Waking To A Dream
A melody of breaths and heartbeats...
A soft feeling on his side...
Happy...
Is that what happiness sounds like?
The soft cold mornings
To turn into a long-awaited time,
With just a person
To wake up by your side?
Sheets and quilts,
To keep you in.
Never to be apart?
A warm heart?
Happy...
Was that what happiness feels like?
...
Angel...
With curls for a halo...
Perfect, like gods' best feats,
Brightened by the morning sun,
By my side,
Bathing in these linen sheets...
You sat on my old chair,
You passed your gentle hands,
Through the books I left there...
My notes and dreams,
My lines and nightmares.
You complimented my handwriting,
You complimented my words,
Not knowing dear...
I wrote them for you,
But those lines you never heard...
As you fill this room on light,
I sit back and think:
Was it mere luck,
To have you here?
Last night,
And maybe again tonight?
...
Waking up is always confusing for a moment...even more confusing when there's double the warmth there usually is, double more than one body alone can produce. And it's again even more confusing when your hand is interlocked with another and they're both resting over a usually empty pillow. An empty pillow that now is occupied by e mess of free long curls. The color of which takes him to memories off a few days back...when he first saw them rest on marvel purely golden naked skin.
The angel from that day is no longer naked on this reality, in the one momentarily living, he's actually wearing his shirt, the one he offered him last night...he feels as he looks...so soft and vulnerable.
Louis fills with goosebumps as the warm body shifts closer to his own, hands tightening each other's grip unconsciously...They fit like a tight knot together, never to be unleashed, maybe that's what he wished, maybe that's what holding a hand means.
The goosebumps soothed when the close approaching starts to feel less new. It starts to memories itself, write itself on their brains automatically, like instincts. The need to be so impossibly close, and not only because they're both lonely...but because they wish to never be left alone ever again. Have I found you? It's all he can think off as he sees them, so close, so real...
Louis stares at his closed eyelids, soft like fresh spring's rose petals. He wants to touch his face, feel his lips with his own or just over his fingertips, he smiles just thinking of it, they had felt like sparks, he can still feel the tingling's like ghosts over them. Louis reaches a hand to send away a curl, now his neck free of them. He notices a few dots of birthmarks that reach his collarbone, he resisted the need to trace them and connect them all together like consolations. I'm bad at astrology, but I'd study your tiny stars every single night after the light is gone.
Louis thinks, he could be such a romantic person if he tried...or if he found someone worth trying. His words are his approach, and he knows he would do or learn anything that would double the effort. Like he did with the painting at the last bonus course...Just to impress this beautiful creature before him.
He's let his fingers brush over his soft cheek when the angel besides him took a deep breath stirring awake, the grip on their connected hands getting gentle.
They stare into each other's eyes without actually saying a words. Louis' other hand frozen over his soft cheek, green sleepy eyes warmly shining under the little morning sun that entered the room.
It's a moment of silence, as Louis gives Harry the time to catch up with reality, just as he himself did a moment ago. And as the green eyes curiously study him so up close finally in the sunlight, Louis wishes he could read minds, just to know what he's thinking deep inside his when he looks at him.
"Hi."-Harry mumbles with a morning husky voice.
Louis smiles at last, no longer tense, the hand over Harry's cheek continuing its journey to meet his now forming dimples. -"Hi."-He says in return.
Harry looks at their hands, lifting them both up on the chilly air. -"Did we sleep like this?"
"I don't think we did..."-Louis said studying the few rings on his fingers, they seemed carefully picked, he wonders if they have a meaning, knowing Harry they probably do.
"You didn't let go..."-Harry pointed out the obvious.
"I really thought that for a second you'd fade away with the air like a morning dream...I had to hold you just to make sure..."-Louis said hiding his face on the pillow letting a loud muffled voice.
"Did you know otters sleep holding hands?"-Harry asked out of nowhere, a stupid smile on his face...-"I think it's a simple but romantic gesture."
"You think?"-Louis said chuckling from inside the pillow.
Harry opened their hands but held them still both up in the air, and as curiosity kills cats, Louis turned to look at what he was doing.
They now rested one over the other, as if Harry was comparing them, his thin long fingers winning the imaginary competition between the two hands. Louis collects them all again, bringing them down under the sheets, nuzzling under them again. -"It's cold."-He burred.
Harry giggled pulling the blankets closer between them. Louis found the sound so amazing he covered in goosebumps again even though he was covered in sheets and blankets and Harry's warmth burned on his side.
Louis suddenly felt the need to pull Harry closer, cuddle him, feel him closer and closer and keep him there all day long. He didn't, however. A set of unspoken rules and boundaries keeping them from doing that and many other things.
"What do you like more, coffee or tea?"-Louis asked. Still on his mission to get to know him better, although last night they had asked so many questions and gotten so many answers but that still wasn't enough for two people that have known each other for a day.
Harry thought for a second. -"I think I like both, maybe coffee in the morning and tea before going to bed at night. You? I'm guessing tea for obvious reasons."-He said chuckling.
Louis joined him. -"Yeah tea, especially Yorkshire tea."
"Oh, I love Yorkshire tea, with a little milk and sugar."-Harry added.
Louis smiled. -"I can make us some to start the morning if you want, tea is all I have in my cabinets that's, so you know. I'm shit at cooking, but tea-making is my skill."
Harry's dimples appeared again, gracefully on both his cheeks. -"I'd love too."
Louis sat up, even though he already missed the warmth of the sheets and Harry's body, he had to get up at some point anyway. -"We'll have them here, it's too early to start the day anyway. Wait me here it'll only take a minute."
Harry nodded, looking at their hands part. -"Sure..."
Louis passed a hand over his bed hair trying to tame them somehow as he left through the door. At the kitchen counter there were Harry's flowers living in the water. He took a sniff of them and smiled, Harry had loved them, he loved them too now.
He took out the kettle and put it to boil, he prepared the mugs, one he always used that had a bear print on it and another one with a mosaic of colors, he remembers Lottie buying it once when she came to spend a winter with him, she didn't take it with her when she left.
He decided then and there, Harry should have the mosaic one, to match his artsy soul.
As he prepared the mugs, he mumbled an old song that was stuck on his mind, his hands practically flying all over the counter, collecting stuff and putting them all together.
When the kettle started to steam, Louis took it off and poured it into each mug, doing Harry's with practically more care. He added Harry's a little milk and then honey to both.
His mom had bought him this jar of honey at the beginning of this winter when he caught a bad cold, and his throat was so dry it could bleed if he spoke two words in a row. It had practically saved his life than, but after that he had only used it for his silly little lonely tea. Finally, he could share the sweetness of honey with someone, and not only with his cold throat.
When it was ready Louis searched the cabinets for biscuits, he did a triumphant dance when he found a few lefts at the end of a packet. He put them all in a plate and placed the mugs in the tray. He took on singular carnation flower and placed it on a long glass with a little water, smiling softly at how cute it all looked together.
As he balanced the tray on his hands, he looked like a character from a coming out of age movie about new lovers, who're having breakfast in bed after a night of spicy activity...
Louis entered the room, to find the bed empty, Harry having moved to his overfilled desk, careful hands looking at the many books there, reading the annotations on the sides of the page's margins.
Louis smiled as he placed the tea on the bedside and sneaked behind Harry's back, tapping his shoulder, making him jump.
"Tea's ready snoopy one."-Louis chuckled resting his head on his shoulder.
Harry blushed caught on act, Louis' journal still on his hand. -"I wasn't snooping it was open...It was literally begging me to read it...plus...I like the way you think, and the way you write what you think. Actually, I adore it."
Louis smiled unsure. -"You're too nice."
"I'm being real."-Harry said turning around on the old crackling chair and catching his hands between his, eyes focused on Louis'.-"There's a saying that I reminisce at such times it goes something along the lines of: I cherish the way you think, the way you see things, so much that when we're laying on bed, I dream to unveil your mind rather than your clothes first."
It was Louis' time to blush, as Harry looked at him straight in the eyes. Other than the fact that Harry liked the way he thought, and that he probably wanted to see him without clothes at one point, the saying actually touched him in many weak spots that made him tick. Louis kissed their joined hands and smiled genuinely. -"Thanks Curls."
Harry blushed deeper smiling wide.
Louis stood up and dragged him to the bed by their joined hands. -"Let's finish this tea before it gets cold."
Harry sat legs crossed over the bed, across from Louis, who brought the nicely prepared tray between them.
Harry chuckled. -"That's my flower!"-He pointed out making Louis burst in laughter, just the way he sounded as he said it making him laugh.
"Yes, they came in handy twice now."-Louis simply said as he offered Harry his mosaic mug, telling him how it used to belong to Lottie.
Harry liked the mosaic, even better he loved the colors and patterns on it. Louis made fun of his own mug, the big brown bear pattern not giving any unique feeling.
"Is it honey?"-Harry asked after he took a single sip licking his lips longingly.
"Mhmm, mom had bought me some so I put it to good use."
"It's lovely! Thanks Louis."-Harry said breathing in the life-giving fumes. A second went by and Harry spoke again. -"Do you have bonus classes any day next week."
Louis nodded as he sipped his well-made tea. -"Twice, pottery and sculpture classes...you planning on posing again, I can make a masterpiece of a sculpture if you're there again."-He teased him laughing.
Harry smiled widely hiding it behind the mosaic mug. -"You can't handle me twice in row Tomlinson."-He fired back.
Louis licked his sugary lips smirking, many-many scenarios where he could handle Harry not twice but all night long, coming to his mind. -"Wouldn't hurt to try."-He finally said taking a self-satisfied sip.
Harry's eyes went down as he laughed. -"You never know."
Louis placed the cup back on the tray, he sat up and went back to his desk. He took the journal from the top and a pen from the holder. He went back, sitting on his stomach over a pillow just besides Harry. He opened the journal and held the pen in position. -"Wouldn't mind If I drew this?"
"This?"-Harry asked tilting his head.
"All this, heavenly sight before me."
"Oh..."-Harry said placing his cup on the tray too.
Louis rolled his eyes. -"I meant you Harry. Not the tea. If that isn't too much of course..."
Harry nodded relieved. -"Yeah sure. All yours."
Louis shivered again. Goosebumps filling his pores. All yours...he dreams. He dreams.
Louis regulated his body over the sheets and tugged on the blankets for Harry to relax over them in a sitting position, he offered him a pillow to support his hips near the bed frame and soon got to his work.
Harry held the cup in a pose, and gave Louis a soft smile, not big enough to form dimples, but enough to show the crinkles by his eyes.
My eyes have never been blessed like they did when I saw you...color, details, shadows and lights...I was blind to all of them till you gave my eyes back their sight.
Louis concentrates over the paper, drawing and erasing lines from time to time. He's floating on some soft feelings he's yet to understand as he draws a messy sketch. The messy sketch starts making a little more sense as he erases and draws new lines to follow the old ones. His hand dances with the pencil over the dancefloor called a sheet, their traces forming the simplest art.
Louis reaches for his mug rushing to take a sip, eyes fixed over the paper, where from time to time they meet Harry's eyes, or Harry's skin, or Harry's curls and lips. He smiles when Harry tries to steal a glance, he smiles when Harry huffs when he isn't allowed to do so till he's done, he smiles when Harry crosses his arms over his chest annoyed, he smiles when Harry pouts as he takes a biscuit from the plate and eats it silently...He smiles at Harry, not noticing he's so softly falling, somewhere.
When the drawing is done Louis' tea has gotten completely cold, his eyes are still scanning for mistakes, since he isn't all that good, or so he thinks, since he hasn't practiced his hand a lot lately, he's a literature student anyway, not an art student.
"Can I see now?"-Harry asks playing with the hair-tie in his wrist before taking it off and tying his hair in a simple bun.
Louis finds that very attractive...the way his hair and unruly curls collect on the back of his head. -"Sure Curly!"-Louis says giving the journal to Harry eyes still looking at his now free of curls face.
Harry looked amazed as he stared at it for a while. He then looked back up, a pleased smile on his lips. -"It's amazing! It's so amazing, is there anything you can't do?"
Louis laughed. -"Cooking probably!"
Harry joined him in a laugh. -"You can't be that bad at cooking..."
"Actually, I can...Like 'call the fire-department' kind of bad."-Louis added with a huff.
Harry looked back down at the drawing. -"I don't remember smiling like this...so delicately, I probably looked more like a dork."
Louis chuckled. -"Oh no, I only draw what I see, and what I see is your smile radiating."
Harry blushed looking down at his lap, he passed his fingers over his lips...-"What is that one poem about? It was so...beautifully written. Real poetry."
Louis stiffened. -"Which poem?"
"The last one you wrote here...Sun in my eyes?"
Louis felt like he was caught, he couldn't lie and say it wasn't written about him, he wasn't one to lie unnecessarily. -"I wrote it for...for my muse."
"You have a muse?"-Harry asked his smile a little faded.
"Partly..."
"What is your muse?"-Harry asked curiously shifting his head in one side.
Louis gulped down. -"It's not mine, I don't own it, I don't even know if it counts as a muse...It's just the thing that inspires me, that makes the words just flow out of me without barrier, with very much ease."
Harry looked back at the journal eyes down. -"Must be amazing..."
"It is, they are amazing."-Louis said looking at him straight in the eyes. -"Enough about that...Did you like the drawing? Do you want to have it?"
Harry smiled nodding his head. -"Liked it a lot, but you can have the drawing, just...give me your pen for a second."
Louis gave it to him hesitant.
Harry scribbled something on the bottom of the page, and quickly gave Louis the drawing back.
Louis searched the page for his words and when he read them, he felt his cheeks blush.
Hope I inspired you, half as much as your muse today. Thanks for the best date of my life...and for the most well-made tea.
15.02.20xx
-H
*his number*
Louis stared at the number on the bottoms of the page. It was his real phone number...he had just given him his number. He didn't want to lose touch after this. They could maybe do this again someday; this didn't have to end here. -"Thanks Curly, you did inspire me, not gonna lie."-he managed to say stepping out of his shell-shocked phase.
Harry chuckled. -"My pleasure, Tomlinson."
"Really, I call you Curly and you call me by my surname...unbelievable!"-Louis said faking being hurt by such act.
Harry started laughing louder. -"I don't see a problem with that Tomlinson."
Louis huffed. -"I should just call you Styles than, or or or, I can call you Harold."
"Just Harry will do, Lou."-He said softly.
"Lou...my sisters call me Lou."-Louis said just as soft. -"That still doesn't stop me from calling you Curly tho."
Harry rolled his eyes chuckling. -"Better than Harold."
"What's wrong with Harold?"
"It's literally the name of any old man that is a snob and works at a library!"-Harry said huffing.
Louis suddenly went in a fit of laughter. -"Harry...You also work in a library! You're practically the Harold you just described!"
"I'm not old! Nor a snob."-Harry crossed his arms annoyed. -"Stop laughing at it Lou. It's mean."
Louis laughed even harder. -"Hi Harold, I'm 'Mean'."
"What a terrible joke."-Harry commented as Louis continued to laugh progressively worse and worse.
Harry dragged a pillow from the quilts and threw it on Louis face, making Louis lose balance and fall on the sheets still laughing.
Harry sat beside him, now a smile having re-bloomed on his face. Louis' laugh died down little by little.
"You big bully."-Harry pouted.
"You big baby!"-Louis smirked.
Louis sat up on his elbows to look at Harry's face again. -"We definitely should do this again."
"Give you more space to bully me. Sure."-Harry joked. -"I mean, really, it was fun, we should definitely do this again."
"We sound like teenagers."-Louis threw his head into the pillow.
"Nah, we aren't that desperate yet."-Harry laughed.
Louis stood there resting on his elbows, looking at Harry from above. A sudden change on the air gravitates them towards each other...they don't meet, they just gravitate. The magnetic field holding them both static. Like a planet and its satellite gravitate and circle around each other never meeting in between.
Harry's eyes are glued to Louis' and they both think of last night's kiss. Thinking how magical it had been...they'd wish to do it again, but last night had been just a pretend date, or so they think. And again, they wouldn't like to break the magic that formed around last night, the memory had to stay untouched alongside the fact that the kiss had been more of a symbolism of Valentine's saint love.
"Do you have friends?"-Louis asked all of a sudden, still hovering besides him, resting on his elbows. -"Other than Nora and Lily?"
Harry chuckled nervously. -"Do I really look like someone who doesn't have friends?"
"No indeed you look like that one handsome friend everyone has on their friend group at some point during college."-Louis reciprocated his mirth. -"But really..."
"If you're asking if I have time for one more friend, my answer is yes. I do have time for you."-Harry said, now with just a line of smile over his lips.
I do have time for you. Louis couldn't help but feel elevated at such response. -"That is awesome, that is wonderful."
"Do you have time for me?"-Harry asked back.
Louis shook his head. -"Of course. Now I even have your number!"
"Well text me back as soon as possible since I don't have yours."-Harry playfully added.
"Will I get to see you in any bonus classes?"-Louis asked, dropping back on the pillows and covers.
"I was thinking on applying for Creative Writing courses, since you're a literate student I think that'd be your strong point."-Harry fixed his eyes on Louis' hands, small hands that fidgeted with the linen quilts.
"Creative Writing courses, that's amazing, I can tutor you if you ever need any help. Definitely apply on it, I already have and I'm waiting for my schedule to come out next week, pretty sure that's all there is."-Louis held his hand in between his thighs, playing with the strings of his sweatpants as he talked.
Harry tore his eyes away from Louis' hand movements. -"Sure, sure. I'll make sure to turn my apply in this Monday."
Louis nodded.
A silent tune took over again.
Harry breathed in heavily. -"I gotta go now, sadly my shift starts in less than an hour."
"The library isn't far, are you sure you want to wear that to work today?"-Louis said pointing at Harry's discarded light pink shirt on the side of the chair.
"I can manage...probably."
Louis shook his head. -"I can lend you a hoodie, I've got a shit ton of those. They're in various sizes so I'm sure they'll fit you just fine."
"That's really thoughtful of you Louis, thanks."-Harry smiled genuinely with dimples on his cheeks again.
Louis would turn the world upside down to watch such dimples grow on his cheeks and he wasn't aware he thought that as he reciprocated his genuine feelings.
Louis walked to the closet and picked a black hoodie with a colorful flower outline printed on the back. He walked back to Harry who now had changed to his skinny black jeans and was waiting for Louis to being the hoodie.
Louis gave it to him and left to give him some privacy. At the kitchen he tried his best not to think of Harry naked, knowing he's already seen him like that, the images are vivid and so real he can't shake them off no matter how hard he tries. He occupied himself with preparing Harry's flower bouquet for him to take back home with him.
Louis had finished rewrapping it and tying the ribbon around it when Harry entered the kitchen now wearing his back hoodie. -"Thanks for lending me this again Lou. It's comfy."
"Better than last night's clothes."-Louis smiled. -"Not that I didn't like the pink shirt, it was great, beautiful shirt, just probably not the shirt to wear at a library...on a Sunday..."-He panicked a little trying to pick the right words, instead he earned a laugh from Harry.
"I understand, don't worry."-Harry simply said as he took his hair tie again and started pulling his hair all together in a bun again. -"Even better now?"
Louis realized how he could watch Harry do that a hundred times and still find it hot and interesting. -"Even better."
Louis gave Harry the flower bouquet again and the shirt packed on a little bag. He tried to get Harry to have breakfast, but Harry insisted that he'd get late if he stuck around till too late.
"Do you always work on Sunday's?"-Louis asked when they reached the doorstep.
"No... I'm actually covering a shift for a friend who planed his Valentines night to uhm...go well you know."-Harry said implying that his friend and his partner where on a sweet spicy break.
Louis rolled his eyes. -"Your date could've gone better too you know...didn't you think of that before agreeing to take over his shift?"
Harry blushed chuckling. -"I actually agreed to it before the date was set. And after that I just knew I wouldn't probably just have a one nightstand with this guy. Not my principles."
Louis laughed. -"You did sleep with me."
Harry huffed blushing even deeper. -"On a bed! That's all."
"I've seen you naked."-Louis shrugged knowing now how it affected Harry in a cute and familiar way.
"For a pose! That's all. I knew posing naked for that class would come around and bite me in the ass."-Harry said hugging the flowers closer to his chest pouting.
Louis found the pout and the line of crinkles that formed on his forehead very pleasing. -"Just joking, it was a pleasure to have you in anyway Curly, really."
Harry's expression softened. -"Same goes to you Lou."
Louis smiled eyes on Harry's now. -"Guess we'll see each other around than..."
Harry nodded. -"You can come around the library, I'm on the last floor remember."
"I'll make sure to come there soon."-Louis agreed. -"I'll text you."
"Goodbye than."-Harry went for a hug.
Louis stood on his toes to reach the hug better. It was one of the warmest hugs he's had in a while, he likes the closure it gives. Harry feels so comfortable between his arms, as id he belonged there rightfully. -"See you, Curly."
"Bye."-Harry pulled apart waving at him as he walked to the stairs.
Louis stood there till Harry disappeared from his sight. Then he went back inside and tossed himself to the messy bed where Harry's perfume now lingered like a cloud of pleasant memories. -"Shit."-Louis mumbled as he hid his face on the pillow taking in each fragment of the scent.
He spent the rest of the morning writing on his journal, a few poems coming out of him with so much ease, all he had to do was look at the drawing he took of Harry and the words would come out like fountain strips of water to form a pound of words and poems.
Louis spent the rest of the day just thinking, thinking of one person and only one. How did that happen? Louis didn't know. It just did, and it just made sense that way.
...