*WARNING* Mature Content Ahead. If you are not old enough or comfortable with the scene, skip and read ahead. Comment if you want me to add a summary of what was missed during the explicit scene. There is no sex. It is only an intense make out. WARNING*
Nico P.O.V.
We would have liked to say nothing changed, that nothing had happened. We wished we could all go back and be happy. We would have loved to forget, to move on in peace... but we can't . Not anymore. After other battles, maybe yes. You got attacked, you killed a few monsters, you had dinner and laughed with friends. A typical day for us demigods. You lost a few but in the end, your family was still there. You always had a support. You could always move on. But how can someone move on from this?
We were, well are, in shambles. Even the newer, inexperienced children and campers could sense the unease and feel the tension. All of us were affected by the somber and grieving air, but the survivors of both wars were affected the most. There were no jokes to be had and all jovial life soon died down, weighed by the losses suffered. The counselors were desperately trying to keep it together, all grieving their siblings, friends, and leaders while putting on a brave face. At least they have each other. Even though I was "one of them", that title and role didn't fit me. In all honesty, it just kinda happened. Hazel left and I became the only son of Hades again, but most of all, I was powerful. Hopefully, I was strong enough to protect them until Percy returned. If he returned at all that is.
I was surprised when people started coming to me for support and guidance. While many still fear me, they all respect me. My power. My father. But if they really respect me, truly care and see me, maybe I'll never know. I was a leader to them now, a connection to both the dead and Percy. Only, no one really sees anything. They are so wrapped up in their own grief that they can no longer see the suffering and pain of their siblings. They don't see how their little brothers and sister are so confused and lost and clueless. I felt I was one of the few who could relate, seeing as how a long time ago I was in a similar predicament. But I was rescued. Here, we're lucky to mot be drowning. Thus why I've barely spoken a word. Every day I've walked along the ocean shore without a sound. Just like today.
This loneliness we feel, this pain...it's nothing compared to what Percy has and is enduring.
He had been so strong. After the battle we all expected him to shut down. Or explode in a fit of rage. We expected him to give up because that's what we would have done. But he never did. He held Annabeth and then collapsed. And the Gods took him, leaving us in the dark. Some rumors flew around about what happened to him, but there was never any confirmation. Some say he didn't attend the funerals but I knew he did. I could sense him. That amount of raw sorrow and rage couldn't be ignored by one so close to death. After a while he returned, but he wasn't the same. He was staying with his mom more and taking on quest after quest, but he never forgot the campers. Whenever he was there, it seemed to be his mission to make them smile and protect them. That only hurt us more because we all knew he really wanted to cry. That is, until he went to his mom's house and hadn't returned since.
Chiron said it was a quest, one only he could complete. The centaur refused to say anymore, and he refused to answer their questions about what happened to him. So after a few days, the survivors and counselors decided to take up the mantle he left for us. We all tried to raise morale, we all took up teaching duties. We became the parents to our siblings. We created a support system. Somehow, I got dragged into the heart of it.
I had just finished training the more advanced campers some of the battle techniques Percy had taught me. It wears me down. The socializing, the pretending. The facade I try to keep up is too much. I have a bitter understanding and appreciation of Percy now that I am in his place. I went through Tartarus too... How did Percy do it? How didn't he break? If I was angry before, it's nothing compared to how I am now. I am just so angry. Brooding, grieving and angry. Angry at Gaea. Angry at me. Angry at Percy. Angry at the fucking gods and fates for choosing him. There were other children of the Big Three, why did it always have to be him?
Obviously, my questions could never be answered because they all revolved around the past. But I would still try to think and oddly enough, there were a few spots around camp that were perfectly tranquil. I've found that one of my favorite spots is the ocean. Every time I go to there, I'm blasting heavy music, music with curses, screams; music of rage and pain. Sometimes I'll scream out too. I'll cuss out the sky, scream at the ocean. It's very therapeutic. But the music speaks where words never could. Cliché yes, but still true. It is my voice. But for some reason, I played songs I thought could be Percy's voice. The songs of a story: Percy's story. It had taken me a long time but, I had finally created a playlist that reminded me of my brother, my friend, and my past crush. Yes, I admit it. I had a crush on Percy when I was younger. Who wouldn't? The man is a fucking God now for Furies sake. Not that any of the other campers know that for certain.
As I walked past the cabins with my head hung low, I fought back whatever outburst my body wanted to release. I didn't know what to do, so I did nothing. I'd suffer in silence like always. As I reached the sand, I paused. The ocean used to be vibrant and lively but now- now it looked dead. They sky and ocean were the same dull gray, the horizon line nearly invisible. There were no waves, only the gentle lapping of shifting water at the shore. As a son of Hades, I had never truly appreciated the water because of my fear. But after knowing Percy, I began to see beyond the danger. I saw how beautiful it was in its freedom. My domain does not have that freedom. My domain is that of inevitability. All things have an end but the ocean? It's full of possibilities and teeming with life. It's very nature is versatile and untamed which made the grief it's displaying all the more depressing. Reluctant as I am to admit it, I miss the raging white-wash, the surf-able waves and the playful dolphins. I am not ashamed to say I miss it, but if anyone asked I would deny it. The way the seas were acting, it was almost as if Percy was dead. But I guess, in a way, Percy is.
I slowly slipped my shoes off and threw my socks next to them. I bent down, my headphone wire dropping as I bent forward. I took the coarse fabric of my black jeans and rolled it up past my pale ass ankles. Then I walked. At first I walked towards the water, until I felt the cool comfort of its grasp tickling my toes.That was my limit. Anymore and I'd drown. After a few simple breaths I was off, losing myself in thought and music as I walked along our sanctuary. It's become a habit for me. For some reason, the silence relaxes me. But only by the ocean. Any other type of silence terrifies me, bringing flashbacks of Tartarus I would rather keep buried to the surface of my mind. I need a silence with life, with nature. The silence of isolation is too suffocating for me. Always has been.
I was numb. The cold brisk wind went unrecognized by my skin. I didn't feel cold. I didn't feel warm. I was nothing. Felt nothing. How can one feel when they are dead inside? Is this how Percy feels? Having to lock away all emotion to stay strong for others? Does anyone even notice? Does anyone even care about that? They all treated us as if we were heroes for surviving Tartarus but none of them took the time to consider what actually sucking happened down there.
It wasn't until a recognizable piano intro blasted through to my ears that I stopped walking. I paused, unsure if I wanted to play this song but as the voice started singing, I let it play. I love this song but yet, I hate it. I hate it because it makes me feel.
Everything in our world breaks. Everything falls to pieces. Things that are built to be strong. Things built to protect us. No matter what, no matter when, they all break.
Skyscrapers. Bridges. Dams. People. Heroes. Friends. Souls. Everything fucking breaks.
But Percy and I, we shatter. It's bitter but it's true. There is always something, someone with the power to destroy even the toughest , most reliable of things to shreds. There is always something bigger. Always something stronger. There will always be something that will bring irreversible, heart-wrenching damage and pain. And eventually, we will weaken, and they will destroy.
Howling winds screaming in their fury. Needle rain piercing your skin in icy torrents. Fire, consuming all in its path with no hesitation. Nature itself is an agent of destruction.
Don't you see? Even if we fight back, even if we try hard enough, anything and everything will break. Shatter. Crack. Boom. Gone. Done and done.
The reason why I hate this song is because it makes me break. This song is me, my words and thoughts brought out into the world. I hate it because it makes me feel human, which is something I refused to do. I made that decisions years ago when the Nazis began to invade Italy.
(A/N: I really, really suggest you listen to the song, whether while you read, or separately, or both I don't care. But you DO NEED to hear it. Brother by Falling in Reverse)
Brother why'd you have to go....
You left us all so soon...
I clenched my jaw as I felt my anger reignite. Why did you leave us Percy? Why? We needed you. We still need you. You're gone. They're gone. Just...please....come back to us. We are struggling, we are grieving. But, without you, we are all lost. So just come fucking back.
Remember that song I wrote about your family years ago,
well they're waiting for you to come home...
I know it hurts, we all do. But isn't hurting together better then hurting alone?
What do I do? What do I say?
When dad tells me to pray?
Well I prayed and prayed but the hurt won't go away...
The pain gets worse, it never stops
and I've asked the Lord for us to swap.
If I could, I would switch places with Annabeth. I would. Trade my useless, unimportant life for the soul of his fiancee. I would bring Annabeth back in a heartbeat. Anything. Just to try and bring back our Seaweed Brain. That's a worthy trade. Two for the price of one, and everyone would benefit.
I beg and plead 'cuz you have kids to feed...
We need a leader, a true leader. I am nothing compared to you. None of the counselors are and we know that. You might not know it or accept it but you are idolized here as the only true Hero of Greece. The new demigods need an example, someone they can aspire to be. We are all nothing compared to you. None of us have survived the trials you have. Who better to teach them how to live and survive than you who's been through it all?
Why is it always stormy weather?
And brother, tell me if it all gets better.
Why did you leave?
Why did you die?
You finally made your brother cry.
I know your'e watching over us tonight...
I hope you're watching over us tonight...
I didn't even try to stop my tear as they fell. That's why I kept this song. To feel, to feel that emotion. I don't want to be dead inside though I hate feeling weak.
I'm sorry I missed your call.
I wasn't there for you at all.
And now I've thought through,
that maybe if I answered you,
then you would still be here all along....
If only I had gotten there sooner. If only I had caught you before you fell back into the pit. If only I had reached Annabeth's body sooner. Maybe I could have done something. I know I could have done something. Why? Why, out of all the people? Out of all of us who have suffered, why you? I stifled a sob, the guilt crushing me as I collapsed on the sand, wrapping arms around my knees.
Now no more calls,
Can't you see...
I took for granted family.
And once they're gone, you'll never get that back...
Bianca. Hazel. Annabeth. Jason. Frank. Leo. Piper. Percy. All of them are gone in some way. I have no one any more. For once I felt accepted. I felt needed. I felt wanted but now, now that I had begun to value those connections...they were torn form me. I don't know what to do and that terrifies me.
No more laughs,
no more hugs...
So hold onto the ones you love.
Your should is free...
I love you Anthony....
Not just me. The whole camp misses them. The Stolls no longer prank. Hell, it's a miracle when you get them to smile. Percy might as well be dead. He's never here for us anyway. Not anymore.
And why is it always stormy weather?
And brother...tell me when does it get better!
Why did you leave?
Why did you die?
You finally made your brother cry...
I know you're watching over from above....
So hold onto the ones you love....
I-I just couldn't. I clung onto my knees, my nails digging into my skin. My body shook as sobs came hiccuping from my mouth. I hated feeling this weak, I hated this vulnerable ache. I didn't like it, this pain in my chest., the burning. It was a burning that came up to my eyes, clutching my heart. I ached. I physically hurt and I had no idea what from.
I guess it was just my turn to break.
"Oh Neeks....come here my little soldier." I barely registered the soft, caring voice coming from behind me. I just kept on crying. I felt two muscular arms wrap themselves around my waist, the hands locking beneath my knees. They shifted, pulling me onto the person's lap as he cradled me. I didn't open my eyes. I knew who it was. I turned my head into his chest as I silently cried, taking in his comforting scent as I curled up on him.
He didn't say anything as I snuggled into his arms absorbing his warmth. He only rubbed my back, gently drawing circles along my spine which sent pleasurable tingles down my system. We stayed like that for a while: me sitting in his lap as he waited patiently for me to calm down and get comfortable.
"What has you so troubled huh? It's been a while since I last saw you cry..." I had to bite my lips to keep back a moan as his breath tickled my ears, arching my neck as he placed a gentle kiss by my jaw. He chuckled at my reaction, his chest vibrating with the sound. It always shocked me how joyous he always seemed despite everything. I just shook my head at his question. Damn this vulnerability! I was caught between depression and arousal, a torturous mixture of emotion that I couldn't process.
"Come on. Let me in little one. Let me heal that bleeding heart of yours" I looked up into his eyes. They were a clear crystal blue, ablaze with determination. Striking in contrast to my dead, dull black eyes. I could never get tired of those eyes. I weakly smiled, a pathetic attempt on my part to seem happy. He could see through it. He always did.
"Just regrets Sunshine....just regrets..." He shifted, his hand pulling my face to look back at him. I wanted to shift away but he, he wouldn't let me.
"Don't give me that cryptic shit DiAngelo. I just got you back. I am not going to let this go. You are killing yourself! Can't you see that?! Gods!! Nico! Love, stop hiding, stop running! It hurts me to see you like this! For weeks I've been trying to talk to you! Please....just let me in love..." I shook out of his desperate embrace, emotions raged inside of me. I inhaled, clenching and unclenching my fists as I started pacing.
"I could have stopped it! I could have saved her! I can save her! A soul for a soul! A trade. One who has escaped Death for a soul of the dead! I can save her...in exchange for me! It is my fault! I could have done something! I could have-I-I don't know but there must have been something I could've done to save them, any of them! God-Agh!!! I just-I don't know! I don't- I can't! I can't take it anymore! I can't! These feelings-I don't know what to do with them! I'm not used to this pain! And I can't let you in. Don't you see? I can't. Emotions...love...trust...I am dead. I'm already dead! My body just has to catch up with me...." I was whipped around, colliding with a solid body of rock. I stood there in shock as he buried his head in my neck, taking in deep breaths, gripping on me for life. His body shook as he cried. I was stunned. I could feel the tear drops gliding down my neck and collar bone but I couldn't understand. Why? Why would he cry for me?
"Why can't you see....Each breath, each blessed breath you take is a sign you are alive. Each breath is filled with the purpose of keeping you alive Nico. Do you really believe you won't be m-missed? Are you that s-suicidal that you would forsake your- your own soul? How would Percy feel? He would never let you make that sacrifice...and what about...what about me...? Would you really l-leave me? I- I love- Gods Nico.....can't you see what you're doing to me?"
I stood there in silence, guilt crashing on me as I took in his words. Both said and unspoken. His voice had gotten cough in his throat, thick with pain. His ending words were just whispers and he sounded so broken, like his soul was being ripped away.
"Will..." My voice was thick, heavy. Weak. Emotional. Broken. His head shot up at my whisper, his eyes lit a flame with unnamable passion, his eyes red from his tears and his cheek still damp. Before I could say anything else, he grabbed the back of my neck, pulling my head towards his.
His lips crashed on mine, totally dominating, allowing no resistance from me. It was tantalizing, a hypnotic rhythm that had me breathless as he massaged his lips against mine. He wrapped his arms around my back, crushing my small frame against his muscular one. His left hand snaked down and cupped my butt, eliciting a gasp from me. We'd never kissed like this before.
He took that opportunity I gave him, surging his tongue forward into my mouth, teasing mine. I couldn't help myself. I just melted under his touch. This wasn't like the gentle, innocent kisses we shared before. This was primal. Dominant. Emotional. I could feel his desperation, the fear and the love he felt for me. He was trying to convey his feelings and I returned the kiss with equal passion, throwing my thoughts into the wind. I weaved my hands into his hair, soaking him in. We needed this, we needed each other. In his arms, I was safe. I was loved. I was home. We battled each other, trying to tell each other...what? I don't know... but I loved this new connection we felt.
My body was aflame. Every swipe of his hand against my skin left a trail of sizzling, sparkling tingles, goose bumps effortlessly appearing. I moaned as his hands lifted my shirt, running his palms across my stomach, tracing my abs. He moaned back, making me smirk. Looks like I am not the only one affected. I tore his jacket away, grasping his arms as he tugged on my thighs. I jumped up, wrapping my legs around his torso. I was aroused and so was he, the rough friction between us frustrating while arousing. I rolled my hips, rubbing us together as I bucked. His breath caught, his gasps turning into pants of carnal lust. He flipped us over, my back slamming into the sand as he forced me down. I groaned, whether from the pain or the lust I felt I do not know.
"Don't-agh Nico...ah...Don't tempt me little one." His voice was thick, husky. I nearly moaned at how he sounded, but I knew that if I did, it would push him over the edge. Neither of us were ready for that yet. His arms were planted at the sides of my head, caging me underneath him. I could tell how much he was trying to hold back, to control himself for my sake. His body was tense, his expression tortured as I lay panting below. He rubbed his nose across my neck and chin, planting feathery kisses as I rubbed his growing member inquisitively. He growled in response, covering my hands with his, rubbing us both together through our pants. I didn't know what came over me.
Just moments before, I had been holding back trying not to push too far. We were never sexual with our actions, aside from a few teases or snarky comments. In our relationship I was always submissive, always hesitant. It was him who showed romantic interest or emotion. I was never verbal with my feelings. But with him...with him I was home. I was weird but, he was my light. In my hour of darkness, he came. He always comes.
"What was that? Just...huh...wow...I had no idea you could be like that." I smiled shyly at his words, the high slowly ebbing away. I was panting as well, trying to think of anything but the throbbing of my nether regions. This was the farthest we had ever gone together, but I wouldn't let us go any farther. This was our first make-out. The first time I had initiated anything farther and certainly our first fairly sexual encounter. Every other intimate interaction we had were simple, innocent kisses. This- this was a whole other level, one Will had never tried to force me into before.
"That was me answering you." I replied, my response breathless as I tried to process all that just happened. He smiled down, pecking my lips softly as a gentle 'I love you' and s soft reminder of his presence before he pulled away from me. I almost whimpered at the loss of his heat but his arms quickly circled around me, pulling me in for a hug as we both sat up.
"I told you before Nico. No more Underworld-y stuff, doctor's orders. You. Owe. Me. A week's worth of time. In the infirmary. Or your cabin, whichever. With you. And me. Alone. Starting now my dear one. No more talk of you dying or disappearing. I would-I couldn't go on without you. I've-we've lost so many...I can't lose you too." I looked down, avoiding his tortured gaze. Damn his hold over me.
"Come on."
"Where are we going?"
"I told you. Bed rest starts now. Sexy doctor's orders..."
"Bu-"
"-Ahhaha. No buts. No arguments. You are sick, emotionally and physically. You need rest Nico. I'm not just saying that for my...personal benefit."
I looked down. "Okay. Let's go. It's getting dark anyway." He nodded, confirming my snowier before standing up. I followed suit, grabbing his hand as we began walking. I felt him tense up in surprise but thankfully he didn't say anything. We walked like that all the way back to my cabin. It was dark by then, the dining hall ablaze as dinner was being served. He opened my cabin door, undisturbed by its gloomy atmosphere and unkept mess. He scooped me up, smiling softly as I squealed. My traitor cheeks burst into flames, no doubt cherry red as I thought of was his lips had been doing not even five minute ago. He chuckled, no doubt enjoying my embarrassment. He laid me down on my bed, tucking me in before laying on top of my sheets, spooning me as I molded into him. Hs arm wrapped itself around my waist, another peck placed on the back of my neck.
"Go to sleep my soldatino...." I paused, flashbacks rushing through my head at that word.
"c-can you...umm...could you sing me the song? You know...the one Bian-"
"Your lullaby? Of course I can. There is nothing I wouldn't do for you." I blushed at the raw love lacing his voice, the pure trust and devotion. I would never admit this to him but I loved the sound of his voice. It took me a long time to trust him with Bianca's lullaby for me but I didn't regret it. I had a piece of her back, and a piece of him joining with me.
He started humming softly, tracing patterns into my hair before he began to softly sing. (A/N: Play the video on the side)
Close your eyes, I know what you see.
The darkness is high, and you're in ten feet deep.
Though we've survived more terrible monsters than sleep,
You know I will be here to tell you to breathe.
Tu sei il mio soldatino.
La ragione per cui vivo.
Non ti scordar di me.
Io vegliero su di te.
Stumbling lost, the last choice of all that you'll meet.
It's the cost, of ruling those 'neath your feet.
Paths you've crossed and trust you're trying to keep...
You're exhausted, listening for a voice that can't speak...
Ma Nico, mio caro.
Tu sei il mio soldatino.
La ragione ho vissuto.
Non ti scordar di me.
Io vegliero su di te.
So you run, through shadows you roam.
Seems undone by the love you thought you could own.
But he's just one of many you might call home.
And maybe someday the bitter will fade from your bones.
Fade from your bones.
Eri il mio soldatino....
ora un principe oscuro...
Ma anche per te, c'e una luce...
che ad un'altra vita ti conduce....
"Goodnight my little soldier. Ti amo, il mio cuore e l'anima." Those were the last words I heard before the darkness consumed me in a gentle, warm embrace. My last thoughts were of Will's cooing voice and the guilt. The guilt of me still thinking about the soul exchange.
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Hello my dear readers! I know this is a short chapter but, I am a bit short for time and I am writing this while I should be doing homework....oh the addiction of Wattpad. So anyways, this was my first time writing some smut or a sexy scene, please comment how I did. If you have any suggestions, please comment them. I have nooo idea if it was good or not....so please tell me your opinions. I might add some more to this chapter later, going more into the new camp life etc. but who knows? I just wanted to give you guys a little something extra in exchange form my long absence. Are you happy with Solangelo?
GUYS!!!!!! You have all been so busy!! It hasn't even been a week since I updated or hit 9K and I am already so close to getting 10K reads!!!! Like, the fuck?! That's amazing!!!! Thank you all so much for your votes and reads!!!
So how did you guys find my story? Comment here.
Also, any other additional ideas for the 10K milestone? Anyone?
I don't think I've foregone anything.....well, sleep deprivation for the win! YAY school! Notice my sarcasm. OH! This os a very rough post. No proofreading. So grammar Nazis, have at it. Point out all my grammar flaws.
Thank You Guys SO Much!!!! I LOVE YOU ALL!!!!!!!!
Adieu,
Aisha
(again, I apologize for the short length but I will add more or create a Part 2 r something...I'll decide once I've slept...be writing for you all soon!)
(another side note...did I murder your feels? If yes my only thought is...SUCCESS!!! Please don't hate me. I do this out of love and sadistic pleasure when toying with your emotions ;D)