"I don't like oranges." My tone was hasted. With all this walking, and training at every break, my body was wearing down and I was growing tired.
Our Moon would soon start her rise, so Jerr and I were now looking for some shelter to spend the night. We also kept playing that mind game, which I was growing rather tired of.
"I do like oranges," Jerr answered. "I won again. You said a lie, a truth, and a lie again."
"Yes," I sighed. I'd grown used to hearing the words I won again, and the game had gotten repetitive.
"Although, I only got you this time because I've seen you eat oranges at breakfast multiple times," he continued. "Not because your mind was wandering. So I assume you've also earned a well done from me."
I raised my eyebrows at this statement. "I kept my thoughts in check?"
"Hmm," he mused. "Your mind has grown tired, too. It seems that does the trick as well. Now you have to figure out how to get your mind clear like that when you're not exhausted or training."
"You say that like it's easy," I commented.
Jerr shrugged his shoulders. "It isn't easy now, but it will be in a few days."
"I hope so," I said. "I'm growing tired of this game."
"One more round," he ordered. "And then we're done for the day."
He pushed a low-hanging branch out of the way and kept it in place until I'd passed under his arm. His scent swept over me at the nearness of him. Until that, I had kept my distance, not allowing myself to let anything distract me. Not that sunburned grin, that wicked smell, or even the warmth of his voice.
We hadn't walked next to each other for a few hours, now. Jerr altered his pacing to mine, seemingly enjoying my close company.
But with Jerr so close - and watching me intently - it would be that much harder to get away with a lie.
That was probably why he fell a step behind, I realized.
I waited for another stupid comment on his part, embarrassing me after this train of thought, but none came.
So, with the confidence that I might win this game, I said, "I'm not sure I like my tattoo anymore. It was a very impulsive decision, and I didn't think the design through."
I could feel Jerr's gaze intensifying on me, hinting at any sign that I was lying. But I kept my face forward, stoic, not giving him anything.
"I initially didn't want to switch packs."
While I hoped Jerr couldn't tell if mine was a truth or a lie, I surely couldn't tell with him. I wondered if it was a lie. Would that mean he thought I was telling the truth?
He had to know I still loved my tattoo. He'd seen me wonder at it a few times in the past days, he had to know.
"I once stole ales from Benjamin's bar, and got drunk when he wasn't looking."
"I was personally trained by Feytan as well."
"I met my mate in Spitta when I was twelve," I said, my voice trembling subtly. I took a shallow breath through my mouth, mustering the courage to get the next words out. It felt cold as it passed my lips. "He rejected me almost instantly."
"I got to say goodbye to my sister the day I left to come here." He tore his eyes off me as he stated, "I won again. A lie, a lie, and a truth."
"Three lies," was all I said.
"Well done," was all Jerr answered, accompanied by a shy, but genuine smile.
The silence after our last game had been a soft one. We had just left the forest's edge, our surroundings now consisting of different fields. We still made sure the forest was always near, should we need a place to run to and hide.
Some cows, sheep, and even a few goats were occupying the fields we walked by, most of them too busy grazing or sleeping, to give us the time of day. Some looked up curiously but sensed the danger that we were and kept their distance.
I was saddened by that fact when we walked past a pasture where some lambs were accompanying their mothers, and they scattered away at the mere sight of us. The thought of being so intimidating towards such innocent creatures, simply by existing, felt wrong to me. I wasn't the predator they thought I was. Although, I experienced it differently during my first run.
By the Moons, I longed to run again. Jerr had explained that I wasn't allowed to shift on enemy grounds, because I was still too vulnerable in my wolven form.
And while Aven had no way to check if I was obeying his orders, Jerr surprisingly seemed to agree with him.
But every meadow we passed, every different type of grass was one I wanted to feel beneath my bare paws. The high grass in the unused field, where crickets were already chirping. The short, grazed grass of the field next to it, where the cows were keeping it clean.
The moss on the sides of our little pathway. Or even the grainy pathway itself. Muddy, if it would rain. Slippery, but I was sure that as a wolf, I wouldn't fall. I would keep my balance as if it was the most natural thing in the world.
I kept dreaming about running wild and free, feeling the winds of the night in my fur. How different it would feel - even more intense, to run under our Moon. To howl at her, to honor her in the best way possible.
Jerr and I kept walking next to each other, the silence somehow filling the gaps between us. Our arms grazed each other every once in a while, prickling my skin at the place they touched. The chills of the evening and the night had fallen on us, and I longed for the warmth Jerr was blasting. But the intenseness of his nearby presence scared me somehow. I was wary of letting him get too close, but I couldn't help myself but keep walking next to him.
Until we saw a small shed nearby, the smell of fresh hay and straw circling near us. The promise of shelter and warmth teased us both. "You think that will do for tonight?"
"It will have to," he answered. "Let's just hope the other animals here didn't have the same idea. I don't want to share my bed with a goat."
"I don't think any farmer would be foolish enough to give their herds free access to the hay stash," I chuckled.
"That would sound like a terrible farmer," Jerr agreed, with a small laugh.
We made our way over to the small shed, thankful for a roof and some straw and hay we could turn into beds.
"We're almost out of bread," I noticed, opening our bags to take out our dinner.
"I'll hunt for lunch tomorrow," Jerr offered. "It's safer to cook meat with a fire during the day."
Hunting probably meant he would have to transform. "I'm assuming I won't be allowed to join in on the fun?"
Jerr shook his head as he took a bite of his dinner.
I merely sighed, munching on a bite of stale bread. That fresh meat tomorrow would do us good.
"So," Jerr said again after a short silence. "You haven't met your mate yet?"
"No," I confirmed. "I don't think finding my mate is in the cards for me."
"Why?" he asked. He sounded sincerely confused.
I raised my eyebrow as I explained, "How cruel would our Moons have to be, to mate me to someone from Death Moon? Or worse, someone from Fire Moon?"
"Ah," he exhaled. "So you think your mate is in another pack?"
"Probably," I said, shrugging my shoulders. "And then, even if I do find him, I'm not allowed to switch packs. So will I then have to live my entire life in this doom, knowing my mate, but not being able to be with him, to start a family, or even just a simple life together?"
"I guess that would be a cruel life," Jerr agreed.
"Yeah," I sighed. "My parents were lucky. They met when my mother moved to town. They always told me they instantly knew when they saw each other - and they loved each other deeply ever since."
"That sounds lovely," he said, a soft smile gracing his tired face.
"It is. It was. I always hoped I would find a love like that someday."
Jerr hunched his eyebrows. "Don't you think that kind of love is reserved for mates?"
"I don't think so," I pondered. "I think my parents would have loved each other like that either way. I think our Moon made them mates because she saw that, too."
"That's a beautiful way to look at it," he commented.
"What about you?" I asked, grabbing my flask of water.
"I'm still unmated," Jerr said, and I couldn't help but notice the subtle flutter my heart made. By the Moons, I cursed myself.
But as my eyes wandered over Jerr, who had stacked a few hay bales together to make his bed, he didn't seem to have noticed. Or he pretended he didn't, but that would be unlike him, that bloody Wise Moon.
"Do you think you'll meet her in Rahas?" I asked.
"Who knows," he shrugged. "But I think Aven would need to bring home some more new blood. I don't think a trueborn Death Moon is in the cards for me, either."
"Why would you think that?"
He shrugged his shoulders, his posture was lazily relaxed. "Wise Moon and Death Moon aren't exactly on the best terms either. It is rumored that Kavitvana and Sariranyasa always fought the most out of all the sisters, so it would seem unlikely they'd pair their descendants."
"Is that so?" I asked, a laugh escaping my lungs. "I've never heard anyone say that."
"Maybe it is only a tale that goes around in Wise Moon, excusing our terrible attitude towards Death Moon," he answered dramatically.
"Even so, they must have loved each other as well. They were sisters, after all."
"The love-hate relationship between siblings is one only someone with siblings can understand," he said.
The reminder of my loneliness stung a little, even if I knew he hadn't meant it in that way.
"Why didn't you say goodbye to your sister?" I asked.
Jerr's body stiffened at my question, subtly, as if he was trying to hide it. As soon as his biceps and jaw had clenched, they relaxed again, rebirthing his calm, relaxed stance, as he leaned back in his hay bed.
I did the same with mine, laying on my side, facing him. The hay provided enough warmth for us to be able to sleep separately, something I was glad for.
My body seemed to disagree, as a shiver crossed my spine at the touch of a slight, cold breeze of the night.
"Bad timing," he explained. "I left too early."
That answer didn't really clarify anything. But in the time I had gotten to know Jerr, I had learned he was very closed off. He barely ever shared anything about his past or his feelings. But he was always aware of those around him, experiencing whatever they felt, or thought.
I still took my chances with tonight. Sensing somehow, he would someday allow me to get closer to him. "Why did you leave, if you didn't want to switch packs?"
Jerr turned his head towards me, the green of his eyes was soft and striking. His mouth, carved with full lips of a reddish-brown color, was trying to move, but he didn't seem to find the words to answer my question.
I gave him an encouraging smile.
After pondering for a bit, he said, while looking back at the wooden ceiling, "It was the best option I had."
Every answer Jerr ever gave me about his past, only raised more questions. They were... wordy enough to satisfy as an answer, but not nearly deep enough to be seen as an explanation of any kind.
I wondered why he avoided that depth - if there was anyone he let see that side of him. I mostly saw him in Aven's presence, but Aven didn't seem like the type to be willing to listen to these stories.
Feytan and Jerr got along well, but I had never gotten the impression that they were friends. Their connection didn't go deep enough.
Would Amelia know anything about him? About who he was before he came to Rahas?
As my thoughts slipped away from me, my eyes followed what he did, peeping at the stars shining through the cracks in between the wooden planks. The sounds of crickets engulfed us, along with some other creatures of the night that were doing whatever they were doing. Hunting, scavenging for food, hiding. It all sounded like a beautiful symphony of the night.
The deep, soothing rhythm of Jerr's breathing soon added to that music. I looked over at him, his eyes closed as he had seemingly fallen asleep.
One last sigh escaped my lungs, before today's exhaustion caught up to me, and my eyes fluttered shut, allowing me to fall into the darkness of slumber.