"You're sure you want to do this?"
Ares' distinct voice reaches my ears and I look up at him, nodding.
We've been rehearsing for the past five days, having little time to prepare ourselves for the continuation of our tour.
"I am," I answer Ares and send him an encouraging smile, leaning up and pressing a kiss on his lips before I make my way to my dressing room.
Delilah is in there, and she sends me a little smile as soon as I enter. Things between us haven't gotten tensed or awkward when she confessed.
She didn't distance herself from me either, and though I needed some time to process everything and register all the things that have been said, I understand her pain.
One-sided love is a type of pain that nestles itself deep within your heart and makes you feel as though you can't breathe.
She's been struggling with that for three years, watching me suffer and pine for someone else.
It's not like we don't talk about her feelings for me or avoid it like a sore topic. It's like she's more accepting of it now and isn't afraid to express whatever she's thinking.
The ice has been broken between us and our friendship feels like how it was before again. Only now I'm aware of everything.
"How are you feeling?" she asks as soon as she starts to work on my face.
"Nervous," I sigh honestly, "very anxious. Sometimes I regret suggesting picking up our tour, but I realize that I need it. Otherwise, we all would've gone mad with nothing to do except to grief."
"You're right," she hums when she starts to apply concealer and foundation on my skin, "it feels nice to focus on work and distract myself a bit."
Caleb for sure feels a bit better now that he knows we're going to perform again. Drumming is one of his favorite things to do. And it takes a lot of energy to do so, so he's always exhausted after a show and can immediately head to bed and drift off.
Nick has been relieved, I could tell, and the presence of his girlfriend is soothing to him and takes away the raw pain coursing through him.
I still feel numb sometimes. I'm just glad for the distraction and hope it'll occupy enough time.
"We'll be fine," I tell Delilah, but I know that it's a lie spilled from my lips to make us feel better.
To make this day feel like it isn't hell.
"We will," Delilah lies as well and sends me a smile. Then, with sincerity, "Together."
"Together," I whisper, and let her finish her work on my face.
Delilah and I agreed on a natural makeup look. I don't want too much glam, and she does what I ask perfectly.
For my hair, I've decided to straighten it and let it fall over my back. It's pin-drop straight and shiny, not a hair out of place.
As the outfit for tonight, I've chosen some black, faux leather pants and a strapless, black top with a pair of vegan platform Doc Martins.
I'm still grieving, so I don't see the point of wearing flashy clothes with bright colors.
My world has been dark lately, so I'll dress like it, too.
I put a pearl necklace around my neck and put some rings on my fingers, before walking out of my dressing room and heading for the stage.
Nick is talking to his girlfriend, showing her around a bit backstage and letting her take a peek at the crowd.
I'm surprised to find out that the arena is filled. I'd figured people would lose interest in us now with Violet gone. I'd figured it'd be too soon to tour and find the arena not as full as usual.
I was wrong.
"You look beautiful," comes Ares' voice from beside me, and I blush at his compliment.
"I feel horrible," I chuckle humorlessly and Ares puts both his hands on my cheeks and tilts my head back.
"You'll rock it tonight, Butterfly," he tells me.
He's already wearing his earpiece and looks ready to get on stage. He'll be playing the guitar for the rest of the tour with us.
He's going to be playing two shows every two nights. One with us and one with Dopamine.
I was heavily against it at first, because I don't want him to exhaust himself too much and end up collapsing at some point because of everything.
But as stubborn as he is, he didn't give up and what made me ease up a bit is the fact that he'll be on stage with me.
His presence is calming and reassuring. To have that on stage with me would be comforting.
Kyle and Leah are going to watch from the sidelines. Kyle offered himself as well to play the guitar, but Ares was having none of it.
"We both will," I grin and dodge his lips when he wants to kiss me, so he ends up kissing my cheek instead.
"Lipstick," I chuckle and take a step back, feeling a bit uneasy at the fact that we have to get on stage soon.
I get the wires and earpiece in and fixed. Once everything is in place, we get ready to go on.
My knees feel weak as soon as I get on.
The screens in front of me are still closed, so no one can see me. Yet, as I stand there, I feel my heart picking up its pace and my breathing gets ragged.
You can do this, Elena.
It's like a soft wind caresses my hand and a soft circle is drawn on the back of it.
My imagination is running wild and I'm hallucinating things that aren't there just to calm myself down.
Caleb takes place behind the drums and Nick picks up his bass guitar.
Ares presses a kiss on top of my head before taking his own guitar and I go to stand ready to take the mic.
Resting right beside me on its stand is Violet's guitar.
Her acoustic one. I wanted it on stage with us, to honor her presence. She's still part of the group. Some part of her must be here as well.
The lights go out and the beginning of our song Wasted starts to play.
Ares knows every chord of every one of our songs, so he plays the guitar effortlessly and he looks hot when playing the guitar, for I'm so used to seeing him behind the drums.
The screens in front of us open up, and the crowd is revealed to me, as is my mic.
The blinding lights of the spotlight fall on me and I've never felt so exposed in my life as I am now. So vulnerable.
The screams of the crowd go up and up, nearly bursting my eardrums as soon as I walk further on the stage and arrive at the mic.
At first, I try not to pay anyone attention and focus on my sole task here. To sing.
I sing the first verses of our song and feel some sort of love return to my heart when I hear the screams of the fans echo in the air, accompanying my voice.
The more I sing, I feel the life returning a bit to my body and remember why I wanted to continue our tour.
Despite wanting the distraction, being on stage and feeling one with the crowd is a feeling I can't describe.
I take a step back from the mic when the song is done and take my time scanning the crowd.
All I see are the sad and hopeful eyes of our fans.
I see worry. Sadness. Hurt. Hope. Love.
My fingers play with my rings to distract myself as I stand there, taking in all the attention and stares.
Then, I notice the signs.
RIP VIOLET
VIOLET WILL NEVER BE FORGOTTEN
WE'LL BE ALRIGHT
WE LOVE YOU GUYS
THANK YOU FOR COMING BACK
WE'RE HERE FOR YOU AND WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU
"Good evening New York," I speak into the mic as soon as I've pushed back the tears. "Welcome to the Melancholy World Tour."
Madison Square is a dream to perform in. I love the energy it has and how many people have come out to see us.
I've looked so many times over my shoulders to Ares, who just gave me nods and looks of encouragement whenever I felt small.
The amount of smiles I've faked on stage goes beyond me.
I interact with the crowd and only pick out the signs addressing things other than Vi's death.
The next song on the setlist is Life.
A song that was written by Violet and me.
Violet would come up to me on stage and we'd stand together at the mic, singing into it while she plays the guitar.
The fans loved the song.
But now, as I'm holding Violet's guitar in my hands and am facing an arena expecting me to do this without breaking down, I don't think I can.
The spotlight is on me, nearly blinding me in the face and I feel so alone.
My fingers shake when I adjust the guitar and grip it more tightly.
As soon as I play the first few chords, the crowd cheers me on.
"You can do it!" someone in the front row screams at me.
But my throat thickens and my face feels heavy with emotion.
Violet isn't here anymore. She's not here to sing it with me.
All I do is take a step back from the mic and look behind me at the band, shaking my head.
I'm about to put Violet's guitar back down and motion to begin the next song when I'm stopped because I hear something.
The crowd singing the lyrics.
Clenching my jaw together, I look back at the fans and hear their voices acapella, singing the song Life.
My fingers find the strings of the guitar and I start playing the song, the acoustic chords coming out of the speakers.
Right there, I throw my head back and a tear rolls over my cheek.
"It's okay Ella!" someone screams, "You're going to be okay!"
My shoulders shake with a sob, but I continue to play the guitar until the song ends and the crowd finishes singing the song.
"Thank you," I whisper into the mic and smile through my tears, blowing them all a kiss before putting Vi's guitar back.
The night goes by in a blur, and before I know, it, we're saying goodbye again.
I'm fast at getting off stage and heading into my dressing room to take everything off. I take a shower at the arena itself and wash everything away.
"Better than expected," Caleb says as soon as we're in the SUV, "I expected you to have at least three mental breakdowns on stage."
At that, I laugh and playfully hit him on the head. "I'm surprised you didn't start crying behind the drums. You looked miserable."
"Not as miserable as Nick," he snorts, "fucker looked like he was about to cry out for Leah."
"Hey!" Nick defends himself and Leah wraps a protective arm around him while chuckling.
"You're not wrong, Caleb," she grins and presses a kiss on Nick's cheek.
Nick visibly relaxes in her hold and sends her a soft smile.
"I love you," he whispers while looking into her eyes. "I love you, too," she grins and presses a kiss on his lips.
My heart yearns to be able to tell those same words to Ares. Who just looks away from the couple sitting opposite us and stares out of the window.
I avert my eyes as well and cross my arms, needing my bed right now to fall asleep on.
As soon as we arrive at the hotel and get out of the car, Ares takes my hand.
"Sleep with me tonight?" he asks, rubbing his thumb across my knuckles. Some of the tension eases away from my shoulders.
"I'd like that," I grin and he smiles back. Together, we head to his room where he gives me his shirt and puts a pair of sweatpants on himself.
I'm pleased to see he decided to go shirtless, so I can admire his tattoos.
I'm on Twitter, talking to a few fans and retweeting some things when there's a knock on the door.
With a frown, I look up and see Ares opening the door and accepting a tray from one of the workers.
"What did you order?" I ask and am excited to see a cup of tea and some brownies.
"When did you order this?" I chuckle and accept the cup of tea Ares is offering me.
"You were in the bathroom. Ordered this just in case you didn't eat enough today," he clarifies and goes to sit beside me.
I happily enjoy the tea. It soothes me and the warmth of it calms me down. Now, the brownie is just comforting and tastes amazing.
"Thank you for this," I whisper and lean into him.
"Of course, baby," Ares murmurs and wraps his arm around me.
He turns his head and starts planting kisses on my forehead, then trails down to my cheek.
"You've been so strong," he hums against my skin and hovers over my lips, planting soft kisses on them.
"You've been so good, baby," he continues in between kisses.
I respond to them, lifting my hand and grasping his jaw as I kiss him back. My mind takes me to all the intimate moments between Ares and I.
I find myself craving them. To have that same feeling and to experience his warmth again.
I crave him.
Ares lays me down on his bed and comes to hover above me, keeping our lips connected. I part my lips and moan softly when he sucks on my bottom lip and caresses it with his tongue.
I shiver when his hands land on the bare skin of my legs, sliding it up to my thighs and then to my hips, bunching up the shirt I'm wearing.
My breathing grows heavier when he gets between my legs. One of his hands is cupping my cheek as he kisses me and the other one wraps itself around my thigh.
"Let me make you feel good," he whispers against my lips, entering his tongue inside my mouth and licking mine.
I whimper and kiss him with equal fervor, desperate for his touch.
"Yes," I moan into his kiss and lift my hips, trying to get some friction. But all Ares does is lean away.
"Ares..." I protest but shut up when he pulls the shirt over my head, which leaves me in only my panties.
He hooks his long fingers around my panties and pulls them down my legs, exposing me completely to him.
I inhale in anticipation and writhe on the bed when he lowers himself between my legs and wraps both his arms around my thighs.
His lips land on my thighs, planting kisses everywhere until he arrives at my inner thighs, nearing the place where I'm craving him the most.
My hips raise themselves when he presses his mouth right beside my sex, near my inner thigh.
Ares puts pressure on my thighs, keeping my lower body down when he finally runs his tongue down my slit.
My fingers find their way to his soft strands and I tug on them, feeling the pleasure course through me at the sensation.
He slants his mouth over my pussy, keeping my thighs apart as he devours me. His tongue flicks over my clit multiple times and he sucks on it.
"Ares..." I whimper and tug on his hair, throwing my head back. My thighs are clamped around his neck and his fingers are digging into my skin.
"Taste so good," he murmurs against me. The vibrations settle in my stomach and heighten the pleasure I'm feeling.
His tongue probes against my entrance, and he slowly thrusts it inside of me before withdrawing and repeating the same action.
One of his hands lets go of my thigh and he spreads my legs wide open, trailing his fingers to my pussy and thrusting two fingers inside of me while his tongue settles on my clit.
His thrusts are slow and lazy. His fingers curl inside of me, stroking my walls and his tongue is drawing circles around my clit.
My eyes are rolling into the back of their sockets as his name repeatedly falls from my lips, along with pleads.
"Oh," I moan when he fastens his pace. His fingers are knuckles deep inside of me, moving faster and faster. His lips close around my clit and the gentle sucks make me light-headed.
He doesn't stop sucking, bringing tears to my eyes because I'm feeling myself nearing the edge.
But right when I think I'm about to reach my climax, Ares pulls away and licks his lips when he gazes up at me.
There's a pout on my face and I'm pretty sure I'm flushed and a bit sweaty.
"Why..." I begin, but quickly shut up when he palms his erection through the sweats he's wearing.
My pussy throbs painfully at the sight and a quiet gasp leaves me as I see him bring his sweatpants lower, exposing his hard length.
As soon as his sweatpants are thrown somewhere in the room, he grips his erection and brings it to my throbbing sex.
My legs tremble when the tip goes through my soaked lower lips and settle at my entrance. "I'll take care of you, Butterfly," he whispers and sinks inside of me in one go.
My back arches off the bed at the feeling of being filled. It's been a while since he's been inside of me, and it feels incredible.
He plants both his forearms next to my head when he looms over me. Our faces are inches apart, his lips ghosting over mine.
"Feel good, baby?" he smirks down at me and starts to thrust inside of me.
"So good," I moan and welcome him between my spread legs.
"You're so wet, baby," he groans, "soaked my fingers all the way to my knuckles. So soft and ready for me."
My fingers are clamped to his back, my nails digging into his skin and probably leaving marks.
Our bodies are molded together. My breasts are pressed against his chest and my legs wrap themselves around his hips.
His cock fills me up time and time again, quickly hitting that important spot inside of me that makes me see the stars.
"You're such a good girl, Elena," Ares whispers, "You've been so good the past few weeks. I'm proud of you, baby."
Ares isn't roughly pounding into me as he usually does. His pace is steady, but a bit slower and gentle.
He drops his head down and kisses me deeply, groaning into my mouth.
The wet sound of his dick entering my pussy resounds in his room, accompanied by our ragged breathing and sounds of pleasure.
There's a thin layer of sweat covering both our bodies.
At some point, Ares takes both my hands from his back and holds them above my head, his one hand gripping both my wrists and holding them there.
His other hand lands on my stomach and he presses down when he picks up the pace a little bit.
Goosebumps raise all over my skin at the feeling and euphoria taking a hold of me. Moans are freely falling from my lips as well as his name.
He doesn't stop fucking me, hitting the sensitive spot inside of me over and over again until my legs are trembling and my whole body is in the throes of ecstasy.
I come all over his length, squeezing the fuck out of him. His deep moan pushes me further into the abyss and makes it last longer.
I don't know for how much longer Ares fucks me as I'm orgasming, but it doesn't feel like long after me when he groans my name and spills his cum inside of me.
Ares pulls out of me, making me wince but he soon presses kisses all over my face to soothe me.
"Come on, asteráki, let's get you cleaned up."
. . .
Sad sex is a thing, apparently.
There's not much to tell.
A girl isn't thriving rn, but I'll get through it.
Sorry if there are any grammar/spelling mistakes.
Hope you enjoyed this chapter and thank you so much for reading.
I love you.