At first, Crabpaw showed promising signs of recovery.
Ospreypaw visited him for several days, so much that they almost neglected their training to see him. His left eye sported a deep wound, which he said he could only see blurry shapes through. After a few days, he lost sight in that eye completely. Despite this, both he and Riverflower remained positive that he would recover.
On one of the first few days, he told Ospreypaw about the fight. He mentioned then that some of the NightClan warriors tried to intervene as well. A huge grey NightClan tom named Stormrunner had to break the fight up, and he wasn't the first to try, according to Crabpaw.
"I'm really grateful to him," he had said, his uninjured eye glistening. "I don't remember much after that, but I know he helped end the battle. They're not all bad, Osprey."
Clearly, he intended to comfort or inspire Ospreypaw with his words, but all they could feel at that moment was a lurching, nauseating horror. The knowledge that their brothers had been so brutally attacked that some of their enemies had to intervene—they didn't even know what to say to their brother.
After this, Crabpaw's condition plummeted. Infection, sickness, Ospreypaw didn't know what it was, but they spent every last moment with their brother until he passed away. They'd never seen anyone's health decline so quickly—not their own, nor Mudbreath's after the battle that led to his infections. Riverflower remained confident he would recover, as well—at least, up until the last few sunrises.
The days blurred together since Crabpaw passed. Ospreypaw couldn't remember how many times the sun had risen and set; they knew that at some point, Sticklefur surrendered his apprentice, Poolpaw, to Eveningshell. Like Ospreypaw and their parents, the grief wore him down quickly. He kept his distance from the remaining apprentice, too, though they often felt his watchful gaze.
At first, sorrow gripped Ospreypaw as badly as it did their parents and uncle. It twisted their heart with its ice-cold claws until all they could feel was an agonizing ache. Days passed, of course: the only reason they registered such a fact was due to the pain ebbing away until it left nothing behind. Following the presence of grief was a strange absence of feeling. They could only relate it to the idea of an old, rotten tree trunk they saw once—hollow and ready to wither away.
The only thing they had the motivation to continue was their training. In fact, it was as if their drive had been renewed; energized by a desire to become a warrior for both of their littermates.
"Your energy today was remarkable," Darkshadow praised slowly, pulling Ospreypaw from their thoughts. "I can tell you've been practicing with someone else."
"Someone else?" Ospreypaw echoed in surprise. Surely he didn't know about their training with Teacher. They saw the spectral cat every night, and though they didn't tell her what had happened, she seemed to know.
"Yes," he said. "Ran and Current, maybe?"
"Oh, um, yeah," the apprentice nodded slowly. "I asked them to keep quiet about it. Riverflower says I train too much."
"That's why we don't listen to Riverflower, hm?" Darkshadow purred and shook his head before they entered the camp. "Oh, it looks like Ripplestar is picking her Gathering troupe."
Ospreypaw perked up and stared at the leader. She sat with Eveningshell on the Daystones while the rest of the Clan gathered below, excitement and anticipation crackling through the air. They briefly wondered if they'd get chosen, and imagined seeing Falconstar and his underlings for the first time since the battle.
"Darkshadow," Ripplestar announced when she saw him. "Runningblaze, Current, Pool, Eelmask, Beaverpatch, and Webheart. Once you finish your tasks, make sure to eat and rest for the Gathering tonight."
"No Osprey?" Just as Ospreypaw felt their ears droop, Darkshadow stood taller with a quirked tail.
"They're obviously still grieving." Even though Ripplestar lowered her voice, Ospreypaw knew that everyone else could hear, and their ears burned with shame. "It would be best for them to remain in camp for the time being."
Ripplestar's eyes flicked toward Ospreypaw briefly, the intense amber hues boring into them. Ospreypaw couldn't help but roll their eyes; this was obviously rooted in her offense at an exchange they'd had only sunrises prior.
- - -
"Will they at least get their warrior names?" Ospreypaw begged the leader, staring at the rushing river.
"No." Ripplestar's voice fell flat. "I cannot give one a title they hadn't yet earned."
"But they died fighting for the Clan!" Ospreypaw said, digging their claws into the wet sand.
Behind them, Wavedance and Beaverpatch made small noises; urging the apprentice not to challenge Ripplestar, likely.
". . . I am sorry for your loss," Ripplestar said quietly. Ospreypaw turned and, when they saw her staring blankly across the river, they narrowed their eyes.
"You're sorry?" they echoed incredulously. "You sent them to their deaths. We've barely had any real battle experience, and you chose the worst fight yet to grant them that much. And on top of it all, you won't even give them the titles they earned."
"Osprey!" Wavedance hissed through her teeth.
Beaverpatch let out a quiet gasp, while Ripplestar didn't respond. She tore her eyes, now widened with shock, from the river to meet Ospreypaw's.
"Ugh," Ospreypaw let out a disgusted grunt and stormed away from the group. They stomped across the island, shoving their way through the undergrowth until they made it back to the camp. The elder warriors snuck pitying looks at them when they made it—it infuriated Ospreypaw almost as much as Ripplestar.
- - -
"Their brothers were murdered," Webheart's voice brought Ospreypaw back to the topic of the Gathering. They'd never heard him speak so plainly. "I'd be pretty damn upset, myself."
"I understand," Ripplestar said coolly, "and I intend to raise the subject tonight. Clearly, Falconstar is harboring murderers, and I won't simply let this go unaddressed. Ospreypaw shouldn't have to witness our discussions, though. I won't entertain this any further."
With a dismissive flick of her tail, Ripplestar hopped down from the Daystones with Eveningshell hot on her trail. The two mollies padded toward the edge of the camp, with the chosen cats slowly moving to finish their tasks. Darkshadow offered Ospreypaw a sympathetic glance before he joined Runningblaze and Currentpaw.
Ospreypaw sat where they stood with a thunk, watching their father join Wavedance with a bundle of twigs. The two brushed against each other before proceeding to reinforce the dens, starting with the nursery. Beaverpatch, along with attending as many patrols as possible, spent more and more free time helping with the den structures.
Webheart and Eelmask headed to the fresh-kill pile with Poolpaw, helping him pick out any stale fish while grabbing the freshest. Then, the trio took them to the elders' den, disappearing inside of it.
Do the elders even want that? they couldn't help but wonder. Sleekthistle hardly spoke a word anymore, and Reedtuft usually got fish for the both of them. He'd say something about preferring independence. Whatever that was supposed to mean.
A frame of blue fur blocked off their view of the elders' den. Ospreypaw bit back a sigh of exasperation at Riverflower's approach—they really didn't want to talk to her.
"You know, it may help you to talk about your feelings," the healer said quietly, not even offering a greeting. "I can help you, if you'll let me."
"Thanks, but no thanks," Ospreypaw retorted dryly.
As much as they tried, they couldn't keep the anger from seeping into their voice. Infuriated by her previous offer; if she had extended that to Splashpaw, they knew things would be different. Between Riverflower's coddling and Ripplestar's exclusion, they didn't know which cat to hate more.
With that, Ospreypaw flicked their tail and stalked to the apprentices' den. If they couldn't attend the Gathering, they'd just hide away in their den until morning. Every time a cat came in, they pretended to be fast asleep—it didn't matter if it was Wavedance, Beaverpatch, or Riverflower, they had no desire to talk to their kin or Clanmates. Even when the other apprentices stopped by before the Gathering, Ospreypaw ignored them. After a while, they grew bored of pretending to sleep and started actually trying to.
It would be far more productive to spend the night with Teacher.
By the time the Clan returned, their fur prickled with annoyance at their own unrest. This annoyance only increased when they heard a rustling noise at the den entrance, and detected the arrival of the other two apprentices.
"Os?" It was Currentpaw. He sounded tentative; unsure of his words. "I know you don't really wanna talk, but . . . well, I figured you'd want to hear about what happened. You are awake, right?"
Ospreypaw didn't respond. Not far away, they heard a deep thump and realized that Poolpaw had gone straight to his next. The lack of a second noise implied that Currentpaw stayed near the entrance of the den.
"Um . . . Ripplestar brought up the—that thing," Currentpaw continued, even without Ospreypaw's acknowledgement. "And Falconstar deflected it onto MistClan. He said we should all just follow our own code. Darkshadow—oh, I wish I had the nerve—told him he was talking about the murders of innocent apprentices. You know what Falconstar said?"
Again, Ospreypaw said nothing, though their spine tingled with unease. How could the charming Falconstar be so dismissive?
"He said, 'I'm talking about a tragic accident. These things happen.' Can you believe that?" Currentpaw lowered his voice dramatically, mocking Falconstar.
"If Ripplestar finds out you're talking about it—" Poolpaw's chastising voice drifted across the den.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Currentpaw muttered. "Anyways, NightClan seemed pretty torn over that. Fogsight, Ashenpeak, and their close group were obviously pretty supportive, but some of the others looked really uncomfortable. Also, BlazeClan openly declared our close alliance, so that's cool, I guess."
Ospreypaw kept their eyes screwed shut. Even with BlazeClan's support, life under NightClan's claws felt like a nightmare. They didn't care that not everyone was okay with Falconstar's actions. They still stood by and let it happen, and now, their brothers were dead. Gone.
"Oh," Currentpaw broke through Ospreypaw's negative thoughts, "Dunepaw and Mallowpaw say they miss you, and they hope you're doing okay. They're really worried about you."
I'll be fine, Ospreypaw thought angrily. As soon as everyone stops coddling me like some kit. I'll show them I'm no cat to mess with—Falconstar especially.