"𝙰𝚕𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚍 𝚅𝚒𝚎𝚠"
ᴀᴜᴛʜᴏʀ
𝕝𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕣 𝕥𝕙𝕒𝕥 𝕞𝕠𝕣𝕟𝕚𝕟𝕘
𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙗𝙖𝙪
"HEY, WHERE WERE YOU?" Noah asks as she stands from the chair at Emily's desk, "I called you three times."
"Sorry, I took a little too long in the shower," Emily says as she sits her bag down and takes her seat. The mother almost cannot bear to look in her daughter's eyes out of fear that she would reveal everything she is not supposed to know.
"I was worried about you," Noah mutters as she looks down at the floor, eyeing her untied shoe lace.
Emily peers up at the words and stares at Noah. The teen is freshly showered from her workout with wet hair and a bare face. Her sweatpants that are actually Emily's are barely grasping her waist and her long hoodie sleeves hang from her arms.
"I'm sorry," Emily says as she stops staring. She thinks about the words on the pages and how she does not want to be the subject of another one, "I was in such a rush, I didn't check my phone."
"Okay," Noah mumbles.
"C'mere," Emily says and holds her hand out. Noah takes her mother's hand and feels herself being pulled closer. Emily plants a kiss on Noah's forehead and strokes her cheek, "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you worry."
"It's okay," Noah mutters.
"It's not," Emily replies, "I'll be better about checking my phone."
"What's wrong?" Noah asks as she eyes her mother, wondering where the sincere apology over something so small is coming from. She assumes Emily is just worried about her panic attack the night before, but she shrugs it off.
"Nothing," Emily says, putting a smile on her face, "I just love you."
"Love you too," Noah replies and grabs her bookbag. She walks over to Penelope's office and knocks on the door.
"Come in!"
Noah opens the door, revealing Penelope twiddling her fuzzy pink pen with her feet propped up on her desk. The teen smiles and steps into the office.
"Hello, my darling!" Penelope beams and swirls around to face the couch in the back of her office. Noah takes a seat and seems to let out a deep breath.
"Hi," The teen sulks.
"What's wrong?" Penelope coos, "You're too cute to have frown lines."
Noah smiles a bit at the comment and sinks into the couch cushion, "I'm just...watching the days go by."
"I know it must be hard," Penelope says as she wheels her chair closer to the teen, "But we're all here for you."
"Your play was good," Noah mentions, changing the subject, "I saw that Kevin was in the audience. How'd he like it?"
"He thinks it's cool," Penelope beams, "He comes to a lot of my shows."
"I'm really glad you guys worked out," Noah notes. Penelope thinks to herself, wondering if she should ask the question that is on the tip of her tongue.
"Noah," Penelope says before gulping the fear in her throat, "Foyet said something about you being in love with a girl."
"Yeah," Noah groans, "Asshole."
"Is that true?" The blonde asks.
Noah's eyes seem to go out of focus as she processes the question. Penelope shifts in her chair at the silence in the room. The creaking of the chair brings Noah back as she peers into Penelope's eyes.
"I didn't want anyone to know like that," Noah shrugs, "I wanted it to be something that I told you all when I accepted it myself."
Noah looks down at her hands, "And now everyone gets to process it with me."
"Well, if you like this girl then I'm happy for you," Penelope says and watches Noah smile to herself.
"Yeah, I do," The teen nods and peers up once again.
"Tell me all about her?" Penelope suggests with a grin.
"She's everything you'd want in a person you're supposed to share life with," Noah says, "She's the light at the end of every dark tunnel. She's exactly who she is and that's just enough."
Penelope seems to be on the edge of her seat. Noah knows she must tell more, but she knows it will open the floodgates. All the questions she will be asked and the answers she will have to give. Everything she was able to hide from the family she found within the team will be revealed. Nothing more to hide.
"And she loves chess..." Noah trails off and peeks up at Penelope.
Suddenly, Penelope lets out a loud gasp, "It's Jess?!"
"Yep—"
"Chess Jess?!" Penelope squeals, "The blonde one in all the pictures you always show me? You're dating your best friend?!"
"I guess so," Noah shrugs with a small chuckle.
"You know, I knew there was a little something more than friends there," Penelope mentions as she points at Noah.
"You're saying that now that you know—"
"Oh, I saw all the times you blushed when talking about her and how you get all giggly whenever she texts you."
"I do not—" Noah tries to defend herself.
"Mini Prentiss, I'm no profiler, but I know some things."
The teen tuts and shakes her head with a smile. Penelope smiles to herself as well as her heart swells with joy for Noah. Above anything else, Penelope has always wished for the teen to be loved. Whether it be through friends, the team, or Emily — Penelope only ever had one wish. And Jess has fulfilled it more than Penelope, and even Noah, could ever know.
—
𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙥𝙧𝙚𝙣𝙩𝙞𝙨𝙨' 𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩𝙢𝙚𝙣𝙩
Emily stands outside Noah's door, quietly telling herself to knock. She is not sure what she will say, but she feels an urge to check on her.
Emily finds her courage and softly knocks on the teen's door, "Noah?"
"Yeah?" Noah asks, making Emily slowly open the door.
"You okay?" The mother asks as she finds Noah reading a book in bed.
"Yeah," Noah replies.
"I just wanna make sure," Emily says as she sits on the teen's bed, "I've been worried ever since the other night."
"I'm good," Noah says.
"You don't have to pretend, honey," Emily mentions, "You don't have to lie."
"What?" Noah asks, not sure where Emily's words are coming from.
"You don't have to lie to me," Emily repeats herself, "If you pretend to be okay, you won't be able to process what really happened. You'll never heal if you keep pretending."
"I don't know what this therapy talk is, but I'm okay," Noah says as she looks Emily straight in the eye.
"I just don't want you to feel like you have to pretend in front of me."
"Do you feel like I'm pretending?" Noah asks, "I don't lie to you."
That's not true, is what Emily wants to say. But she holds her tongue.
"I'm your mother, I just worry," Emily saves herself with a lie, doing the one thing she told her daughter not to.
"I'm alright," Noah nods, "It's just a lot to take in at once."
"I understand," Emily says with a small smile, "I'm always here if you wanna talk about it."
"Thanks," Noah replies with a smile as well.
I wonder if her smile is fake, Emily thinks to herself. She judges her daughter off the words she was never meant to read.
She looks like she's profiling me, Noah says to herself. As if she knows something and she knows the teen is hiding it from her.
"You wanna come read with me?" Emily sweetly offers.
"Only if Serg can come too," Noah says as she peers over at Sergio laying by her side.
"As long as he promises not to nudge my hand while I try to read," Emily giggles as she watches Noah hold her place in her book and pick Sergio up.
"He just wants attention," Noah beams and kisses Sergio's head, "C'mon, Serg, let's go bother Em."
Emily shakes her head and stands, leading the three of them to her bedroom. Noah takes her spot in Emily's bed and sits Sergio in-between her and her mother. They both open their books and sit in a comfortable silence, reading their individual stories.
Emily peers over at her daughter every now and then, wondering how she can look so beautifully peaceful, but have a tsunami of emotions crashing in her mind. She frowns to herself and turns back to her book, staring at the page. Noah looks over at her mother and squints a bit out of curiosity. She takes notice of Emily's still eyes and realizes she is not reading the page. Noah turns back to her book as well, finding herself not being able to read either.
What is she thinking? Both think in their minds as they avoid asking it out loud.