Author's note: Cut this chapter a little short because I wanted to write the next scene after this chapter in Y/n's POV. Anyway, enjoy a dive into how Eren's mind works again LOL
★★★★
I don't even know where to start. I was just at dinner with Y/n and now she shitted on me and my friends because our sex tape got leaked. I'm more confused than anything. Because who would do that shit? And why? I stood here, in the middle of this super romantic dinner, completely left in the dust. I understand she's upset. Shit, I am too. But why at me? What did I do? She has a point though. It had to have been someone who knew her. So it's definitely someone in the friend group. My first instinct was to call Armin.
"Hello?" He answers. I sigh.
"Bro. What the fuck just happened?" I ask rhetorically.
"I don't know but it's crazy. Is she with you?" He asks.
"No. Obviously not. She stormed off and now she's packing her shit and leaving. Armin, someone we know did this shit and we both know that. And she's mad at everyone, including me, and I don't know what to fucking do," I tell him.
"First, calm down. You haven't completely gotten everything handled so don't jump the gun. I told the boys not to say a word about Connie's...Discovery. I got you covered there. We need to focus on how the video was leaked. Come to my room," He tells me. I hang up.
I approach his room but before I touch the door, he opened it, letting me in. I storm in, pacing myself back and forth in his room.
"Hey, calm down. Sit down, we gotta crack this shit down," Armin tells me. I sigh, running my hands through my hair before sitting down.
"Okay...Since you recorded the tape, who's touched your phone?" He asks me. I ponder.
"How am I supposed to remember? Everyone in the friend group practically touched it, Armin," I reply. He nods.
"Okay. Here are my thoughts. Definitely not the boys because they were just as surprised as us. Doesn't take them completely out of the woods but I doubt Connie would make an account to post it. He'd just post it on his personal page or send it directly to the group chat," Armin tells me. I sigh again, nodding.
"Okay, so Connie is out. Reiner."
"Reiner could be a suspect but did he touch your phone at all the day before the tape?" He asks. I think hard before shaking my head.
"No. The people who touched my phone that night were Jean, Y/n, me, Marco, and Mikasa," I tell him. Armin looks at me, his eyebrows knitted together.
"What?" He asks for confirmation. I look at him, confused.
"What?" I ask, confused. Armin shook his head before speaking.
"Mikasa had your phone? Eren are you dumb?" He asks me.
"What the fuck do you mean am I dumb? What's dumb?" I ask him. Armin sighs.
"Mikasa doesn't like Y/n." I shake my head.
"No, they're warming up to each other. I saw that shit with my own two eyes. If Mikasa wanted to get in between us to be with me or some shit then she would know that I would never be okay with that. Why would she do it?" I ask.
"Maybe she has different motives. It's not always about you, idiot. Maybe she has a personal problem with Y/n. Something separate from you," Armin suggests.
"What would that even be though? They barely know each other. This wouldn't make any sense, Armin," I tell him. He sighs.
"I don't fucking know. But I know how vindictive Mikasa can get. You know it too. There's no doubt in my mind she did it. And I'm speaking as someone who knows her the best," He tells me. I rub my face, stressed.
"No. It's not Mikasa. She's better than that. She wouldn't do that," I reassure.
"...Mikasa is not okay, Eren. Recovery isn't linear. She can self-sabotage to get attention. She has issues. You can't keep excusing her behavior because she does shit like this, knowing you'll welcome her with open arms. You're enabling her," Armin tells me. I lean back on the chair.
"What do you want me to do then? It's my fault she's gone through so much. I'm not gonna turn my fucking back on her. She's our best friend," I tell him. He shakes his head.
"It's not your fault at all. The fact that you would even say that, blows my mind. What happened to her is no one's fault but your father's. It's not your fault or hers. But when she displays destructive behavior like this in order to feel a sense of protection from one of us, any of us, it becomes enabling, Eren. You have to set clear boundaries or else she will cross them, acting blindly knowing she saw it," Armin tells me.
"I don't want to hate her. Because my dad did some really fucked up shit to her and yeah, I feel fucking guilty because I should've protected her. But if she really did do this, I don't know if I can be the bigger person. Then what do I do? Forgive and forget but Y/n will never talk to me again, or shun her and lose a best friend?" I ask. Armin looks at me, conflicted.
"I think she needs help. I get it, your dad did something fucked up. But you're dealing with the repercussions and how is that fair to you? You're killing yourself defending Mika from your dad and putting this extra energy to hate him because of her. And I applaud you. You're a loyal friend and I get it. But when does it come to a point where it's not in your control? Mikasa is using you to avoid her problems. Her deep-rooted problems. And when you decide to set that hard boundary, she's gonna blame you for what happened to her. But know that it was not your fault," Armin tells me. I observe him before putting my head down, stressed.
I'm completely stressed. I can never just get some peace. I'll die before I can get a week of calm relaxation. But I can't just sit here and sulk about it because it isn't getting Y/n back and it isn't getting Mikasa help. I look back up at Armin. He nods, assuring me. I stand up and leave the room. He follows behind me. I approach Mikasa and Annie's room before knocking. A moment later, Annie answers the door, skeptical. Her eyebrows creased.
"The hell are you two doing here?" She asks, confused. I push the door open before walking in and seeing Mikasa sleeping on the left side of the bed.
"What the fuck are you guys doing?" Annie asks. Armin holds her arms, trying to explain.
"Mikasa wake the fuck up," I raise my voice. She opens her eyes, startled. She quickly sits up.
"Eren?" She calls out for me in a small voice. I sigh.
"Give me your phone," I order. She looks at me with her eyebrows creased.
"What? No, why?" She asks me. I walk to the table and snatch her phone.
"Don't play fucking dumb. Before I open your phone, why did you do that shit?" I ask her abrasively.
"What are you talking about? You're scaring me Eren," She tells me.
"Mikasa enough!" I scream. The room went cold and silent. I take one last breath.
"What did she do to you for you to do this shit to her? To us?" I ask her, my voice hoarse. She watches me, concerned. She paused before speaking.
"Eren-"
"Just tell me straight up Mikasa. No funny shit. Why did you do it?" I interrupt. She slowly stands up, approaching me.
"...Because she's arrogant and rude. She's entitled and spoiled. And she depends on you too much. And ever since you and she started messing around, you went completely AWOL on everyone. On all of us!" She raises her voice. I swallow.
"She took you away from us," She whispers. I step back.
"Are you serious? Took me away? From who exactly? You? Mikasa, I'm not your dad, mom, boyfriend, husband, or boss. We're best friends! We all are! You depend on me to fix everything for you but what if I can't? Oh, that's right, if I can't be here spoon-feeding you 24/7, you LEAK MY SEXTAPE. Very fucking rich of you," I raise my voice. She shakes her head.
"NO! No...I need you to be my friend. After everything we've been through. After what your dad put me through-"
"I'm NOT my dad Mikasa!"
"I know!"
"Then why are you fucking punishing me for it?!" I shout back at her. The room went silent again. She watches me, tears brimming her eyes.
"Why do you cut me so fucking deep for something I didn't do?" My voice lowers, hoarse. She sniffles as a tear runs down her cheek. I step back again, watching her from afar.
"I've been bending backward defending you. Getting guns pointed to my head and beat up until I spit blood for you. Because I was so fucking angry for you. I was always on your side and you did this to me...Get some fucking help. If Y/n sues you for this shit, you're digging yourself out of that fucking hole. You're lucky I still have some goodness in my fucking heart for you to not take legal action. Delete the video. NOW!" I finally shout. She flinches before sobbing into her hands. I look at the door, and now everyone has crowded around, watching. I sigh, looking at Armin and Annie. I toss Mikasa's phone on the bed.
"We're leaving tomorrow. Armin and Annie, if you're really her fucking friend, stay by her side until we land in Paradis so she can be sent to fucking rehab," I look at Mikasa angrily. I push through everyone, going into the now empty room. Because she managed to leave quicker than she left me at dinner. I lay on the bed that we shared, flat on my back, looking up at the ceiling in complete silence. My phone buzzes. I look at the notification.
Zeke
When are you getting back from your little vacation? He wants to talk to you again.
Eren
I leave tomorrow but I have shit to handle. Tell him I'll get to him before the week ends.
Zeke
He's giving you two days.
Eren
I said I'll get to him before the week ends.
I shut my phone off. Of course, I thought about texting Y/n. But she would never respond. There's no point. She's stubborn and needs to have shit put right in her face in order for her to even talk to you. She's just like that.
I woke up and we all took the next flight home. I handled all the expenses myself. That morning, on our way to the airport, no one spoke a word. It was dead silence. And honestly, if someone did speak, I probably would get mad. It's unreasonable, I know. But I feel like right now, I can't help it. Luckily, Mikasa was alive and fine when I saw her board the plane with Annie, who held onto her arm, almost as if she wanted to run but Annie wasn't letting her. I checked the post and it was deleted. I'm guessing Annie also did that. Mikasa wouldn't. Armin and Jean saw me boarding and waited for me at the entrance of the plane. When I caught up with them, they walked with me to my seat.
"Hey, you get some sleep?" Armin asks me. I sighed.
"I'm fine. I just need this shit to be fixed. All of it. And of course, I gotta be the one to clean up the mess," I reply.
"It'll be fine. Once Y/n figures out–"
"You do know that we're all on her bad side, right? Not just me? She doesn't trust any of us. She probably changed her fucking number and already moved out of her apartment as we speak," I interrupt Jean's attempt to reassure me. He sighs.
"Well, we know who did it and got to the bottom of it so she has no reason to hate all of us anymore," Jean replies.
"She wouldn't be that drastic..." Armin sounds unsure. I look at him, unimpressed.
"We're talking about the same Y/n, right? That girl is vicious. She's cutthroat and straightforward. She doesn't care, Armin," I tell him.
"She cares. Stop," Armin tries to calm me down. I sit down in my seat. Armin and Jean sit beside me. I lean my head back on the headrest.
"Once you get back, you go straight to her and tell her the truth. All of it. You care about her, right?" Armin asks me. I look at him.
"I wouldn't be cutting this entire trip short and punishing everyone by doing it if I didn't care. And why is it just about her? I was in the video too you know. That shit is embarrassing and an invasion of fucking privacy. She trusted me and I trusted her and this shit happens because of someone in my friend group. I mean I get I have to get some blame but I deserve some sympathy too. Shit," I tell Armin. He nods. Jean puts his hand on my shoulder.
"Well...If it helps–"
"No, Jean. It won't help." Armin interrupts Jeans' slick comment. I sigh, checking my phone.
"She blocked me on everything too," I add on. Armin shrugs his shoulders.
"Well, she probably blocked everyone here so..." Armin replies.
"Once we land, you run to her and tell her that Mikasa did it and all is fixed," Jean tells me, empty-minded. I roll my eyes, looking at him.
"Shit doesn't just work like that, Jean. If she finds out it was Mikasa, I have no doubt she'd want to fucking burn her house down with her in it. She'll be out for blood one hundred percent. And I don't know if I can prevent that," I reply.
"Well, you don't have to prevent anything out of your control but we all need to put an effort to make sure Mika is well rehabilitated and that Y/n is in a comfortable position to be around her," Armin tells us. I scoff.
"She will never be comfortable around Mikasa. She'll rip her fucking head off," I tell him. Armin sighs.
"She left last night. This was around ten hours ago? She's not even off of her flight yet," Armin tells me.
"Right. And when we're halfway through this flight, she'll be off and that gives her ten hours to do whatever she wants. Like go off-grid and forget about us all. If she leaves me forever I'll fucking find her and..." I reply.
"Are you gonna kill her? Psycho. Stop bitching and crying when you can't do anything right now. Jesus, just relax for the time you have on this plane," Jean tells me. I look at him.
"Relax? Fuck you. What would you do if your sex tape was leaked?" I ask him. He shrugs his shoulders.
"I wouldn't fucking care. It's sex. It's normal, who fucking cares?" He asks me.
"Do you not understand what Y/n does for a living, you fucking idiot?" I ask rhetorically. He scoffs.
"Well, my partner doesn't do what Y/n does so my point stands. I wouldn't fucking care. Now shut the fuck up and take a nap or something," Jean tells me. I sigh, frustrated. I pause, creasing my eyebrows, looking at Jean.
"Wait a minute. You're in a relationship? Since when?" I ask him. He looks at me, thrown off.
"Fuck you. You think I'm not an interesting person to be with?" He asks. I scoff.
"Definitely not. Who's life are you making miserable?" I ask. Armin watches Jean as we spoke. Jean blushes, looking away.
"I'm not fucking saying..." He tells me. I chuckle.
"Oh does she exist but doesn't go to our school?" I tease him. He looks at me, frustrated.
"I'm fucking your best friend. Fuck you," He spits out. My eyebrows raise.
"You're fucking Mikasa? Yeah right," I insult him. He chuckles.
"I'm not fucking Mikasa you dick biscuit," He replies. My eyebrows crease again before looking at Armin, who turns to me with a small smile. I groan, throwing my head back on the headrest.
"Oh my fucking god...No fucking way," I say into my hands that covered my face, stressed.
"Armin, are you serious? Jean?" I ask him desperately. Armin puts his hand on my arm.
"I was gonna tell you sooner or later. That was until this dumbass had to find a way to rub something in your face," He tells me as he looks at Jean with a stern face.
"You act like Armin being with me is a fucking crime," Jean comments.
"Yes, it is. A crime against humanity. You don't deserve Armin," I insult him.
"That was homophobic," Jean replies. I scoff.
"Oh, for sure," I sarcastically reply. Armin chuckles.
"Am I the only one that knows?" I ask them. Armin nods. I sigh again, looking out of the window.
"Okay. Secret safe with me. But that doesn't mean that you guys can be all...Gross in front of me. I hate seeing the image of you two together. And no, it's not because of homophobia, it's because of Jean," I tell them. Jean scoffs.
"Sounds homophobic to me," He pushes my buttons.
We finally landed in Paradis and the moment I could get up out of my seat, I did. I practically ran to the front to be the first one off. I didn't sleep the entire ride. I was just going through different scenarios in my head. If I went to her apartment and it was empty then I would go to Marley and see if she was at her grandma's house and if she isn't there then I'd go to hotels around the area because I would think she'd be there if she didn't want to be found. If she was at her apartment and didn't want to talk, I'd be prepared to sleep outside of her door until she opens it. I thought about what conversation we'd have and how she'd respond to them and then how I'd respond to them. I had too much time on my hands to not do anything about it. I got off of the plane, waiting for the rest to get out because I almost forgot my first course of action. Annie walked out with Mikasa. I watched her angrily.
"I'll drive her myself. Annie, Armin, and Jean." They look at me.
"You're coming with me," I tell them.
In the car, I drove silently to the rehab center I called beforehand to ask if they had space. Annie and Armin were in the back, holding Mikasa that sat in the middle. Jean sat on the passenger's side, glancing over at me every couple of minutes. I get a call and answer it, not seeing who it was.
"Yeah?" I answer.
"So you're back? When did you land?" Zeke asks through the phone. I sigh.
"I just landed. What is it?" I ask.
"Change of plans. He needs you-"
"I don't fucking care, Zeke. I really don't. I don't care if he was on his deathbed and he wanted to tell me he loved me. If I can't be there I'm not there. Simple. So tell him that he's gonna have to learn how to be authoritative enough to run his own fucking business for the time being that I am gone, which is really, a couple of fucking days. Call me if someone is bleeding or dying and then I'll answer again." I hang up, putting my phone in my pocket before sighing.
About twenty minutes later, I pull into the building. I give Jean my card.
"You guys take her. She's there for the longest period we can put her in there that isn't permanent. Pay for it with my card," I tell them. They slowly get out of the car, one by one, before shutting the door and assisting Mikasa into the building, where two women greet them. I sat alone in the car, looking at my phone. Nothing from her. I was running in circles in my own head. I wanted to drive to her now and just leave everyone inside. I tapped my finger on the wheel impatiently waiting for them to come back out. Armin walks out and approaches the car. I roll my window down. He hands me the card back. He sighs.
"She just tried to–"
"I don't care...How long is it gonna take?" I ask him. He looks back at the doors before looking at me.
"Let me tell you something. What she did was fucked up and you don't have to forgive her but don't sit here and act like shit is fine because in reality, you losing her hurts you. She's our best friend. And she's gonna get better. She'll right her wrongs. I promise. But don't be so cold after you're done being angry. She needs us. That's the truth," He lectures me. I look at him.
"Let me tell you something. I was there when she needed me. I did my part. I did what I could and she stretched my patience and trust out very thin. How are you asking me not to be fucking angry Armin?"
"I'm not asking you to not be angry. I'm asking you not to be so cold. That's it. It's gonna take a lot of time. I'm not rushing you to feel better. Just have some patience when you're ready to come back to it," He tells me. I look at him before huffing.
"...That shit felt like a stab to the back. It hurt," I tell him, my voice low. He leans into the window, hugging me.
"I know. And you have a right to be angry and feel hurt. I get it. And I'm sorry that it happened to you two. No one deserved that shit. I'm not siding with her, Eren. I'm on your team. I always am. Even when you feel like I'm not, okay?" He lets me go, watching me. I nod.
"But I'm on her team too. We are. And she needs the help so we're gonna get her help. And you might think you're not on her team but even bringing her here to get her help shows how much you care. We're a team. We help each other," Armin tells me. I look down.
"...It'll take about an hour. Go. I'll get us a uber," He tells me. I look at him.
"No. It's fine. I'll stay here," I reply. He shakes his head.
"You want to go. So go. It's fine, I promise. I'll text or call you about it," He tells me before backing away from the car, and walking back into the building.
I put the car in park before jumping out and running up the stairs. I jog to her door and knock three times. I put my ear to the door.
"Y/n. Y/n? If you're in there, please. Please let me in. Can we talk about this shit?" I shout at the door. No response.
"Y/n...Please. I got it all handled. Just let me in and we can talk," I shout to the door. No response. I sigh, resting my fist on the door before sliding it off.
"...I'll sleep out here if I have to. I'm not leaving until you talk to me," I speak at normal volume. I sit down on the floor with my back to her door.
I fell asleep at the door waiting for her I felt a kick on my leg. Startled, I wake up. I look up and see Y/n, holding bags. I stand up quickly, hugging her tightly.
"What the fuck?" I ask her before pulling her off of me. She looks at me, confused.
"Yeah. I should be asking you that question. What are you doing here?" She asks me, walking by me, unlocking her door.
"I wanted to talk to you. We need to talk," I tell her. She scoffs.
"Yeah. Fuck that," She replies, entering her apartment. She closes the door but my foot stops it.
"Y/n, please. I...I got it handled. You need to talk to me. I'll sleep out here if I have to but I'm not leaving until we fucking talk," I lower my voice at the crack of her door. Her eye looks at me through the crack. She hesitatingly opens the door, letting me in. She shuts the door behind us.