A frantic knock echoed at Mitch's door. He raised an eyebrow at Shawn, who sat on the other bed and shrugged.
Sniffles made Mitch's heart clench. Had something happened with Tom and Maria?
No matter the situation, Mitch would do what was best for her. Nothing could happen between them if she was this upset.
He opened the door to a crumpled Thai woman who threw herself into his arms, crying into his chest. He stroked her silky hair and down to her back.
"What happened?" he whispered.
He flickered his gaze to Shawn, who grabbed his phone and wallet then tiptoed out of the room. Once the door clicked shut, Prae gripped the collar of Mitch's shirt and stared into his eyes with intensity. "Make me feel anything but this."
Not too long ago, those words made his night. He could distract her from that pain, but it wouldn't get to the root. She'd be just as miserable tomorrow at the waterfall, and so would he. To compound that misery, he'd feel guilty for taking advantage of the situation.
"Lay down on the bed." When her eyes widened and lips parted, he added, "I'll give you a massage and you can tell me what happened."
As his hands worked through the tense muscles in her neck and shoulders, Prae's sniffles slowed and so did her breathing. He kept quiet to let her be the one to break the silence.
"You're quite good at that."
"Lots of practice."
Prae's body rocked with a laugh, which was a moderately good sign. "I imagine."
The occasional woman he'd hooked up with in Thailand enjoyed his massages, while most were interested in another kind of satisfaction. Thai massage parlours were so affordable, readily available, and better than what he could achieve. But if Prae was complimenting him, perhaps he wasn't as rusty as he thought.
"It was my ex from college. She had these shoulders that ground on each other like a cement mixer. Sitting in lectures all day and studying all evening didn't help." It was weird to picture her outside those final furious moments of their relationship.
"She must miss this."
Mitch forced his hands to relax before Prae noticed the change in his grip. "She has plenty of reasons to be relieved I'm gone. Is this helping?"
Prae groaned in contentment. "Yeah."
He smiled and worked on her tension like it was his own. The images of golden wheat fields filled his mind, that perfect hue at harvest time. Fields that spread for miles without breaking.
Once he finished, he lay on his side facing Prae. Her eyes were still red and puffy.
"He'll ask her to be his girlfriend," Prae said in a defeated tone.
"He told you that?"
She shook her head. "He didn't have to."
"We knew that going into this trip, didn't we?" It was one reason she'd begged him to come and even talked Tom into it. Not that Mitch's selfish ass needed an excuse to be around Maria.
"He was so upset, and we started talking, and I thought perhaps he was having doubts..." Tears trickled down her cheeks. "He'll say such kind things about me, and I'll tell him the same and the second I hope for more, he talks about her. Worse, what am I doing to Maria? Sitting there, holding and comforting him, wishing he'd see me the way he does her, all while she's worried about him."
Mitch pulled her into a hug and rocked her as more of her misery flowed out. Tom's actions weren't right, and he seemed too oblivious to see the pain he caused. Prae wouldn't like his plan, but it was the simplest to make her heartache stop without creating more stress. He reassured her and distracted her with funny animal videos on his phone until she fell asleep in his arms. After covering her with a light blanket, he sneaked into the courtyard and headed to Tom's hotel room.
Guilt lingered in his stomach like a parasite. This interference could affect Maria, but it would help Prae. It was what he'd wished he'd been around to do for Emily more often to spare her pain.
He sighed and knocked on the thick wood door. The porch light was still on like he was expecting someone.
When Tom opened up, his brow furrowed. "Maria isn't here."
"I came to talk to you if you have a minute."
Tom stood between the door and the frame. "Why?"
"It's about Prae."
"Did something happen to her?"
"Not since she left your room."
Tom puffed out his chest and hissed. "What the hell are you implying?"
"That you're unintentionally causing her pain." Mitch kept his tone steady and non-threatening.
"I'm always kind to her. I never treat women like objects."
"That's why I said unintentionally. Can I come in? This isn't a conversation Prae would want to happen in the hotel yard." Other guests were enjoying the cooling evening air and the way the courtyard lighting.
Tom cracked the door open just enough that Mitch had to squish through. The redhead sat on the bed without a crumpled comforter, and Mitch settled opposite him in a wooden chair.
Tom scoffed and ran his palms over his shorts. He looked paler than normal. "Ironic you're here to lecture me about how to treat women."
"I'm here to share something a good friend is too shy and polite to say."
Tom crossed his leg over his thigh. "She tolerates you for a week and suddenly you're good friends? She thought you were a shallow asshole not too long ago."
Prae wouldn't use the word asshole, but Mitch believed the sentiment and didn't blame her because that was who he was a month ago. "Friendship is about the depth of the connection, not the duration. Will you hear me out, or do you have more snipes to get off your chest?"
"It's about holding you accountable for being a womanizing dick."
Mitch exhaled slowly. It was similar to dealing with his more stubborn students. "You don't like me. I get and deserve that, but I'm here because I care about Prae, as you do, and I want to make this trip easier for her."
"Fine." Tom folded his arms and stuck up his chin. "What awful thing am I doing?"
"You're going to her for advice about Maria."
"So? She's kind and believes in relationships. She's always offered me help because that's what friends do."
Tom's brand of needy would be too much for any friendship. There was no reciprocation, which was why she kept coming to Mitch for support. "That kindness is keeping her from admitting that constantly helping you is emotionally draining her."
His frown lessened. "I'll try to ask her less often."
"It's not just the frequency. Fixing someone else's relationship is hard when you're..." Was Prae going to kill him for discussing this with Tom? Likely, but perhaps steering the man in the right direction and not outright blurting it out would work.
"Single?"
"That's part of it. Prae's ready to give you the world on a platter, she'll flatter you, and do more than the average person would to help you. Can you think of anyone you treat that way?"
"Is that a shot?"
Mitch used a calm tone. "No, it's a genuine question."
Tom uncrossed his legs and stretched them out on the bed. "I would do that for Maria."
"Right, because you have feelings for her."
Tom's brow furrowed. "Prae's a friend, and she's always been supportive."
"Not everything is motivated by friendship."
Tom ran his hands over his cargo shorts. "No, she would have said something or stepped away to protect herself."
"Not necessarily. As you said, Prae's a kind person. Kind enough to support you, even when it's painful for her. Think of times she's left upset and your conversation before that moment."
"All I did tonight was thank her for helping with my relationship."
"Were you discussing the relationship before that?"
"No, I was telling how wonderful she..." His mouth formed an O and it finally seemed to dawn on him. He sat in silence while the air conditioner hummed. "Has she told you she has feelings for me?"
"Yes."
"For how long?"
"That's a question to ask her."
Tom's leg shook, and his eyes darted around the room. "What am I supposed to do?"
"That's your decision. You were quite clear that you're not a guy who hurts women, so I figured you were oblivious to this whole situation. Now you're not. If I were you, I'd stop relying on Prae to make your relationship with Maria work." Perhaps that statement would keep this secret from imploding their connection.
Tom's eyes widened. "What if it falls apart without her?"
"Then maybe it wasn't meant to work, or it'll improve. Maria is one of the most understanding and supportive people I know. She thrives on helping others."
"I don't want to be the guy who needs help from his girlfriend. I want to be a person she's attracted to and looks up to."
"Sure, in the beginning, but if you can't go to your partner with what's bothering you, what'll happen when you decide which city to live in, how to raise your kids, or if something terrible happens to a loved one? If you can't talk through the simple stuff, you're fucked, no matter how attractive you are."
Life had a way of pushing you to your breaking point just to watch you suffer. Mitch knew that all too well. It didn't matter how solid bonds were; they were always vulnerable to shattering.
"She has to be attracted enough to me to reach that point. It's not a problem you'd understand."
Mitch scoffed. "Two beautiful gems of women are sitting in their hotel rooms thinking about you, and you're throwing a pity party."
"That's temporary."
"Let's hope for their sakes, it is. Prae's at her limit, but she'll never admit it."
Tom stared at his socked feet. "Are you saying I should quit talking to her?"
"No, you're friends, and that would devastate her, but stop asking her about Maria. If you have a question, text me or ask Emma, or even Sunshine."
Tom crossed his arms. "No offence, but you're the last person I'd want to ask."
"You can either deal with being uncomfortable or live knowing that you're taking advantage of a woman who wishes she was in Maria's place every time you turn to her with your relationship problems."
Tom gazed at the floor. "Are you going to tell Maria?"
"It's not my business to tell. I only did this because I couldn't watch Prae go through this anymore."
Tom shook his head and snorted. "Now you have empathy for women."
Mitch had dealt with enough jabs from Tom, so he took it in silence to avoid provoking more. He didn't intend to hurt women and used to find partners who wanted the same thing he did. But once those desires changed without him realizing it, the problems came. The number of times he'd made Maria cry was horrifying.
"Is Prae still pretty upset?"
She wasn't as shattered as Maria had been after Mitch's rejection, but close. "She's sleeping it off."
Tom picked at the skin on his hands. "Maria's bound to ask her about it."
"She's at mine and Shawn's."
Tom's fists clutched at the bedsheets, and he looked ready to jump Mitch. "If you took advantage of her..."
"I wouldn't be here having this conversation with you if I'd done that. This is the last place I want to spend my Friday night," Mitch spoke calmly.
"The feeling's mutual."
Mitch chuckled. It'd been a while since Tom had a sense of humour even if it came from hatred. The air-conditioner clicked off, letting the sounds of raucous laughter and raid-fire Thai bleed through the wall.
"If the idea of Prae being with another man bothers you, you should figure that out before it happens."
Tom lowered his eyes and frowned. "Do you think that's likely?"
"The more broken she feels, the more the odds increase. We're human. We look for distractions and comfort."
"Is that why you do it?"
Mitch stared at his interlocked fingers. Prae's words from tonight repeated, 'Make me feel anything but this'. He'd been there too many times. "Sometimes."
"Thanks for telling me about Prae. I'll decide what I need to do."
Mitch stood and stretched before heading toward the door. As much as he hoped Tom would choose Prae, he recalled all the times Maria had beamed at Tom, snuggled into his arms, and giggled after kissing him. "Maria seems really happy when you're together, for what it's worth. You're both good for each other."
"That means a lot. Thanks, man."
After Mitch put on his shoes and slipped outside, he ditched the fake smile. What would he do with his evening? If he returned to his room, Prae was there, and if he joined Shawn at the bar, he could numb this pain and meet a traveller to distract him. But he was sick of being that guy. Prae was asleep anyway, so he would be alone with his thoughts.
Once he'd found his room, he leaned against the interior wall as his body was engulfed in agony. The glimmer of hope in his bleak existence was flittering away to a more vibrant destination. He couldn't blame her in the slightest.
What now? He couldn't continue facing Maria when they couldn't be together or asking her to risk her relationship to keep him sane.
Fuck.
Why didn't he confess his feelings months ago? Then he'd be holding the woman he longed to wake up to each morning and share every moment with. But her heart belonged to Tom. A man who deserved her and would make her happy. Mitch's happiness came at the expense of hers, and he would never jeopardize that.
He took in shaky breath after shaking breath until sobs racked him. As he slid to the glossy wood floor, he buried his head in his knees. His heart was as hollow as his life. It'd been so long since he'd had anyone this close and losing that... It was the news of Sunny and Dan's departure amplified to reach a crowd of thousands.
This must have been how Maria felt at Christmas, those tears, that unrelenting optimism. Mitch banged his head against the wall as his tears continued to fall.
Insensitive asshole.
Smack
Self-absorbed prick.
Smack
Complete waste of humanity.
Light footsteps padded across the carpet, and Prae sat beside him, placing her head on his shoulder which made him stop.
"Where did you go?" she whispered.
"Out." If she knew what he'd done, she'd hate him too.
"Did you see Maria and Tom?"
"Something like that," Mitch muttered. After everything he put her through, Maria would never give up Tom for Mitch. It was a selfish fantasy.
"I'm sorry. What do you want to do?"
"Sleep." Maybe his dreams could provide reprieve. If not, at least unconsciousness beat his current reality.
"Would you like me to stay?"
"All I can offer you is a place to cry without judgment."
"That sounds wonderful to me."
Mitch squeezed her hand, and they walked toward the beds. "Do you want your own bed? Shawn and I can share."
"That's a good idea... but."
"But?"
"Earlier was nice."
Mitch smiled. "It was. I can't be anything more than a friend, otherwise, I'll end up hurting you."
Prae slipped into the bed. "That's all I need."
He slid in across from her, the heavy comforter trapping them in place. Her scrunched face betrayed the words she was imprisoning, just like he'd done so many times, including tonight. He squeezed her hand. "It'll get better."
He had to believe it to survive the rest of the year. It wasn't enjoyable or anything he looked forward to, except for the rare moments Maria brightened, but he was getting through them, one day at a time.