AUTHORS NOTE:
Feel free to imagine any of these characters as you wish, but I'll share who I envision for each character I've created. Avery Michaels is Joey King
Sam is James Bay
Ace is Rudy Pankow
And of course Harry Styles, in a darker, more troubled kind of way. I think it's going to be good though.
Harry-
September 2022 NYC
I'm in New York City in the midst of a multi engagement residency at Madison Square Garden. I feel like I've reached a new height in my music career. I've somehow managed to persuade venues to allow me to do multiple shows at one venue in key cities where my fans will come to me from all over the United States and even other countries.
It made the most sense for me both for my mental and physical health. Touring for this third album has been extensive. I'm on top of my game and I don't know how I'll top this moment in time.
I'm grateful. Exhausted currently, but grateful. The last couple of years have been a whirlwind. New record, new tour, two new movies being released, a line with Gucci, and that's just what I can think of off the top of my head. Next year is already being semi planned out as well. I like to stay busy.
Jeff is my manager but he's also like a brother. He is someone I trust in every way. He walks into my dressing room this afternoon as I'm relaxing for a bit before getting ready for the show tonight.
"So someone sent me a clip of something from today that was shown on GMA and I think it's something that might catch your eye. " Jeff announced as he makes himself at home in my dressing room.
"What is it?" I ask.
"You'll see."
Jeff pulls out his phone and cues the clip. It's an interview with author Nicholas Sparks who's talking about his newest book. What catches my attention is when I hear my name brought up.
"Wait. Rewind that." I tell Jeff.
Jeff rewinds the clip and Nicholas is asked who should play the character if the book is made into a film. He named me.
"What do you think? Any interest at all H?" Jeff asks.
"Get me a copy of the book to read. " I reply to Jeff.
I'm not sure when I'll have time to read it, but I'll make time. I've always liked Nicholas Sparks work. The Notebook is one of my favorites. This has peaked my interest for sure.
*2 weeks later
"What did you think?" Jeff asks me casually one day as he spots the book on top of my duffel bag.
"I liked the story. I really liked it. A North Carolina farmer who wanted to be a musician could be fun. At least I know I'll have half of it down without an issue." I laugh.
God could I do a southern accent? Can I make this work? It would be a challenge, and I like challenges.
"Why don't you see if Nicholas wants to come to a show? Where does he live? " I ask.
"I'll find out. He lives in the south I think. I'll see if we can make something work. Sounds like you are interested."
"I think I am. I've always wanted to do a Sparks movie. It would be good right? A good career move?"
"You've done the critically acclaimed roles, this would be mainstream rom-com territory but I think your fanbase would make it a massive hit."
"Yea, let's talk to him. See what he sees for the film. See if we could make the scheduling work."
Colby Mills. I can do it. I wonder who could play Morgan. Whoever it is I know I'm not getting involved with any kind of off screen set romance. Been there done that, not doing that again. Probably not the smartest idea to start a relationship with your married director like I did on one of my last sets. That was then. I'm not going there again.
**
It's the final night of my Madison Square Garden residency and it's going to be a special night. I've got lots of friends coming and I must admit, it's been amazing being here for this long. I've been able to sleep in my own bed, or at least one of my own beds, in my Tribeca apartment. Jeff has informed me that Nicholas Sparks will be coming to the show also. Seems he's in town for press for the new book and he's coming to meet with me before the show.
I make sure to arrive to the venue a little earlier than usual and take it all in one last time. I jog the stairs and get a good workout in which always helps keep me focused. A quick jump in the shower and I've got a bit of free time before Lambert arrives with stage clothes for me to get ready for the show.
Five minutes out of the shower and there's a knock on the door. Jeff comes in with a gentleman I am introduced to as Nicholas Sparks. He's mild mannered and easy going. It's our first time meeting and the conversation comes easy. I tell him how much I love the Notebook and the fond memories I have of it being one of my favorite movies.
He tells me how that book changed his life and how he gets to live out his dream thanks to that book and the movie. He's impressed that I've read the new book Dreamland. He tells me how when he wrote about Colby he could see me as being Colby and how he'd like to adapt this book into a film. We spend very little time talking about that though, we just talk about life and music and each of our backgrounds.
He asks one question that's really stuck with me long after he's left my dressing room. He asked me if my career as a singer was my dream career. Immediately I answered of course and I express my gratitude for this dream job and life that I get to live. He then asked me to imagine that dream being ripped away because I had to choose another path, out of family responsibility. A path I wouldn't have chosen otherwise. How would that make me feel he asked. I've been thinking long and hard about that one since he left.
He told me that when I had the answer to that question to call him. And that was it. There was no deal reached. There was no role offered. Weirdest thing ever really. I came out of it not really knowing if he wanted me for the role of Colby Mills after all.
It's crazy because it's been an emotional night. It was always my dream to play at Madison Square Garden when we started out as a band, I got to do that with them. Then I wanted to do it on my own and I have, multiple times now. I just finished a 15 night residency where they surprised me with a permanent banner that will hang there. I cried. Now here I am at 3 am lying in bed asking myself what would I do if it was all stripped away and I didn't get to live this dream, my dream.
It is then in that 3 am hour that I reach for my phone and compose this email.
Sender: H.E.Styles@gmail.com
To: NSparksauthor@gmail.com
Nicholas,
It's 3:16 am and I'm lying in bed here in New York City. It's been an incredible and emotional day and I'm feeling what I call that post concert rush. When I was a kid starting out in this business, playing that venue and selling it out was a dream of mine. It would be the ultimate "you made it kid" moment for me and I've been fortunate to have done it now 23 times.
From that very first time until tonight it's been my dream and it never gets old. You asked me what if I had to give up my dream for another path in life and how I would feel. The truth is, I'd always do whatever I had to do in my life for my family. They'd never ask me to give up my dream and I know it would have to be a choice I'd had to make on my own. It would have changed my life. I wonder who I'd be, what I'd be. I know when I was a kid I dreamed of going to law school and being a lawyer and looking back now, it feels like a whole different world.
I imagine there are lots of people who give up their dreams for others every single day. I'll bet some never complain about it, but I guarantee it haunts them every day. Giving up who you are or who you want to be is selfless, and it would change who you are as a person.
In the end we all do what we have to do to get by, but it's an interesting thought to think of how different a version of Harry Styles I'd be. I don't think I'd even want a taste of what the dream would be like to live if I couldn't live it. I'd rather blindly go thru life without knowing. Colby Mills must be one hell of a man to give up the dream I'm not sure Harry Styles could have given up. I could only hope to be selfless like Colby.
Things we think about at nearly 4 am. Anyways, it was a pleasure meeting you and I hope you enjoyed the show. Good luck on your mission to give Colby a voice. I'd love for it to be mine.
Sincerely,
Harry Styles
**Avery Michaels
Today was going to be an amazing day. Today I get to meet one of my idols. Is it weird for people to have authors as idols? I don't care if it is, Nicholas Sparks is my idol.
I'm a book nerd. The ultimate book nerd. I'm such a book nerd that when my original dream crashed like a house of cards around me I had a plan b. What's plan b for book nerds? Owning a book store. It's nothing big, nothing elaborate, but it's all mine. An independent book store that won a lottery to have Nicholas Sparks come in for a author visit and book signing. I don't know how I got so lucky, but I'm thankful I did. It's one of the only times luck has been on my side in life.
Singing was my first love. I wanted to be a singer more than anything when I was younger. I didn't realize how it's mostly luck and less to do with talent to make it. Add into the mix of how painfully shy I was to sing in big crowds and it was doomed from the start. So I went with plan b and I opened my own bookstore.
It's called Nevermore Books and it's located near the coast of North Carolina. I always knew I wanted to live by the sea, so I made that dream a reality. One of the only dreams I saw all the way thru. I'm originally from western North Carolina in a mountain town but I moved east to the coast when I saved enough money from various jobs and gigs I played back home.
I worked in a coffee shop and on weekends I was in a band with my boyfriend. Ex boyfriend. Sam. That's his name. He's in Nashville now and he's in a different band now and he's on tour. I'm glad his dreams are coming true. When we were in love we thought we could have it all. We were going to be the next big thing. I'd write the words, he'd write the music and play it and we'd sing it together. It was a crazy dream. It was a lifetime ago it feels like.
Sam has a new girlfriend who goes to all of his gigs and is his biggest cheerleader. He doesn't have to share the spotlight with her and I think that's what works for them. She's all he ever wanted apparently. He grew tired of my anxiety of performing when the crowds were getting bigger and one day he just left. That was the end of my dream and the end of us.
So I moved here and I now own a bookstore. I got scared and I settled. Fear probably ruins most dreams for people. I know I'll always regret it, but it's my life now and I can't live in the past or change anything, so I should be thankful for what I do have right?
I've read all of Mr. Sparks books. The Notebook is probably my favorite. Could be because I love Ryan Gosling a little bit too. His new book has a character that gave up his musical dream to run his family farm out of duty. I can relate even though what I did wasn't out of duty. It was just my plan b. Morgan Lee is the female character in the book and I can't really relate to her at all. I relate to Colby more than anyone I think.
I'm not sure how many people will show up for the book signing but it would be great to have the extra business.
I'm here early and it surprised me when the bell chimed as someone walked in the door I accidentally left open.
"I'm sorry we're not quite op-" I stopped mid sentence when my eyes came face to face with Nicholas Sparks.
"Oh my gosh I'm so sorry. Mr. Sparks please come in. It's such an honor to meet you. Thank you for coming."
I'm cringing in my own head at how much of an idiot I am. He smiles graciously and shakes my hand and asks me to take him on a tour of my place. Of course I take him to the section where I stock his books and I start to ramble about each one. He's being so nice and gracious hearing me ramble and he's even playing along by expressing interest in how I see the different books.
He asks me about Dreamland and if I've had a chance to read it yet. I tell him I could relate to the book in some ways. He wanted to know how. He seemed surprised when I said I could relate to Colby. I told him about my dream and how my dream packed up everything it owned and left with the 6'1 brown haired ex boyfriend named Sam who is now living in Nashville and on tour with his new band that didn't include me.
"Miss Michaels what does it feel like to give up your dream?" Nicholas surprises me with this question.
"It's like having regret show up every night unannounced for dinner." I reply quickly.
"Regret as an unwanted dinner guest? Explain that." He laughs.
"Hmmm say spaghetti is your favorite meal- and you make good spaghetti. There's nothing wrong with it. You're satisfied with it. Then regret shows up at your door when it's dinner time and being courteous you invite them to stay for dinner since it's so close to dinner time. All you want is to sit down and enjoy your satisfactory dinner, but then regret talks non stop about how it's just average at best. It reminds you of how you settled. You didn't try to improve your recipe or make it better in any way- you just settled. Regret shows up every night to remind you of that. That's what giving up your dream feels like to me."
I'm surprised there are tears in my eyes when I finish that thought.
Mr. Sparks just listens and watches me, not saying much. I think I weirded him out. He just watched and listened to me the rest of the morning.
We had an amazing turnout and he graciously signed every single copy that I sold and he posed for pictures with fans and I was surprised when he invited me to dinner after I closed. I thought he was being nice. Kinda like inviting an unannounced visitor for dinner when they show up at dinner time.
We end up walking a few doors down to the local bar and grill and take a booth near the back. He asks me my thoughts on Morgan, if I have social media ( I don't ) and how I feel about it. Curiously he asks me if I have any acting experience (none at all) and if I think a person needs a ton of it if they can relate heart, body and soul with the character.
We talk about living in North Carolina and how life in the south can feel like a whole different universe. He asks if I grew up with money (I didn't at all) and if I'd ever been to Chicago ( I haven't).
After two hours he asks me the strangest question of all. He asks me if he could give me a few pages of dialogue from the book to come in and read one day soon. I tell him it wouldn't be an issue at all because I know this story front and back.
"Miss Michaels it has been an absolute pleasure meeting you and I'll have those papers sent over within a few weeks or so. Don't give up on me if it takes a little bit. I really want you to come in and read it for me with myself and my friend Cameron. We may ask you to sing as well. Would that be ok?" Nicholas asks.
"I can do it. I'll have to pick a song. Anything in particular?" I ask.
"Something that makes you feel something. Like really feel something. " he explains.
"I can do it. Can I ask one last thing?" I say as I'm standing to leave.
"Sure"
"What's this about exactly? I'm confused."
"It's about making a movie and if my hunch is right I wanna put you in it. I want you as Morgan Lee. "
I don't know what to say. A movie? Me? I'm not an actress. Morgan isn't even southern. He's heard my accent. How do I change that? He's been so kind to me, I know I'll indulge him and do this for him. There's absolutely zero chance he's gonna cast me in a movie though.
* outside POV
Nicholas smiles as he watched Avery Michaels walk away. He has a feeling about this. He removes his cell phone from his pocket and dials the number of his friend.
"I found her. At least I think I've found her. Put together something for her to read and screen test with. No, no worries, I'll take care of contacting him. The role is his if he wants it. I'll get with his manager and the studio and work on terms and fees and stuff. I know it's risky casting an unknown with someone like him, but I think it's gonna work. I feel like this could be big. I'll be in touch."
**welcome to Making Dreamland! I came up with the idea of this story when I saw the above referenced interview that Nicholas Sparks did with GMA in which he said he wanted Harry Styles to play the lead character Colby. I was in the middle of reading the book and thought wouldn't it be cool to make a story about Harry making this movie and all that goes along with it. Settle in and make yourself comfortable as you go on this adventure with me. Enjoy the story and vote if you like it💙