On top of all that, he wasn't in his dad's good graces right now. Not that he always was, but he was pretty mad at him for "letting one of his stupid friends go into the study" and "mess with" all his documents.
Luckily, apart from his dad's mild annoyance over his work, he had gotten away unscathed from his incident with Ricky. His Water Polo friends didn't ask any questions about what happened, but they wouldn't stop teasing him about having a crush on Ricky, pestering him and Marcus to invite him to hang out with them again.
Why Marcus? Because Marcus and Ricky had become best friends now.
Part of what made prom night so aggravating for EJ was that Marcus had asked Ricky to prom with anything but good intentions. He just did it because he knew exactly how to push his buttons.
So, when Marcus texted him, asking to hang out, he was probably up to no good and EJ would've responded no immediately, if not for the fact he asked to meet him in Slices. When he walked in, the other senior was sitting at the back of the restaurant, at the corner table, exactly where he expected him to be.
He sat down, folding his arms. "What do you want?"
"You look good," Marcus smiled. "Are you doing something different with your hair? It looks good..." EJ was going to get up again, so he conceded. "Okay, okay...I'm sorry. I just want to talk."
"No, you don't..." EJ retorted. "If you did, you wouldn't have asked me to come here. How dare you ask Ricky to prom? If our friendship means anything to you..."
"It does," Marcus said. "Why do you think I asked you here?" He waited for EJ to calm down, watching him take short breaths. "Look, I don't want to fight. I've never wanted to...I've been trying to help you."
"You have a pretty fucked up understanding of help." Marcus didn't say anything for a while. He let three customers pile in, and a waiter come and ask them what they wanted.
"Chocolate milkshake, please," Marcus requested, smiling when the waiter turned to EJ, whose jaw was stiffer than rock. "Two."
Marcus still didn't get to his point until after their drinks came, and he had slurped half the milkshake down. "I don't talk to Ricky about you anymore," he said, sitting back. "Out of respect, because I know you still like him. And, I know that you made a mistake...but it wasn't your fault. And, if Ricky doesn't realize that then...he doesn't deserve you."
EJ shook his head. "I was the one who messed up."
"Maybe. But you told him the truth, and you apologized. That's all you can do..." Marcus shrugged. "At least you told him. The easy part's over. Now, here's the hard part..."
"What's that?"
"Forgiveness."
"What makes that the hard part?"
"Have you forgiven me?" EJ looked at him, thinking about an answer, and he grabbed his milkshake, taking his first sip. "Exactly. But, you two have a chance..."
"I don't know..."
"I do." Marcus reached across the table, taking his palm into his hand and enclosing it with his other. "You don't need another relationship where you're holding something in."
He hadn't held Marcus's hand in a long time or seen them so close, but his brain remembered to ignore what he noticed around his wrists━faded, and barely noticeable. They were holding hands for so long, he didn't notice when Marcus caught him staring, and pulled his hands away without a second thought.
EJ took his hands back, placing them around his drink. "Sorry..."
"Me too," Marcus sighed, and he'd reapplied a smirk when he added, "I thought at least one of us had escaped the clutches of our evil paternal figures."
"Nope." EJ groaned. "My dad cares more about who I should be than who I actually am."
"At least he cares about you at all. Some of us don't get that lucky...." EJ bowed his head when Marcus laughed at him. "Ricky's helped, though. He's a good dude."
"I know, he's not like you."
"Hey," Marcus snapped. "That was uncalled for."
"You should be used to it by now."
"I'm not," he chuckled. "But you're right━I tried to turn him against you, and it didn't work..."
"I wouldn't be so sure about that. I think he's changed his mind about me...he called me a liar."
"Saying you're lying and calling you a liar are two different things."
"I thought you said you don't talk to him about me?"
"I don't, but your house has thins walls..."
"I'm sure they get thinner when you put your ears against the door."
"I don't know what you're talking about. I heard everything super clearly over all the music. It was like magic..." EJ wasn't buying it all, and he knew he wasn't either. But, his attempts to crack a joke didn't interest him. "Anyway, the point is that Ricky still cares about you."
"Why are you trying to help me?"
"Because you don't have long left...and I don't want to see you miserable anymore. You deserve better. Spending prom night with Ricky made me realize that...because I haven't seen you look at anyone the way you look at him. Not even me."
EJ smiled, finally, before getting up. "Thanks, Marcus. But I don't think this can be fixed."
His friend shook his head."You've always stepped back after things get tough. I know...sometimes things don't work and there is nothing you can do. But, sometimes they do and you have to fight for them." Marcus grabbed his wrist before he could walk away. "If you're going to let this go, you're ruining it all on your own."
Ricky tapped on his laptop, trying to make sure all his answers were correct before going over them again. He groaned, seeing the huge mistake in his working out. Math was driving him crazy. He didn't even want to think about all the other things he didn't understand in Chemistry and Physics and...or how his brain couldn't process a word of Shakespeare.
Studying was a lot easier with EJ, and a lot more fun. But, he had taken all his advice, and he was going to use it to try and at the very least pass his finals. Ricky didn't have a lot of time left. He had left all the work to the last minute, but it was better than what he did last year, which was nothing.
He worked through it alone. Trying three, six, ten times━rubbing out his workings, and starting again on the same question. And, he almost gave up after his twelfth try until he double-checked the answers again. "Woo!" He clapped. "I'm fucking Einstein."
It was only one question, and it was simple, according to EJ. But, he knew if he were here right now he would celebrate his little victory just like he was. He could picture EJ, if he was there, leaning over the chair, and kissing him for it. He'd let him get distracted even though he wasn't anywhere close to being ready for the exam.
He wished he were here.
His bedroom door swung open, and a small, stupid part of him half-expected EJ to pop his head around the door. It was his dad. "Hey, bud. I don't mean to interrupt, but there's someone here to see you..."
"EJ?" Ricky asked, sitting up a little.
"Not this time." Mike didn't give him any other information. He used his head to point out the door, "Why don't you come and see?"
Ricky knew something was wrong, and he had a feeling that he already knew exactly who was waiting for him downstairs. He wanted to turn around when he got to the kitchen and heard his dad talking...with Lynne.
"What do you mean he doesn't want to talk to me? I didn't from Chicago just to go back after an hour..."
"I know, but he's not gonna be happy to see you..."
They turned around to face him, upon hearing footsteps. "Ricky...how are you?" Lynne asked.
"I'm fine," Ricky shifted towards her, his socks sliding against the floor.
"I wanted to talk to you sooner, but I've just been so busy with work..." Lynne looked at Mike, and he quickly left the room, so they were alone.
"It's been a month," Ricky clenched his jaw. "Almost two. This is as soon as you can get?" She looked at him, staring for the longest time. She didn't know what to say, so he asked her, "What are you doing here, Mom?"
"I was worried about you. And you weren't too happy with me the last time we saw each other."
"The last time I saw you...you told me I was being ridiculous, crazy..."
"I was wrong. But I want to fix things, Ricky━and I'm in Utah for two weeks..."
"Two weeks?" Ricky retorted. "You think two weeks can fix everything?"
"I didn't want to believe that you had changed so much since I was gone. You used to tell me everything, and I didn't want to feel like you were going through all these big life changes without me. I know now that... that was wrong. You're growing up. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you, but that's just the way things are going to be there. And, that shouldn't be your fault, Ricky. I'm here because I love you."
He folded his lips, and he clenched his fists. She couldn't be serious. She couldn't be expecting him to forgive her right now. Especially not when she'd shown up out of the blue. What was she asking for? She didn't want him to change without him? What exactly did she want? A heads up the next time he had a self-revelation he wanted to share? A warning? A two weeks' notice?
"Why don't you just leave? Why don't you just run back to Chicago where you can forget about me and dad and everything else?" His mom was speechless after that. Ricky felt his eyes water, and he cleared his throat. "Whatever, I'm going back upstairs. I'm pretty busy, actually. I've got lots of studying to do..."
"She came to our house," Ricky vented to Gina the following week, at school, as they walked to class together. "She shouldn't get to just walk back into my life like that...it's totally unfair."
"Yeah, it's not fair..." Gina agreed. "And she probably doesn't deserve forgiveness, but the best thing you can do is try your best to act like it doesn't bother you, try to convince her you're over it, that you don't care anymore—she's going to be in your house for two weeks..."
"Exactly, two weeks..."
"So the last thing you need is to let her get to you with all the stuff you have going on with EJ."
"There's nothing going on with EJ. He's...moving on, and so am I." Ricky shrugged, and they stopped, standing in front of lockers. "I told him how I felt...and he couldn't even tell me how he did."
"Maybe he was scared."
Ricky shook his head. "I think he made how he felt very clear. If he wanted to fight for us, he would tell me...no. He's given up."
"That's not true━"
"Marcus?" Ricky called to him, who walked into the conversation. "Gina thinks I should try and live with my mom and move past what she did. Do you have any other words of wisdom?"
The senior looked between the two. Gina was crossing her arms, smiling, and Ricky was waiting expectantly for her to be proved wrong. "I think you should forgive her," he answered, and they both looked befuddled.
"What?"
"Yeah...but at least, if she's asking for it, it means she still cares."
"Sorry, dude. But you're the last person who should be giving advice on whether or not a person cares about something." Ricky walked past them. "See you guys later━I'm gonna be late..."
Gina and Marcus both waited for Ricky to hurry off.
"He's trying too hard to suppress everything," Gina said, turning to Marcus. "He's not good at that..."
"I know. Neither is EJ."
"So you think we should back off again? You think they know what we're doing now?"
"Ricky? Not a chance. EJ, might but...he's impossible. For crying out loud, I try to help him and he's being a child..." Marcus sighed. "They're both stubborn."
"I guess, but the whole prom thing might have been a little harsh. We didn't have to pit them against each other like that."
"We didn't, but it was hilarious." They smiled at each other. "And, it definitely pushed them together, if you know what I mean..."
"Ew," Gina said, scrunching up her nose.
"Sorry," Marcus chuckled, patting Gina on the arm. "I think we've done enough. It really is up to them now."