Sneaking into the main port was easier than expected. Many of the stalls in the market had shut down for the night whilst the others were in the process of closing. We didn't encounter any pesky merchants and the crowds had severely died down, making it easy for us to quickly pass through the area.
As we neared the tavern, we noticed the decrease in Agents patrolling the area. It was certainly a relief to see however one or two had lingered and constantly shifted their gaze into the shadows. Scaramouche and I glanced at one another warily, unsure of how to proceed. An idea formed in my head to which I placed a reassuring hand on the Harbinger's shoulder and took a sly step forward.
With the Agent's line of sight in the opposite direction, I raised my arm and made a motion of closing my fist as if gripping the fabric of the Fatuu's clothes. In a swift motion, the winds picked up around the Pyro Agent and he was lifted into the air, clutching his throat in silent agony. The oxygen that filled his lungs had been cut off and before anyone could notice, I quickly swiped my clenched fist to the left. Simultaneously, the Agent was thrown into the alleyway we had hidden in earlier. A muffled thud sounded as well as a pained groan but the impact had knocked him out clean.
With a quick glance back at Scaramouche for the green light to proceed, I was surprised to find him smiling at me with amusement.
"What is it? What's so funny?" I asked with a slowly growing smile.
"Nothing at all. It's my own fault for expecting you to act like a saint with your mighty status as the last wind spirit. Is committing crimes a common thing for you?" he replied with a little laugh.
I shrugged with a grin, a little too happy that he was showing me a casual and conversational side to him. It seems our earlier chat in the tree had loosened him up a little. Truthfully, I wished it would remain like this all the time. Of course, our squabbles were our signature thing but he was really good company when he wasn't in a bad mood. My opinion of him had definitely changed for the better; I only hoped it would continue to improve.
We stepped away from the corner and quickly headed to the grand double doors that allowed us entry into Djafar Tavern. A few people were sat on the tables outside, beneath the moonlight, however the drunken singing and loud chatting was coming from inside. The place seemed to be packed tonight. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?
Once we'd pushed through the doors and come out on the inside of the bustling building, we were stumped by humid air and dozens of people enjoying their time. The majority of the tables beneath the low lighting were taken and in the left corner a band played enthusiastically. My eyes lingered on the instruments and the joyous expressions on the people playing them before I was dragged into a corner by the hand.
"Let's go over the plan again," ordered Scaramouche.
I gave him a bored look. "Really? You made me repeat it to you three times on the way here. Come on, have a little faith in me."
"I want to, I really do. You are just so…"
"Bewitching?" I suggested with a smile.
"Unpredictable. Reckless. Untrustworthy. Talkative to a fault," he listed.
I glared at him and placed my hand over his mouth to stop him from continuing. He seemed to have a whole set of vocabulary prepared to describe all the ways I was incompetent. As much as I didn't want to admit it, his lack of trust in me was… hurtful. I wanted him to be confident that I had his back. I would do the most I could to follow through with his orders because no matter how much his description of me might have been accurate, I was still born to fulfill a purpose. And so far, I have continued to reach out and achieve that purpose.
"We get it, we get it. You can't trust me and that's understandable. To be honest, I hoped we might've gotten over that hurdle after the past couple of days of travelling together but it's… Expected," I paused. Pulling my hand away from his face, I huffed out a breath and crossed my arms. "My task is to remain inconspicuous and keep my winds around the room to collect any useful information. I am to keep an eye out for potential threats and wait for you to come to me when we are done here. Satisfied?"
Scaramouche searched my eyes for something before eyeing our surroundings and giving me a curt nod. At that, we parted and proceeded to go about completing our own respective parts of the plan. He intended to get himself a meeting with some of the Eremites here and buy any information he could get. He made a point of emphasising that his method of 'buying' didn't involve mora so I only hoped we wouldn't be chased out of this tavern for causing a scene. In the meantime, I was to remain on the sidelines and be his support. Shouldn't be too hard, right?
Well.
It would have been fine if I hadn't found myself on a stool at the bar where an array of drinks practically begged me to be tried. It was almost as if this one empty stool was destined to be occupied by myself.
I grinned at all the fine bottles of wine and the shining glasses that sparkled from behind the bartender. For some time, I really did follow the plan but it was a dull time and soon I was more than bored.
Glancing to my left and right, I noted all the various drinks in front of customers that sat untouched. My face twisted into a scowl at the reminder that my pockets were empty and I was here for an important reason that didn't involve drinking.
I sighed in despair and glanced at my right to the man who swirled the liquid in his glass with a distracted expression. He was tall and impossibly muscular. The black top hugged his six pack beautifully and I found myself studying his face intently. An Akasha terminal was present in his ear and he was dressed particularly formal for a night at the tavern. The silver of his hair contrasted the sage green of his eyes. If it weren't for the grim expression pulled onto his features, he might have been more appealing. He looked academic and rich.
"Is there a reason for your staring?" he asked without turning to me.
"No. I just want your drink if you're going to keep swirling it and glaring at it instead of actually drinking it." My answer was so honest he seemed to deem me worthy enough to look at.
The gentleman regarded me with a concealed expression, running his gaze up and down me before zeroing in on my face with narrowed eyes. Some form of recognition clicked into his eyes and I felt an uneasy sensation under my skin.
"You're that girl in those wanted posters everywhere," he informed me.
"What a keen observation," I retorted.
"You're not even going to deny it?"
"Why would I? You're not drunk enough to fool," I said with a nonchalant shrug.
"What if I told you I was going to hand you into the Fatui Agents outside? The reward is quite enticing."
"Ha! You can sure try," I snorted. "Besides, what do you need money for anyway? You're already wealthy enough."
At this, he tensed. The smirk on my face grew as my intimidation strategy was put into play. Whilst he was busy talking down his nose to me, I was being given information on him by the whispering winds. They handed over all sorts of secrets and details about him that I could use to my advantage
"What makes you think I'm wealthy?" he asked with a casual tone.
His eyes were back on his drink in attempts to conceal his growing uneasiness. It was futile. He had fallen into my trap now. Even his eyes couldn't entirely cloak his wariness.
"Well, Al Haitham, you’re quite well connected around here aren’t you? Not to mention your job as a scribe for the Akademiya probably gets you a hefty sum. By the way, how's your roommate Kaveh doing? It was only recently that he moved in and he already seems fed up with you," I said with a little chuckle.
Al Haitham set the glass down slowly and turned his head to face me. His expression was intimidating and ruthless which I might've found scary if I didn't have the upper hand. I knew he was adept with the sword and he had a dendro vision but either way, he wouldn't be able to harm me. Besides, there was only one thing I wanted from him.
"Somehow, I feel as if I'm being threatened. Might I remind you that you are the wanted criminal here? If there is something you want from me, I'd rather you come out and say it before I alert the Agents outside. Or perhaps the Eremites in here would like to hand you in themselves," threatened Al Haitham.
I only grinned at him and inclined my head to the side with amusement. "Such a cold attitude. Not everything is a threat, Al Haitham. There's only one thing I want from you."
"And that is?"
"Pay for all my drinks tonight of course! You see, I'm broke. Not a penny in my pocket! Unfortunate, right?" I said with a sad nod. "My companion here would likely refuse to spend a single mora on me, so seeing as you're so wealthy… You wouldn't mind extending some generosity to someone like me, would you?"
"Someone like you? You mean, a wanted criminal convicted with treason against the Archon of Snezhnaya as well as one of the largest factions in Teyvat. Oh no, not at all. Please allow me to get involved with you and possibly become an accomplice," he responded sarcastically.
"Look, I know how risky you might think this is. But nobody knows I'm in Sumeru, let alone in this tavern. You only recognised me because you are more intelligent and significantly less drunk than the rest of the geezers here. What are the chances someone will really notice me in the midst of this chaos? I know a whole lot more secrets than just who you bunk with Haitham. Don't make me expose your embarrassing stories," I joked.
The scribe watched me sceptically before sighing in defeat and calling the bartender over.
"Put all her purchases on my tab," he demanded.
The bartender nodded happily and proceeded to take my order of a bottle of dandelion wine directly from Dawn Winery. I almost cried at the sight of the bottle and its contents. As I uncorked it and downed the liquid, the familiar flavour dazzled my taste buds. I couldn't help but smile and hug the bottle to my chest.
"You're going to drink all of that?" asked Al Haitham with concern.
"And more! You don't understand how long I've been deprived of this. I practically owe my sanity to you sir. Apologies for the bill in advance," I said, not taking my eyes off the bottle.
He sighed exasperatedly but didn't protest. In the midst of my drinking spree, I had regretfully forgotten about my purpose of being here. By the time I was done with the first bottle, a second one and some complimentary shots were sitting in front of me waiting to be consumed. All the while, Al Hatiham frowned down at his drink, taking small sips every now and again. He spared me just a few worried and weary looks but chose not to bother me.
I had a high tolerance to alcohol but it seems the six years without it had put me out of practice. Whilst my winds continued to feed me information about what was going in the background, I was beginning to feel the wacky effects of all the wine I'd consumed. My set task was forgotten in the buzz of alcohol that clouded my brain. Eventually, I'd grown bored of sitting at the bar with the dull and dry atmosphere that radiated off of Al Haitham.
I mumbled an incoherent goodbye as I jumped off the stool happily and bounded over to where a small crowd of drunken men and women clapped and danced. Seeing them so animated and excited only heightened the jolt of joy in my veins. I joined them with a little wobble and looked over their heads to identify the source of their happiness.
My eyes dazzled with stars at the sight of the band playing skillfully. I laughed out loud and clapped at the music they created. It was so unique and exotic. They were using various drums and strings and tambourines and guitars and flutes. Such gorgeous tunes flowed from this corner; I couldn't resist pushing through the small crowd till I was right at the front and watching the notes leave the instruments.
As the song came to a close, I waved at the man using the guitar with a bright smile and a giggle. My drunken nature was even more reckless than my normal self. Scaramouche would have a fit if he saw me. What was it he had asked me to do again? I'm sure it wasn't important, after all he didn't trust me enough to do anything actually useful.
That single thought banished any sense of responsibility within me. Scaramouche couldn't trust me as far as he could throw me. For that reason, there was no point trying to prove him wrong. It had been too long where I could just unravel and experience the silly joys of life.
"You're dressed like a musician! Might I assume you know how to play an instrument?" asked the guitarist over the ruckus.
The grin on my face widened to a full fledged smile. I nodded quickly as he motioned for me to join him up on the stage. I didn't hesitate to do so despite the sudden bad feeling in my gut.
"What can you play?"
"Anything really! I've had a long, long, long time to practice. Like, literally centuries," I replied with a loopy laugh.
It was obvious I was drunk out of my mind so my answer wasn't taken seriously by him. In fact his face was slightly hazy and seemed to split into more and more images of him until I really focused my vision. I'm kinda… sleepy.
"Well then, take your pick! We have many instruments over here to choose from," he said, gesturing to the instruments lined against the wall.
In the end, I picked my lyre over the enticing instruments due to the adjustment of weight I'd have to get used to with the properties of my body. I knew I couldn't expose my true nature here but that was about all I remembered. My entire life was built on protecting my identity; being drunk would never make me forget what I really am and how I could never be as human as the people around me. I could only pretend.
The bad feeling from earlier came back the moment I turned and faced the handful of people below that watched with eager eyes. A scene like this usually would have encouraged me to play like I was on the grandest stage performing for royalty but now… I was feeling queasy and nauseous. Why did it feel like I was breaking a rule by standing here?
Suddenly, the lights were too bright and it felt too stuffy in here. My legs wobbled a little bit and my hands gripped the lyre till my knuckles were stiff with tension. I tried blinking the discomfort away but upon opening my eyes, I caught a pair of eyes across the room. Alarm flashed in those oddly familiar navy eyes before the man disappeared from his position in the chaos.
I frowned to myself, wondering why that seemed like something I should be worrying about. My fingers were itching to play the lyre but I felt a force within me that told me to think this through. What was it that seemed so important?
The voices and sounds around me warped until they were distant muffles. I stared down at the ground, trying to stop the oncoming headache and ringing in my ears. Another flash of light in front of me had me releasing the lyre entirely and covering my eyes.
Suddenly, I felt like crying. I loved wine and the feeling of being a little loopy from drinking too much. But it was only enjoyable with Venti and my companions. Right now, it felt… lonely and scary. I could hardly think straight. Where was Scaramouche?
I don't like this feeling… I need something familiar. I feel alone. Help. Help me.
Even so, I couldn't bring myself to talk or do anything. Someone's gentle hands pulled my arms down and away from my face. A gasp left my lips at the sudden action. I blinked slowly as my eyes adjusted to the harsh lighting once again. My attempt to focus on the person in front of me was proving difficult.
The man waved his hand in my face a few times before my eyes connected with his. I frowned and blinked a few more times before things seemed to return to almost normal.
"Can you hear me? What's the matter with you?" he asked with concern but also irritation.
The corners of my lips tugged down at his tone. I felt as if I'd done something terribly wrong and disappointing him only made me feel worse. My gaze dropped to the floor as I stared at my hands and the lyre still hovering on the air in between us.
The navy eyed man took my chin between his fingers and tilted my head back up to see him once more. He'd taken a step closer till all the sounds around us had dulled and all I could see, smell and hear was Scaramouche.
"Were you going to play for them with your lyre?" he inquired quietly.
I nodded guiltily. It was still difficult to recall why I felt that guilt.
"Do you remember what I asked of you when we formed our partnership?" he said.
I frowned to myself and tried to sort through all the things he had told me that were significant. It didn't take long to recall his request seeing as it was quite an interesting moment between us.
‘I have no need for the instrument. Play it only for me and our deal is sealed.'
The remembering of our deal was likely visible in my expression as my eyes widened at him. Scaramouche nodded slowly before glancing down at the lyre I was only moments away from playing.
Releasing the instrument from its physical form, it disintegrated into green particles.
"I'm… I'm sorry. I'm so sorry," I whispered and stuttered, suddenly on the verge of tears.
Scaramouche watched me with a confused expression. He let go of my chin and cupped my cheek, bringing me closer to him by the waist. My head was pressed against his chest and any nausea I felt moments ago melted away. This quiet, safe haven in his arms was like a soft blanket that I never wanted to leave. I shut my eyes and attempted to slow my breathing and focus. The Harbinger's hand ran over my hair and down my back slowly and tenderly.
"You're drunk, aren't you? Where did you even get the money for the alcohol?" he asked with disappointment.
"A nice man over there paid for it after I threatened him nicely," I admitted in a quiet voice.
Scaramouche frowned before turning his head and meeting the gaze of Al Haitham, who happened to be suspiciously watching the ordeal from the start. Only now did I realise we were still on the stage where a performance was about to begin. I bit my lip nervously and shook my head sadly at the kind guitarist from earlier who only nodded with understanding before informing the crowd of a delay in the performance. Looking back up at Scaramouche, I registered the murderous scowl he sent towards Al Haitham who only shrugged indifferently and returned his bored gaze to the bar.
Within moments, I felt that tingling zap of electricity in my blood and we were out of the tavern. Having escaped the ghastly, suffocating atmosphere, I felt relief beyond words. But I also felt exhaustion beyond words. Immediately, I sagged against Scaramouche and my legs gave out beneath me.
"Woah, careful there. Seriously, how much did you drink? You can't even stand up," he commented with concern.
"Huh? I… I can't remember. What day is it again? Hey… Is that an Aranara over there? Ha! Look how cute!" I babbled. "Why is it so hot out here? Scaramouche? I think I left something behind…"
I looked up, finding him already watching me with about 5 inches between us. Staring into his eyes was captivating and shut me up immediately. It likely had something to do with the alcohol but suddenly I couldn't look away. I wanted to never look away. I wanted him to only look at me like that and I wanted to drown. To drown in those eyes that felt as if they were begging for something. I wanted to give him whatever it was that he wanted because it looked like it was hurting him.
I reached up and soothed the frown between his brows before running a hand over his cheek softly. He seemed to grimace as if he was hesitant but soon, he relented. The Harbinger leaned into my touch and searched my face with a raw expression. I loved the vulnerability in that look. It felt like he'd only ever shown a face like this to me. A sense of protectiveness overcame and suddenly I wanted to hold him in my arms and stitch up any wounds he still suffered.
"You left your sense of responsibility behind perhaps? How could you be so careless?" he sighed as he pressed his forehead against mine and shut his eyes.
"Usually I could drink loooooads before I can't walk straight. I don't know why it didn't work this time," I said more to myself than to him. "Are you mad? I am sorry. I didn't mean to forget. I really do only want to play for you. It just felt so normal to play for a crowd that I forgot. I'm sorry…"
He sighed again, an action I was beginning to hate with the way it seemed as if I were the cause of it. Pulling back to view my entire face, he cupped my cheek and regarded me with a regretful expression.
"That's not what I'm angry about. You put yourself in danger by drinking so much, idiot. Imagine what would have happened if you passed out and I couldn't find you. Something bad might've happened. Why couldn't you just keep yourself out of trouble just this once?" spoke Scaramouche hopelessly. "I know you're sorry. It had more to do with the alcohol than yourself really. For now, it's best we get out of here. The Fatui Agents should come patrolling around here soon. Can you walk just a little bit further till we are out of direct danger?"
I only just realised that he was practically holding me up entirely. His arm around my waist and my back against the wall were all that kept me standing. I wasn't content to move out of his warm embrace any time soon. Not to mention the fact that my eyes were struggling to stay open.
"Hey, you can't sleep here Y/N. Hello? Keep your eyes open, come on. Ugh… Fine. I'll carry you," he decided.
With a bit of a struggle, I ended up riding on Scaramouche's back with mind numbing fatigue that barely kept me holding on. Nevertheless, being so close to him that I could feel his soft hair against my cheek and smell his clean scent had me hugging his neck tightly. I rested my head on his shoulder, in the crook of his neck.
He seemed to tense a little bit before glancing at me out of the corner of his eyes and swallowing whatever he was about to say. Instead, I chose to fill the silence. A little laugh came from my lips that seemed to make Scaramouche curious.
"What's so funny?"
"You've never called me by my name before. It's always 'Oi you' or just 'bard'," I said with another laugh. "I love it when you call me by my name."
I knew how embarrassed my sober self would be after she found out I was admitting this stuff out loud, no matter how quiet. As far as Scaramouche was concerned, I had very unpleasant opinions of him but now, I was admitting to loving the way my name sounded on his tongue. I doubted I'd ever live this down.
"You shouldn't have told me that," he whispered back.
"Why?"
"Because now I want to say it all the time. I think I love saying your name just as much as you love to hear it."
How strange. That wasn't the response I was expecting. Come to think of it, he had been countering my expectations all day today.
Something inside of me fluttered happily at his words. At the time, it didn't really register to me how impactful they were. It was just a conversation I would likely forget upon waking up.
"Speaking of names, can I call you Kuni?" I asked with a mischievous giggle into his neck.
"No. Absolutely not," he stated firmly.
I laughed out loud this time. "Aw… why not? Kunikizushi is my favourite name for you. And you have sooooo many. I wish you would let me call you that. Why won't you?"
"Are you willing to exchange a truth in return for this one?"
"Mhm."
"Because… When you call me by my real name, it makes me forget what my purpose is. It makes me want to ditch all the plans I've made over the years and just… Walk by your side till the end of the world. You say it so naturally and beautifully like it was given to me only to be called by you. In fact, I sort of wish it was," answered Scaramouche quietly.
"You can if you want to."
"Huh?"
"Walk to the end of the world with me," I explained.
He paused for a second to contemplate my words before replying with a question. "Your turn to give me a truth."
"Ask away."
"Do you actually hate me as much as you claim?" asked Scaramouche hesitantly.
I smiled against his neck and exhaled. "Hmm… Nope! I only ‘hated’ you because you always looked at me like I was a gross bug on the floor. I never knew what I did wrong and you never thought to tell me so I just assumed we were those people that disliked each other immediately for no reason haha. It wasn’t a very fun game though… I thought you were really cool at first. I hoped you might be friendly because the winds seemed calm around you but it was just six years of no positive interactions…”
He took his time responding. Scaramouche seemed very hesitant but the night was long and nothing had gone exactly right that day. It wouldn’t hurt to go even further in the wrong direction. “If you knew what I really thought of you, I would never have allowed you to come along with me. You’re dangerous, Y/N. Dangerous for someone like me who wants to sever any human emotions that chain me down. With you so close, I am struggling. I've been struggling for a long time. I had no choice but to push you as far away as possible because otherwise… Well. The outcome would be very different to how I predicted the future would be.”
I didn’t quite understand what he was saying. His words were clear in the crisp silence as we distanced ourselves from the port yet I struggled to dissect his words. ‘If you knew what I really thought of you’ seemed to stick out for me. I wanted to ask, I wanted all the answers. Unfortunately, my tongue had begun to feel heavy and I couldn’t bring myself to keep my eyes open.
“I don’t really get what you’re saying but I hope you’ll tell me again when I am in my right mind,” I whispered.
With the last remaining drop of consciousness within me, I pressed my lips to the side of his neck where his pulse beat and whispered a thank you. Why did I thank him? I can’t remember. It doesn’t matter either way. Something in me compelled me to be grateful. It felt necessary.
Because sometimes, you don't need a reason to be thankful. Merely existing is enough. And I hoped one day, someone might think the same way about me. For now, I'd settle with giving this privilege to Scaramouche. Scaramouche, who had somehow earned it.
A/N
Bit of a rly late upload but school has been piling work on me and I srsly wasnt expecting it to be this hectic. I'm getting by though. I hope this chapter is satisfactory, I was a little bit unsure about it but it's supposed to be a bit of development via words. I hope you enjoy and tysm for 1k reads on this. You're all a treasure to me <3