I looked around tha room to make sure I wasn't missin' anything and grabbed my suitcase. Tomorrow was a big day...well huge day for me. Tonight was my first solo show down in Texas and then I was meetin' with tha record label to go over a possible record deal. Shit was about to glo up for me. I was ready tho, I needed to start providing for my framily so they could be set financially long afta I was gone from this earth. With this record deal we would all be making it up out this bitch.
I made my way to the room door then turned around and did a quick scan again to make sure one last time that I wasn't missin' anything. As I looked around I had a thought that if everything went good, I would soon be upgradin' our livin' situation and we would have way more room and closet space for Cliff to put all her crazy ass outfits.
I made my way downstairs and found Cliff sittin' in tha livin' room.
"You ready to go?" I asked her.
"I can't go LaMarques."
I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. This was the only "calming" down technique I had for myself at tha moment.
"What chu mean?"
"I can't go, I just got stuff situated at tha club. I can't just pick up and go with you whenever you say go and plus who gon watch Grandmuva Ernestine?"
"Cliff, my niggah. It's not like it's just any otha show fah me. It's my first solo show, then I have a meetin' with tha record label. I'm makin' major moves right nah and I want you to be there with me." I sat my suitcase down then went to sit down on tha couch next to her.
"Maybe I can make tha next show." She said looking at me.
"The next show ain't gon matter to me as much as this one matters. Yo opinion matters, it's tha only one that matters." She turned ha head, and I grabbed her face gently and turned it towards me.
"What's really tha issue Shawty?"
"I tol' you. I just can't make it to this one."
I got up from tha couch and started pacing back in forth.
"LaMarques..."
"From tha moment you let me back in I knew that shit was gon have tha change. Heyell, I knew shit was gon have tah change tha moment you kicked me out tha kingdom. I knew shit was gon have tah change cause it was no way I was gone fuck shit up again. You said you needed real life. Outside tha Paradise Room, Outside tha room and outside that fuckin' closet. I been doin' that willingly and openly, but obviously I'm fuckin' up somewhere. Tell me what I'm doing wrong, and I'll fix it, cause right now I'm not understandin."
"LaMarques it's not you, I tol' you. I just can't make it to this one."
"That's bullshit Cliff. Just help me undastand this please cause I don't want to fuck shit up again."
"Why can't you just accept what I'm tellin' you?"
"Cause I know it's bullshit Cliff. Just like I kno you lied to me last night, but don't worry. I handled that shit."
She stood up and walked towards me. She grabbed my arm stoppin' me from pacing back and forth.
"What are you talkin about?"
"Last night when you came home, and I asked you about yo eyes bein' red. That wasn't cause of no fuckin' allergies. You lied to me."
"You wen't through my fuckin' phone?"
"Really niggah? Tha shit kept goin' off, so yeah I looked at it., thinkin' it was Big L and that somethin' was wrong with tha club or sum shit. But come to find out it was some shit that went down with you, Mercedes, and Mane"
"LaMarques...what did chu do?"
"Handled it."
"I told you no mo'bodies! You don't even know what happen." She yelled.
"Did he or did he not step to you?"
"It's not how your thinkin'- "
"Did he or did he not step to you?" I repeated.
"Yes but- "
"Then I don't need to kno shit else bout it. I'm tryin to take care of you, protect you, pleasure you, GIVE YOU ALL THIS FUCKIN" LOVE CLIFF! But you steady keep pushin me away. If you scared say that and I'll stop everythin' and we can take it at yo pace, but don't tell me no bullshit about not being able to come cause of tha club. Heyell tha club was shut down most of tha pandemic and you made it through."
"Niggah it barely survived!"
"Niggah I'm asking for ONE OR TWO DAYS. Just be there FOR ME! I do shit for you willingly cause you my niggah and I want to do it. and I need to do it! But when I ask for your support I can't get it, heyell I need it more than you can obviously get through yo fuckin' head!" My eyes were tearin' up.
"And obviously you can't get it through yo fuckin' head that I have a club tah run, a business, MY DREAM, MY LIFE!."
"I been supportin' you and tha club from tha very beginning' you ain't neva hurd me say fuck tha pynk. You can't even sit hure and say that what I'm asking is on some last-minute shit. I been tellin' you I was going to get back to it. Been tellin you Woddy settin' up tha show and that I was gon meet with tha record label. You had more than enough time to move some shit around and be their fah me. But you kno what...Fuck this!" I went to grab my suitcase and walked towards tha door.
"LaMarques wait! So that's it, you just gon walk out?" I turned around and wiped the tears that had managed to escape.
"I made promises that I gotta keep and you need time to think about whure I stand in yo life Cliff."
She walked up to me and grabbed my hand, and I had to fight not to grab her and just kiss tha shit out ha.
"Right hure, you stand right hure next to me- "
"Uh-Uh I'on believe that Cliff. I gotta go make this money, wit or without chu. Just take yo time and let me know when you ready.'Til then, I kno where tha door is, I'ma see myself out." I pulled my hand away, grabbed my suite case and left to get in tha car. We were travelin' in two black on black SUVs. Tru was drivin' in one SUV and Woddy and Keyshaw were ridin' in tha otha one.
________________
"AYYYY we bout' tah get littyyyyyy, you got yo first solo show and it's yo birthday tomorrow. What we doin first?" Keyshawn asked. She turned around and looked at me when I didn't respond. "Murda what's wrong, where Uncle Clifford?"
"She ain't comin' let just go."
"I can go talk to her if yo- "
"I said let's just fuckin' go! She ain't comin' damn!"
Woddy started up tha car and we drove off. I ain't mean to snap on Key like that, it's just my mind was racing right now. I closed my eyes and just tried to get some sleep til we made it to tha hotel.
"oooh! Ooo-hoo-hoooooh!
LaMarques had me so hot! I swear that bwoy was gon drive me to an early grave. I grabbed a duffle bag from tha closet and started to pack his shit. I didn't have time to constantly deal with his young, hot-headed ass. He really had tha nerve to go thru my phone! Ain't no tellin' what he did to that swole Ikea logo lookin ass niggah. Sayin' stupid shit like I don't support him! I threw his shirts in tha bag and went to tha bathroom to get some mo of his shit. Just as I stepped out tha restroom I saw my mother sitting at tha vanity.
"What chu wastin' yo time fah?"
"I'on wanna hear it. I tried." I told ha.
"You ain't tried nothin' but tha run that bwoy away. You gon mess around and let that fear keep you from tha love you deserve."
"It's so much sometimes mama. I ain't never had someone like him."
"Love can be scary sometimes baby, but not this love. This love is caring, this love is protecting, this love is pure. Your so deserving of all he wants to give you. Don't let fear run you, let go and be happy."
She disappeared and I quicky whipped the tears that had fallen from my eyes. She was right, she was always right. I was just scured. Scared to let go and be loved. What if his career failed because of him comin' out wit me. What if it didn't fail and he got all tha fame, money, and dudes and stop caring about me.
I stood up and started taking his stuff out tha bag. I laughed a little and looked up at the ceiling.
"I was wastin' my time huh?" I put his shirts back on tha hangers and went to put them back in tha closet.
"Ow!" I tripped ova a pair of LaMarques shoes. "Ugh he coulda at least put'em unda tha bed." I said getting' down on tha floor to put his shoes unda tha bed. I shook my head and grabbed a pair of pants that were unda tha bed. Why were men like this? Just leave shit anywhere.
Just as I was bout to throw his pants in tha dirty basket a post card fell to tha ground. I picked it up and read it.
Memphis
I love you
Lil Murda
TO: Cliff Sayles
551 Golda Hall Lane
Chucalissa, MS 38644
I love you,. The moment I read the post card I instantly regretted lettin' him walk out and not leavin' with him. My mind was made up now, I was going to get my man. I hope it wasn't too late. I started packing my bag. I was going to let him know that I loved him just as much if not more than he loved me. I heard tha doorbell ring and stopped packing.
"CLIFFORD, NIGGAH! I'm leavin." Grandmuva yelled. Ha ass had already made it downstairs by tha time I left out tha room.
"Grandmuva, what in tha heyell is you doing?" I made it downstairs just as she opened tha door.
"Miss. Earnestine!!"
"Christine!! Give a bitch a hug" I smiled when I saw that it was LaMarques mama. They hugged and she looked at me and smile.
"Hey Miss. Lady." She reached and pulled me into a hug.
"What is all this ya'll got goin' on?" I asked ha. She turned to Grandmuva.
"Earnestine! You ain't tell'ha?"
"I did, I just told' ha I was leavin."
"Ha ass literally just tol'me. Yellin' on ha way downstairs talking bout she leavin'. You kno ha and yo son be ganging up on me in hure."
"Awl Niggah hush!"
"She called me and said she wanted to stay at tha house for a few days. You know I loves me some Earnestine. So, I tol' ha to ask you first."
"Grandmuva you show you wanna leave tha house?" I didn't mind. I trusted LaMarques mama. I just wanted to make sure Grandmuva was going to be okay, it was going to be for a day or two.
"Clifford I'm always in this house. Tha most time I've been out this house is when I was in tha hospital. I'm not livin' my life stuck in this house all tha time. I wanna enjoy that rest of my days."
"Okay well at least let me get all yo doctor numbers and yo medicine and-"
"Niggah I got it all, can we go please."
"Uh-uh, what ya'll got planned?" They were up to sumthin.
"Stay out grown folk business! But if you must kno wit yo' nosey self, we need to get goin' cause we need to get to tha weed man fah it get dark." Grandmuva left out and started walkin' down tha porch stairs.
"Oop! You see what I mean? Just a mess!" I told Christine shakin' my head.
'Don't worry. I'ma take good care of ha, we gon have fun. You need to get goin' that drive to Texas ain't a short drive."
"He went and tol' on me already?" I asked ha.
"No, I just kno my son. Had you gon with'em I would have gotten pictures and all that shit. Look at this one he sent tha otha day."
She handed me her phone and I almost started cryin' again.
"I didn't even kno he took this! This was when he first came ova and meet Grandmuva."
"That bwoy crazy bout you. Ya'll gone be fine. You be careful on that road and make sure he do sumthin' fah his burfday. He works to hard not to celebrate himself."
"Burfday?!" This niggah ain't even tell me.
"I can see you got a lot of stuff tah do. Let me let you go." She gave me a big hug and I walked ha to tha car. I made sure Grandmuva was all buckled in.
"Now you behave Grandmuva."
"And you go be Amazon and deliver that dick!" I was just about to tell ha ass off when Christine rolled up ha side window.
Lord, lord, lord! What was I gon do with ha?! I went inside tha house and finished packing. On my way out I called Big L and tol' him I was leaving for a few days and to not burn my mu'fukin club down or get into any shit. If I came back and my club was in one piece I would be happy, that would mean Big L could handle shit while I was gone, and I would be able to go with LaMarques a lot more...if he still wanted anythin' tah do with me.
I called up Winta and told ha to be ready, she was comin' wit me. She ain't have shit else tah do cause I had already tol' Big L to find someone else tah cook. I pulled up to ha apartment and held my hand on tha horn til she came runnin' out and got in tha car.
"Uncle Clifford really?" She threw ha bag in tha back.
"What, we needs ta go." I laughed.
We started rollin' and I called Keyshawn.
"I'm mad at chu? You made my brotha sad." First thing she said when she answered.
"Gurl bye. I needs a favor."
"Yessss?"
"I'm on my way and I need tha address to tha hotel and- "
"Yayyyyy, it's bout' tah be littyyy. Murda gon be so happy."
"No, don't tell'em. I want to surprise him. Can you sneak and get his room key and go buy some candles, roses, champagne, Henny, red and green balloons, whip cream, honey- "
"Okayyyyy, I got chu. Don't worry. I'ma get tha stuff and text you tha address. We gon have fun...well you gon have tha most fun but if you not in a coma from be dicked down, we can hang tomorrow."
"Bye gurl!"
I hung up in ha face and laughed. I was happy to see she was slowly gettin' back to tha Keyshawn I knew.
Afta I got off tha phone with Uncle Clifford I went into tha livin' area and Woddy was sittin' on tha couch. The record label went all out for them. Er'body had suites and it was all paid for. They really wanted to sign Murda.
"Woodddddyyyy." I sang and sat down next to him.
"Cash or Card?"
"Niggah you don't even kno what I was gon ask." He turned and looked at me.
"Women only get this happy if they wanna go shoppin, want some dick or wanna go eat. I'on think you hungry so you must wanna go shoppin."
Why he ain't say nuthin' bout tha dick part?
"Card please." I held out my hand.
"Mmm.. hmmm." He pulled out his wallet and handed me his card.
"Actually, let's make it cash," I though about tha stuff I was goin' to have tah buy. I ain't want him to look at this bank statement and see transaction from tha sex store.
"Is that enough?" He handed me a stack.
"More than enough." I put tha money in my purse and gave Woddy a quick kiss on tha cheek and headed to tha door.
"Thank you, I'll be back, and before you say anythin' I'll be careful, and I have my phone." I left before he could say anything else.
I got on tha elevator and rode up to tha top floor. Tha record label had put Murda in a suite on tha top floor. I got off tha elevator and knocked on his door. He opened it and I just walked in.
"Oooohhhh this is niiicceee, Murda, all this is you right hure?" I looked around the livin' room area. I was lookin' to see how Cliff could decorate and fah his key. Men just laid shit anywhur. I looked around and saw tha key layin right on tha end table. I went and sat down on tha couch.
"What's up Key?"
"You nervous?"
"Nah, I'm skraight. I stays ready."
"You use tah be scared. Had tah strip you down memba?"
"That was lil' murda, he dead now. I'm big murda."
"Well excuse me. I just wanted to check on you."
"I'm sorry about yellin- "
"It's okay. I know you got a lot on yah mind. You just owe me a moonpie whenever I want it"
"Iight' bet. You want sumthin' tah drink" He went to tha refrigerator." I grabbed tha room key quick and got up.
"Nah, I'm good. I was just checkin' on ya. I'll see you lata." I got up and left to get all tha stuff Uncle Clifford needed.
__________________
"Murda that shit was lit bruh. You had that crowed so hyped." We had just left tha show which had sold out. Everybody knew tha song lyrics word for word, he couldn't even rap most of'em cause they was rappin' ova him. "I'm proud of you."
"Aye I couldn't have done it wit out my brotha...and sista." Keyshawn turned around and they did a lil handshake.
"Almost midnight, you wanna have yo first birthday drink?" I asked him as I pulled into tha hotel parkin lot.
"No! He should go get his rest, tha meetin' is in tha mornin" I parked tha car and looked at Keyshawn. We spoke to eachotha wit our eyes.
Niggah did you forget...Cliff!
Oh shit, yeah I forgot.
"Nah, Key right, I'ma head on up and go tah bed. A niggah kinda tired." We all got out tha car and got on tha elevator. We reached our floor and I dapped Murda.
"Iight, I'll get wit you tomorrow." We walked down tha hall and went into tha room. Key ran and jumped on tha couch.
"Omg, that was so much fun! He's grown so much! He really gon make it."
I sat down on than couch next to ha. I leaned my head on tha couch and turn towards her.
"You miss bein' on stage?"
"A little...well alot, but I know it's not tha right move right now. I wish I still was able to get my lash deal and I wanted to start a hair care business."
"Why can't you have it?"
"Rome got me those deals and controlled most...well all of it. They probably ain't gone wanna work with me now."
"You Miss Mississippi, that name still hold weight. If you want it, go get it. Get all that shit back. But this time you gon be in control. I'll help you if you want, just let me know."
"Bwoy you too booked and busy wit Murda." She put her head down.
"I'll make time fah you." I said liftin ha head.
She looked at me for a minute and then started leaning towards me. I met ha halfway and we started kissin'. Ha lips felt so good. With our lips and tongue still locked together she straddled me and my hands instantly gripped ha ass.
"Mmmm" she moaned and started lickin' and kissin' my neck. My dick had swelled up enough that she could feel it and started rocking back and forth.
"mmmmmm..you wanna fuck me Woddy?" I couldn't think straight enough to answer her. Both my heads were battlin' each otha.
"Key...key...we...get up." I whispered.
She stood up slowly and backed up a little. She kept ha eyes locked on me as she slowly took off ha pants and shirt. She walked back up to me and staddled me again. She kissed my ear and asked me again.
"You wanna fuck me Woddy?" Where tha fuck had my voice went? I didn't say nothin' and she grabbed my hand and slipped it in her panties. I started to finga fuck her, she was so wet.
"mmmmmm" She started ridin' my finga and I inserted anotha one and started rubbin ha clit.
"mmmmm...shit...you don't wanna fuck me cause you know.... mmmm.... you kno I'll have you stuck just remenincin'." I stop rubbin' ha clit. She pulled back and looked me in tha eyes.
"Stand up." She rolled ha eyes and started to get up.
"No, I want you to stand up like this." She stood up on tha couch and I slipped my hands unda tha side of her panties and slid them down slow. She stepped out of'em, and I put them in my pocket. I looked up at ha.
"You ain't gon need'em." I slid down a little till tha back of my head was on tha couch. It was time I let ha know who would really be reminiscing.
"Come hure, bring that pussy to eye level. I wanna look at ha dead in ha face right before I devour her. Don't be afraid. You can grab tha back of my head for support." I pulled her down until her pussy lips were inches away from my lips.
"I'm bout tah give you tha best nut you eva had. Ain't gon be no bed sheets to catch it, just let it flow onto my tongue and down my throat." I spread ha pussy lips and kissed ha clit.
"I won't stop til you tap out and you will tap out. I need you to cum for me (kiss) I need you to come on me (kiss) I (kiss) want (kiss) you (kiss) to (kiss) satisfy (kiss) my (kiss) thirst (kiss) with yo juices" I licked ha clit and stuck my tongue in her. Her breathin' started to change. I slapped ha ass and she started riding' my tongue.
"Mmmmmm" I gripped ha ass tighter as she started to ride my face faster. Her pussy tasted like sweet Georgia peaches, like the first slice of a freshly baked sweet potato pie, like cold cranberry and pineapple juice with a little drizzle of honey on tha hottest day in Mississippi.
"mmmmm...it feels so good." I spread ha legs wider and started movin' my head up and down matching ha flow. She started to ride me faster and threw ha head back. "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck" She tapped tha back of my head and I held ha down on my face slurpin' ha until I had got every drop.
_____________
A niggah must have been tired cause I thought I grabbed my room key, but I couldn't find that shit nowhur. I had to go back downstairs to tha lobby and get another key. Nobody was at tha front desk, so I hit tha bell. A lil' shawty came to that front. When she saw me she froze. I laughed.
"Oh my God, you lil' murda."
"Big Murda," I smiled.
"Omg, I'm havin' a fuckin' panic attack right now, I need to calm tha fuck' down, cause I'm so fuckin' mad tha mornin' shift and told me shit!"
"Shawty you good?'
She took a deep breath and closed ha eyes,
"I'm good, I'm sorry. You just so fine. Let me remain professional. You on tha top floor right?"
"Yeah," I laughed. This shit was funny. Tha legend of lil' murda did make it all tha way down to Texas.
"Here you go," she handed me my key. "Top floor room numba 27." I turned around to leave then turned back around and walked up to tha desk.
"You wanna picture?" I asked ha. She got tha biggest smile.
"Please if you don't mind?" she pulled out ha camera and we took a couple of pics. "Thank you so much."
"No problem."
I got back on tha elevator and went to my room. As soon as I walked in my breathing quicken and I started rubbin' my eyes...a niggah must be realll tired. I'm startin' tah see shit.
"You ain't fuckin' dreamin'. Happy Birthday baybe." Cliff kissed me and caressed my face.
Baybe? What that fuck was goin' on.
She grabbed my hand and we walked to tha couch. She had candles, rose petals, red and green balloons and a drank on tha table. She stood in front of me, and I tried to reach fah ha and she backed up.
"Uh-uh. Take off your clothes." She went and sat down at tha end of tha bed and watched me. I took off my shirt and shoes and was about to take off my pants.
"I can do that part." She got on ha knees and crawled over to me and sat up. She kept ha eyes on me tha whole time as she undid my belt buckle and pulled down my pants and boxers at tha same time. I stepped out of them and looked at Cliff. She never lost eye contact wit me. She looked up at my dick which was standin straight out and kissed tha head. She pushed me back on tha couch and got in between my legs. She ran her tongue from my ankle all tha way up to my dick and started suckin'
"Aaahhhh fuckkk..." I leaned my head back and grabbed ha head. She removed my hand.
"I got this. I'on need no help. Tah night is all about you. I'ma suck yo dick til yo toes curl, til you get chill's from yo head all tha way down to ya toes., if you need to nut, do it. I'ma swallow it and keep going. I'ma please you tah night...howeva you want, whateva you want. I wanna show you how sorry I am, how much you mean to me, how much I appreciate you. I wanna show you how much I love you."
She had tears comin' out ha eyes and so did I, I leaned and wiped her tears. She pushed me back and started suckin' my dick. I wanted to grab ha so bad, but I was going to obey, and let ha handle it.
"How you want me to suck yo dick? You want it slow..." she went all tha way down and took my dick deep in ha throat and came back up slow.
"Or you want it fast?" She bobbed ha head up and down going fasta.. the slowed back down and started just started kissin' and lickin' tha head. "How you want it?"
"mmmmm...it's yo dick shawty, do whateva you wanna do." I closed my eyes and leaned my head back.
"I'm sorry what chu say?"
"I said do what- "
"Uh-uh, I'm not talkin' to you." I looked down and Shawty was talking to my dick. If speakin into tha mic was a person.
"I'm sorry bout that. Now what did you say again?" she leaned ha ear to my dick. "Oh really? I hurt yo feelin's...I'm sorry" She kissed my dick. "I ain't mean it, I was just scared." She looked up at me. "I coulda-shoulda handled things different. I know betta know, I know I'm worthy of bein' took care of, all tha protection...deserving of all this fuckin' love." She started strokin my dick. "You want me to do what?... You want me to make it up to you?...how you want me to do that? Ohhh, you wanna be inside me...let's ask daddy." She looked up at me. "You wanna be inside me?"
I pulled ha up and she straddled me and slid down on my dick slowly.
"Ohhhh fuckkkk." I smacked ha ass. "Bounce that ass and grip my dick." She started riding me faster.
"Shittt you feel so good inside meeeee." She grabbed my neck and started to squeeze. I guess she thought she was hurtin' me cause she moved ha hand down to my chest. I put ha hand back on my neck.
"You can leave yo mark on me Shawty, you can dig yo nails in my chest. I'm yours, you ain't gotta be gentle. You can ruff me up. Leave yo mark Shawty...let these bitches kno I'm yours, make me feel you tomorrow, I wanna feel tha love scratches and bruises... I wanna kno you was hure, loving every inch of my body. "
"Oooohhhh fuckkkk." I gripped ha love handles and bounced ha up and down faster on my dick until I released every drop of my nut. She feel forward on my chest, out of breath.
"Do you kno how much I love you?" I whispered in ha ear.
She lifted a little and looked me in my eyes, whipped my tears and caressed my face.
"I sho'll do."