For context: This chapter takes place (later in the day) after Bella runs into Nico dress shopping with Cara at Milly's.
NICO
I've been staring at the screen on my phone for 30 minutes now. I have what I want to say to Cara typed out, but it's never easy breaking up with someone. Not to mention the fact that Cara is definitely not expecting it considering I just dropped her home.
It doesn't matter that I barely feel anything for Cara, she's still a good person. She doesn't deserve to get her heart broken. But what am I supposed to do? I'm "with" Cara, but I want Bella. And Cara doesn't deserve that. I know that, and I don't have it in me to lead her on any longer. I don't have it in me to give myself to her when there's only one person in this world who has my undivided attention.
Bella. That person is Bella.
I've accepted the fact that Bella's the only girl that I'll ever love. What I haven't accepted is the fact that she's testing out the waters. Word on the street is that she dumped Danny's ass, but I still don't like the whole concept of her dating other guys. I don't like it at all.
I take a few mental deep breaths in and out and then finally press 'Send' on my message. My parents have no idea that I'm ending my relationship with Cara, but they lost the right to be involved in my romantic life the second that they removed themselves from my life in general.
I'm not nervous about how Cara will respond. I'm expecting her to be upset. What I'm nervous about is the reason why I feel the need to end things with her.
I thought that I could do it. I thought that I could hold Cara's hand while looking at Bella in the eyes. But anytime that happens, I feel this giant pit in my stomach. Like something's wrong. Because something is wrong. It's not Cara's hand that I want to be holding...its Bella's.
A few minutes later, and still no response from Cara, yet the only thing that I'm thinking about is Bella. I want to see her, even though I saw her earlier today. It doesn't count, though. Cara was getting her dress tailored for the Summer Dance, and while she looked pretty in it, I was too mesmerized by Bella when she stepped outside of the fitting room.
She looked like an angel. The dress hugged her body perfectly, but it wasn't just that. I know Bella, and she hates fancy shit; she hates being the center of attention, but one look at her in that gown, and I can tell she felt confident. She felt seen. She felt worthy.
That's all that I've ever wanted her to feel.
I dial Brooks' cell, and he picks up on the second ring.
"Waddup?" he asks.
"That was fast. Was expecting this call to go to voicemail. Thought you were over at Brittany's house."
"I am. So?"
"So...I thought you'd be...," I pause, "...busy."
"I am, fucker. So make this quick."
"What are you doing tomorrow? Wanna hang at mine? Take out the jet-skis, barbecue? I can tell the girls."
"As thrilling as that sounds, Nic, I'm not in the mood to third wheel you and Cara. And her friend...you know the blonde one with the squeaky voice? Definitely not in the mood for her."
"I didn't mean Cara. We actually...," I close my eyes and press down on my lips, "...broke up."
Brooks chuckles into the phone. "Ha, no shit. Took you long enough. How'd she take it?"
"Well, she didn't. I texted her, but no response yet."
"You texted the poor girl? Nic, man, I know that you weren't down, but don't you think she deserved a phone call?"
Unbelievable. "This coming from the king of ghosting girls?"
"I've never ghosted a girlfriend."
"That's because you never had one, dipshit."
"Yeah, and why do you think that is? So that I don't have to deal with shit like this."
"Okay," I pinch my nose, "Brooks, focus. I didn't call you for dating advice. Yes or no to tomorrow?"
"You know that I'm always game for jet-skis. Which girls were you thinking of telling?"
I know that Brooks is about to give me shit for my answer, which is why I wait a few seconds to respond.
"Bella and Remi."
"Fucking hell, Nico. You know I love Bella like a sister, but Remi's annoying as fuck."
"She's Bella's best friend."
"Yeah, so? What does that do for me? I'll tell you what it does for me...nothing."
"Brooks, one day of keeping it in your pants won't kill you."
"You're so in love with Bella, man, it's scary."
His words sit with me for longer than I'd like them to. Because he's right. It scares me, too.
Not wanting to feel threatened by what my best friend just stated, I deflect:
"You in or you out?"
He sighs so loudly into the speaker that I have to pull the phone away from my ear. "In, I guess."
"That'a boy. I'll see you tomorrow. Figure early afternoon."
Just as I'm about to hang up, Brooks calls out to me:
"Wait. Hold up a sec."
"What?" I ask, annoyingly.
"What did Bella say when you invited her over?"
I just remembered that I still need to text her. The thought of her declining my invite leaves me uneasy. "I didn't yet. Was about to now."
Brooks chuckles again. "May the force be with you."
And that's when I hang up on his ass.
Here goes nothing, I think before I type out the message to Bella.
My house tomorrow. Jet-skis. Remi's invited, too.
The second that I press 'Send', I contemplate if I should've included an exclamation point, maybe a smiley-face emoji?
It takes about 2 minutes for my phone to light up with a text back from her, and when it does, I'm grinning from ear-to-ear like a fucking idiot. Damn, this girl has me whipped.
***
The next day, Bella walks into my backyard with Remi by her side. But, to be honest, I'm not looking at Remi. How can I when Bella's dressed like that? I'm not used to seeing her in a dress. God dammit, she's gorgeous...and I'm screwed.
"You made it!" I exclaim with my arms open wide.
I can tell that Bella's thinking about something. I hope that she's not going back and forth in her mind about why she's here. She tends to do that...second guess herself. And I don't know why, when she's the smartest girl in the room.
Brooks and I let the girls drive the jet-skis on their own first. And, fuck, if my heart rate doesn't speed up the second that I see Bella in a bathing suit.
When the time finally comes for Bella to ride with me, she does just what I had hoped she would. She wraps her hands around my waist.
It's the best feeling in the world.
"Hold on tight," I tell her. Though it doesn't matter how tightly she holds. I'll always keep her safe. Always.