Author's POV:
Post lunch, the family was sitting at the verandah playing games. It was a family lunch. Minal's and Mahaa's husbands too came for the lunch. And Maheem was the apple of eye for everyone. Actually the boys were playing football and the girls were cheering for them. The game period was finally over and now the boys covered with sweat sat around their parents on the mat. The elderly couple was sitting on the single sofa and a mat was spread on the ground.
The girls went out to bring some refreshments for the tired boys. Noor was pouring the juice into the glasses when she heard the sound of soft giggles. She looked at the front to find the most beautiful sight. Shaharyar was laughing and enjoying with his brothers. This is all she always wanted for him. To be happy with his family. Because they were too sweet to be away from.
Noor thought that may be this was the last time she was seeing him, because after that she would make sure she didn't. Because she knew looking at the person again and again who you know can't be yours is just tearing the wound apart. So she wanted to capture him forever in her mind, make as much memories as she can to hold on for life.
Baahon mein teri aake laga
Mera safar toh yahin tan hain
Tumse shuru tumpe hi khatam
Meri kahaani tumhi tak hain
Noor was just seventeen when she started feeling for Shaharyar. At first, she thought it to be a simple crush which would be gone after sometime. But it didn't. She started growing more attached to him, his habits, his nature, everything.
Dil ko jo de rahat si
Tujhme hai woh khamoshi
Sau baar taalash liya khudko
Kuch tere siva na mila mujhko
Saanson se rishta tod bhi kun
Tumse tod na paungi...hmm..
Noor didn't want to start or end her day without having a look of him. She started defending him in the matters. She started to care like she never did. After her father's death, she thought that maybe now she wouldn't have such feelings towards him.
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Iss chahat mein mar jaungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
But no! She used to feel peace looking at him. The girl who hated cooking, tried learning cooking because he loved food, he loved eating. She studied more than required so as to teach him, so he could do good in his exams. Noor didn't feel good about this. She started to overwork, over study, do everything past the time to keep his thoughts at bay, but it didn't work. His family was always sweet. She wanted that family to be hers too.
Aankhen khule toh main dekhun tujhe
Sirf yahin farmaish hain
Pehle to mujhko yaad nahin
Tu meri aakhri khwahish hain
She never to confess or something but yes she had her own set of dreams. Which she hoped to become a reality someday. But the hope came crashing down with the news of his marriage. She had her share of heartbreak and it still beat and skipped for him, it still hurted for him.
Seh loon main ab teri Jami
Mujhse yeh hoga hi nahin
Tum aise mujh mein shaamil hon
Tum jaan meri tumhi dil ho
Shayad main bhula doon khudko bhi
Par tumko bhul na paungi.. Hoo..
Noor never blamed him for her feelings. She couldn't. She was solely responsible for her feelings. But whatever may she say. It hurt. It did hurt. May be a little. Or like a tornado. She didn't knew. She just knew that his habits were etched on her mind for now and ever. How his coffee with extra milk and less sugar is enough to start his day, how he waved a hand through his hair and bite his lips when in frustration, how he loved blue color how ever he pretended to love black, how he was so punctual about every other thing in his life, how he wanted everything to be perfect, just perfect, how he smelled of cedarwood, how he loved the knot of his tie to be right, neither too tight nor too small, how keeping his shoes clean was his prime intention, how he loved the pancakes she made and the noodles that Saad made but always pretended to hate them, how he loved his family but always kept a distance.
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
Iss chahat mein mar jaungi
Main phir bhi tumko chahungi
##
"Noor.." Minal screamed.
Noor looked shocked at Minal. Others too were shocked.
"Yeh chhot kaisi lagi tujhe.." She said pointing at her bruised arm. Noor had lifted her sleeve to hold the box when the bruise came to view.
"Arey.. Pata nahin Appi.. Kahin lag gayi hogi.." she answered casually.
"Kahin lag gayi hongi.. Chhoti bacchi hain tu. Tu khud doctor hain aur issko nazar andaaz kar rahi hain.." Mahaa started scolding like the elder sister she was.
"Appi..."
"Idhar aaa aur beth.."Mahaa ordered. Minal bought the first aid kit.
"Appi main.." Both the sisters looked at her with a sharp gaze.
"Aati hoon.." Noor answered softly.
She sat on the bed and Minal did the dressing flinching herself while Noor was all fine. Noor smiled looking at the sisters.
##
"Bhai, kyun na aaj aapke haath ka khana ho jaye.."
Shaharyar looked at him baffled.
"Kya hua, ese kya dekh rahe ho, khane banane ko bola hain.. Jung ladne ko thodi.. "
"Nahin woh.. Woh bohat din hogaye na itne saare logon ke liye khaana banaye.. Issliye thoda.."
"Ab jo bhi ho, khaana to tu hi banaega aaj.. Haina Appi.." Minal said.
"Bilkul, samajh le ye teri punishment hain.." Mahaa answered.
"Accha thik hain.. Chal main teri madad karti hoon.." Shaharyar's mother stood up.
"Arre Ammi, aap bethe na.. Woh bana lega.."
"Par woh keh raha hain na, main bas thodi madad kar dungi.."
"Humein pata hain aapki thodi madad kitni hogi.." Mahaa said.
"Aur Noor hain na.. Woh madad kar degi bhai ki.. Aakhir woh beti hain iss char ki.. Kyun Ammi?"
"Arre Noor kyun.. Yeh Shaharyar ki punishment hain.." Shaharyar's father said.
"Dekhe agar main banaunga, toh mujhe ek helper chahiye. Noor bhi help karegi.."
"Arre... "
"Bas.. Thik hain.. Maami aap bethe.. Main madad kar dungi inki.." Noor shouted making all quiet.
"Ab chale.." Noor said to Shaharyar.
"Kahan??" Shaharyar asked.
Noor sighed irritated, "Khet main.."
He looked at her surprised.
"Kitchen main aur kahan.."
He nodded hurriedly and stood up and ran behind her. All the others chuckled looking at them.
##
Shaharyar was frying pakoras in the pan. He was too focused on it to look around.
"Aah.. " Noor winced.
He looked at her in an instant.
"Kya hua?"
"Nahin, kuch nahin, woh tel..." She mumbled and then shook her head in a no.
"Yeh lo.." She forwarded him a bowl of pakora batter. He looked at it in disbelief. Noor was making the batter when oil splatters fell on her hand. Focusing on that she gave too much water in the batter.
"Yeh kya hain.. Kya karun main iska?" He asked dipping in his hand in the besan batter which contained more water than besan. Noor bite her tongue.
"Pakdo isse.." He furrowed his eyebrows. She took it immediately.
"Main aati hoon.." Noor said and started to leave when she stepped on his foot.
"Aaooo...."
"Sorry...so..sorryyy soryy.."
"Yaar... Kya hain?"
"Tum thik ho na?"
He took a deep breath and looked at her.
"Haan, main theek hun.. Tum yeh lo. Onions inhe kato.."
"Okay.."
"Aur suno.."
"Haan.."
"Udhar jao, uss side pe.. Dur..Okay.. Please.."
She huffed and went to the corner. She came to him after some time with the chopped onions.
"Yeh lo.."
"Haan do.. " He said without looking and took the plate. As he was about to put the onions unto the pot...
"Yeh kya hain??"
"Onions?"
"Haha.. Main hasu.. Itne bade bade se kyun kate hain.."
"Are kya farak padta hain.. Baad mein iss ko fry hi hona hain na.." Noor answered.
"Farak padta hain.. Chote hone se dikhne main kitne acche lagte hain.."
Noor looked at him in disbelief.
"Inhe khaane hain, niharne nahin hain."
"Pata hain mujhe, phir bhi.."
He started chopping them again.
"Ab.. Ab main kya karun?"
"Tum... Haann.. Tum yeh sabziyan kato.. Dur jake.."
"Haan haan jaa rahi hun.. Nahin aungi aapke paas.."
She again went to the other corner to cut the veggies. Some moments passed. He looked at her after some minutes. His eyes widened. He went to her.
"Noor yaar, sabzi kat ke banani hain, jung nahin ladni.. Yeh kya kar rahin hon.."
"Woh yeh kaise katte hain?" She asked in a cute babyish voice. He looked at her for a moment and couldn't help but chuckle.
"Pehle puch lene tha na bhul gayi to.."
He showed her the way to cut the veggies an again went back to his work.
"Aah.." He again looked at her in an instant.
"Kya hua ab?"
"Jal raha hain.. Ahh.. Please please."
He took her to the washbasin and splashed water on her face and made her wash her hands.
"Noor, I am sorry."
"Kis liye?"
"Iss liye ke maine tumse help mangli.. Tum please please ek kone pe jake kadhi ho jaun.. Ye jaise tum kaam kar rahi hon na, mujhe anxiety ho rahi hain. Please go.."
"Par main madad.."
"Nahin.. Jarrorat nahin hain.. Tum toh pehle khana banati thi hain.. Mana ki ek dam first class nahin banati par phir bhi accha hota tha.. Phir aaj kya hua hain?"
She looked at him shocked.
"Kya.. Aise kya dekh rahi hon?"
"Aap.. Aapne mere khane ki taarif ki?"
He widened his eyes in the realization.
"Haan... Haan... Mat..matlab thik hain na.. Thik hi banati thi tum.."
"Par abhi aapne bola ki main accha banati thi.." She asked again.
"Haan accha hi tha.."
"Par uss time pe to aapko kabhi accha nahin laga, yaad hain kitna chidate the aap mujhe.."
"Wohh.."
"Wohh.. Wohh.. Kya haan?? Kitna mazak udaya apne mere khane ka.."
"Haan toh woh pehle ki baat thi.. Abhi mujhe khana banane do.."
"Main madad...."
"Nahin.. Tum bas beth jao ek jagah, wahin bohat badi help ho jayegi.. Mujhe lag raha hain ab nahin toh tab tum apni ungli kaat logi, hath jala logi, khudko chhot pohucha logi.. Issliye please, mujhe chain se khana banane do, taki log kha paaye, hmm??"
She nodded lightly and sat on the corner stool and continued looking at him. She always admired the way he cooked, keeping the kitchen clean, with all the veggies chopped in proper order, and the garnishing on point everytime.
Here, outside the kitchen, the siblings had a great laugh looking at the duo cooking together by peeking through the window.
****
"Ab yeh baataye ki aap ek businessman kaise ban gaye, kyunki jahan tak mujhe pata tha, you wanted to be the Chef Shaharyar Munwar Khan, phir the rude businessman SMK kaise ban gaye?"
"Aisa kuch nahin tha.. Mujhe bas khana banana pasand tha.."
"Sirf pasand nahin, woh aapka passion tha. Aaj bhi jab aap khana banate hain, toh cooking ke liye apka pyaar dikhta hain, jitne dhyaan se aap har kaam karte hain, chahe woh chopping ho ya masala bundhna, kitchen ko saaf rakhna ho ya bariki se garnishing karna.."
"Noor, maine phir kabhi itna socha hi nahin iss baare mein.."
"Main bas itna kehna chahti hoon ki ho sakta aap use as a whole continue na kar sake, par as a hobby, use zaroor continue kariye, kyunki humare hobbies hi humari boring si din ko thoda accha banate hain, humein andar se zinda rakhti hain.."
There was silence for sometime as they sat gazing at the stars.
"Aap..aap se ek baat puchun?"
"Bilkul Noor, tumhe meri permission kabse leni padi.."
"Aap.. Aap ki ... Aap ki.. aap..."
"Meri??"
"Aap ki.. Aap ki wife... Woh kahan hain?"
Shaharyar choked on his saliva and coughed hard. Noor rubbed his back calming him down..
"Meri kaun?"
"Wife.. Aapki biwi.."
"Mujhe english samajh aati hain Noor. Mera nikah kab hua jo meri biwi hogi?"
Now it was Noor's turn to get shock and that too a huge one.
"Kya..."
"Haan.."
"Aap majaak kar rahe hain?"
"Majak toh tum kar rahi hon aur woh bhi bahut behuda.."
"Matlab main jab gayi thi.. Tab toh aapki engagement huyi thi, right? Aur phir teen mahine baad aapki shaadi thi?"
"Haan, hui thi engagement par..."
"Par.."
"Tut gayi.."
"Kya??"
"Haan.. Yaar tum aur Maami baat nahin karte ho kya.. Woh tumko kuch nahin batati kya?? Humara rishta tut gaya tha? Nahin hui koi shaadi.."
"Par kyun.."
"Because it didn't feel right Noor, it felt something was missing, kuch toh tha jo nahi tha humare bich. Aur baad mein pata chala ki woh bhi kisi aur se pyaar krti thi.."
"Families ne kuch nahin kaha?"
"Kahan na.. Bohat naaraz huye the.. Par woh log toh kuch din naraz rehte ya phir mahine, phir ultimately toh thik ho hi jaana tha. Par agar humari shaadi ho gayi hoti aur phir humein lagta ki hum yeh nahin kar payenge, toh kya hota, tab to hum kuch thik nahin kar pate.."
"Right.. Puri zindagi se accha hain ek baar mein hi saare dukh jhel lo..." Noor answered.
"Phir kya tha.. Nahin hui shaadi.. Mujhe job bhi mil gayi thi toh main chala gaya..rest is history. Aur ab tumhare saamne hu.."
Noor nodded at him with a small smile. There was silence for some time again.
"Noor, ek baat puchu?"
"Haan.."
"Tum jab delhi gayi thi toh kya tumne ek baar bhi mujhe batane ka nahin socha?"
Noor looked at him dumbstruck. She never thought he would ask this. Why this question all of a sudden?
"Aap.. Aap apne ghar gaye the.. and enjoy kar rahe the... and apni family ke saath time spend kar rahe the. Issliye main socha kyun apko pareshan karna.."
"Pareshan...?? Noor, I wanted to talk to you, congratulate you, ask you about your future plans. I also wanted to tell you that your efforts paid off and I could pass the test with really good grades. Maine tumhe call bhi kiya tha, but you changed your number aur naya mere paas tha nahin.."
Noor was surprised at the piece of information she got and also guilty for it.
"Maine socha aap apne naye life mein busy ho gaye hinge issliye.. Aur baad mein, main khud itni busy ho gai ki din raat ka pata chalna bhi band ho gaya.."
Shaharyar looked at her sympathetically.
"Abb chodo wo... par next time se jab bhi tum jaane ka plan banaugi, mujhe bhi bataogi, okay?"
"Yes.. I promise. Aapko sabse pehle bataungi.."
He smiled. She too smiled.
"Aur ek baat puchna tha.. Puchun?" Shaharyar asked.
Noor looked at him and nodded.
"Us din kya hua tha tumhe... Kuch aisa hain jo humein janna chahiye, jo tum chupa rahi hon?"
"Aisa kuch bhi nahin hain jo aap logon ko janna chahiye and it was nothing, I just had a nightmare and I fell down and was recovering from it."
"Stop lying Noor, we both know that it was a panic attack aur panic attack kisi nightmare se ya phir khushi khushi to nahin aata, you need to have a back story for that.. Main tumhari tarah doctor toh nahin hoon.."
"I am a surgeon not a doctor...."
"Shut up Noor, mujhe medical terms nahin pata tumhari tarah, par itna zaroor pata hain.. Please Noor, speak up. It wasn't looking healthy. Just..."
"Maine aapse pehle bhi kahan hain, aur aaj phir se keh rahi hoon Shaharyar, yeh mera aapsi mamla hain, isme dakhal na dena hi aapke liye behtar hoga.. please dur rahiye mere mamlon se.."
"Kyun, tum dur rahi thi? Tumne bhi to mere mamle mein bola tha, meri madad ki thi?"
"Aapki baat alag thi, yeh main bachpan se dekhti aa rahi hun, yeh pata lagana ki yahan kya chal raha hain mere liye koi rocket science nahin thi. Par main jab aapko clear indication de rahi hun ke mujhe iss topic pe share nahin karna, converse nahin karna, toh aap kyun mujhe force kar rahe hain? Please mujhe mere haal pe chod dijiye, main thik hun.."
"Noor, mujhe tumhari fikar ro rahi hain?"
"Mat kijiye, na aapko aur nahin kisi aur ko meri fikar karne ki jaroorat hain.. Good night."
Saying so she left from there.. Shaharyar took a deep breath. He didn't knew what was wrong with this girl but he knew somehing was definitely wrong.
****
"Noor.... "
Noor turned around and slept again.
"Noor.." She just hummed once.
"Noor.." She again just hummed.
"Bandariya.." She pulled off the covers and looked at the person in front of her.
"Saad.."
"Uth.."
"Tu kya kar raha.. Itni raat ko..."
"Tu uthna.."
"Mujhse nahin chala jayega.."
Saad picked her up in his arms and went to the terrace. He made her sit on the mat softly.
"Ye le.." He forwarded her a cone of ice cream.
"Yeh.. Kahan se laaya.."
"Tujhe sirf khaane se matlab hona chahiye.."
"Badtameez.."
"Mujhe pata hain tujhe abhi baat nahin karni, iss liye chup chap beth kar yeh thandi si tasty si ice cream enjoy kar.."
Noor slowly put her head on his shoulder. He shifted a bit closer so that her neck doesn't get strained. She sighed deeply.
"I am tired Saad, so tired."
"I know.."
"Aur nahin hota.."
"Bas aur kuch dinon ki baat hain.."
"I know, it's just... It feels like I am back to square one... Jahan se start kiya wahin wapas aagayi.. All the years of pain to make myself emotionally strong gone to vain."
"Tu meri sherni hain Noor, aur sherni agar ek pal ke liye dahar na chor de toh bhi uska power kam nahin ho jata.. Tu abhi shaant hain, kyun ki uski zaroorat hain.. Jab daharne ki zaroorat padegi, my sherni will be back to the field, I know that.."
"Tu hamesha mujhe itne acche se kaise samjhta hain.."
"Ab best friend hokar itna bhi na samjhu toh kaheka best friend.."
They finished their ice cream cones with silence and enjoying each other's company.
"Chal sone chalte hain.."
"Tujhe neend aa rahi hain?"
"Nahin.." he answered.
"Thodi der yahin bethe.."
And just like that Noor fell asleep on his shoulder. Saad looked at her to find her sleeping. He smiled and dropped a kiss on her forehead. He again picked her up and went down and placed her back on the place just like he had taken her.
The whole scene from going to the terrace to coming back was noticed by a pair of eyes. Shaharyar. How was she so comfortable with Saad and not him? She runs away from him as if he will bite her, eat her alive. And with Saad, they are like forever best friends. Or more than that. More than friends.
****
Here's the next chapter.
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Love..